Welcome To The Cullen Family Chapter 5: Campfire Stories And Borrowed Bait, a twilight fanfic

I apologize for the delay in posting. I will try my best to post more often, things just got kinda hectic there for a while.

I want to think Alex for letting me know about my spelling mistakes, I apologize for that. I will try to be more observant with the rest of the story.

To answer Spawn's question. I plan on making Carlisle the main disciplinarian, but Esme will also take matters into her own hands when Carlisle's not around. I've never been a major fan of that "wait till your Father gets home" attitude.

Chapter # 5: campfire stories and borrowed bait

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EDWARD'S POV

We were currently riding down a bumpy dirt road, heading towards what Charlie called the perfect camping spot. Charlie sat behind the wheel of an ancient pickup truck he borrowed from one of his friends, it was almost as old as the one he bought off of Billy for Bella when she first moved to forks.

Bella sat beside him and I sat on the passenger side. Renesmee sat in the tiny backseat.

"Are we there yet, Grandpa Charlie?" Nessie asked.

I knew she was bored, I was bored as well. We had been on the same rode for the past hour, and Charlie was driving at a steady thirty miles an hour.

It took all of my patience not to toss him aside and take over the driving. I was not used to going this slow.

"Almost Honey." Charlie said. "I know it's a long ride, but it's worth it."

Bella smiled and I knew she was up to something, at times I really wished I could read her beautiful mind. She turned her head and winked at our daughter.

"Are we there yet, Dad?" Bella asked in a whiney voice.

"Don't you dare start that." Charlie warned.

"Start what?" Bella asked innocently.

"Grandpa, Charlie." Nessie whined. "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, Dad." Bella said. "Are we there yet?"

"Isabella!" Charlie turned to glare at her, but I read in his mind that he thought it was funny.

"Are we there yet, Charlie?" I asked, not being able to resist.

"The next person who asks that will walk the rest of the way." Charlie declared.

"Ask what?" Nessie asked.

"Are we there yet." Charlie answered.

"Uh oh." Nessie said, sadly. "Looks like Grandpa Charlie has to walk the rest of the way. He was the next one to say it."

"She's right, Charlie." I laughed.

"Well then, it's a good thing were here." Charlie said, also laughing. "That was a good one, Honey."

He pulled the truck to a stop in a large clearing surrounded by woods on three sides. The fourth side was a large lake.

"It was worth the long ride." Nessie said, as we all climbed out of the truck. "It's pretty here."

"It'll be dark in a couple hours." Charlie said. "Let's get the truck unloaded and camp set up."

"Hey look, Nessie." Bella said, as she walked to the back of the truck and pulled out a shovel.

"They were right." My daughter said. "Grandpa Charlie is going to leave him. I wonder which Uncle was right."

I groaned and Charlie gave us a strange look.

"It's a bet my Uncles came up with." Nessie explained to her Grandfather. "They all claim that you're going to try to leave Daddy in the woods and bury him."

"Oh man, they caught on to my plan." Charlie moaned. Then he knelt in front of Nessie and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Thank hard, Honey." He said. "I know they know about my plan, but did any of them object to the idea?"

"Well." Nessie said, placing a small fingertip on her chin and acting like she was deep in thought. "There was a lot of talk about ways you could do it." Then she smiled and said. "But no one objected to it."

"Hey." I protested, standing behind my wife as if using her for a shield. "I'm sure someone objected."

"No Daddy." Nessie said, shaking her head. "Not one of them."

"Interesting." Charlie smiled, looking at me.

"Come on, Princess." I said, "Surly my big brother Emmett objected." I added a lot of emphasis on the word 'big'.

"No Daddy." She giggled. "He said he had dibs on your new stereo."

"Hey." Bella protested. "I'm the wife, the stereo is mine."

"I want my Mommy." I whined, causing the other three to laugh.

JASPER'S POV

I was sitting on the sofa, reading, when Emmett and Jake walked into the room. Both were smiling broadly and I immediately got an uneasy feeling.

"Hey Jazz man." Emmett said. "Up for some fun?"

"No thank you." I replied, trying to return my attention back to the book. "Your fun always ends badly."

"Not this time." Jake said. "It's foolproof."

"Even for you two fools?" I asked.

"Come on, Jazz." Emmett said. "Hear us out."

I knew they wouldn't leave me alone until I at least listened to the plan. So I laid the book down and looked at them, swearing to myself that I would not get sucked into this plan. No matter what.

"We've got a way to get Dad's car back." Emmett said, with a proud smile.

"It's brilliant." Jake said, also smiling.

"Care to share this brilliant plan?" I asked.

"We set a trap." Emmett said, as if it was the best plan ever thought of.

"A trap?" I asked.

"Yep." Emmett replied. "We leave a car sitting all by itself, then stake it out. When the thief tries to steal it, we grab him. Place him under a citizen's arrest."

"Actually." I said, a little surprised. "That is a good plan."

"Told you so." Jake said.

"Only one problem." I said.

"What problem?" Emmett wanted to know.

"The bait." I said. "None of our vehicles are high end modes of transportation. I doubt the thief would bother."

"We thought of that." Emmett said proudly. "Alice is with Rose in Port Angeles and will be all day, probably all night too. So we use the Porsche."

"The Porsche?" I asked, really hoping that I misheard him. "Alice's Porsche?"

"Yeah." Jake said.

"No way." I said, shaking my head.

"Come on, man." Jake said. "We won't let the car get hurt, and Alice will be so happy that we got Carlisle's car back that she won't be mad at us."

