My Yearning Heart

Chapter 5

The Truth

Ugh! I feel like shit again. I might have gone a little too far with the drinks. But… I feel better. I'm never gonna do that again, but it was definitely worth it. I can see why people do that to rid themselves of their worries. It definitely worked for me even though it kind of kicked my ass in the end. Wait, where am I? I must be sleeping. I better not be on the floor of the bar still. I opened my eyes very slowly and immediately saw someone right in my face. It took me a second to gain full consciousness, but when I did, it felt like this person was kissing me. I quickly threw them off and sat up. I was on a bed. I looked around the room. This wasn't my room. Wait, who is this person? Suddenly, they switched on the light and I gasped in shock. It was Yang.

"Hi Alex, how are you feeling?" I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say. Where was I? Why is she here? What does she think she's doing? "Your lips are so soft. I couldn't hold back the urge. I wanted to experience them for myself. I hope you don't mind." That's when I snapped.

"Of course I mind. You just kissed me. What the hell is going through your head?! You're a high school student and I'm an adult. This being totally irresponsible." I had to pause to collect myself. I still needed to ask one important question. "Where am I?"

"You're at Great Times Bar. You collapsed last night and I brought you to the back so you could rest."

"Wait, what?! You brought me here. Why are you even here? It's illegal for minors to be in a bar like this."

"Well, my dad's friend owns this place and he always lets me hang around here. And plus, this is technically my room you're in right now." My eyes widened as I jumped off the bed

"You know what, I don't even care anymore. I'm leaving." I grabbed my bag and tried to make my way to the front of the store when my wrist was grabbed from behind. I turned slowly to see Yang looking at me with big eyes and a serious face. "Let me go Yang."

"Didn't you read my letter?" I was falling into her trap with no escape route. I had tough it out and tell it to her straight.

"Yang, you're a student and I'm a teacher. No matter how you think about it, we could never be a thing."

"What are you talking about? Of course we can."

"Are you stupid?! You're already dating my own daughter and you should consider yourself lucky that I don't tell her about this little incident."

"But…"

"No, I don't want to hear any more from you. I will be completely honest with you, and this is coming from the bottom of my heart. I will never be able to return your feelings. I'm sorry." All of a sudden, her grip on my wrist was broken and I was able to escape. I quickly left the bar and returned home.

On the way home, I realized that I had returned to reality. Problems and worries continued to pile up on me. Peace was never an option for me. Peace is just an abstract idea that humans can never achieve.

But what was that all about? What was she doing there? Was that really her room or was that part of her act? I can't believe she kissed me in my most vulnerable state. I mean, how low can you get? That's just unforgivable. What does she hope to gain by all of this? I'm an adult and she's a student. It's wrong so why am I still thinking about this? It should done and put away somewhere where I can never find it again. Yet… I want to think about it. Why? When I got home, I lazily walked through the front door where Blake was right there to welcome me back. She wrapped her arms around my body and squeezed me tight.

"Oh my gosh, I was so worried about you. I wasn't sure if you were coming back or if you were hurt or what, I don't know. I'm just glad you're home." I smiled and hugged her back. I guess I'm the daughter in this situation.

"I'm sorry. I had to clear my head. I take full responsibility for my horrible behavior."

"I don't care about that. You're safe and that's all that matters." She's definitely the mother right now.

"I'm gonna head to room if you want to let go of me." She shook her head. She stayed where she was and wasn't going to move for anything so we shifted across the house until we finally made it to my room. There, she finally let go of me and jumped onto my bed. "What are you doing Blake?"

"We're gonna talk about what you were doing last night." I laughed. This was really happening and there was nothing I could do. I walked over to my bed where I sat next to her and awaited her questions. "So where were you, young lady?" She sat up straight and had a stern voice so I decided to play the part.

"I was at Great Times Bar. I was trying to clear my mind and I got a little carried away. I'm sorry for worrying you." She crossed her arms and looked away. I think this was where the silent treatment starts so I decided to climb to the other side of the bed and wrap my arms around her neck and hug her. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." she turned her head and peeked her eyes at me.

"I'll forgive you… if you take me shopping." She jumped out of bed with a huge smile on her face.

"But I just got home." She immediately returned to how she was before. I had to let her have her way with me or else this would go on forever. "Alright. Get in the car."

"Woo! Okay, I forgive you." I mustered up what strength I had and inched my way to the car. This was definitely going to be a long day, but I had to put up with it. It was my fault for bringing this upon Blake so it only makes sense to make it up to her.

When we got to the mall, there was no break time. She pulled my out of the car and dragged me through the endless hallways of the shopping mall. She didn't have a goal or anything so a lot of our time was spent just wandering around, hoping she would find some store that would catch her attention. For me, it was horrible. I was so dead and could barely walk. I was just surprised that I was able to do the things I was doing. I guess this was where the "power of the mom" kicked into gear.

Finally, she found a place and pulled me in. I didn't care what it was. I just wanted this to be all over. She grabbed everything she could find and went into the fitting room. This was probably the only time I was given a rest. I found a chair next to the fitting room and tried my best to enjoy those few seconds I had. Unfortunately, it only made it worse. Before I shut my eyes, I spotted someone walking passed the store. She was staring right at me which caused me to look back at her. It was Yang.

There was no way she was following me. It's just a coincidence. Just forget about it. Everything will be alright. I shook my head to clear it out and when I looked back up, she was gone. I took a sigh of relief and leaned back in my chair. Right as I did, Blake ran ready to buy whatever she had. I quickly took her to the cash register and did the rest of the business. Surprisingly, that was it. She hugged my arm and said that we could go home. I wanted to scream to the heavens, but I didn't have that kind of energy. I simply smiled and we went home for the day.

When we got home, I immediately stormed off to my room where I slammed my face into my pillow and tried to remain perfectly still. Although my body was starting to relax, my mind was still wandering.

Yang. She kissed me, and in my most vulnerable state. Why would she do that? Isn't she dating Blake? I understand that it wasn't anything serious, but let's be real. She's a high school student and I'm a grown woman. What does she hope to gain by stealing a kiss from me? All of this thinking was too much. I turned my head to look at the time and saw that it was getting pretty late. I climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I turned on the shower and waited until it was nice and hot. When I got in, the thoughts just kept on coming. I wanted them to go away, but I had a feeling that that just wouldn't be possible.

Ever since Blake introduced me to her that one day, these strange things have happened. There can't be a correlation between those two, can there?

I stood underneath the shower head and looked at the floor. Out of nowhere, I raised my hands and placed them on my breasts. It's been so long since I've felt anything in here. It just feels so empty. "What's lost can never be found." I'm starting to believe that saying was true. I then travelled down onto my pelvic area where it was the same story. It's been so long since someone's made me feel good. The last time that happened, the one who I did it ripped out my heart. A tear rolled down my face as I dropped to my knees.

Why do I feel like this? Is there something wrong with me?

End of Chapter 5