A/N: This chappie took a little while. But here it is!
Shout out to Kathryn, Day and UnsightlyDreams.
Day: This is the tale for the hopeless romantics who read Fool's Gambit and wanted a 'happy' ending. So keep a little hope, yes.
UnsightlyDreams: Unfortunately, these two have a lot of fucked up between them. Progress will be slow. But I healing is soon. As for the dream sequence, it was mostly for symbolism purposes with the tower and its fall. The children's fearful reaction is related to the dramatic change or disillusionment to follow. And Light's 'work' is more or less a subconscious portrayal of Light as an 'innocent' who is powerfully obsessed with stopping Kira. Anywho, I'm glad you're enjoying my play with symbols. Tarot can be interesting.
House of Cards
By Catsitta
Part fourteen: Learning to Breathe Again
She hated him.
Even if she claimed nothingness, that her heart would no longer be wrenched apart by his actions, L knew deep down, that the affection in her heart was replaced by that dark emotion. It tainted the fragile bond between them. It drove them both insane. What had become of them? Of L, the greatest three minds in the world, unfazed and untouchable. Of Light, the teen prodigy almost turned god, who sought to change the world with cool, calculated brilliance. They were shadows of their former selves, haunting each other like stubborn ghosts, unable to rip apart the scars that bound them and seek freedom.
L reached for the blinds and pulled them open, flooding the small parlor with the fading glow of dusk. He had done as he threatened and moved Light away from Whammy's House. Roger said naught on the matter. After all, L was the one who made the money which continued to fund the orphanage as well as L's other endeavors. If by moving into a cottage in the London countryside made the eccentric assassin stable enough to do his duty, then it was for the best. Kira would be kept far away from the children.
Sighing, he turned and drank in the dusty scene. In his haste, he impulsively made these arrangements without considering the finer details, like hiring a cleaning service to polish up this old house before he hid himself and his wife away here. At least L thought enough ahead to stock the cupboards and the linen closet. In the morning, J would arrive with the discreet vehicle L purchased in order to make errands back into the city.
Unless another crisis like Kira popped up, there was little reason for him to leave his hiding place. L moved from bolt hole to bolt hole in order to evade enemies, traveling the world with Watari at his side. But now, he felt the creeping urge to leave the running behind and simply close this chapter in his life. L was tired. Very tired.
It was foolish to settle like this, to put down even shallow roots and play house with his unwilling companion, but ever since those early days, when Light was an innocent who he dragged into the thick of danger without heed to common sense, he wanted this. Normality. Humanity. Light brought into cold life so much warmth. He was the night and she the day. He wanted her desperately in his life, but smothered her brightness in shadows with his selfishness.
Could they ever return to good?
In the wake of drowning, could they learn to breathe again?
L shuffled into the sitting room and passed an open palm over a faded settee. The woodwork was solid, but the cushions could use replacing. If nothing else, he and Light shared a love of beautiful things. Every extraordinary indulgence he made was often in pursuit of aesthetic pleasure. Living surrounded by concrete walls and unfeeling technology numbed the senses, made him sharp and clear-headed, but he did so enjoy the finer things in life. Like renaissance paintings of fruit.
"I should collect some wood." Winters were harsher here than in Japan. Fireplaces served a rather important purpose should the power be cut by unpleasant weather. And they had such a lovely little fireplace now.
He wandered over to the open brick fixture and swiped some dust from the decorative mantel. This was where normal families placed knick-knacks, photos and other sentimental odds and ends.
The creak of aged wood beneath soft footsteps drew L's attention.
Light had emerged from her bedroom and was now investigating the kitchen. He should have thought about that. Normal people needed to eat rather consistently. Curious, L watched as she opened various drawers and cabinets, clearly frustrated successive with every door she shut. Why was she so flustered by something as simple as finding a snack? He stocked plenty of healthier options for the picky teen amongst his sweets. If Light opened the refrigerator, she would discover fruits and deli meats, which were often her preferred foods when more traditional options were not available.
He frowned as he observed her slightly hunched form and pale face. Light never walked with anything but perfect posture except...oh. Oh! Well, that would make things a bit awkward rather soon. He forgot completely about the finer details of Light's female physiology.
Quietly, so as not to disturb Light on her quest, L opened a cabinet above the stove. Amongst the bags of sugar and the boxes of tea, sat a row of BBQ flavored potato chips. They were not the same brand that Light ate back in her home country, but when he was taking inventory, he made certain to stock a few different kinds. He reached up and grabbed the closest one and shut the door.
He turned to find Light standing behind him, a blank expression on her face.
L stared back then held the bag out.
A peace offering.
