DISCLAIMER: Many of the characters and situations described in the following fic are owned entirely by Takahashi Rumiko, a woman I have the greatest respect and admiration for. (In fact if she were willing, I would have her love child. A neat trick since I am a male kinda guy and not built to bear children.) Her creativity has even inspired the creation of a whole new branch of the Trek Universe. Therefore, any mentions of historical moment from Trek, Trek-Tech and characters and ships, which I shall endeavor to keep at a minimum, is entirely intentional. Within this story are characters who are from the Trek Universe, but not of Trek. These are my creations. All other characters that are integral to this story are her property, apart from the characters from AMG. This is a work intended to share a concept, and perhaps my story telling abilities. There is no money to be earned by me or by anyone else from this work. I might also add, Paladin, Team Paladin, the Starship Percheron and her crew, and Miss Kitty as she is here, ARE my property, and not to be used with out express consent from myself. I have worked hard to develop these characters and hope to use them in published works eventually. I choose to share them and their attitudes with you here. The character from OH! My Goddess belong to who ever owns them… sorry but my copies of this series (as well as Ranma ½) mysteriously disappeared during a move
I would also like to add the following. NO the character of Jerrod Randolph Macon, A.K.A. Paladin is in no way related to T.N.G.'s Silver Paladin. That character was little more than a pirate, my character is intended to embody the true spirit of the word paladin.
Also, for the Trek nitpickers out there. I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but. There is no such thing as a society that doesn't use some form of currency. Roddenberry's vision of the future is a wonderful vision, but impractical as far as money is concerned. It is a socialist utopia, and it cannot work. Any historian or economist can tell you that. Even the most primitive cultures on the planet barter with each other for goods and services, and that is the earliest form of currency. Let's face it, even the People's Republics around the world, (Read as oppressive communist governments, where if you speak out against anything, you wind up run over by a tank.) Even they have currencies that the civilian public uses for internal trade. It has been postulated that the Federation has solved the issues of limited resources thereby removing the need for any form of currency. I disagree with this. Not that the resource problem has been addressed, but that currency will be done away with.
In the Federation future, most of the actual trade where currency is used to make a purchase will be of the 'intellectual properties exchange' forum. The reason why currency will always exist is because of the inherent need of humans for an incentive to improve. It wouldn't be worth your time to be a clothing designer or civilian engineer if you weren't given concrete evidence of your value. Payment of some form of currency will be much easier to keep track of fifteen hundred credits than twenty goats and fifteen sheep and three chickens from the buyer in China who really loved the new spaghetti strap, plunging to the ankles neckline evening gown.
Capitalism may not be perfect, but it's better than anything else around is right now.
Most likely the currency used in the world of Trek is closely related to various forms used in much of Sci-Fi, a credit system, there may be no hard currency, but there is a form of monetary exchange.
Internally to this story, there are some glaring examples, (to some) of extreme OOC, as well as outright character revision. As this is intended to be an original telling with some new characters with a minor twist here and there to aid in making the whole thing insensible… inchoate? …to the world of Rumiko's vision. There has been some comment that her characters aren't the way I have them here. And why would Ranma have a crush on Nabiki?
Okay, think about this. You live in a house with three very pretty girls. One of them you can't bring yourself to look at in any way other than as a big sister/mother figure. Then there are the other two, the youngest that you happen to be engaged to is violent, quick tempered, never lets you answer any question be fore she belts you and you are forcing yourself to love her.
And there is the third one, she isn't very nice to you, but you think you know why. She was also the only one that seemed excited when you arrived, and she doesn't hit you, ever.
I'd have a minor crush on her myself if I were Ranma.
Let's face it, Nabs, if she were a real person, would be a major babe.
The timeline for this story is just about there. Meaning there aren't going to be any of the big events that occurred in the manga and anime. The story makes an assumption that events alter somewhat with each restart by the Norn. So Herb and Saffron may exist but won't be part of the story.
And finally, for convenience sake. ( ) author's commentary.
Sound effect
Chinese
Japanese usually spoken planetside
English generally spoken aboard ship
And now for sumpin' gnu.
