Welcome To The Cullen Family Chapter 4: Camping Trip And Stolen Cars, a twilight fanfic

Sorry it took so long to update, I just couldn't find a good stopping point. I want to thank everyone for the kind reviews. I hope you like this. I have chapter five planed out, I just have to write it. I will hopefully have it posted by Saturday evening.

Chapter # 4: CAMPING TRIP AND STOLEN CARS

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EDWARD'S POV

It was Thursday, and I was loading our camping supplies into Alice's car. She was driving us to Charlie's so we could spend the night and get an early start on our camping trip.

I wasn't to thrilled with the idea, but Nessie was enthused. Bella, who hates camping, has even started looking forward to the trip. But her happiness was caused by spending time with Charlie and not the actual camping.

Even though I really didn't want to go, I was determined to have a good time. Or at least pretend to. I knew how important it was for Bella and Nessie to spend as much time with Charlie as possible, since we would be moving soon.

Charlie knew a little about us. He knew we didn't eat, he knew we didn't sleep, and he knew we didn't age. But he did not know we were Vampires. The ageing part he found out when he cornered me one day and demanded to know if his Granddaughter was going to die of old age before she turned twelve. That was when she was ageing quickly.

I read his thoughts and knew that he was worried sick about Nessie, whom he had come to love very much. So I explained to him that she would stop aging when she reached maturity. I had thought that Dad was going to be angry with me for telling him, we weren't supposed to tell humans anything like that.

But Dad understood. He said Charlie had the right to know that his Granddaughter was safe and healthy.

Charlie also knew that Nessie was Bella and my biological daughter, this he figured out all on his own. He said that she had the same mischievous grin and musical giggle that Bella had at her age.

Charlie was curious, I knew that for a fact. His mind was filled with questions. But he never asked them, he respected our privacy. From reading his mind, I knew that he was willing to be left in the dark about a lot of things. As long as Bella and Nessie were happy.

He was also real good about playing along with our charade. In private, Nessie was his granddaughter. In public, she was my adoptive sister. In public, she was the adoptive daughter of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

I closed Alice's trunk, then headed back into the house. Smiling when I saw what was going on.

Emmett was holding Nessie upside down, his massive hands wrapped securely around her waist. He was taking her around so she could hug and kiss everyone goodbye, giggling the whole time.

He stopped in front of the chair Dad was sitting in and dangled the giggling child in front of him. Chuckling, Dad hugged her and kissed her upside down cheek.

"That's everyone." Emmett said. "No one left."

"Hey!" Rosalie protested, as she walked over to them. "What about me?"

"I don't know." Emmett said, sounding uncertain. He held Nessie up higher so her upside down face was even with his, causing her to squeal with laughter. "Do you want to give your mean Aunt Rosie a hug?"

Before she could answer, Emmett started twisting her body back and forth. "Sorry, Rosie." He said. "She's shaking her head no. In fact, she's shaking her whole body no."

"Give me my niece." Rosalie said, glaring at her husband.

"No." Emmett replied, lifting my daughter over his head as high as he could reach. Nessie was still laughing hard. "Hey Jazz man, let's play keep away."

"Don't you dare throw my Granddaughter in this house young man." Dad said, sternly. "Take her outside and throw her."

"Yeah!" Nessie exclaimed.

"Your Uncles can toss you around later, Baby." I said laughing at my Brother's antics. "It's time to go."

"Okay Daddy."

Emmett lowered her, then hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "You be careful munchkin." He said. Then he handed her to Rose, who also hugged and kissed her. Then she sat the little girl down on her own feet.

"Don't forget Eddie." Jasper said. "If Charlie has a shovel with him, you'd better run."

"For the last time." Bella said, trying to glare at Jasper. But the smile on her face belied her anger. "Charlie is not going to shoot Edward and bury him in the woods. A bullet wouldn't even penetrate his skin."

"We've got bets on how Charlie plans on getting rid of him." Emmett said. "I'm betting Charlie asks him to check out a noise in an old cave, then throw a stick of dynamite into the cave."

"You've been watching Looney Tunes again, haven't you?" Alice asked him, shaking her head.

"What's your bet?" Dad asked Jasper.

"Dad!" I protested.

"A nice simple decapitation." Jasper answered, ignoring my protest.

"Jake thinks he's going to tie some huge rocks to him and toss him in the lake." Emmett supplied.

"Seth thinks Charlie's going to simply leave him stranded in the woods." Jasper added. "After putting a bullet in both knee caps."

"Hey, Dad." Emmett said. "You want in on the bet?"

"Alright, it's time to go." I said, picking up Nessie and heading towards the door. "I so do not want to hear Dad's idea."

STILL EDWARDS'S POV

A few minutes later, we were in Alice's car and heading towards Charlie's. Alice was driving and Bella was sitting up front with her. I was in the back seat with Renesmme.