She took it with two fingers, as if reluctant to touch something he had his hands on, then walked away.
"I love you..." he whispered when she disappeared from sight. "I don't know why, anymore, but I love you." As expected, no response came. Even the sun slipped out of sight, leaving him in darkness yet again.
.
The next day found L back in London, a rather strained looking Light sitting quietly in the passenger seat, one hand propped against her cheek. An outsider would never be able to guess that just a few months ago, she was battling death, her body broken and bloodied in the arms of her lover. The casual position hid the limited movement she possessed in her shoulder and hands. Therapy made it so that she could pick up objects again with minimal pain, and even dress herself with enough time and a little effort. Writing might be a distant prospect however, because L caught her with a pen and paper that morning, struggling to shape the delicate kanji of her native language, her whole body trembling from the pain.
"Light does not need to dress like a male anymore," he said when she emerged from the bathroom, clad in slacks and a long-sleeved sweater, her breasts clearly bound tight beneath the wool. Light didn't deign to respond. It was clearly a strain on her tolerance to concede with his request that she come with him into town. Perhaps she thought that she could escape in a moment of absence. London was a big city, easy to get lost in.
But he was not planning on letting her escape from sight.
Pulling the car into a parking spot, L stepped onto the street and rounded the front to assist Light. She acted before he could reach her, popping the lock and slipping onto the sidewalk. As she slammed the door shut, Light took in the scene. They were in a modest part of town, the buildings reaching at least two or three stories.
"An apartment complex?" she murmured, mind clearly awhirl for reasons why they would be in such a place.
"Come along," L bid. "I could not take Light here while we were at the Whammy House."
"Where is here?"
"Something that should make Light happy."
"When did you start caring about my happiness?"
"...I do not wish another fight at the moment."
"Oh? Is that so?"
"Light."
"I thought the great L liked fighting. It's why he kept acting like a massive pervert when he kidnapped me."
"True."
"That's it?"
L grabbed Light's elbow and gave it a tug. Arguing in the misty London morning was not exactly how he planned this day to begin. Light did not struggle, but her silence told him exactly how she felt about the situation. They weren't lovers. They weren't friends. They could not even talk without the situation falling apart. Too many mistakes were made; too much innocence was lost.
Yet here they were, both trying desperately to repair what they lost in the storm while the ground beneath them still trembled. It was a hopeless, pointless, toxic situation, one that bred unhappiness and disdain. But the chains of L's obsession bound them; Light the victim of his fall from grace. If only Kira never rose to power. Then he never would have gone to Japan, they would have never met, and...
...and what?
He would be sitting in a concrete room surrounded by computers, Watari serving him tea. He would solve countless cases, taking on those that interested him with bored nonchalance. He had nothing. He was a shell of a man living a weapon's life, sheathed until needed for battle, his mind kept razor sharp on the pointless grindstone of his fated duty to justice.
L sucked in a shallow breath, recalling the conversation that changed the feelings between he and Light, the world collapsing around them as they feared for the end.
"Pretend with me," he said. "I'm not L and you're not Kira. We were simply two people who met under the cherry blossom trees by Light's school."
Light understood. "I was on my way to exams. And you were just sitting there, strange as could be."
"Light was beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him."
"I guess I could say I couldn't keep my eyes from you either."
"We spoke, though briefly."
"Then we parted ways. But fate has a way of crossing paths."
"We met again by the fountain. I asked Light's name...asked him to dinner."
"I...I said no. But you were quite persistent. You did everything you could to impress me."
"I was wealthy and intelligent, though I never thought Light could be as vain as to dismiss me on my looks alone."
Light chuckled softly, "I eventually said yes."
"The first date was awkward."
"Yes. Yes it was. I'm not sure why I said yes to a second."
"Or a third?"
"You were a touchy-feely pervert."
"And Light was so shy."
"How did we fall in love?"
"I'm not sure. It happened...quietly. We never noticed until that kiss in the rain."
"The rain? How cliché."
"I was on the roof, listening to the church bells. Wondering...was it a wedding or a funeral."
"You were getting soaked standing out there."
"Yes. But Light joined me."
"So that's love? Standing on the roof, kissing in the rain."
"I think so."
"You think too much."
"So does Light."
"Curse of being geniuses."
L laid a hand on the banister leading up a staircase. Those people seemed like strangers now. They were on the cusp of finding safety and adoration in each other's arms. And now, all they did was try to hurt each other. Light did not trust him...and L wasn't sure if he trusted himself. They would never be the same, but-
He reached the top step and knocked on the door.
-maybe they could find common ground again.
"One minute!" called a soft voice from inside.
