Title: Blue-eyed Angel, 6/?
Author: Goddess Evie
Date: April 1, 2012
Category: JJHR, Angst
Summary: Benton, Hadji and Jonny arrive home.
Disclaimer: I do not own JQ. I make no money off this story. I am only using the characters for my own unique story. I also do not own "Change" Evanescene does (if you haven't noticed by no, I totally love this band). I merely use the lyrics to enhance my humble writing and pay a little homage to such talented musicians.
Chapter 6: Thought that I was strong; I know the words I need to say. Frozen in my place, I let the moment slip away.
Benton exhaled a relieved sigh once he maneuvered his car through the gates of the Quest Compound. If only he could truly leave all that troubled his family outside those gates. But Jonny, sitting in the back seat with Hadji, wasn't going to just start talking again. Nor would the tracker that had been placed around his ankle magically disappear.
Benton pulled the car to a stop outside the mansion, but sat for a moment before exiting the car. He wouldn't exactly call the thoughts that ran through his head a prayer. Just hope that being home meant that life for everyone could return back to normal. Benton glanced at his sons in the rear view mirror. Maybe Jonny could find the words he needed to say in the safety and familiarity of his home. And that Hadji could help find peace for his brother and in doing so find peace for himself.
Hadji and Jonny didn't budge when Benton came around and opened the door for them. Jonny stayed where he was, lost in his thoughts, until Hadji nudged him. When Jonny stepped out of the car, Benton pulled his son under his arm and held onto him. He pulled Hadji to the other side and walked into the house with his sons on either side of him.
Race awaited them in the front entrance. He looked even worse than he'd sounded on the phone.
"Welcome home."
His greeting lacked its usual warmth. His eyes strayed to Jonny's ankle where the tracker blinked. Race shook his head and grumbled something to himself, but Benton couldn't hear what.
"Mrs. Evans is here. She's got some breakfast if you guys are hungry."
"That sounds nice," Benton tried to sound cheery but the effort was lost on the boys.
Hadji tried, though. "Come, Jonny. Let us go see what Mrs. Evans has prepared."
With a hand on Jonny's arm, Hadji led his brother from the front hall towards the kitchen. Benton moved to follow them, but Race stopped him.
"Isn't some officer supposed to be here to get that thing set up?"
"It's completely GPS run. State of the art. They'll know where Jonny is no matter where he goes."
"How were they able to afford that?"
"With some recent generous donations."
"Generous donations from Quest Enterprises?"
Benton rubbed at his face. He didn't want to think about the cruel irony of that statement. Fortunately, Race knew him well enough to change the subject.
"I've already talked to Mrs. Evans. I let her know the best thing she can do is act normal and not mention what happened around the kids at all."
Benton nodded.
"You left behind quite the party at the front gate. How long do you think the reporters will camp out before they realize it's pointless?"
"Hopefully no more than the afternoon. I want them gone before we have to take Jonny and Jessie to see Dr. Goodwyn. There's no way I'm letting any reporters near them right now. They're both too sensitive still."
"I agree. We'll call the police to clear them out if we need to."
"How's Jessie? I thought she'd be here waiting when we came in."
"I did too. She watched from the front window all morning, but when IRIS announced your arrival, she disappeared. Don't know where she went."
"Perhaps she's already joined the boys," Benton suggested.
"Might as well go check. Now that Jonny's home, maybe she'll finally forgive me," Race commented with a sigh as the men followed Jonny and Hadji's path.
"It'll pass. Jessie could never stay mad at you."
"I don't know, Benton. She seems pretty determined."
"She's also been through a lot in the last twenty four hours. She's got so much to deal with. Give her time."
"I'm just not used to keeping my distance in situations like this."
"We've never had a situation like this."
"You know what I mean, Benton."
The men let their conversation lull as they approached the entrance to the kitchen. When they turned in Jonny and Hadji sat together at the bar with bowls of hot cereal in front of them. Hadji ate from his at a slow pace, but the most Jonny did was stare.
Jessie was nowhere in sight.
"You should eat, Dr. Quest," Hadji invited, rising to fill a bowl from a pot on the stove.
Benton started to protest, but Race cut him off in a voice low enough so the boys wouldn't hear.
"Eat, Benton. Starving yourself won't help and you need to set an example for Jonny."
