My Yearning Heart
Chapter 21
It Keeps on Happening
Note: I want to give a shout out to all of the mothers out there. You guys are the best, and don't you forget it. If you're reading this and you aren't a mother, good find one and give her hug. I don't care if you don't even know her. Just do it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update.
Dinner was fantastic. They food was amazing and it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. I was able to share with Yang some of the deepest things in my life. That wasn't really part of my plan, but she also did some talking which made me feel better. She was completely open to talking about herself and I was able to figure her out even more. Even though I already knew it, she was a very open person. She wasn't a big fan of school or girly things, but she said that her biggest wish was the learn more about love. That's where our conversation ended. She paid for the meal and we headed back to my house.
On the way home, I decided to stay quiet. I spoke for most of the night so I even had to digest the words I shared with her. Surprisingly, Yang was on the quiet side as well. I didn't bother asking her what was up since a lot has happened in the past few hours. Once we got home, I opened the door and decided to let her in for a few more minutes. The night was still young so there was no need to send her home.
At that moment, I frozen in thought. Why was I doing this? We've said our words. I've learned more than enough about her. I should send her home. Why am I allowing her in my house? I pressed my hand against my head and tried to calm down.
"Alex, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm just getting a little headache."
"Alright, why don't you lie down for a bit?"
"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"How can I not? You just suddenly starting acting like this. There's no way I would take notice of this and not do anything about it."
"Yang, please. It's fine."
"No, it's not." She tried grabbing my shoulder, but I slapped her hand out of the air.
"Just leave. I've had enough for one day." The whole house went silent. We were both speechless and to be honest, I didn't really know what was happening. I slowly walked to the back of the house and into my room while Yang honorably left without saying a word. For the rest of the night, I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling in question.
What the hell did I just do? What came over me? Those questions remained in my head until I finally fell asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't a pleasant night of rest. I tossed and turned thinking about Blake and Yang. If things continued to go on like, I would have to tell Blake about this and God knows how she'll react. God knows what that'll mean for me. If I end up unable to do it, I'd have to break Yang's heart once again. It's happened so often for her that I don't even know if she can handle it again. The more I continued to think about it, the more I realized that I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
…
The days went by and I remained in my room. I didn't bother getting ready or anything since it wasn't even worth it. The ceiling was my only friend. It offered solace in a time in my life where I felt like it was impossible. Although this was true, I still had those thoughts that made me hurt in the heart and mind.
I thought things would be resolved by now. I thought things would return to normal by going down this path, but apparently, life isn't so simple. I've only chosen the path where sacrifices must be made. I've made so many sacrifices already though. Hasn't my life been nothing of giving? I've given everything to those around me. Blake is my life and yet, I'm still facing the fact that there are things that I still need to resolve. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this. I just wanted a life where I could be happy with the people I love.
These thoughts were leeched onto my brain to where that was the only thing I did. Food and water didn't appear important to me. Hygiene and other things didn't seem important either. I just laid on my bed trying to figure out what I should do. That's when I thought back to the date I had with Yang.
It was supposed a time where I could learn about her, but I ended up sharing my own life instead. Yes, I did feel like weight was lifted off of my shoulders, but at the same time, it felt like even more was packed on once the night was over. I can't really explain it, but it just didn't seem right. People can be used as outlets to help get through tough times in life, but that wasn't the case this time. I was so confused. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was exhausting my mind so much to where nothing seemed right and everything felt hazy.
After a couple of more days or maybe about a week, I finally fell off my bed and satisfied my biological needs. Unfortunately, it didn't feel refreshing. I ate food to fill me up and drank water to replenish myself, but it didn't do anything for me. Why was this sort of thing happening?
It wasn't until my phone started buzzing where I finally snapped out of my trance. I picked it up to see that Blake's flight was returning today. I looked at the time and saw that it was about only 3 hours until she arrived. I quickly smacked my face as hard as I could and got ready as fast as I could. Apparently, I was so lost in thought that time wasn't a factor in my life. I couldn't believe that that was possible. Once I finished getting ready, I saw that there was about an hour left. I jumped in the car and drove as fast as I could to the airport. Without breaking any laws, I got there as fast as I could, keeping a close watch on the time. Time was not a friend at the moment. I arrived at the airport and dashed to her terminal. I don't know how many people I bumped into, but it was a lot.
The war to get to my destination continued. There were so many obstacles in my path that it was almost impossible to run anymore. I strategically plotted where I needed to go until I finally slipped out of the crowd. I bent over onto my knees and blew out a lung as a familiar voice broke through the madness.
"Mom? Are you alright?" I slowly raised my head to see Blake waiting for me with all of her belongings. Out of nowhere, a smile appeared on my face. "You know you're kind of late."
"What are you talking about? I got here when you're flight was scheduled to arrive."
"No, I texted you saying that we were ahead of schedule." My eyes shot wide open. How was that possible? I wasn't aware of this. I pulled out my phone and saw that there was one unread message. Apparently, I was in such a rush that I completely ignored. I guess I'm just the biggest idiot on the planet. I stood up straight and walked towards Blake.
"Welcome back, sweety." I opened my arms and she dropped her things and jumped right at me.
"I'm happy to be back."
I couldn't have been happier seeing her face once again.
End of Chapter 21
Ending Note: So, recently, my editor decided to move on to other things which I'm really sad about. She really made things go by easier for me since I have a lot on my plate. However, this leaves me with an opportunity to ask my fans. If there's anyone interested in editing/reviewing my works, I'd really appreciate it. If you're interesting, please PM me and I'll see what I can do.