Light jerked her arm away from L's grip, clearly ready to give him a railing for his tugging her around. Then, the door swung open.
Tawny eyes widened.
"S-Sayu?"
"Light?"
Suddenly, the young teen let out a shrill scream of joy and flung herself at her 'big brother'. Light wrapped her arms tightly around the girl, willing to ignore the agony if only to prove that what she was seeing was real. She stroked Sayu's hair, her shoulders and face, an expression of pure wonder on her features. This was exactly why Light could never have been Kira. Kira was the kind of person utterly willing to sacrifice everything to get his way, even his family. But from the start, Light made it clear the her mother and sister were the core of her world.
"Brother, it really is you. I never thought...I thought you were dead. And then they started saying all those horrible things about you."
"Shh. It's okay. Everything is okay. I'm here now."
"Sayu, what is going..." A plate smashed to the floor. "...on."
The siblings turned to see Sachiko Yagami standing just beyond the doorway, her face white as a sheet. Light slowly released Sayu to approach her mother. She was not a demonstrative person, her affection more found in her actions than in her embraces, but the prodigal son had returned after parting the seas and having them crash down upon him, nearly drowning him to death. Thus Light abandoned the distant, serious facade that made her the perfect son, and threw herself like a child at her mother. Neither wept, but the smaller woman reached up and cradled her lost daughter to the crook of her neck.
When they finally separated, Light reached out for Sayu and swept her hands through her hair absently.
"How?"
"Your friend here found us and brought us here."
"Friend?" Light frowned back at L.
"He said you were terribly unwell, that you were injured in service to him during the Kira case."
"That is true."
"Does this mean you will be staying with us, brother? There's not much space, but you can stay with Matsuda in his room."
"Matsuda is here? He lives here?"
"Yup. He saved our lives and helped L too. He's at work right now, but he'll be so happy to see you again."
"I...I don't know..."
"Despite how it may seem, Light is not fully recovered from his injuries."
"Huh? Is that true, brother?"
The sadness in Light's eyes was palatable, "I...I just left the hospital I was staying in. I will need at least six more months of physical therapy before I can say I'm completely healed. Even at that, there may be things I cannot do."
"For the sake of Light's future well-being, I am ensuring Light has the best care possible. In fact, once he regains full capabilities again, I will likely ask for him to return to my service."
Mrs. Yagami's gaze was piercing, "Hasn't my son done enough?"
"I...I have lost many good people in the last year. One of which was like a father to me, a Mister Quillish Whammy whom the world knew better as Watari...L's envoy. It is my wish for Light to assume this position in the future, for I trust no one more than him." Light shook his head subtly in disbelief. "He is my friend. Or, was my friend. These past few months have put a strain on our relationship and things have been done and said that were shamefully regrettable. But I have every hope that Light will put his considerable intellect and charisma to good use in the future and assist me in making this world a better place."
"Sounds too good to be true..."
"It is," Light deadpanned. "L, thank you for the kindness you have shown my family, but I don't think it will be possible for me to continue working for you."
"Understood, but we will discuss that issue when we come to it. Now, I believe we should depart."
"Already? No. I'm staying here."
"Light, you will see them again. I will not keep you from your family any longer, but we have things to take care of in town and your family has work to do."
"Oh my gosh! You reminded me. I'm going to be late. Bye, big brother! Visit soon or you'll regret it." Sayu dashed into the flat long enough to grab a bag and shoes before running off. There was laughter in her voice as she sang her way down the street.
Light watched her run off with disappointment.
"Thank you for your time and patience, Mrs. Yagami."
"One moment...L...Ryuuzaki, I mean. Would it be possible for me to have an hour with my son? Just an hour."
"There is much to do."
"L..."
"No, Light."
Anger passed over her face, then it dissolved into determination. This was something she wanted. And Light did odd things when she desired something enough. Reaching out, she grabbed him by the back of his head, fingers in his hair. Light jerked him forwards and placed a whisper of a kiss on his lips, their breath intermingling just briefly. Then she shoved him away.
Absorbing the fire in her eyes, L bowed out gracefully.
"One hour. I will return then."
He caught Mrs. Yagami's eye as he turned to descend the stairs, and found disapproval, but no surprise. Light was a genius after all. Maybe there was more to her mother than he suspected. Reaching the last step, he glanced up at the now closed door, his heart pounding.
This was not a fairy tale. There would never be a happily every after. The pumpkin carriage had long since rotted away. But maybe, just...maybe, they could learn to breathe again.
tbc
A/N: (See, I was going somewhere with all that drama. The situation had to get worse before getting at all better. Anywho~Thank you for reading. Please review! Feedback is love and how I know when things are and are not working.)