My Yearning Heart

Chapter 25

Another One?

Note: Here's a special update for you guys. We finished our tour of the east coast pretty quickly and are about to leave the country. I got to see New York and it was very crowded. It was definitely not my kind of place. The next time you guys hear from me, I'll be in Europe so wish me luck. I hope you all enjoy.

That evaluation continued to leave a bad taste in my mouth. If only Yang hadn't shown up that day, I wouldn't be feeling like this. I just couldn't get over it. As the days went by, Yang continued to visit my room and she started to resort to her old ways. I didn't know why. I thought I made it clear to her that she had to be patient so unfortunately, I was forced to remind her of her promise. My stern voice caused her to back away in fear and leave in silence. It just felt like things were getting harder for me.

After some time, going to school was a struggle. I woke up lazily and felt as if there was an anchor tied to my leg. I trudged along while Blake helped me out. She couldn't help but ask if I was getting old. All I could do was laugh. That comment really lightened my day up, but it wasn't untrue. I know I was only nearing my mid-forties, but the years were piling up.

It didn't seem like it, but first semesters finals were already in high gear making my room fairly quiet. The whole school was either studying for a test or taking one. All I could do was wait until school was over. When the last day of finals came around, my door swung open which gave me a little surprise. My head was on my desk and I didn't feel like seeing who it was. However, the door immediately closed and I heard someone run over to me. Blake, what are you doing here?

"Alex, what are you doing? Are you okay?" From underneath my arms, my eyes widened as I recognized that voice. It wasn't Blake.

"Yang, why are you here? Shouldn't you be studying?"

"I'm all done with my tests. Are you okay? Usually, you seem so chipper." My head was still in my arms.

"I don't know. I've been feeling really tired lately."

"You want me to walk you over to the bed?"

"No, it's alright. The day's almost over. I can muscle through it for a little while longer." There was a sudden pause in our conversation. All I heard was a bag drop to the ground and a hand that was placed on my shoulder. Finally, I managed to look up to see Yang looking right at me.

"Um, I know I made that promise to you, but…" Yang looked down with a flushed face. "Would you like to go on another date with me?" My face finally changed.

"Eh?! What? We can't."

"I know. It's just that… You've seemed really down and I wanted to see if I could make you feel better."

"Yang, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." She suddenly took my hand and continued to stare into my eyes.

"Please, you don't have to act so strong. Let me be here for you." There it was. She just had a way with words. She tried leaning closer to my face, but I gently place my hand in front of myself before she could.

"Yang, we can't. It's still too early for that."

"I know it is. I just… I hate seeing you so sad. You're so beautiful when you're happy and I want to see you happy again." I couldn't explain it, but I felt so weak whenever she talked like that. I mean, I know she wasn't casting a spell on me, but it always felt like it.

"I appreciate your words, but I just don't think…"

"If it's about what happened last time, I promise to make it better. Please let me make up for what has happened these past few days." I sighed. There was no getting through to this girl.

"Alright, I guess I could allow this just one last time." She suddenly grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye with every inch of honesty in her body.

"I promise I won't disappoint you this time." At that moment, she stormed out of the room. When she did, I immediately got a worried look on my face. How was I supposed to go on a date with her with Blake still here? She quickly retreated into her thoughts and tried to think of something. There was no way she sending Blake off again for that reason alone. I couldn't tell her that she was going on a date with Yang since she was her last girlfriend. There weren't enough options to come away with a satisfying ending. The internal struggle lasted until the day was finally over. Blake made her way to her mom's room and the two of them walked home.

First semester finals were over and it was finally time to hang out with family. Unfortunately, I still had to deal with her date with Yang and she was still unable to come up with any plans for Blake. At this point in time, I was forced either to lie to her or tell her the truth. Both ways are horrible paths to go down, but this was the only way. Once dinner was done, we sat around in the living room and hung out.

"Hey Blake."

"Yeah?"

"I, um, I know we're going to hang out this winter and all…" Blake suddenly leapt onto the couch and hugged her arm.

"Yeah we are, and I'm so excited."

"Haha, I bet." The longer it took to decide, the more it pained her inside. "Well, before we start, one of my friends from the bar I go to wanted to hang out with me tomorrow night and I said yes. I hope you don't mind."

"What?! You have friends?! I had no idea. If it's a friend, of course I don't mind."

"Are you sure? I'll feel bad if you're not okay with this."

"I'm fine. You can go have fun."

"Well, if you're allowing me to go, I don't mind if you hang out with some of your friends. Plus, I still don't feel comfortable with you hanging around at home alone."

"What?! I hang out here alone all of the time."

"Oh really?" I crossed my arms and gave her a dirty look and Blake immediately gave me a scared look.

"Okay I'm sorry. I never did anything irresponsible. I swear!" I took it slow and pointed my arm towards the kitchen.

"Go clean the dishes and I'll forgive you." Right as she was about to pout, I gave her that same look and she immediately quieted down. When she retreated into the kitchen, I immediately took a sigh of relief. My plan worked, but at a horrible cost. I lied to my own daughter yet again. I can't count up the lies, but it's just too much. I don't know why I don't feel anything when I lie anymore. It shouldn't be like this. I'm simply setting a horrible example for her. That night of sleep was simple horrible. There were no other words to describe it.

End of Chapter 25