Benton didn't argue. He took the seat on the other side of Jonny while Hadji sat the bowl and a spoon in front of him. Although eating was the last thing Benton felt like doing, he forced himself to for Jonny's benefit.
Jonny didn't even seem to notice he was there.
Benton shared a worried look with Hadji over Jonny's blond head as they ate their breakfast.
"Good, you're eating," Mrs. Evans cheerily greeted as she entered the kitchen. "I imagine it's the first good meal you've had in the last day."
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Evans," Benton responded, finding a smile for the woman.
He kept an eye on Jonny to see how he would react, but he didn't at all.
"Why don't you go somewhere more comfortable and I'll clean up in here."
"We'll get out of your way," Race assured.
He and Benton waited in the doorway for the boys to join them. Hadji touched Jonny's arm to get his brother's attention. Jonny looked at him as if coming out of a dream. Hadji indicated Race and Benton waiting for them with a look in their direction. Jonny followed his brother's gaze, then looked back at Hadji.
"We are going to get out of Mrs. Evans way," Hadji explained.
He pulled Jonny from his stool and across the kitchen. Benton watched with his jaw tight and his heart constricted. He felt Race's hand on his shoulder and tried to remind himself that this wouldn't last. It couldn't last.
Jonny allowed himself to be led along by Hadji behind Benton and Race as they moved through the house. Race tried to convince Benton that he should take some time to shower and maybe get some rest. Benton shook his head at his friend. Such habits seemed like luxuries and unnecessary ones at that. They would take him away from Jonny. He didn't want to be away from his son. From either of them. They needed him so badly right now.
"Jonny?"
It wasn't the worry in Hadji's voice that made Benton whip around to face his sons. Hadji hadn't not sounded worried since he'd laid eyes on Jessie in the police station. It was the tinge of fear Benton heard in his elder son's voice.
Hadji watched Jonny as if he wasn't sure what Jonny was going to do. This was not exactly a foreign state of being for Hadji. He often joked that Jonny should be pictured under the definition for impetuous in the dictionary. No, it went back to the fear again. Hadji was afraid of whatever Jonny might do next.
Jonny stared very intently up the stairs.
Benton followed his son's gaze. His eyes widened when he saw Jessie standing at the top of the staircase staring back down at his son. Jessie had one hand on the newel post. She raised the other to her mouth with the fingers slightly curled.
Although a range of emotions crossed her face, Benton couldn't identify one that indicated she was glad to have Jonny home.
"Jessie." Race addressed his daughter like Benton would've approached a frightened animal.
Jessie turned and fled.
Benton's gaze flashed back to his sons. Jonny looked like he was having a hard time breathing and Hadji was doing his best to calm his brother. Jonny made a guttural sound, and Benton thought he might say something. He hoped Jonny might say something. In fact, he would definitely call this praying.
Hadji hugged his brother, though Jonny didn't return the gesture. When Hadji looked at Benton with a look of utter helplessness, Benton stopped praying and stepped forward to pull both his sons into a tight embrace.
Race watched Benton hold onto Jonny and Hadji and then glanced up at the spot where his daughter had been standing. What had gotten into her? About the only thing she'd talked about the past twenty four hours had been Jonny coming home. Now that he was home, why had she run away?
Race had almost gone after her before, but he'd gotten so used to holding himself back that he stopped himself. He didn't stop himself from going after her now.
He took the steps two at a time and headed left after Jessie. He checked her room first. It was empty. No surprise there. He continued down the hall but stopped again after a few steps. He had no idea where Jessie might have stashed herself away and the compound offered dozens if not hundreds of hiding places.
"IRIS," Race spoke softly but he knew the system would hear him. "Please locate my daughter."
IRIS chirped back at him immediately, "Jessica Bannon is in the billiards room."
With the knife.
Race erased that thought from his mind and followed the hall around the corner. He spotted the cracked open doors of the room IRIS had indicated. Race pushed one of the double doors wider open and stepped halfway into the room.
He didn't have to call out for Jessie even though the room looked empty. He could hear her soft crying. He said her name anyways so she would know he was there. No sense in startling her.
"Go away."
She still sounded mad. Jonny's homecoming hadn't changed that.
Race stepped further into the room and began looking around for where ever Jessie had hidden herself. "Jessie, why did you run away from Jonny?"
