My Yearning Heart
Chapter 33
Where Life Takes Me
Attending work at school was kind of worthless. Nothing really happened in the morning so it gave me time to think about what I needed to take with me after the year was over. I did have some pictures hanging on my wall when I was at a school event that needed a nurse. All the pictures were with other students. We all had smiles on our faces and looking back, it really made me happy.
It didn't take long before the visitors started to slowly increase in the mornings. With me not being there in the afternoon raised concern for my usual students. They barged into my room and hugged me as soon as they saw me.
"Ms. Belladonna, you can't leave us."
"Yeah, we love you too much."
"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. There are more things for me in this life so I'm going to answer that calling." At first, I thought it seemed like a good choice of words, but it just made them cry. When they did, I couldn't hold the tears either. I wrapped my arms around them and let a few tears run down my face. It was true. I was leaving this place.
With me soon out of a job, I quickly went on a job search. Apparently, the times have changed because job hunting was extremely difficult for me. Back then was I searching for one, all I had to do was show them my resume, talk about my degree, and boom, the job was mine. Now, there's such a long process that I can barely explain. They asked about my college and what it was like. Then they asked me about my age and previous experience. There were other stuff, but I just don't remember. I went to other schools, hospitals, and small clinics in hopes of finding the perfect job for me. All I could do was wait for some news back.
As for Blake, things were going well for her. Unfortunately, she wasn't spending a lot of time at home, but it was for a good reason. She managed to find a boy she really liked. It took me a while to meet him, but when I did, I immediately approved. His name was Sun Wukong. He was very sweet and I could tell that he really cared about Blake. He didn't go to her school, but when she was out with her friends one day, she met him and things just took off from there.
Personally, I couldn't be happier for her. With things approaching the halfway point in the year, the two of them planned to go to Winter Formal. The way he asked her was so sweet. He took Blake and me to dinner and asked the waiting staff to help him out. They came over with trays that had the letters of "formal" on the bottom of it. I guess I'm just a sucker for cute things, but I was impressed with his creativity.
During my free time, I got to spend time with Cinder. It was really nice being with her again. She asked about how life was going and I was able to say things were going well. It felt good. My relationship with Blake was rekindled and it made things so much better. As for Cinder, things were a little bad for her. She told me that without me being there, things were so boring. I couldn't help but feel guilty about this. If I wouldn't have gone to her place in the first place, she wouldn't be feeling this way. But then again, she was now my best friend. I had to care nonetheless.
"So what are we going to do during the winter break?" I still haven't told her the news of my occupation.
"Um, Blake, I think we should sit down for this."
"Why? What's wrong?" I guided her to the couch and sat down right beside her.
"I know it's you're senior year and I promised you that we would do something special for winter break. Unfortunately, something came up." As Blake was looking at me, her face slowly started to change.
"What are you talking about?" I grabbed her hands and took a deep breath.
"I was fired." Blake's jaw slowly dropped. "They're giving me the year to finish up and then I'm done. I'm sorry I kept this from you. It's just that I didn't want you to worry about me."
"How can I not worry? You lost your job. Do you know where you're going to work after all of this is over?"
"Not yet. That's what I was going to do during the winter. I was going to do one last spurt to try and find a job. This is what makes me sad. I can't keep my promise to you. However, I don't want you to stay here all alone." Right on cue, there was a knock from the front door. I gestured Blake to go answer the door. When she opened it up, she was immediately intercepted by Sun.
"Oh hi, what are you doing here?" I came up behind her and interrupted their conversation.
"I talked with Sun and his family and it just so happens that they're going on a cruise. It took some negotiations, but they said they'd be happy to have you. This is the promise I can give to you. Go with him and have a good time." Blake turned around, but she didn't have the face I was expecting. She almost looked sad.
"But what about you?"
"Like I said, I'll be looking for a job."
"But the winter is for relaxing."
"Blake, it's not like I'm going to be doing job hunting all day, every day. I'm just going to use that time to find something since most people leave during that time." Blake bowed her head.
"I guess you're right." I held her chin and brought it back up.
"So what's your answer?" I turned her around and made her face Sun.
"Sure. I'll go with you."
"Really? Sweet. Thank you Ms. Belladonna."
"No, thank you Sun."
"Hey, well, I have to go, but I'll call you later. Are you okay with that?" Blake nodded her head. At that moment, Sun leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Okay, bye." We waved goodbye as he ran out of the gate and back to his house. I closed the door, but Blake was still looking at me funny.
"Are you purposely trying to get rid of me?"
"Of course not. I just want you to go to college and have something to talk about." We walked back into the living room, but before we were able to sit down, Blake grabbed me by the hand which caused me to look at her once again.
"If I'm going to spend time with Sun, you have to spend time with Cinder." I immediately retreated from that conversation.
"What? Where is this coming from?"
"Oh, come on. Don't give me that. She's like your only friend now. The least you could do is see her when you're not busy."
"Wow, thanks. That totally boosts my confidence."
"Hey, you know it's true." I sighed out loud and patted her on the head.