On with the tale
PALADIN ½ - SHE'S THE ONE
Chapter 4- Whirlwind Kasumi
Kasumi loved her little sisters, despite their failings. These failings weren't because of any ingrained personality problems they had; they were more because of the family's loss ten years before. Her mother, Kimiko, had died leaving a great hole in their lives. Most people outside the family didn't even know the true situation of the Tendo family. And it was best they didn't, pity would have been most embarrassing from their neighbors. Most people thought that Akane was a bit spoiled and allowed to be a little too violent in her dealings with others. Especially her dealings with her fiancé, Ranma.
These same people thought that Nabiki was just greedy and would probably wind up going to prison as an adult for white-collar crime, or become another type of criminal, …a lawyer. That people didn't seem to notice the lackadaisical Soun and his apparent unconcern for income was amazing.
But everyone noticed how Kasumi seemed to be the one thing that kept the household running and family together. Even with the addition of the boisterous and loud Ranma Saotome and his father, Kasumi always seemed to be happy. Even if at times it appeared to be forced.
When Nabiki had grabbed the paper from their father's hands that morning Kasumi had been prepared to admonish her for doing so. Watching her little sister go from disbelief to curious doubt to excitement had been a change Kasumi welcomed. It showed her that Nabiki could, in fact have a happy smile to her face that wasn't predatory or a smirk of condescension, that this smile of real happiness seemed to frighten Akane and Ranma because of its total rarity. (Rare because it had never happened in living memory as far as the two named could discover.)
Kasumi could only let her own smile grow just a bit more when Nabiki looked up at Akane and Ranma and asked "What??"
The novelty of Nabiki's expression quickly wore off.
"Nuthin'", Ranma said as he went back to the remnants of his food, remnants because his father was rapidly practicing the Saotome School of Anything Goes Speed Training Technique. Otherwise known as food stealing from his son.
Looking up to the rest of the family, Nabiki made an announcement, "I'm staying home from school today. There's something I have to check into. Ranma, would you let my associates know to handle everything for me today?" she asked, knowing Ranma would do it for fear of having another scam pulled on him. And besides, it felt good to ask him a favor instead of manipulating him into it.
"Sure." Ranma agreed, knowing if he didn't it would be bad for him later. It wasn't like Nabiki was asking him to take care of her 'business' himself. Not that he knew the first thing about gathering blackmail material, setting the odds and collecting bets on anything, or negotiating the sale of anything from pictures to impotent spells.
The last kept in stock just to sell to Gosunkugi.
The family watched as Nabiki calmly, and quietly excused herself and went to her room to use her computer. This was what they normally witnessed, what actually happened was the second Ranma said he'd do the favor. She hopped up, and ran excitedly up the stairs and slammed her door. All the while the smile of delight stayed on her face. If the rest of the family knew what she had been smiling about they would have wondered why.
If Ranma had known, he might have been frightened.
The rest of the morning went as usual. Ranma and Akane having the obligatory argument, the breakfast being finished in record time and the two younger teens rushing out the door because they were going to be late to school. The two old men taking their places at the shogi board to continue the never ending game of shogi, while they hatched another scheme of unimaginable idiocy to get the two teens that had just left married.
Kasumi almost frowned at this activity from the fathers. Almost frowning for Kasumi in most instances is a slightly less than a full smile. Kasumi knew that nearly everyone thought she was simply in her own world of flowers and blue skies. What they never realized was how much of a scholar she truly was. She'd always been interested in almost everything. But as she grew older the more she found she liked to read and learn about medicine, particularly pediatrics. Of course in her reading she had become rather accomplished as a first responder medic.
Ranma living with them this skill was a blessing for the poor boy.
The reason Kasumi almost frowned was because she knew what the men were up to. She also knew almost without doubt that it wouldn't ever work between Ranma and her little sister. Kasumi had started to think that very first week after the Saotome's arrived that Nabiki would have been the better choice for the engagement. And thinking of Nabiki made her wonder what her middle sister was up to.