"Nope." I said, shaking my head again and standing up. "No way, no how. There is not a speck of a chance that I will let you two half wits anywhere near my Alice's car."

Edward's pov

We were sitting on tree logs around a blazing campfire. Renesmee was sitting in Charlie's lap, he was showing her how to make smores. His large hands were wrapped securely around her small ones, as she held a long stick. The other end of the stick held a large marshmallow that was currently on fire.

"Now you have to be very careful." He explained, as we watched the flames die out. "You have to make sure that the fire is completely out before placing the marshmallow on the chocolate and graham crackers."

He helped her construct the smore, then smiled as she took a bite of it.

"It's delicious." Nessie exclaimed, as she shoved another bite into her mouth.

"This brings back memories, doesn't it Bells?" Charlie asked, smiling at his daughter.

"Yes it does." Bella said, returning the smile. "I remember sitting in your lap as you explained the fine art of campfire cooking." Then she laughed and said. "Remember that time our whole pack of marshmallows were stolen by a raccoon?"

"Yeah." Charlie laughed. "You asked me if the raccoon was going to make smores for its children."

"Hey, I was only six at the time." Bella defended herself.

"I remember the snake incident." Charlie laughed.

"You can forget that one." Bella mumbled.

"What snake incident?" I asked, trying not to laugh. I saw the whole thing through Charlie's mind, but still wanted it said out loud.

"Don't you dare, Dad." Bella said, with pleading eyes.

"Come on, Bells." Charlie said. "It's funny, and I think Nessie will enjoy the story."

"Yeah." Nessie said, smiling. "I want to hear about Momma as a kid."

Bella sighed.

"Your Momma was about seven." Charlie said, as he hugged his granddaughter to his chest. "We were fishing. Well I was fishing, Bells was trying to scare the fish away. She was a few yards away, standing near the water. Then all of a sudden, she screamed at the top of her lungs. I dropped my pole and ran towards her.

"She started back peddling fast, which was not a good idea with her lack of coordination. She tripped on her own feet, then started rolling back towards the lake. Which made her scream louder. She had just hit the water, when I reach her and scooped her up.

"I quickly checked her for injuries but didn't see anything. It took me a couple minutes to get her to calm down enough to tell me what scared her. She said there was a huge anaconda in the lake coming after her. I looked into the water and saw her anaconda, it was an old rotted tree log."

Nessie and I both burst out laughing, and Bella slumped down.

"A tree log scared you?" Nessie asked her mother with a laugh.

"It was a big log." Bella grumbled.

"Then there was the time when Bells was eight and I took her to the McDonald's play room." Charlie said.

"Daaaaaad!" Bella moaned.

I scooted closer to my wife and wrapped my arms around her, she leaned into my chest and sighed. I knew she was embarrassed, but these stories were very funny.

"She climbed to the very top and got her shoe stuck." Charlie said. "The structure was too flimsy for me to crawl up there and get her, but luckily there was a very skinny twelve-year-old girl there. She crawled to the top and helped Bella get unstuck. Then Bells started to crawl back down, and missed a step. She ended up hanging over the side of the tubes, upside down. Her Tom And Jerry panties on display. But this time she was close enough that all I had to do was reach up and grab her."

"Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jake were right." Nessie said. "Momma was a walking disaster."

Charlie laughed, but there an edge to his laughter. He was wondering how his once extremely clumsy daughter was now very graceful and athletic. But he didn't voice his question, he knew that it was just one more of the things that he had to accept.

"I wasn't that bad." Bella defended herself.

"Oh really?" Charlie asked. "How about when you were fourteen and fell out of a sand castle?"

"How did you fall out of a sand castle?" Nessie asked in a surprised voice.

"It was a big sand castle." Bella mumbled.

Jasper's pov

I'm an idiot, that's the only explanation I could come up with. Why else would I be standing on a rooftop in the middle of town, staring at my Alice's car parked three floors below? I was an idiot.

I still couldn't believe I let those three morons talk me into this. Yes three, they enlisted the help of Seth.

"Man, I never stakeouts were so boring." Emmett moaned.

I glanced over to him, taking my eyes off of Alice's car for the first time since we climbed to the roof two hours earlier. He was flipping through a magazine. Jacob was leaning against a large heat and ac unit, eating a candy bar. And Seth was staring at a group of young women walking on the sidewalk, at the opposite end of the building we were standing on.

"Hey!" I shouted, gaining their attention. "We are supposed to watching the car."

"Dude, we have been watching the car." Emmett said. "We're just taking a break."

"If you take your eyes off of that care one more time." I hissed. "I will give you a break!"

"Ohhh, Jazzy is a little testy." Jake said with a grin.

Before I could respond, Seth whistled to get our attention. "Take a look." He called out.

We looked to where he was pointing and saw a man in a hooded sweater trying to open a car door using a wire coat hanger.

"Alright." Emmett said, "Now we see some action."

"Not very smart trying to steal a car out in the open like that." I said, noticing several people walking by the man. the man turned around and we got a good look at his face.

"That's just Mike Newton." Jake groaned. "And that's his own car. The dumbass must have locked his keys inside."

"Okay." I sighed. "Everyone's eyes on the Porsche, we can't let it out of our sights."

"Umm, slight problem there Jazz." Emmett said.

I looked at the spot where he was looking, at the spot where I parked Alice's car. At an empty spot. While we were watching Mike trying to break into his own car, someone stole Alice's car. I was so dead.

I will post more as soon as I can. Hope you like it.

WARNING: My next chapter will have the spanking of teenage wolves and vampires.