"Okay, Sweetie." I said, turning sideways so I was facing my daughter. "Time to review the rules."

Nessie groaned, but looked at me.

I knew she knew the rules, but I also knew that she was still a small child. I knew that repeating the rules made them stick better.

"You are my brother and Momma is my sister-in-law." She said. "Grandma is my Mom and Grandpa Carlisle is my Daddy."

"That's right, honey." I praised her. I hated having her lie to people, but it was necessary. Bella and I looked too young to have a daughter as old as Nessie looked. We had to keep up the charade in order to protect the family.

"If the damn humans would mind their own business, we wouldn't have to go through this shit." Nessie said, then gasped in shock and clamped both of her small hands over her mouth.

I stared at her, also in shock. Bella whirled her head around to glare at our daughter and Alice starred at her in the review mirror.

"Renesmme Carla Cullen." I said, sternly.

"I'm sorry Daddy." Her voice was muffled from behind her hands.

"Where did you hear that language?" Bella asked her.

Nessie stayed quiet, but a quick read of her mind confirmed my suspicions. "Emmett and Jacob." I said.

"That's not fair Daddy." Nessie said, lowering her hands.

"Pull over the car for a moment, please Alice." I said.

"No." Nessie pleaded. "Please don't stop Aunt Alice."

"I'm sorry sweet pea." Alice said sadly, as she pulled over to the side of the road. "But Edward, this isn't her fault. Emmett and Jake had no right saying those things in front of her. She's just a little kid."

"She's old enough to know that those words are not allowed." Bella told Alice. "Aren't you Renesmme?"

"Yes Ma'am." Nessie said quietly.

"Renesmme." I said sternly, as I reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Emmett and Jake are a lot older then you, and sometimes they say things that are not appropriate for someone your age to repeat. Your Aunt Alice is correct, they should not say those things in front of you. But if they do, you are not allowed to repeat them. Understood?"

"Yes Sir." She said.

I gently lifted her and placed her face down over my lap. The back seat of a car was not the ideal place to administer a spanking, but it would have to do. I hated having to spank her, but I could not allow her to get away with using fowl language.

I quickly landed five stinging swats over her skirt, causing her to whimper. Then I sat her in my lap and hugged her, kissing the top of her head. The spanking was light, she would only feel the sting for a few minutes, but it was the first time she had ever been in trouble for cursing.

"Next time, you will find out what soap tastes like." I told her, as she nuzzled into my chest.

"I'm sorry, Daddy." She sniffled.

"It's okay, Princess." I assured her. "You've been punished, it's over. You are forgiven."

"Do you forgive me too Momma?" She asked, looking at Bella.

"Of course, my love." Bella smiled, reaching back and gently caressing her face.

"Aunt Alice?" She asked.

"Most effusively yes." Alice said, smiling at the little girl. Then she frowned and said. "But I intend to give those two overgrown goofballs a piece of my mind."

I gently placed Nessie back on the seat and refastened her belt, then Alice pulled back out onto the highway and within a few minutes we were at Charlie's.

Carlisle's pov

I was in my office at home, when I heard a very familiar car pull into the driveway. It was Jake's small red Rabbit. I smiled when I heard the opening and shutting of doors. Jake, Leah, and Seth were a joy to have around. Most of the time.

I would miss them dearly when my family moved, they have become a part of us and I hated giving that up. But we had no choice but to move, people were already asking how we all still looked so young.

"Your favorite werewolves are here!" I heard Jake's booming voice call out.

"Yeah, and Jake's here too!" Leah's voice quickly added.

I closed the patient file I was reading and stood up. I smelled Billy's scent as well as the teens. Billy didn't spend anywhere near the amount of time here as his kids did. But he was also not a stranger around here. It was common for him to call for a visit.

"Put me down Jacob Black!" Leah's voice shrieked. "Not there!"

"Jacob!" I heard Billy's voice boom. "Don't you dare throw her in that mud."

I didn't hear splashing or screaming, so I figured Jake put Leah down gently and on solid ground.

I left my office and walked downstairs, just as Billy and the three wolves were entering the house. Seth was smiling, Leah was glaring at Jake, and Jake looked chastised.

"How do you two do it without going insane?" Billy asked me, as I walked over and stood beside Esme. "Six teenagers under one roof."

"We have Nessie." Esme replied. "She helps us keep them in line."

"I think I might need to kidnap her." Billy said. "She can teach these three how to act."

"Hey!" Seth protested. "I didn't do anything."

"Would you like some coffee, Billy?" Esme asked with a chuckle. "And I have homemade peach cobbler, just took it out of the oven ten minutes ago."

"That sounds marvelous." Billy smiled.

Esme loved to cook, something she really didn't know about until the three wolves started spending so much time here. She had started cooking for them just because that was the caring kind of person she was. But she quickly learned that she loved to cook and bake. Now it was not uncommon for her to take a few dozen of freshly baked cookies to the reservation.