'I'll find out soon enough', Kasumi thought as she began washing the dishes. Allowing her perpetual smile to drop away in the safe haven of her kitchen. What the rest of the family didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
Upstairs in the room of the Ice Queen, Nabiki was sitting in front of her computer doing a great deal of research. Well, not really research as opposed to reading a massive amount of information concerning the man named in the ad she still held in her hands. She stopped reading for a moment when a small picture came up from the bottom of the screen. Her eyes widened at the photo. 'WOW, rich, young and more than good looking!' Nabiki thought to herself.
Pulling her eyes from the picture she continued to read, her lips moving silently to what she read. 'Inherited a fortune and his family business on the death of his father Jason, a former test pilot in the American X-plane program where they had sent aircraft to the limits of the atmosphere. Jerrods father actually breaking through the envelope into space. 'Cool' Jason founded Macon AeroSpace in 1971 and helped with the design of the American space shuttle.'
Nabiki was impressed; she'd heard of Macon AeroSpace and had hoped to go to work after college for a firm as big, or at least as well respected. Here was an opportunity to meet the man that owned it and maybe get a good job offer from him. She had always wanted to move to America and go to work there. She'd rather got to Todai than an American college though. The money a good personnel manager could make was unreal in America.
'Feet on the ground Nabiki' she chastised herself. 'You have to meet him first! And hope he's impressed with your skills.' Her brow furrowed for a moment, 'I wonder how long an 'unspecified stay' is?'
The more she read about the Macon company and it's holdings, and the man Jerrod, the more Nabiki was convinced that the ad had to be some sort of scam. Though why anyone would go to the expense of a full-page ad in the large circulation paper for a scam, she couldn't imagine.
After thirty minutes of reading the data on the company, tracking the stock market quotes on it and finding a few small news stories about Jerrod Macon and his daughter, Nabiki found herself heading downstairs to use the phone. She stepped into the kitchen to use that extension; she noticed the questioning look Kasumi was giving her.
Her older sister wasn't the airhead everyone thought she was, Nabiki was probably the only one in the world who knew this. So without preamble she put the paper with the ad facing up, so Kasumi could read it, on the island counter. The gasp from the older girl was almost as big as the one Nabiki had had earlier.
"Nabiki? Is this real?" Kasumi asked.
"I'm about to find out sis. There is a number to call there, and if it's fake I'll be very mad and find out who scammed us! And he won't be happy with what Mr. Macon will do either I don't think." Nabiki answered
"He's a real person then?"
"Oh, yeah. He's real, with over twenty news stories on him, his company and his daughter. If this ad isn't real, I'll find a way to get in touch with him and let him know about it. Something like this just isn't funny!" Nabiki confirmed.
Then she dialed the number.
Kasumi after wondering aloud if she should start sending a thermos of hot water with Ranma, listened to Nabiki's end of the conversation and grew excited herself. Apparently this was a real ad. The extra money would be very nice, and it would be nice to have someone around that was more close to normal. She also found herself wondering if this man Jerrod was young and handsome. She also wondered what kind of child his daughter was.
Her excitement grew to mild despair. HE was planning on being here tomorrow! And the housework was barely done! Kasumi hadn't worked very hard on it the day before and the house was a mess. (In Kasumi's eyes it was a mess. Any one else would say the house was clean enough to eat off the floors.)
Taking a deep breath, Kasumi prepared to go into overdrive in cleaning, making the shopping list, doing the laundry, and beating the tatami mats and… and… and then suddenly stopped. She can't have heard that right; Nabiki turning down money was an oddity. Then she heard it again, Kasumi's eyes widened. Twice more she heard it and then a sob from Nabiki where she finally agreed to accept a deposit. Nabiki gave the information for the wire transfer to go through and then after several moments of hyperventilating, she passed out. Kasumi was barely there in time to keep her sister from hitting her head and grabbing the phone.
She heard a voice on the phone that was feminine, "Hello? Ms. Tendo, are you still there? Ms. Tendo?"
"Yes, this is Kasumi, her sister. Nabiki just fainted, I hope it wasn't something terrible you had said to her." She explained.
"Is she all right? I only said that my employer has authorized the sum of ten thousand dollars to be wired to her." The voice said.
