Woa, it's been a long time since my last update of this story. These days, I've been so obsessed with Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Harry Potter that I nearly forgot about this story. If you have time, please come and have a look at my KHR and Harry Potter stories.

And also, thanks a lot for your review and continuous support. It always fills me with so much happiness to see you like my story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basket for it belongs to Fujimaka Tadatoshi.

Enjoy the story. R&R, plz!

Chapter 14: Life was so unfair

Much as he enjoyed the fact that he was always right, Akashi sometimes found it distressingly annoying that his prediction always came true. The urge to mutilate someone with his scissors also increased day by day with the incoming wave of BL fans' baseless delusion.

It was truly miracle, or utter apocalypse, that by the end of the week all of the staffs in Akashi's mansion had been successful converted into raging AkaKuro shippers, courtesy of the leaked video and photos of him and Kuroko locked in a passionate embrace that- according to those rabid shippers- was the ultimate sign of them "imprinting" each other. What the hell was "imprinting" anyway?

For a stupid moment of his life, Akashi decided to take a look at the photos that had caused such chaos and decided to spend a minute of his life lamenting how utterly stupid he looked.

Even though it was a low-quality shot taken by cell phone, Akashi could clearly see how dry his lips were- maybe he should start using chapstick. His hair looked so messy that it looked more like a crow nest. And worse of all, it had to capture the moment when he released his embrace from Kuroko. His two hands were frozen in mid-air, conjuring up the image of a gay T-Rex… Wait, why did his mind think of a T-Rex- a gay one when a normal one already looked gay? Oh sweet yaoi, this was proof he was slowly going nuts in this mansion…

Akashi didn't like where his train of thought led him to.

On the other hand, his fiancé looked totally adorable in that shot.

His blue eyes were glazed, reflecting light giving off a dreamy look and there was a faint hue of pink dusting his plump cheeks. And Kuroko's lips was just as delicious as usual- in Akashi's less than humble opinion, nobody should have that pink of a pair of lips. So pink, so smooth…

"Urgh", Akashi shredded the photo by his scissors, ignoring the maid's horrified scream and her mourning for the picture's loss. The redhead's delight in seeing the maid suffer was short-lived as she quickly bounced back and skipped to the kitchen asking for another copy from her friends

And that was not the worst that the Akashi heir had to face.

After the next week, the Akashi mansion was still bustling with the yaoi material they acquired. Seriously, the maids were trading the photos like trading cards and some heavily edited versions, one of which had Kuroko and him disrobed completely had magically popped up on the market and caused quite a rage among the staff. Such was the severity of the situation that Akashi eventually had to resort to asking his butler Cedric to clean up the yaoi infestation in his mansion. The man succeeded and Akashi was pleased.

Little did the redhead know that poor Cedric had been infected with yaoi virus and had been converted into a dedicated follower of AkaKuro cult and that both him and the other staff in the mansion had come to a mutual agreement that such pictures should be treated no less than the national treasure. Yup, no holy scissors could save the butler now.

Also, it had been discovered that apparently every maid in his house had amazing drawing skill and apparently vivid imagination, especially when it came to R-18 fantasy. And so, for the next few days, Akashi had, for many a times, caught glimpse of several inappropriate doujinshies of him and Kuroko that he sincerely doubted any respectable publisher would ever print.

In brief, Akashi was slowly descending into the black hole called "insanity", and he needed to do something quick before he officially snapped and turned his house into a bloodbath.

After minutes of brainstorming, the redhead finally came up with a solution.

The next day, Akashi gathered collectively all the doujinshis and pictures into his backyard and made a bonfire out of them. They made very good fuel, Akashi mused. The atmosphere was so dim that he had his mother-appearing through her ever trusty portable LCD screen carried by her trustworthy Y.A.O.I squad- and maids join him.

He didn't remember inviting them.

