My Yearning Heart

Chapter 9

Have Things Returned to Normal?

The next week of school came around and it started off just like any other week. I woke up on time, enjoyed breakfast with Blake, and walked with her to school. When I got my room, it felt a little cold, but once I settled in, everything felt the way it usually does; almost like my second home. I checked the supplies to make sure I had everything I needed for the students. Once that was over and everything was perfectly in place, I waited for something to happen.

It was weird, in a way. My anxiousness from before left me. I wasn't hoping so much for someone to come visit me, but for something to tell me that I don't need to worry anymore. Yes, there were things that were still on my mind, but they were somehow pushed to the back of my mind. It felt so relieving knowing that things were finally calming down for me.

Out of nowhere, a door slid open and in walked Yang. However, it was different from the times before. She said she was getting a headache so I quickly pulled out some painkiller medication for her and left without saying anything else. Even though I left it in bad terms, it appeared that that little talk we had did something for us. As I watched her enter and exit my room, it was almost as if she was a different person. She had an honest smile on her face with no sign of sadness or pain. I wanted to ask her what was going on with her, but something inside of me said things should be left alone for a while.

During lunch, the usual thing happened. Numerous students barged into my room to greet me for the day. This always managed to put a smile on my face. With things calming down, I was able to strike a few conversations with them. They all talked about classes were getting tougher and how they were worried about when finals come that they won't be able to do well. I simply reassured them that they'd be fine. Worrying too much over something wasn't healthy. That's when something hit me.

I've been like that for these past few days. I worried way too much. I know it was a problem, but I allowed it to take over my life. Looking at these kids and seeing smiles on their faces told me that I needed to behave the same way. Try not get over these things and long for a better tomorrow.

The rest of the week went by and nothing special took place. Yang came into my room every day, but it was a simple visit, asking for some kind of medication. I was tempted to ask why she needed so much medicine, but that wasn't a question I was allowed to ask. As long as she was healthy in my presence, there wasn't much that I could do. Thankfully, whenever her visit to my room came to an end, she gave me a smile and left. The thing about these smiles was that it was a genuine one, unlike the ones she gave me when we first met. It was a simple "thank you for the help" smile. I couldn't get over it. That smile was so cute. It was almost the sun coming over the horizon, giving everyone a fresh new start.

I can deal with this.

…

When the weekend came around, I decided to spend some time with Blake. We got in the car and drove to the nearest theme park. For the both of us, it's been so long since we've been to these kind of places that we didn't hesitate with anything. We bought our tickets and ran through the park without a care in the world. Just to be safe, we started out with some small rollercoasters before going to the main attractions.

Even the small rollercoasters got us pumped. We were acting like kids. As we exited the ride, our voices projected as if we were at the top of the drop. We didn't care. We were having fun and that was all that mattered. Once we were warmed up, we made our way to the biggest rollercoaster there, holding the record for the highest and fastest drop. On the way up, she couldn't help but look down and see how high this truly got. I wasn't a huge fan of heights, but I couldn't feel a thing. I guess being with Blake made it easier on me. When we arrived at the top, everyone stuck their arms into the air and enjoyed the craziest ride of their lives.

After that ride, we felt like all of our energy was drained. That was definitely the craziest ride I've ever been on. We looked at each other and had the same idea: Food. We went to the nearest food stand and took a little bit of a break. We tried to avoid the topic of school so all that was left was gossip and other girl things that I don't want to go into detail about.

Once we finished our food, we walked around the park to make sure nothing came out of us when we continued with the rides. Surprisingly, the place was huge. Apparently, they did some remodeling to make this place more of a landmark, and it definitely showed. Back when I was younger, this place only had like 4 rides, but now, there's more than a dozen of them. Times have changed and it was kind of making me feel old, seeing all of this new stuff.

As the day went on, we finished up our lists of rides with just enough to leave the park without dealing with the traffic. As we left, I saw a huge smile on Blake's face which nearly made me cry. I loved her smile more than anything. That was the one thing in this world that I wish I could keep. Blake's smile was so sweet and something that I could never forget. With that etched in my head, we headed off to dinner in the city. Since things were going so well, I decided to take Blake to her favorite restaurant. Unfortunately, she has expensive taste so my purse definitely got lighter at the end of the day. But I didn't care. Only time would tell if I was doing the right thing, and from the looks of it, I was succeeding.

When we finished dinner, we decided to head back home. On the way back, Blake crashed in the front seat. Apparently, we just had way too much fun. We pulled up the house and carried her in my arms. I took her up to her room and laid her down on her bed. I pulled the blankets over her body and brushed her hair out of her face.

"I love you Blake. Please don't ever change. At least when I'm here with you." I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Good night sweety." I left her room and decided to go out to the backyard. When I looked up at the sky, I saw a beautiful full moon. Its light was so bright that I could nearly feel it hit my face. I closed my eyes and breathed in the lovely night air. "Tonight was the best night I've had in ages. Thank you so much for giving this to me." I turned around and sat down on the pool chair, still looking up towards the sky.

I know peace can never be achieved, but today was definitely the closest I could ever get. With the help of my daughter, I feel that I can handle anything now. It's such a weird feeling; that feeling of self and what it can do. I feel like a totally new person. I got up from the chair and returned to my room for the night. I took a nice, long shower, still thinking about how fun today was. Once that was over, I grabbed my pajamas and jumped into bed with a smile on my face.

Have things really returned to normal?

End of Chapter 9