Rapidly doing calculations in her head converting American dollars to yen and Kasumi came to a staggering sum. "Oh My!" she said as she too passed out.
Nabiki was the first to recover, as she had been the first to faint. Trying to rise, she found herself trapped under her older sister who had also become subject to the 'vapors'. The phone had been making that awful racket they make when there isn't a connection and it's off the hook. Truly touched by the concern of the two fathers, Nabiki grimaced. She was sure that she and her sister had made enough noise to attract their attention.
She got out from under her sister hung the phone up and got a cold damp wash cloth for her sister. While kneeling beside Kasumi she reached up for the phone and called the bank, where she almost passed out again from the news that 'Yes, a deposit had been made into the Nabiki Tendo account in the name of Macon AeroSpace. And yes, it was the sum of ten thousand American dollars.'
It didn't take too long for Kasumi to recover either, and the two had a rapid conversation about it not being a dream and it really was true and the money was already in the account. They both had visions in their heads of what the new income source would allow.
Nabiki thought of how good it would be to turn her 'business' over to her freshman replacement. Kasumi was thinking about all the really wonderful dishes she could make with the ingredients they could afford. (Oddly enough, cooking IS Kasumi's one great joy.)
Still a bit unsteady on her feet Kasumi went to the housework with a will. Spotless wouldn't be the word when she was done with the place. She even went to the trouble of asking uncle to make several signs to place at the doors leading to the interior suggesting that everyone take extra care not to get the house dirty.
While Kasumi had transformed herself into the white tornado of Nerima, Nabiki was talking to the fathers.
"Daddy, I need to talk to you and Mr. Saotome." Nabiki began
Soun felt fear. Genma felt fear. They had learned that when Nabiki used that tone of voice combined with that look on her face if they didn't listen carefully and follow her directions closely… Well it wasn't something either man wanted to experience. They knew instinctively it would be very, very, VERY bad not to.
Hiding his fear as best he could Soun said in a not quite squeaky voice, "Yes, Nabiki my daughter?"
She merely stared at him for a moment making him uncomfortable. The moment stretched on for a long time. When Genma started to fidget, this earned himself the stare. Soun could breath again. Then Nabiki began to speak.
"Daddy, I found something in the paper today. And because of this we are going to be entertaining a very influential man in our home. He will be staying with us for a period of time, the length of which is indeterminate. I would like VERY much for the two of you to curtail your idiot attempts to marry Ranma off to my little sister! I would also like for you to try to control your crying at the drop of a hat. And more than that I WANT for Mr. Saotome to learn how to eat like a normal person! And knock off the 'speed training' at meals. And as for morning training, if you want to train Ranma then you can do it in the afternoons after school.
Failure to abide by these requests WILL result in Akane cooking YOUR meals. And if she doesn't behave, she'll be joining you in the punishment and have to eat her own cooking."
Looking at the two men she added, "That means you two are going to have to help keep Akane under control and not let her lose her temper. I'll talk to her and Ranma when they get back from school today, and explain this to them as well."
The two men couldn't believe the cruelty of the threat mentioned. They believed that over the next week Nabiki would forget about it and they wouldn't have to worry about it until this 'influential man' arrived. Seeing the knowing looks on the faces of her prey, Nabiki let them have the last bit of information to get them cowering. "By the way, you start doing this today. Mr. Macon arrives tomorrow."
To say that Soun cried a river would have been a mild understatement. It was Genma that only cried the river. Genma cried a bit harder while he made the signs for Kasumi.
The time flew by as Soun cried, Genma pouted and Kasumi cleaned. After Nabiki had finished terrorizing the fathers she went back to her room to catch up some bills that had been falling behind and balance her accounts. And to do more research on Mr. Macon.
The information was impressive, to say the least. Jerrod Macon was considered one of the wealthiest men on the planet, gave regularly to numerous charities around the world. And still paid the full amount of taxes without taking the deductions he was allowed. Nabiki found that this really pissed off his competitors and most other over achievers at the accumulation of wealth. For some reason she felt that it was a pretty neat idea, rubbing the noses of the competition in the fact you were so clean you didn't need to do things like look for tax deductions.
