Disclaimer: I don't owe any of this, including Tsubasa.
I decided to write about Fai's POV here. Please don't ask why. I have no idea.
Another restless night, Fai decided. Something was bugging him, not nightmares, not his past, but just… something. And something must be done to overcome this something. Great, and now he's starting to use something over the reason of something over and over again, rambling.
He left the warmth of his bed and slid open the door of his room, entering the chilly breeze of dawn. It smelled of Sakura flowers. Sadly, somehow, it reminded him of the sweet girl who lost her soul. He sighed and walked gracefully to the balcony. Oh, little Kuro-rin is there! Knowing the man already sensed his presence, Fai stared into the sky, thinking. Not of his past, not of worries, but the memories he desperately wanted back. The time they spent together in Outo, the happy days that were now nothing but unfading memories. Until that incident that ruined it all. An unconscious part of his mind rambled: So what? Revelations of the truth is bound to come, sooner or later. That part made him grateful that they were at least blessed to create those wonderful memories before things fell apart.
Then he thought, about how much they've been through. About how much things had changed. Only now in Kuro-sama's world that they are truly starting to pick up the pieces. To regain what was lost. Then Fai knew what was bugging him. Kuro-sama will be leaving them soon.
"Hey." A familiar voice broke into the air.
He could help but smile at that simple gesture that means so much. "Hmm?"
"Back there, in your world… no hard feelings?"
Fai almost laughed. In his world? Him? With the hard feelings? Kuro-rin must be joking. He's the one who's suppose to bear the hard feelings, but he was glad Kuro-rin voiced out what he did not dare. "I should be asking you the same question."
Kurogane shook his head. His heart settled down part of a burden he was carrying. It felt lighter. "Well, there you have it." Then a thought struck him, hard. His world? No, no! That's not his world! He never wanted to be in those worlds… even though those are the places his life withheld, it no longer remembers him, and Fai no longer wanted to be remembered by those worlds. He didn't even know he thought that out loud. "Besides, that's not my world anymore…"
He jumped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. "It's not your fault." Fai looked into the red sea, filled with… er… comfort? He smiled, although it was a pretty sad one. "I know." Silence wrapped around them like a cloak. Fai felt nervous, somehow, but he couldn't help but feel sad. Very sad. "So I guess you're staying, right?" Out of the corners of his eyes he could tell Kuro-sama really didn't know what he was talking about. He wanted to laugh, but he isn't in the right state of mind to do so.
"Your wish is granted. Your home now." Now, he felt very, very sad at the idea of Kuro-rin leaving them. Their big little guard dog. The kids' daddy. Leaving. Their family would be incomplete. How would they manage without him? He's the wise, the tough, they would be almost nothing without him. He was so divulged in his own thoughts that he almost missed the next sentence, a dose of awakening spell: Surprise.
"This isn't my home anymore. It's my world, with the people I love, yes, but not my home. Besides, I can't let you brats have all the fun." Fai smiled, a genuine smile, a wide smile, a simple, happy smile. His heart was flying. If it isn't careful it might hit a tree sooner or later. Then he thought about what he said. "You know, home doesn't necessary have to be a place." He looked into the sky, light approaching. That is his home. The sky, where he could fly freely, forever. "It isn't made out of words, and sometimes it isn't visible. It's just somewhere we belong to," Fai only had a second to consider adding the last sentence. "Something that ties us together."
He looked beyond the horizon into the memories. The happy times they had together, the incident that ruined it all (and it is NOT Syaoran's fault, just a revelation. A painful revelation.), then the killing that added further to the pain but their strength, then another revelation (this time his), a brush with death, then…… all he remembered was pain in his heart, until Tomoyo-hime looked at him with those eyes. Those eyes that can convince a hopeless person to believe anything could be achieve. Eyes like Kuro-sama's. It made him realize he can change himself if he wanted to. Having a bad past doesn't mean you deserve the same, horrible future. He can be someone strong, someone like Kuro-sama: Valuing things that are important in life, respectable, wise… everything. He was glad he took the first, important step that he knew was right in his whole entire life.
Then he thought, for what? These changes, these patches, all these attempts to mend the family and their members, of course it will result to something better and bring happiness to all of them. But innocence is already lost. The innocence of a young boy that turned into a heartless killing machine, replaced by a true loving person, but knows more than he shows. The innocence of a young princess with her memories missing, then it was killed, slaughtered, lost. And Kuro-sama and he weren't innocent from the very start. Then all these attempts, all for what? It's not like things could turn back to the way it once was.
No, it couldn't be. Then when the light illuminates the world, hope struck him with the realization that maybe, just maybe…
Things really could.