"No!"

You shot up, tears streaming down your cheeks.

You weren't on the field, in front of a suicidal Brandon. There was no blood around you, and you could hear nothing but the pounding of your heart and your incessant sobs.

"Please don't be dead..."

You jumped out of your room, doing your morning routine as quickly as possible. You had to talk to him again, you had to!

Not even bothering to eat breakfast, you pulled your dad along with you to the bug truck. Luckily, by that time he'd eaten, but he still looked shocked as you tugged him along.

"What's wrong, Nikki?"

"Nothing, Dad." You didn't look at him. "I just want to be early this morning."

"Why's that?"

You resisted the urge to sigh. He didn't know what was going wrong, and you didn't want to involve him. "Nothing important. Just... School."

He didn't ask anymore questions after that, and drove you to school wordlessly. You could barely say goodbye to him before he drove off, leaving you with your head in your hands. You hadn't wanted to make him mad at you. You just wanted to hurry.

You rushed into school, eyes darting around the halls. Where is he?!

You were about to turn a corner, but stopped when you saw him, back turned, head lowered as he walked through the crowded hallway. He was wearing a grey, long-sleeved sweater instead of his usual button-up shirt.

You couldn't bring yourself to move. You couldn't bring yourself to face him, especially not after yesterday.

You slowly turned to go back, hoping you could muster up enough courage by Biology, but found yourself face-to-face with a horrid sight.

Mackenzie.

She wrinkled her nose at the sight of you. "What are you doing here, dork? Don't you have other places to be? Like the garbage disposal? Looks like it, 'coz you look like trash!"

You gave her a stony glare. "Get out of my way, bitch."

"What did you say?"

"Get out of my way, bitch." And with that you walked off.

As you looked for your first class, you caught sight of Chloe and Zoey. Chloe ran over to you, but Zoey followed behind, staring at you coldly.

"OMG, Nikki! I know that you had a detention, but why didn't you answer any of my texts?"

"Um..." No, no, no! I can't be crying at a time like this!

"Nikki? What's-"

Zoey spoke up. "We didn't get to finish our conversation last night, Nikki." She gripped your arm. "Now tell me, what's up with you and Brandon?"

Chloe's eyes widened in shock, mirroring your expression. "What?! What the hell's he done this-" Zoey cut her off with a finger to her lips. That was your cue to speak.

"Um... he... and I..." You tried to fool them by coughing incessantly, but Zoey just folded her arms.

"Nikki, I'm not stupid. I can tell a fake cough from a real one. So you better tell the truth quick. That is, if you don't want us to drag you to the janitor's closet and make you explain there. We do have a lot of time."

You gulped. "Err... Umm..."

Oh, heck. I'll just tell them and get it over with.

You took a deep breath.

"Youknowthatsleepover? IkindadidsomethingreallybadtoBrandonandImessedupandnowIthinkhehatesmeI'msosorryguysIwastooscaredtogetyouinvolvedIamsososorrypleasedon'thateme."

Chloe gave you a look that said, "The heck was that."
But Zoey pulled you into a tight hug, and after a few moments, Chloe joined the hug too.

"I'm so glad you told us, Nikki. You shouldn't have to go through this alone." She slowly pulled away. "You need to apologise to Brandon. If he tries something, don't worry-"

"No!" you screeched. "I-it was my fault. I interfered in his business. So please... Let me talk to him alone."

For a few moments, Zoey stared at you contemplatively. But finally, she said, "Okay, Nikki. We'll leave you guys alone."

But just as she was about to walk off with Chloe, you grabbed her hand.

"I-I'm not saying I don't need you guys! You're my best friends! It's just... You guys have been such good friends to me, and I don't want to burden you with my problems..."

Chloe and Zoey looked a bit surprised for a few moments, but then they both pulled you in for a hug. Zoey spoke.

"Oh, Nikki... thanks for the appreciation. We'll let you talk to him alone, but tell us what happened after, okay?"

You nodded. "Thank you."

It's time.

You tried not to squirm in your seat when Brandon arrived, taking his seat next to you. As usual, he didn't strike up a conversation with you. And as usual, anxiety consumed your being. What would he say once you started it?

Before you could chicken out, the words streamed right out of your mouth.

"Brandon, can I talk to you?"

He jumped a little in his seat. When he calmed down (not turning around), he said, "S-sure, Nikki. Shoot."

He seemed nervous. But you gathered up enough courage to keep going. It was too late to stop.

"Y-you remember what happened last weekend, right? W-well, a-about that."

Brandon turned your direction a little. "What's up?"

You gulped. "I-I just want to say that I... I'm... I'm so... so... so-"

"Brandon! How are you, hon? Is Nikki-pooh here bothering you?!"

You blinked rapidly as you stared at Mackenzie in shock. Why, of all times, did it have to be now?!

Brandon looked like he'd just been shaken out of a trance. "M-Mackenzie..."

She smiled, showing her straight, pearly whites. "What is it, hon?"

"I-I have to talk to Nikki..."

But before Mackenzie could respond, the teacher arrived, sending Mackenzie dashing, frenzied, to her table.

And yet another day goes, you thought, sighing.

After Biology, you were only too eager to go to your next class and escape the awkwardness. But of course Brandon had other ideas. You had just stepped out of the classroom when he spoke to you again.

"Nikki. Can I talk to you?"

Oh gosh… not again.

You could feel his stare burning into the back of your neck, and you couldn't take the awkwardness. This needed to be quick.

"What is it?"

Silence for a few moments.

"It's… it's about Tuesday."

You shut your eyes, feeling the shame of it all coming back. Not this again, please… Anything but this again.

"I just wanted to say that… I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have broken down like that in front of you. I made you cry. So, please-" He froze when you whipped around.

"D-don't be the one to apologize! I shouldn't have been so nosy and stayed up. I need to say sorry!" You felt tears pricking at your eyes, but you blinked them away, not wanting what had happened at the sleepver to repeat.

Brandon took a step towards you, making you take a step back. "Nikki. Please."

You shook your head. "No. It wasn't your fault."

"Well I know it wasn't yours!" he replied. "Just… please."

A thousand thoughts were going through your mind, making you feel dizzy.

Suddenly, something clicked in your memory. The figure at the window.

You felt all the blood drain from your face. No. He couldn't have…!

Before you could stop yourself, you caught his arm with a tight grip.

He winced in pain for a second—before he realized you were there.

"Nikki," he gasped. "What are… what are you doing?!"

You ignored him and gently pushed his sleeve up to his upper arm, before you examined the forearm. It looked perfectly fine, save for the strikingly uneven shade some of the skin was.

No. Please, don't be one of them too…

You rubbed the skin, making sure to make it as quick and gentle as possible, even as Brandon struggled to make you let go.

"No," he whispered, despair clear in his voice. "Don't look…!"

And that was when you found out another horrific secret of Brandon Roberts.

Dozens of red scars were scattered across soft skin, some looking newer than others. A few looked dangerously close to a vein.

So he had been the figure at the window.

It took you a few seconds to realize that you were crying. And when you could bring yourself to look up, he was crying too.