Most of her baking creations contained Splenda instead of regular sugar, since Billy was a diabetic and was not supposed to consume sugar. But apparently no one could tell the difference, everyone loved her cooking.

"It sure does sound marvelous." Jake said.

"And who said you get any young man?" Esme asked him with a mock stern look. "You were going to throw my sweet Leah into the mud."

"But I didn't." Jake looked at her with pleading eyes. "And I'm starving. Dad refuses to feed me."

"Boy." Billy said, shaking his head. "You've had bacon, eggs, biscuits, two hamburgers, and a bag of chips already today. And it's only eleven in the morning."

"See." Jake said, sounding sad. "He's starving me."

"Should we give him some cobbler?" Esme asked Billy.

"I suppose." Billy said, acting like he didn't really want to.

A few minutes later, Billy and the three ware wolf teens were eating cobbler. Billy was drinking coffee and the others had milk. They were sitting around the kitchen counter. Esme and I were standing at the end of the counter. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were also in the kitchen.

"This is delicious, Esme." Billy said.

"Thank you, Billy." Esme smiled. "I found the recipe in one of Carlisle's medical magazines.

"Aww!" Jake groaned. "Why did you have to say that? That means it's actually healthy for you."

"It wouldn't hurt you to eat healthier, young man." Billy told him.

"I think you should put him on a diet." Rosalie said. "Make him eat nothing but broccoli and Brussels sprouts."

"You're the one who needs to diet." Jake responded. "Maybe you should switch to some more slender deer, you're starting to grow a spare tire."

"You should know about spare tires." Rose said hotly. "Since your head is full of the same thing a tire is."

"Enough!" I said sternly, silencing Jake's come back. "Don't you two start."

Rosalie and Jacob were constantly arguing with one another, but they also stood up for one another. They had a very strange relationship.

My cell phone rung and I pulled it out of my pocket, still giving the two squabbling teens a stern look.

"Hello Matt." I said into the receiver, after checking the caller ID. It was Matt Dryer, another doctor.

"Hey, Carlisle." He sounded frustrated and tired. "I hate to ask this on your day off, but can you cover my rounds this afternoon?"

"Sure." I replied. "Anything wrong?"

"My car was stolen a few minutes ago." He replied. "I'm waiting on Charlie now to file a report."

We talked a few more moments, then we hung up. I explained what had happened to the others.

"He had a sweet ride too." Emmett said. "He'll probably never see that car again."

We heard a car pull up and Jasper smiled, it was Alice.

"In the kitchen, Alice." Esme called out when we heard the front door open.

Alice stormed into the room and walked right past Jasper, who held his arms out in greeting. Then my small pixie daughter walked over to Emmett, whom looked like a giant next to her, and kicked him hard in the shin.

"OWWW!" Emmett exclaimed, as he rubbed his shin. "What was that about?"

Alice didn't answer him. But she did walk over to Jake and slapped him hard in the back of the head.

"Hey!" Jake rubbed his sore head and jumped up.

Both boys were standing in front of her now, glaring at her. She looked so small and fragile in front of the large boys, but she wasn't backing down. She just returned their glare.

"Mary Alice Cullen." I scolded, walking over and gently grabbing her shoulder. I spun her around so that she was facing me. "Why did you just kick Emmett and hit Jake?"

"Jake deserved to have some sense knocked into him." Alice said, crossing her thin arms across her chest. "So does Emmett, but I can't reach his big head."

"Young lady, you know better than to act like this." I scolded. "Now what could they have possibly done to deserve you hitting and kicking them?"

"They caused Nessie to get hit." Alice exclaimed.

"What?" I asked confused, I knew I was missing something here. "Who hit Renesmme?"

"Edward."

"Edward would never hit his daughter." I sighed, emphasizing the word hit.

"Well, maybe hit was too strong of a word." Alice said, sounding uncertain now. She took an involuntary step back once she saw the glare I was giving her. "I…it was more like five swats over her skirt."

"Let me get this straight." I said, as Jasper walked over and put an arm around his mate. I knew he was trying to calm her down some more and show her his support at the same time. "Edward spanked his daughter, and you blame Emmett and Jake for it."

"It's their fault." Alice said quietly.

"How is it our fault?" Emmett asked, his glare gone. So was Jake's. Nessie had those two wrapped around her little finger and both seemed upset that they were somehow responsible for the little girl getting spanked.

"Sweet Pea repeated some words she heard you two say. " Alice said, as she turned to glare at them. But when she saw the looks of devastation on their faces, the glare vanished.

"You were cursing in front of Nessie?" Billy asked his son, giving him his own glare.

"Yes Sir." Jake replied, looking at the floor. Emmett also had his head hung down. I knew both boys felt real bad about Renesmee getting in trouble.

