Chapter 3: The Truth

Alice and the Geth had lots of catching-up to do. She told about the Catalyst, Synthesis, her death, her resurrection... They told about everything they had done during these thirty years, their longing to reunite with their own... And finally,

"Why do you call me Shepard-Source ?"

"You are the source pattern that was used for Synthesis. We do not know how it happened, but you are inside of us, now. Your pattern is inside everyone, even if they are unaware...

We are aware of this. It allows us to understand you."

The implications were ominous. "Lately I seem to be able to read people's minds, and somehow control them."

"Hypothesis: You were the pattern used to rewrite them. It makes sense."

Alice paced in the room, horrified: "Fuck, No! I never wanted this!"

"Shepard-Source, we may acquire more information if you use this ability on us."

She did, just a little. She made the Geth blink.

"Hypothesis confirmed. You can control us. We have no choice but to trust you."

Alice had to sit down. "Would it stop if I died ?"

"You spoke of your resurrection. You are part of all life, artificial and synthetic, like redundant backups. This individual form may perhaps die, but It is likely that Shepard-Source cannot die. We are unwilling to try to kill you to confirm."

The Geth then expressed deep sadness: "We think that... you will have to live with it. We can offer hospitality, if you desire."

Alice was slipping into despair.

Everyone on board likes me... did I make them ?
I have no official authority, yet the admiral backed my choice without questioning.
Even when she allowed me on the ship in the first place...
They need to run away from me! And I need this curse to stop! Liara...

She accepted the offer. The Geth gave her a ship, and a crew of volunteers, fully informed of what she was. The consensus was to trust her.

The asari refused to let her go, however. She convinced them.

Lili wanted to come with her. Lili pleaded, said she loved her, that she would accept waiting until Shepard would choose her...

That was the worst. Alice had spent more time with her than she had with Liara! There was no more war, no more pressure, they had all the time to talk. Alice had melded with her to show her how to use the connection. She had seen her mind... and she knew that she would have fallen for her, completely. Liara simply came first.

This night, on the Geth ship, while eating, Shepard stabbed her own hand with her knife. She was so enraged she went all the way through. She deserved it.

.

Alice's ship was rushing towards Liara, as fast as possible. She would need three years.

However, they could not meet before sorting out her "issues." Alice called it her curse. The Geth were the only ones who could help. Alice had specifically requested certain equipment to be brought aboard.

The Geth experimented on her. It became clear that Alice could subconsciously influence people. She would most likely use it to make everyone appreciate her, but it was possible that someone she hated would, one day, feel suicidal.

"It is simple. I need an OFF switch for this crazy indoctrination thing. I don't care if you have to dissect me."

They did, always with her consent. They monitored everything. They probed her brain. They examined, and they understood. Alice went through so much pain...

To no avail. There was no way. It was not something she was doing herself. It just was.

People recognized Alice as a part of themselves, because she was. Everyone was also part of Alice.

She was the Source Pattern used for Synthesis. People unconsciously, naturally recognized her as such, and welcomed her influence. Every being wanted to lose itself and become a cell inside the galactic-wide organism of Alice. This was the essence of Synthesis. It was the point. It was exactly how it was supposed to be.

In the end, the only conscience left would be Alice. Everyone else would be one of her cells. Smart cells perhaps, able to talk, maybe even have opinions as long as they did not contradict Alice's, but ultimately, slaves, at best.

The solution to end all wars, designed by the Reapers. The Catalyst hadn't told her about the fine print.

It was too late to stop it. All she could do was delay it by removing herself from the picture.

Alice insisted. This was the result of Reaper technology. Therefore, there must exist a technology to undo it. The Geth would have to convince everyone that they had to find it.

"Fuck! I should have chosen to destroy them!"

"We concur. In light of this new information, our extinction would have been an acceptable tradeoff to avoid this abomination."

Alice knew why she had resurrected, and why she couldn't age. It was so she could be imprisoned as long as necessary, inside this body, to buy everyone time while they looked for a way to undo her sins.

If her body died or was destroyed, she would escape, and Synthesis would resume. She had no choice.

Find a way to get rid of me. I beg you.

.

Alice arrived at her destination, sent probes, watched monitors.

There was the Normandy wreck, surrounded by a few houses, orchards, and fields. Some tilled, some with cultures growing, others with local animals pasturing. Alice's hands were trembling as she adjusted the optics and brought the probe closer. There were silhouettes in the orchards, gathering fruit. There were her friends, her crew. Children, too, playing. They had survived. It was all so peaceful. And there was Liara, burning the screen with her unmistakable color. Burning Shepard's heart.

Alice crashed the probe into the sea, locked herself in her cabin, and stayed there, crying, for days.

I beg you, find a way to get rid of me.

If she stayed here, watching Liara on the monitors, she would eventually go insane, and wreck the galaxy. She had to land.

The Geth would station a fleet around this planet, guard it, and drop supplies if needed. Everyone attempting to enter would be informed of what she was. No-one would ever leave.

A group of volunteers, large enough to ensure genetic diversity, would have to be brought in. Alice specifically excluded Lili, in case she requested it.

The Geth would work on making Liara immortal, if possible. They concurred, as this would increase the chances of Alice not going insane.

If that happened, the people on this planet would be her toys. Sacrifices to keep the rest of the galaxy safe. Unless she found a way to escape, in which case, all would be lost.

Alice embraced her fate. She had chosen it, thirty three and a half years before.

I chose to play God, and failed. I changed the existence of everyone without asking for their consent. I took away their free will.

Every time Liara will smile at me, or make love to me, I will not know if it is sincere, or if I make her do it. This will be my punishment, until they find a way to get rid of me.

So be it.

She sent a probe to talk to her friends. She explained. Some decided to leave, most decided to stay.

Then she landed, and ran into Liara's arms.

And fuck everything.

.

Epilogue: author says -

Well, that was Synthesis. Don't trust a Reaper to rewrite your brain I guess.

Now, please leave a review (I really appreciate constructive criticism)!