Mr. Macon being a major hottie in her opinion didn't hurt either (This opinion established from the various pictures of Jerrod from different events he'd attended.) So she saved the pictures of the man to her hard drive, it was just so she could show them to Kasumi later if she asked… Really... it was.
Later that day.
Ranma had actually had a pretty good day, after booting Kuno into the next ward; he hadn't had to do any other fighting for the whole day. This may come as a surprise, but Ranma didn't really like to fight every day. He would like to be able to relax sometime and just sit in the sun and not worry about things like too many fiancées or the various rivals for the same fiancées. Still, it had been a good day for him. Even Ms. Hinako hadn't found a reason to practice the Happo-five-yen technique on him.
And the old sidewalk-washing lady had been kind and missed him today. He thought he'd find out what her name was someday, only so he could ask her to not get him so often.
Ranma was a bit surprised at the scene that he met when he arrived home. He wasn't greeted by the cheerful welcome he had grown to expect from Kasumi. Kicking his shoes off at the entry he stepped into the house and saw that Kasumi was busy tugging at the couch in the living room and the two old farts were just watching. Frowning angrily at the two men he went to help Kasumi move the furniture around for cleaning. Standing out of her way Ranma watched something he'd never seen before, Kasumi in an excited frenzy of cleaning. She was so busy she wasn't even smiling!
Ranma was just a little scared by the sight. So caught up in the vision of his future sister in law going full bore at the cleaning, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Ranma, I need to talk to you." Nabiki said as he turned. 'KAMI! What did I do? I know it ain't gonna be fun, no matter what she wants. Prolly needs some extra cash and wants me to pose as 'Ranko'. Sometimes I really hate my life.' (What Ranma meant is that most of the time he hated his life.) 'I know I really hate my curse!'
"Sure Nabiki." He assented, hoping to get it over with fast, and followed her up to her room.
Nabiki sat on the edge of her bed and motioned for Ranma to sit in the chair at her desk. After he sat he noticed that she just looked at him. She looked at him for a long time, a Very long time. Not being able to take it anymore he asked, "'Kay Nabiki. Whacha need?' His fear of what was to come causing him to fight the shivers running up his spine. Ranma isn't easily frightened, but this was Nabiki.
Nabiki held the gaze for a moment longer, then said, "Your cooperation Ranma." Then she went on to explain about the ad she'd found that morning. And the following research and phone call and then one-sided conversation with the fathers. She finished up with the all important 'Requests you will follow on pain of death, and much worse.'
"All that being said Ranma, what I need from you is the following. Limit your arguments with Akane to the school and away from the house, if she starts it, SHUT UP and walk away. If you start it, I get five pictures of Ranko to sell to Kuno. No morning spars with oyaji, do it in the afternoon, no speed training at meals, eat like a person! Do your home work and try to learn how to be less of a pain in the ass." Nabiki laid out the non-negotiable terms. She didn't realize it, but if Paladin had witnessed it he'd offer her a job on the spot as lead negotiator for New Home.
Ranma had gone white when she called him to her room, then he grew worried, and then he got scared. Then as she explained more and more about the coming visitor, he was more than ready to agree. He didn't dare tell Nabiki he knew about how the dojo was maintained, or that more often than not when Nabiki was out taking her 'candid' shots of him in either form he was aware of it and even helped by making sure that he was evenly illuminated. If she had known Nabiki would have cried at how giving Ranma was.
It wasn't that he was all that giving a person or that he really cared. He just didn't like to not pull his own weight. Yeah, that was it.
"Okay, Nabs. I'll do all I can to help." He agreed. It was easy for him to agree with these demands. They meant he wasn't going to be out any money, at least not any more than usual. And he'd be helping Nabiki with something new. Ranma would never admit it, but he liked to help Nabiki with problems, it made him feel that she liked him a little when she asked him to help.
Nabiki was too happy to even correct Ranma on the 'Nabs' use. She didn't like to be called anything but her own name, diminutives really bothered her. But over the time Ranma had been living with them, this particular usage had strangely gotten less abrasive to her. She didn't mind it when Ranma called her that, at least in private. Anybody else that did it would pay for it, for a very long time.