"You two need to watch what you say in front of Nessie." I scolded them lightly. "She is a little kid and she repeats things. Especially things said by you two, she looks up to you."

"We're really sorry." Emmett said. Then he looked at Alice and bent over. "Here, you have my permission to knock some sense into my head."

"Hit his head, and I hit your backside." I warned Alice, as she took a step towards her brother.

"But…" Alice started, but I raised a hand to silence her. "Emmett and Jake should not have said whatever they said in front of Nessie, but she is at fault here too. She did not have to repeat it. Nessie is old enough to know better."

"Yes Sir." Alice said, clearly not happy.

"And you are more than old enough to know better than to hit people who do something you don't like." I scolded her. "Go and wait for me in my office."

"But Daaaadyyy!" She whined.

"Come on Dad, it's okay." Emmett said, coming to his sister's defense. "We kinda deserved it."

"Yeah, Carlisle." Jake agreed. "And besides, she hits like a girl anyway. It didn't hurt."

I had four teens giving me pleading looks. Alice, Emmett, Jake, and Jasper.

I sighed and said. "Since your victims are pleading your case for you, I'll let this slid." Then my voice grew stern as I added. "But next time, you will have a very sore bottom."

"Yes Sir." Then she looked at her defenders with a bashful expression. "Sorry." She mumbled. "I know it wasn't your fault, well not entirely your fault."

A low chuckle brought everyone's attention to Billy. He was smiling and shaking his head slightly.

"Something funny?" I asked him.

"This just reminded me of something that happened about fifteen years ago." Billy said. "Jake was just two-years-old at the time."

"I wanna hear it." Alice said, excitedly. "I'd love to hear about baby Jakey."

"No you don't." Jake said quickly.

"We all want to hear about baby Jakey." Leah said with a smile.

"Yeah." Emmett agreed. "We want to hear about baby Jakey."

"It was before my beloved wife, Rebecca, passed away." Billy said. "Bella was visiting Charlie, she was four at the time. Charlie and me took the kids fishing. We went to Ernie's bait shop, and well Ernie is kinda strange. While we were talking to him, he dropped a box he was holding. He glared at the box and said….." Billy stopped talking and looked around the room. "Please excuse the language Ladies. He said fuck a duck."

That brought a few snickers and head shaking. In all of my three hundred plus years, I had never heard that particular expression before.

"Jake was looking at some fake worms and wasn't paying Ernie any attention. But apparently Bella was. A few minutes later, Bella dropped her fishing pole. She put her small hands on her little hips and stomped her foot. Then exclaimed quit loudly the same colorful phase."

"I am going to have fun with Bella when she returns from her camping trip." Rose laughed.

"Jake stared at her for a few seconds." Billy continued his story. "Then started shouting fuck duck at the top of his lungs over and over again. Bella thought it was hilarious and started giggling, which made Jake start shouting even louder."

"See." Jake said, giving us his best sad eyes. "I told you that Bella was a bad influence."

"Charlie and me were in trouble." Billy said. "If Rebecca came home to find her baby son cursing, then Charlie and I were dead. Jake just kept up his two word monolog and Bella kept giggling. We couldn't really punish Jake, he was only two. And we didn't feel right punishing Bella, it wasn't her fault that she thought it was funny.

So Charlie and I did something we were not proud of. We bribed Bella with candy. We told her that if she stopped giggling when Jake said that, then we would buy her three whole candy bars."

"You gave three candy bars to a four-year-old?" I asked him, shaking my head. "That was not a very good idea."

"Tell me about it." Billy sighed. "The bribe did work though. Bella quit giggling whenever Jake cursed, she turned kinda bluish a couple times holding in the laughter. After a little while, Jake lost interest since he wasn't getting any attention. And Bella got her candy. So of course we had to give Jake candy too.

Rebecca came home to find two little kids running wild through the house, both of their faces covered in chocolate. She gave Charlie and me a very disapproving look. Then Bella came tearing into the room at full speed and ran right smack into the wall, knocking her onto her little rear. She stood up, glared at the wall, and placed her hands on her hips."

There were a few chuckles around the room, we all could guess what happened next.

"Bella said that phrase and Jake started laughing. Then Jake started his two word monolog again, as he continued to run around the house." Billy said, glaring at his son. The room erupted in laughter

We sat around for a couple more hours talking and enjoying each other's company, then I excused myself and left for the hospital. Matt called me again and said that he only needed me there for a couple hours, then he would be there.

It was an uneventful two hours, and soon I was walking back out to my car. I walked to my parking spot and stared in surprised when I found the spot empty. My car was gone, someone had stolen my Mercedes. The same Mercedes that I had completely detailed less then a month ago.

"Well fuck a duck." I mumbled. I very rarely cursed, but it seemed appropriate at this moment.