Chapter 7: It's the rules

Tony entered his apartment with Bob on his heels. He looked around his living room then headed to his room without a word which worried his family more. Bob and Anna followed him and closed the door behind them. They stared at Tony for a while, it was obvious he wasn't going to say anything so Anna said: "Don't do that to yourself, tell us what's in your head"

Tony shook his head slowly. Why couldn't she understand? There was nothing they could do. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to forget what happened and talking would just remind him of what he considered his own failure. Bob noticed Tony's appearance and put his hand on Tony's arm: "say some thing Tony. Please talk to us"

Tony closed his eyes for a while: "and say what? I didn't notice that my girlfriend is a mole and I allowed her to kill Teri. What more can I say?" Anna stared at him shocked; she just couldn't believe her ears: "What the hell are you talking about? You can't possibly think that is your fault"

Tony sat on the bed rubbing his eyes and softly whispered: "but it is", tears welled up in his eyes but he blinked them away: "I was the one who brought Teri to CTU.I thought it would be better if Nina talked to her. When she wanted to know what was going on with Jack and Kim, I refused to tell her so she went to Nina. Why didn't I tell her? We were talking about her husband and daughter, she deserved to know"

Bob bit his lip, he knew that Tony was doubting his decisions and he hated to see his brother in that condition. Bob had always looked up to Tony although Tony was elder than him by only 2 years. Tony was all over the place. Bob hoped that his words would help him: "you did what you had to do, she was a civilian Tony. You couldn't tell her even if you wanted to. It's the rules"

Tony threw him a strange look and left the room. Anna and Bob followed him to the living room where the others were sitting. Bob sensed that Tony was holding some thing from them: "you didn't tell us everything, did you?"

Tony focused on his father: "I broke those rules for Nina. Teri and Kim were kidnapped and she was helping Jack to find them. She asked for my help and I helped her and broke the rules. Why couldn't I do the same with Teri?"

John understood what he meant immediately. He was an ex-marine himself and knew how much it hurt to know that you could have saved some body if you acted differently. He moved over to stand in front of Tony and looked in his eyes. There was so much guilt and pain in Tony's eyes and John's heart ached for his elder kid: "if Nina hadn't been involved, if Jack had called you and asked for your help, would you have helped him?"

Tony nodded wearily and lowered his head. John put his hands on either sides of his face: "Tony, look at me". He waited until Tony's eyes met his: "you did your best and there was no way for you to stop what happened.Those things just happen, no matter what you do to stop them"

Tony understood his father's logic. He was doing what he thought was right at the time. He still felt guilty but it wasn't as before. Shawn's words brought him back to Earth: "maybe you should take a couple of days off, it'll help"

Tony smiled bitterly at his younger brother: "I don't need to, I'm suspended". Everybody stared at him shocked except for Christine. Tony caught her eyes: "I think you are the only one who saw that coming"

She shrugged: "I didn't expect you to notice. It won't affect you much though. Once they finish the investigation, it'll be over". Tony scratched the side of his face: "over? My name will be attached to hers for a long time. My reputation is ruined and that's it. Maybe……maybe I should resign"

His family exchanged glances then his mother said firmly: "you can't keep doing this, every time things get a little complicated, you escape but guess what? That won't solve anything". Tony stared at his mother with a pained expression, her words hurt so much: "I don't think I can go back and…….".his voice trailed off and his bottom lip started to quiver.

Margrette's heart melted for him. She knew she was harsh on him but she couldn't stand to see him destroying his life and leaving a job he loved: "you did nothing wrong. You helped to save Senator Palmer's life. You should be proud of your self sweetie, you are a hero"

Tony cocked his head to the side; he didn't seem to be convinced so Christine asked: "did they set a date to question you?" Tony flinched at the word "question", it brought waves of memories back, he remembered when Alberta suspended him and Nina and questioned them. The word just made him feel like a criminal. He pushed his feelings aside and answered: "yeah, tomorrow"

Christine leaned forward and held his hand: "here is what you are going to do. You will go and face them all, you will tell them what they want to know and I guarantee you, they'll call in a couple of days and ask you to come back and you will because if you didn't, that would mean that Nina won"

Tony thought about what she said for a moment. She was 100 right, Nina wanted to destroy them and he would never give her that satisfaction. That was his revenge; he would go back and do his job like he used to. He would help to catch people like her and save people like Teri.

He looked at his family with gratitude; they believed in him and in his abilities and he wasn't going to let them down. He felt a wave of strength wash over him. For some reason, he was sure that he would find his way through this crisis like he did before.