Soon after that, the bonfire turned into some kind of crematory ritual in which everyone, except Akashi, mourned for the passing of the R-18 AkaKuro pictures and doujinshies. The crowd of fujoshies and fudanshies gathering around the bonfire were so crazy that he had to restrain them from stopping him with electric fences, newly installed just for this purpose.

The fences certainly prevented them from entering but was definitely not sound-proof.

"No, not the BDSM one", Ayumi screamed when she saw her son throwing the doujinshi whose cover had Kuroko in some questionable skimpy attire into the fire.

"NOOOO, that one has AkaKuro as brothers. That is some juicy incest there". Akashi rolled his eyes as he tossed another horrifying piece of junk into the bonfire.

It was very soon that the Akashi heir got tired of listening to the screaming and decided to dump the whole barrel of R-18 stuffs into the roaring fire, taking sadistic pleasure in his mother's and the maids' horrified screaming.

The next day, fanfictions and doujinshis were back at full force. They multiplied like rabbits, except at the speed that could make rabbits green in envy.

Akashi repeated the process. He gathered the comics. Burned them. People gathered again. He didn't invite them.

After many days of tireless pursuit and extermination of infestation, Akashi came to a painful conclusion that he could never erase the yaoi infestation from his house, or the world on a larger scale, and that if he tried to get rid of them, they just came back many magnitudes worse.

Life was so unfair.

-o0o-

"And then he barged into the room, like a dashing armored prince of a fairy tale, and rescued me from the Evil Sailor Quartet", Kuroko told his best friend Kagami via webcam in his usual monotonous voice, "He even blindfolded me before he proceeded to punish those people so as to avoid exposing me to such "violence content". That is what I called a man!"

Across the screen, in the other part of the world, Kagami was having the most unimpressed expression on his face. The spoon containing a piece of the oversized parfait was hung in midair near the redhead's open mouth.

"Yeah, Tetsu, and this is what I called a parfait!". Sarcasm was obvious in Kagami's tone. He scooped up a spoonful of the sweet treat and put it in his mouth. "You know, every time I chat with you, you are always talking about your fiancé. Oooh, Akashi-kun is so gentle! He's so dreamy! Ooooh, this morning, when I was making breakfast, I found a potato that looked just like Akashi-kun! Seriously, Tetsu, if you love him that much, why don't you just call him Seijurou-kun?"

Kuroko leveled Kagami with a "Are-you-kidding-me?" look and started, "Taiga-kun, a proper spouse should never impose on his other half with such trivial matter. Think about it, Taiga-kun, If I call him his given name, it will arouse suspicion from other, which will no doubt affect his reputation. As his fiancé, it is my duty to uphold his image and reputation and support him through thick and thin though I really want to call him Sei-kun."

"Only when you meet Akashi-kun will you understand his charm, Taiga-kun", Kuroko droned on dreamily- in Kuroko's case, his dreamy looks consisted of his signature poker face and his eyes looking anywhere but the conversation partner; years of being exposed to Kuroko's poker expressions had honed Kagami's skill at distinguishing such expressions to mastery level, "He is such a fine man. Though I haven't seen his body yet, I'm certainly it is very well-toned. I could feel it when he hugged me so tightly and it was hidden behind his shirt and blazer. He was a real man, a symbol of masculinity and testosterone. In fact, he has so much testosterone that it awakens my inner estrogen and my voice when I'm around him suddenly goes soprano. That just shows how manly he is."

At this point, Kagami's face looked like someone who walked into the classroom, mentally prepared to do an English test, only to find out the test was about Ancient Egyptian language.

"I wonder if it was testosterone or helium that that Akashi guy was emitting. Well, I just hope this fiancé of his will remember Tetsu faster. At least, it will spare me from hearing this boring lecture about how great he is", Kagami thought while continuing munching his parfait.

"So, have you won any basketball matches lately, Taiga-kun?", Kuroko asked, eager to know if his ex-partner still kept his winning streak, though it was rather unlikely due to Kagami being such a basketball idiot.

To Kuroko's surprise, the basketball boy just shook his head tiredly.

