On the way home, all Esme could talk about was babies. Baby this, baby that. I couldn't tell if I was more annoyed by her babble or my stupidity in the fact that I thought she actually shared the same feelings I did. I parked the car outside as she continued to ramble on about how amazing this was and how amazing I was, well, alright to be honest, that part wasn't too terrible. However, on the way up those three flights of stairs an interesting topic came up, how were we going to make this baby?
"Carlisle," she began sounding a bit hesitant, "You know for a fact that I despise needles and anything having to do with my lady doctor…"
"Of course I do," I interrupted with a laugh, "I have to hold you down every time you get a shot and physically drag you to your gynecologist appointments. You'd think after being friends with a doctor for so long you would be used to this by now!"
"Shut up!" her adorable little tongue shot out at me, "Now back to my point, or well I guess another question."
"What now?" I jokingly rolled my eyes.
"And again, I don't know how comfortable you'd be with this…" she shied away from the topic again.
"No, Esme, I will not have the baby for you as well, that physically impossible," I gave her a look of all seriousness.
At that moment she burst out laughing. Her giggles were so uncontrollable that she had to sit down on the stairs. I popped a squat, chuckling along with her. I couldn't help how contagious her laughter was. Esme slung her arms around my neck, like always, and looked into my soul with those gorgeous hazel eyes, and giggled one last time.
"God, I've missed you!" she dropped her head to my chest as I brought her into my arms.
"Now," I replied, "in all seriousness, what excruciatingly uncomfortable question did you need to ask me?"
"Well," Esme lifted her head to meet my gaze, "Carlisle I don't want a test tube baby, that's too risky!"
"What are you saying?" I asked mildly confused, as I lifted her to her feet, and continued the trek to her apartment.
"Just that, there's nothing wrong with the old fashioned way. I'm comfortable with it, and since you do know my lady parts, due to that one belligerently drunk night in college…" she responded, averting my dumb founded gaze, "What I'm saying is…what I'm asking is…will you have sex with me."
Seriously, I thought my heart had stopped. Esme want me to make sweet, sweet love to her, in order to procreate. I must have died. Am I dreaming? In a coma? Pinch me! Nope, still here! YES! However, I had to hide my true feeling, for screaming 'fucking bloody yes' and taking the woman of my dreams in the apartment hallway would not be appropriate, under any circumstances.
"I mean, well, I guess I could, for you of course. Especially since I'm the best you've ever had!" I winked, referencing that the one drunk time we did sleep together I got her to finish, which was the first and only time it had ever happened
"You can't let it go, can you?" Esme shook her head with a giggle.
"And apparently neither can you!" I dodged her punch in the arm, "You are so violent! It must be all that built up sexual tension!"
"Oh, uh huh," she pushed me, "Like you're any better, Mr. I work every night of the week and don't have time to date. When's the last time you had sex?"
"Uhh…pretty recently!" I retorted starting to unlock the door.
"Oh ya, with your right hand!" Esme winked.
"The left actually," I winked back, pulling her into my arms, "So why don't you do us both a favor and stop talking, so we can move this party into the bedroom, couch, floor, table, shower…really anywhere you prefer. What do you say? We'll both feel better."
Esme gave me that sexy lopsided smiled as she bumped open the door with her hip, knowing that there was probably a good chance that if we did have sex tonight, she would probably end up pregnant the next month. Those same slender fingers that played with my hair earlier, were now flicking open the buttons on my shirt. Dang did I actually turn her on! As the door swung open I leaned in to kiss her, and start my wildest fantasy, when the lights inside suddenly turned on.
We snapped our head towards the entrance in shock. There inside her apartment we're all of our best friends, surrounded by party decorations and a banner that read 'Welcome Home Carlisle'. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I dropped Esme. Clearly the feeling was mutual, for she wouldn't have fell if she had some balance. Our poor friends though, they had heard all of our dirty talk, seen all of our advances, caught us in the almost act, and we're probably so confused. I knew this was too good to be true. Bella looked uncomfortable. Edward's eyes darted around the room. Alice looked as if she were going to cry. Jasper couldn't look at us without turning beat red. Being Esme's, best friend, Rosalie simply looked pissed, for not knowing, or what she assumed to not know to be Esme and me, having friendly sexcapades. However, the only person who seemed comfortable with it was Emmett. He stood there with a party hat on his head and a goofy grin on his face. At that moment Emmett and I made eye contact, and he began a slow clap.
"Dang Cullen, congrats on finally bangin' your best friend. I knew it was only a matter of time!"
Shit.