No answer, although there was a telling hitch in her crying. Race moved around the pool table and almost tripped over his daughter. He stepped back again but she hadn't noticed him. She had her knees pulled to her chest with her arms folded between them.
And she had her face buried in Jonny's shirt.
Race crouched down to her level. "Jessie,"he said her name firmly.
Jessie turned to look at him with all the vitriol she could muster pouring from her tear-brightened green eyes.
Race would not be deterred, though he proceeded with care. "Why did you run away from Jonny?"
At that question all the anger and the hatred left her expression. "I…couldn't…"
Much like last night, Jessie was unable to formulate her answer into words. She lifted her face to look at the ceiling. "I-he-"
This time, however, Race couldn't guess at what it was daughter was trying to say.
"Hey, Jess. C'mon, it's me. You can tell me."
Jessie looked at her father again wearing a frown that said she so desperately wanted to tell him. That she'd tell him if only she could figure out exactly how to say what she wanted to say.
Race nodded at her and she looked at the tear stained shirt in her hands. He could see she was contemplating its owner, but what her thoughts were concerning that subject was a complete mystery.
Race found Benton later in his study staring at his desk and looking like he might face plant into the pile of papers on it from exhaustion.
"Where are the boys?" Race asked and Benton jerked up to look at him.
"Upstairs. Hadji wanted to help Jonny get cleaned up and changed."
A beat of heavy silence passed between the two men before Benton remembered to ask, "And Jessie. Did you find her?"
Race nodded as he sank into one of the chairs in front of Benton's desk.
"Did she say why she ran away from Jonny?"
Race pushed a hand through his hair and shook his head. "She tried, but…she's still finding it hard to talk about…"
Benton sat up straighter and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive. Is she okay?"
"She's about as okay as Jonny is, so, no."
"How are we going to handle this, Race? I've never felt at such a complete loss to help my sons."
"I know, but we'll get through this the way we always do. One step at a time, working together."
"It's just that Jonny-I don't think he was even this was bad when his mother…"
"Whoa, don't go there, Benton. I can't hold this family together by myself. I need you on this."
"Right."
Race watched as Benton composed himself, transforming before his very eyes. Taking a moment to mentally prepare himself, Benton's resolve not to lose control showed in his face. When he finally met Race's eyes, that hopelessness that had nearly led him to a break down moments before was gone.
"So what's the plan?"
"I'm going to keep a close eye on security. Although the physical danger has passed, Jonny and Jessie are extremely fragile right now. I'm hoping they'll take some comfort in knowing that I've got the security levels set all the way up. Even Mrs. Evans can't enter the grounds without one of us manually letting her in.
"I'm also going to continue to monitor the news channels. We'll be better off if we know what the world is saying and hearing about us. And when we do finally go public, we'll be better prepared to respond to whatever they throw at us."
Benton pressed his mouth into a tight line for a brief moment. "I'll stay in touch with Mr. Fitzmichael. Stay updated on the case and give whatever help I can to beat this murder rap."
"The only other thing we can do is be there for our children. Let them know we're here for them. Jessie hides away from me most of the time, but when she does show up, I just try to let her know I'm there for whatever she needs."
"I'm glad they have Hadji. He seems to be able to get closer to both of them than either of us can. I just worry he'll take this whole burden upon himself."
"We gotta be strong for all of them, Benton."
Author's Notes: There are many reasons this new chapter took so long. Only one is that I couldn't work out Jonny's homecoming (and reuniting with Jessie) in my head satisfactorily. No matter how I manipulated it or reworked it, it just felt wrong. And then I realized that what I originally planned wasn't the way the scene was supposed to go at all and how it really needed to happen and I was finally able to write this chapter.
I know. Not the homecoming everyone was looking forward. Even I was looking forward to the happy homecoming (at least on Jessie's side), but it just didn't work. When I realized it needed to happen as I wrote it, it all fell into place.
So, please don't hate me. Sometimes the scenes have a mind of their own and I am merely the slave to their whimsy.
And I would be amiss if I didn't thank everyone for their very kind reviews. I try to respond to each one individually, but in case I missed somebody: Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You are all wonderful, fantastic people. I hope you review other stories you like as kindly and eagerly as you review mine.