"Fine. When I'm not busy, I will try to spend some time with Cinder." Blake smiled and headed up to her room.
"I'm gonna go pack."
"Alright."
It was hard, but I had to do this. She was going to be gone sooner or later so I might as well get used to the feeling. Unfortunately, I didn't want to. Deep down, she was still my little girl. She was the one person in my life who I couldn't let go of.
…
Winter came around and Blake departed on her trip. I took her to Sun's house to bid her farewell. They reassured me that she would be safe and that actually helped me out a lot. His family was filled with good people so all I could do was wait until the break was over to see my daughter once again.
When the next week came around, I immediately got to work. I went all around town, searching for some opening. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work. Everywhere was filled with no interest in old blood like me. The times were definitely changing on me. Places nowadays longed to hire young blood in order to season them for a long period of time. It sucked for me because I met all of their expectations except for the age standard. Stupid humans and their aging. I'll say it again: Finding a job is hard.
After a while, I decided to take a break and call up Cinder. Luckily, she wasn't busy so she decided to come over to my house. I prepared some snacks before she came and when she arrived, I immediately felt relieved. I gave her a hug and invited her inside.
"Long time no see, huh?"
"I guess you could say that."
"How have you been?"
"I'm good. I'm just a little sad that I had to send Blake away for the winter."
"Oh right, the whole job search thing. How's that going?"
"I can't really say. I've been to numerous places, but it doesn't seem like they're interested."
"Where did you apply to?"
"Some schools, hospitals, and other small clinics. That's the best I can do. It's just that because of my age, it's making things difficult."
"Don't worry. I'm sure something will come your way. You just have to stay patient." I've been trying to think like that this entire time, but the way Cinder said it made me actually believe it. My heart started to calm and my body lessened the shake it's been doing for the past few days. "Also, I've been kind of bored by myself."
"Haha, I've kind of figured. I did keep you quite occupied back at your place."
"Um, this may seem kind of weird coming from me, but… Would you ever consider coming back to my place?"
"To visit? Of course. Whenever I have time…"
"No, that's not what I meant. When all of this is over, would you… Would you like to stay with me?" My eyes widened.
"Cinder?" She leaned in closer to me and put her hand underneath my chin. "W-What are you doing?"
"I don't know. Ever since that night you asked me to be by your side, something changed inside of me. I hope you don't think badly about me because of this,"
"No, it's just that… I don't think I'm ready for love just yet."
"That's fine. Just let me show you how I feel." She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against mine. Immediately, I felt so warm. Her lips were so soft and she felt so comforting. I slowly moved my hands behind her back and held her close. When she broke away for air, I quickly kissed her back and knocked her onto her back.
"Alex, I wasn't intending to take it any further than that, but…"
"I know. I just thought I would tell you how I felt." Cinder's eyes show wide open.
"But you just said… So, does that mean…"
"Yes… But how about you stay here. It's in a pretty good area and there's tons of space."
"Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't have offered unless I was absolutely sure." Cinder smiled. I returned the favor.
"You know, that was the first time I've actually seen you smile. You have a beautiful smile." My face immediately turned red by her compliment and yet, I liked it.
…
When school resumed again, it was time for Blake to start applying to the colleges she wanted to. This was when I couldn't really disrupt her since this was a stressful time of her life. If she didn't get into the college she wanted, there was no doubt that she would be crushed. I did everything I could to support her. I also kept it a secret that Cinder was moving. She didn't need to know that detail at the time. And plus, Cinder mostly worked graveyard anyway so there was no proof that she was even there.
Back at school, it was getting to that point where everyone was starting to say their goodbyes. I was getting a lot more than expected. There were even some students who I didn't even know who still came to my room to wish me farewell. Tears were shed and I was still unable to hold them in. Being such an impact to these students was the greatest joy in life as a teacher. I would be able to leave with a smile on my face.
Months went by and the end of the semester finally approached. Prom came around and Sun didn't disappoint yet again. One night, we ordered pizza and when we looked inside, the word "prom" was written in pepperoni. He ended up joining us for dinner which was very nice. Not long after that day, Blake got her acceptance letter into Beacon Academy. Another interesting thing was that Sun applied to the same place and got in as well. If anyone was going to go to the same college as Blake, Sun would definitely be that choice for me.
For the end of the year assembly, I was lucky enough to get recognized as one of the staff that is moving on to other things. Since there weren't a lot of people leaving, the principal gave us some time to speak our minds. When it was my turn, I honestly had a hard time.
"Thank you. I just wanted to say that it was an honor to be your school nurse."
"We love you Ms. Belladonna!"
"I love you too!" I don't know why I called out to that person, but it caused a huge uproar in the auditorium. Everyone started to cheer and cry at the same time. "I'm sorry. Back to what I was saying. I'm, uh… I'm glad I got to watch everyone grow and I got to work with so many great people. I'll be moving on to new things and I hope that you all find what you long to do in your lives. High school is just a stepping stone. Use this to find yourself and after that, you'll know where you belong. Thank you so much and I wish you all the best of luck.
