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Call him a mutt.
Tell him that dogs shouldn't eat at the table.
Tell him that mutant dog food is a stupid fear.
Tell him that Angel is really an alien in disguise.
Tell him to heel.
Tell him that it's time to get him "fixed".
Tell him it's time to go to the vet.
Tell him that he needs a bath.
Give him a bath.
Yell in his sensitive doggie ears.
Talk at him nonstop.
Tell him that you know something he doesn't about Angel.
Say this until he cracks.
If he asks what you know, tell him it's a secret.
Tell him he's a bad dog.
Coo at him in baby talk.
If you are physically unable to speak baby talk, or just aren't familiar with the language, tell him that you would if you could but you can't.
Pick him up and carry him around.
Put him down so suddenly that he can't get his feet under him in time.
Laugh at him.
Spin him around and around and around until he gets so dizzy he can't see straight.
Laugh at him.
Make an English-Dog Dictionary.
Make it contain fifteen words.
Make five words mean "Feed me.", or "Give me food." or something like that.
Make five of the other words mean "Pet me."
Make three words mean "I thought it would be fun to make meaningless noise."
Make one of the two remaining words mean "Bark."
Make the last word mean "Oh, look, a cat, I think I'll go chase it up a tree and try to scare it, probably getting my nose scratched to shreds in the process."
Tell him that you've been studying the behaviors of the average dog.
Tell him that based upon your studies, you've made a "Dog Dictionary".
Show him the "Dog Dictionary".
Run away before he can bite you.
Bark at him.
Tell him you thought it'd be cool to learn dog.
WARNING!!!!
UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, I HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU RUN FOR YOUR FORKING LIFE SHOULD YOU TRY ANY OF THESE THINGS!!!