The conversation Nabiki had with Akane was less pleasant; it could be considered to be hellish in fact. That is how Akane had felt about it afterward, her being told in no uncertain terms to be on her best behavior starting that night, and no arguing with Ranma for the foreseeable future really upset her. How dare her sister tell her she couldn't indulge in her favorite hobby, 'Pound the Pervert'?
That the individual being thought of as a pervert really bore no resemblance to that particular description was irrelevant. To Akane Tendo, all boys were perverts until proven innocent! And then you don't trust them, because they are bound to have perverted thoughts. How the girl could come to the conclusion is anyone's guess; her primary defense on this issue concerning Ranma was that he had seen her in the nude. The fact that she had walked in on him while he was taking a bath being conveniently forgotten, especially if she was in the midst of punishing him for insulting her, her cooking, picking on P-chan or picking on Ryoga.
Regarding the pig-boy, the less said about him the better. But then again, Ryoga isn't much to speak of, but a hell of a guy to talk about.
In one sense Akane was right when she thought Ranma was beating up the weak, most of Ranma's fights with the majority of his opponents were against the weak, mostly those weak of mind, or lacking in true honor. Or in Tatewaki Kuno's case, lacking honor and being reality challenged.
But, back to Akane's plight. Nabiki had informed her that she would be required to behave and not argue with Ranma because there was a new PERVERT coming to stay. Of course that belief was only Akane's and she was going to have to prove once again that she was correct about the existence of the new guys perverted nature and then she'd be able to pound on him, just like her punching bag Ranma.
What Nabiki had said gave her to pause though, if she didn't do as requested, (requested in this case meaning you damned well better do it or ELSE!), she'd have to pose for bikini pictures. Not only that, she'd have to pose for as many as Nabiki could snap in the space of an hour, and have to eat her own cooking!
Akane was secretly hoping to have to cook for the father's. For some reason the fact that the kitchen invariably was rendered unusable until the people with the haz-mat suits came to clean it. And the fact that a more than small percentage of her 'culinary delights' were ambulatory, never seemed to enter her mind. To her mind, she was as fantastic a cook as her sister Kasumi. This belief persisted even with the professional statements from the Toxic Waste Commission; a United Nations funded project much like the International Atomic Energy Agency.
Those statements being that Akane willfully breaks twenty-seven of the amendments of the International controlled substances ban, not to mention the international ban on experiments to create life in a laboratory.
Never mind the fact that Akane also refused to see the abject looks of horror when she announces she intends to cook. She also ignores the looks of pain and truly strange changes of facial coloration when she forces Ranma to eat her cooking. It just isn't normal for people to change color to plaid.
As frightening as thoughts of Akane cooking were to people other than Akane, even more frightening was Kasumi rushing everywhere in a flash cleaning everything until it had been cleaned within and inch of it's life. The sight of her sister whirling around the house finding spots to clean that hadn't been cleaned in at least a week turned even Akane white with fear.
Akane had been thankful her pet P-chan hadn't been around for over a week, she was afraid that Kasumi would have drowned him accidentally in giving him a bath, or dusted him to death. As much as the resultant funeral would have been cheering to Ranma, it wasn't going to be the case. P-chan was currently running for his life from overly affectionate, very large pig.
This wouldn't have been too unusual with the pig-boy running. But this time the overly affectionate pig wasn't a sow, it was hog that had just discovered he was gay and wanted to experiment with the farmer's tractor harness and some rose scented mud additives he'd managed to root up.
The entire household was kept awake for several hours longer than normal as Kasumi flitted around looking for that one last little piece of cleaning that hadn't been done. That one piece of fluff that was completely out of place. The spec of smut that had gotten on the bottom of the practice mat in the Dojo.
The rest of the house missed getting their breakfast the next morning as Kasumi overslept for the first time in nearly a decade. The girl always felt that first impressions are the longest lasting. Yes, apparently Kasumi was a little excited at the prospect of having someone new to care for, and he had a daughter as well!