My Yearning Heart
Chapter 12
The Recurring Question
Note: Here's another update for you guys. I made some changes to my schedule, but I think everything should be final about now so without further ado, please enjoy the story.
Yang walked in slowly and closed the door behind her. She found a seat on a bed and I slid my chair over to that side of the room. When I caught my first glance at her, I could tell that she was nervous. I didn't know why she was nervous, but I did know that there was something going on in her head and I was determined to find out what it was.
"Do you know why I called you in here?"
"Have… Have you finally changed your mind about me?" I didn't have the patience for this so I immediately raised my voice.
"No, that's not why I brought you in here. I wanted to know why you did it."
"Did what?" It was so hard to keep up this conversation. It was obvious that she had other things going on in her head and my conversation with her was just some side note that she didn't give her full attention to.
"You don't know? How about the thing that caused my daughter to be in heartbreak for most of the night last night? You don't remember that?" She turned her head away from me.
"Why are you asking this of me? This has nothing to do with you. You're just a school nurse."
"Yes, I may be a school nurse, but I'm also a parent and it's my job to care about my daughter. What you did to her was horrible?"
"What are you asking me to do? Give my heart to someone who I don't even love. I can't lie to myself. I think that's even worse than lying to someone else. I'm sorry I hurt Blake, but my heart belongs to someone else." I was waiting for her to say that. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit.
"Yang, did you break up with Blake because you still have feelings for me?"
"Isn't it obvious? I have feelings for you that I can't explain. Why can't you see that? Love doesn't lie. For the first time in my life, I'm being honest with my feelings. And they're telling me that you're the one for me."
"Yang, I've already told you this multiple times. You and I can never be a thing."
"You keep saying that, but I don't see the problem with it. I'll be 18 soon so there won't a problem."
"That's not what I'm talking about. You still have so much of life to live. I can't be the one to hold you back. I've got my own problems to deal with. This just has to stop."
"I'm sorry, Alex, but I can't stop myself. You're just too perfect to leave alone." She suddenly got up from the bed and started to walk towards me. At the same time, I got up from my chair and started to back. However, it was no use. She kept on coming towards me until I was pinned up against the wall.
"Please stop this. I'm tired. I can't let this go on."
"Of course you can. I don't mind." She put her body awfully close to mine as she put her hand on my cheek. I tried pushing her away, but she was being persistent. I then turned my head away, but she forced it back towards her. At that moment, she stole another kiss from me. I couldn't believe it. After some struggling, I finally pulled her off. Unfortunately, when I pulled her off, I saw that the door was open behind her. I focused my attention on the door and saw that it was Blake standing there with a blank look on her face.
"Blake, I…" She ran off without saying anything. I pushed Yang away and tried running after her, but I was too late. By the time I got to the door, she had already vanished. "It's not what it looked like. I swear." My words meant nothing since she wasn't there to hear them. After that, I forcibly drove Yang out of room so that I could spend the rest of the day by myself.
For lunch, I kept my door closed. I could hear all of the regular students outside waiting for me to open the door. Unfortunately, today just wasn't the day for that. There was too much going on for me to put on a smile for everyone. I had to do something. When lunch was about to finish, I exited my room to try and find Blake. I looked all over school, but couldn't find her. I asked some of her friends, but they were unsure of where she was as well. When class resumed, I was forced back to my room. I waited with urgency until the final bell rang, allowing me to return home. I grabbed my stuff and ran home as fast as possible. When I got there, I tried opening the door, I immediately found that it was locked. I rummaged through my bag, but I couldn't find the key.
"If you're looking for your key, I have it." It was Blake.
"Blake, sweety, please let me in. I swear that was not what it looked like."
"Really? Because it looked like you were kissing Yang." It felt like a knife was pierced through my heart. Hearing those words coming out of her made me feel worse than I actually was. I tightened my fists and took a deep breath.
"I promise you, Blake, that's not what happened. I tried getting her to stop, but she wouldn't. You know I would never do anything like that. You have to believe me."
"So why was she even there?" She was forcing me into a corner.
"I don't want to lie to you Blake. She's in love with me, but I don't share those same feeling with her. It's impossible. I'm an adult and she's only a high school student. I've been constantly trying to convince her that it's wrong, but she just wouldn't listen to me. Blake, I love you more than anything in this world. You have to believe me." There was a pause.
"You're the one who said that love is someone who makes you happy and that you can make them happy."
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you feel this way with her?"
"No, Blake, come on. I could never do that to you. She was your first love. I'm not looking for anyone right now. Don't take this the wrong way. I do not love her." I could her whimper and take a deep breath.
"I believe you." I reached for the door handle when her voice broke our once again. "But I think it's best for you leave. You can come back tomorrow when I've calmed down. Good night." I heard her footsteps trail away from the front door as I was left alone. Being a mom, it was my job to get inside the house, but I respected my daughter's decision. It was best to give her some space and it was best for her not to see me. I grabbed my bag off the ground and headed into town in search of a hotel.
As I made my way into town, that conversation was still stuck in my head. Blake was so calm and I was the one who was panicking. And what was up with her telling me that I was the one who said what the guidelines for love was. It just didn't make sense. I couldn't wrap my head around it. After a few minutes of wandering around, I finally found a nice hotel I could send the night at. Right as I made my way towards it, my name was called which caused me to stop dead in my tracks. It was a familiar voice. I hesitated to turn around because I was afraid face the truth of the matter.
End of Chapter 12