"Thank you for everything!" At that moment, everyone stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I didn't know how to react. I definitely couldn't hold back the tears so I walked out to the edge of the stage and bowed.
That day was incredibly sad. I don't think I could ever forget.
…
The day of graduation came around. We both had an early start. However, that was when I couldn't hide it any longer. When I started making breakfast and Blake was watching her morning TV, Cinder walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"Um, mom, why's Cinder here?"
"Oh, she didn't tell you. I'm living here now."
"And when were you going to tell me this?"
"I was. I just didn't really know how to approach it."
"It's fine. I like Cinder."
"Aw, well I like you too Blake." I quickly finished up breakfast and we all ate together for the first.
During the middle of the day, nothing really happened. We stayed quiet since any word about graduation would probably make us cry. The time went on forever. Part of me wanted to get to graduation and the other part wanted me to do something that would prevent it from ever happening. Unfortunately, time goes on without a care about how I feel. Blake came out in her blue gown and I nearly broke down in tears.
"Gosh, you look so beautiful."
"Thank you. I'm so nervous."
"You'll be fine."
"Yeah, we'll be there supporting you the entire time."
"Thank you Cinder."
"Alright, well, we should get going. I need to pack up my things. I don't want to be late to the ceremony. Also, you can get a chance to spend time with your friends before it's over."
"Okay, then let's go." The three of us piled into the car and headed off to school.
When we got there, Blake quickly ran off to the gymnasium where everyone was waiting. On the other hand, Cinder and I walked over to my room. When we got there, I already had my things in boxes so all we needed to do was carry them back to the car. Cinder was the first one to grab a box. I was a little slower since I wanted to take in the air of my room one last time. However, I was quickly interrupted. I turned around to see Yang in the doorway.
"Yang, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the…"
"I came to see you."
"Yang, I thought I told you…"
"I can't. I just can't." Tears started to run down her face. "I love you. Why can't you see that?"
"Yang, I've told you this before. You have a long life ahead of you. I don't want to be the one who holds you back from the person you were truly destined to be."
"But you're the one who I'm destined to be with." I suddenly gripped her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes.
"Yang! That's what you want to think. I'm sorry I have to say this, but you need to grow up. I'm sure that there is someone out there who will sweep you off your feet. It's just not me." Her body suddenly relaxed. She bowed her head and started to whimper. "How about you let someone else give you their heart? You never know what'll happen. That's what love truly is. It's simply a mystery." She looked up and wiped her tears.
"But… I love you." I let go of her shoulders and brushed her hair out of her face.
"You may not know it, but you have a fragile heart. Let someone else take care of you. I know you'll be happy when that happens." I hugged her one last time and she squeezed me as tight as she could. "Now head over to the gym. Everyone's waiting for you."
"Alright, what else is there?" Cinder walked in with such grandeur.
"Um, just grab that box and we'll be done." I grabbed my box and headed out of the room for the last time, not looking back or remembering the events that occurred in that room.
…
Summer went by too quick. Blake and I did everything together, but it just felt like time went by even quicker. Getting Blake ready for college took the majority of the time and I didn't want it to happen. I tried slowing things down, but Blake was persistent that she could do everything herself.
When it was time to take her to school, I was in tears. Cinder came with us, but I just couldn't handle. I cried all the way there, the entire time I moved her into her dorm, and for every other moment of that day. That day also went by too quick. When dusk came upon us, it was time to say goodbye.
"Alright, I guess it's time to go. Give mommy a hug," I said with tears rolling down my face. Blake entered my arms and I trapped her with all of my strength.
"It's going to be alright, mom. I'll be fine. You can let me go now."
"No, I can't. Please be quiet." Blake tried to escape my grasp, but it was impossible. She was testing the true strength of a mother and it was proving to be worthless.
"Mom, please, this is getting embarrassing." That hug lasted a few more minutes until Cinder came in between us to finally split us up.
"Wait, why would you do that?"
"You need to say goodbye. That was it." I looked at Cinder and cried even more.
"You're horrible."
"I'm sorry. Hey Blake, good luck. I know you'll love it here."
"Thanks. And you, take care of my mom. I trust you."
"Haha, don't worry." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "She'll be in good hands."
"Okay, bye." I raised my head to see her walk into her room. I reached out my arm, but Cinder was there to bring it back down. I looked up at her and she was smiling at me. "You've done such a great job as her mother. No matter what, she'll think of you as her hero and nothing else. Everything else is up to her."
"Yeah, you're right."
"Come on. Let's go home." She kissed me on the forehead and we got back into the car.
I said goodbye to a major part of my heart, but at the same time, it was filled by another important part that I was finally ready to accept.
The End
Ending Note: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all enjoyed this story. I had a bumpy start, but I slowly got into the story and things just flowed out of me. If you could, I would love to hear what you guys think: Good or bad. Your comments help me grow and in the future, I hope to give you a story you all can be happy about. Once again, it was a pleasure to write this for you and I hope you all continue to visit my stories every once in a while.