My Yearning Heart

Chapter 28

The Things I Loved

Mom,

I don't know what I just witnessed, but I do know that we need our space. I'm not going to judge you on who you love or what you want in a person, but I will say this. Yang was my first love and if you're planning on being with her, I just hope that she doesn't make you sad like the way she did with me. As for me, don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll be spending some time with my friend so just take this time to get things fixed and everything. I guess that's all I can say for now. Bye.

-Blake

That was the end of the message. I put my phone back in my pocket and ran up to her room. I barged through the door and saw that the room was dark and emptier than usual. I went through her things and saw that a lot of her belongings were gone. I didn't know how she escaped so quickly, but it felt so different. I collapsed onto my knees as tears started to roll down my face.

"Blake, I'm so sorry. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this." I tried wiping away my tears as I got back up on my feet. I looked on her dresser and saw a picture of the two of us when we were younger. Blake was probably in elementary school. She was so cute. I wanted to see her again and explain myself. I took out my phone again and dialed her number.

"Hi…"

"Blake, I…"

"This is Blake. I'm busy right now so if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible." I sighed with sadness in my heart.

"H-Hi Blake, it's me. I, um… I really wanna talk to you. I can't explain to you what you saw, but I do know that I'm really sorry if that caused you to feel any hate towards me. I didn't ask for this to happen; I didn't even want this to happen. You know that you're the only one in this world that I care about. Nothing can ever change that. I, uh… I guess that's all I have to say. If you're there, I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you're safe with whoever. I'll leave the door open for you whenever you come back home. I'll be patiently waiting." I waited a few more seconds for her to pick up, but it remained silent. I hung the phone and looked at the ground. "I'm such a horrible person." I left her room and headed downstairs. Being in the house was just too much for me right now so decided to go on a little walk hoping that it would help me clear my mind. I reached for the front door and opened it up to be intercepted by someone standing in the door way.

"Oh, hey Alex." I got off their chest and saw that it was Cinder. "Yang told me about you guys having another date so I just wanted to wish you good luck and…" I collapsed into her chest and started to cry.

"Aaaahhhhhh!"

"Alex, what's wrong?"

"It's my daughter. She left me!" At that moment, she put her hands on my shoulders and walked me back inside where we sat on the couch.

"Hey, try to calm down. How did this happen?" It was hard to listen to her. The tears were escaping my eyes at an uncontrollable rate. I tried wiping them away, but they kept on coming out. It was pretty much a rain storm with no end in sight. As I continued to cry, there wasn't much that Cinder could do except hug me and try to comfort me. "Yeah, if you don't want to talk just yet. It's fine. Take your time. There's no need to rush this." That's when I felt a little more at ease. I cried for a few more minutes until the tears started to dry up. "Better now?" I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Haha, don't worry about it. We're friends. That's what we're here for." I smiled as I wiped away the last tear in my eyes. "So, what happened?" I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes and told her the whole story.

It pained me to talk about it like that, but there was nothing else I could do. I crossed the line and now, I'm paying the price by having my daughter being taken away from me. If anything, that was the worst thing that could possible happen to me. She was my life and having her hate me for a certain reason was pretty much like living in hell. My words weren't reaching her no matter how much I wanted them to. I continued to pour out my heart and soul into the story I was telling Cinder which didn't even give her any moment to try and stick in a few little comments. I felt so easy talking to this woman. It was probably because we've gone through a lot at the bar that I don't really want to remember. Once I finished my story, the tears slowly started to stop and I slowly started to calm down.

"What should I do?" It took her a while to give me an answer, but when she did, I felt so relieved.

"Well, I know this may seem a little lame, but I think you should just be patient. Giving your daughter the time she needs to think about this is important. Don't you think?" She lifted my head and I looked right at her.

"So is that all of the advice you could give me?"

"Haha, of course not. I would say that… Make sure she knows that you love her. Tell her as much as you can while keeping your distance. As long as she knows your trying, I'm sure she'll come back to you." Out of nowhere, another tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away quickly.

"I know this may be a little selfish of me, but… Could I stay at your place for a few days? Being here by myself kind of worsens the pain."

"Of course. You want me to help you pack or?"

"No… It's okay. I can handle that." I stood up and headed off to my room. I grabbed a small amount of things that I needed to live away from home for a while and left the house. I didn't look back. I didn't even think about it. I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

When we made it back to Cinder's place, I was kind of surprised. She lived in a small condo in a pretty lively neighborhood. When we stepped inside, the place was kind of cluttered. There was a small couch in the middle of the room with a small TV against the wall. The kitchen was probably the nicest part of the place so far. She took through the place to show me a bathroom and one bedroom. That's when I got a little confused.

"Hey Cinder, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but… Where am I going to sleep?"

"You can sleep on my bed." I was speechless at her words.

"Um, are you sure?"

"Of course. You're my guest. I'm not making you sleep on the floor or the couch."

"Aw, well thank you." She smiled and started and clean up the condo. She was really quick in picking up all the things she had on the floor. Once she was done, I unpacked my things awkwardly and got ready for bed. As I did, Cinder relaxed on her couch. When I finished, I walked out of the bathroom and peeked my head into the living room. "Cinder, I just wanna say thank you once again for doing this for me."

"Don't worry about it. We friends have got to be there for each other." I smiled and headed off to bed. I closed the door behind me and crashed on top of her bed. I was immediately soothed by the softness of her bed. I didn't know a bed could feel this good, but then again, I was so used to sleeping on my bed. The clock in the room ticked endlessly. My mind was racing and I couldn't concentrate. Without trying any harder, I grabbed my phone and called Blake one last time.

"This is Blake. I'm busy right now so if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Um, hi Blake. It's me. I just wanted to say good night and I hope you're doing well. I love you… so much." There was so much more that I wanted to say, but then I remembered what Cinder said to me. I had to give her her space. I said what I needed to say and that was enough for one day. I hung up and turned over onto my back.

Why is this happening to me?

Wait… I've asked this question to myself before. "Why is this happening?"

Why is this happening to me?

End of Chapter 28