"Neh, these days, I've been too busy with the exams to play any match. In fact, my father has even banned me from going to the court. At least, today is the last day. Tomorrow I'm gonna head down the court with Tatsuya to catch up some games."

"So how is your exam?"

"Been good so far. In fact, it's even better than I expected. All thanks to the Tarot card that I bought."

"Tarot cards?", Kuroko tilted his head in a questioning manner.

"Ah, I bought those tarot cards on one trip with Tatsuya to the fair. At first, just for fun but it turned out to be freaking amazing. On the night before my Math test, I just took them out to, you know, fool around to relieve some stress. I followed the instruction and did my fortune-telling for the next day. What do you know, it showed me that I was gonna have a test about triangle and Pygota… Pyramid Theorem or something. And the freaky thing was…it came true. My Math focused mostly on triangle, the only part that I bothered to review."

"Isn't it just some pure coincidence?", Kuroko asked suspiciously.

"That's what thought at first, too; however, it just kept being correct every time I made the fortune telling for the next day. That was when I came to the conclusion that I must have some talent as a fortune teller", Kagami stated cheerfully and devoured the last piece of his parfait while Kuroko maintained his infamous poker face.

Then, the redhead pulled a deck of Tarot card out of nowhere and proceeded to scatter it across the table. "Here, let me show you what your fortune will be."

After a few minutes of answering weird questions of Kagami, Kuroko found himself puzzled at the redhead's proclamation.

"According to the cards, tomorrow sees the coming of sunshine; seeds that was already there will begin to thrive; a messed up scenario, rainbow will walk towards the shadow; colors playing their own serenade, a Capriccio that doesn't harmonize."

In the end, Kuroko dismissed Kagami's fortune telling as a way to pass the free time; however, little did he know how terrifyingly accurate Kagami's statement would be.

-o0o-

A new day had arrived at the humble Akashi household. The maids and butlers were running around tending to their duties diligently. The young Akashi heir had just woken up from a nice dream and was currently walking down the hall to the kitchen, where he would able to see his beloved fiancé. When he opened the grand door, he could smell a sweet delightful aroma of his favorite food, toufu soup, permeating in the air.

Standing near the stove in his glorious frilly pink apron was none other than HIS-yup, every bold letters needed- super duper adorable fiancé, Kuroko Tetsuya. What a lonely and homey sight to behold! He was decorating the bento with skillfully-carved vegetables with such a cute concentrated expression. Smirking, Akashi s approached the unsuspecting bluenette, wrapped his arms around the other's slender waist and successfully jolted him out of his concentration.

"Ah, Akashi-kun", Kuroko gasped cutely when Akashi buried his face in the other's neck and teasingly bit it.

"Seriously, Tetsuya, are you trying to seduce me?", the red-haired heir purred seductively, causing Kuroko to shiver involuntarily.

"I…ah…I am making breakfast for…ah…you", Kuroko said between his moaning, trembling slightly as Akashi's magical hand roamed under the bluenette's apron and white shirt, feeling his chest.

Suddenly the bluenette found himself staring the red orbs that he had come to love so much.

They stood there, lost themselves in one another's gaze. They loved each other. They desired each other. Akashi cupped the other's cheeks in his hands and stared straight into the other's eyes.

"Akashi-kun?"

"I think it's time I told you the truth, Tetsuya. The truth about my feelings." Akashi said with such a serious tone that Kuroko couldn't help but feel weak in the knees.

"Don't worry, Akashi-kun. Even though you haven't said it, as you wife, I have always known it", Kuroko wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck.

"Tetsuya, you are and will always be my wife. It's a bit late but I've just realized that I'm a flaming homosexual. And you know that before I'm gay, I am a man and men at my age have needs. Lots of needs. Besides a wife, I also need a man as my BFF, a.k.a best fuck friend. Much as I love to make you my B.F.F, I just can't bring myself to do it." Akashi dramatically put a hand on his forehead. "You see, I don't want to taint you pure canvas."

"Don't worry, Akashi-kun. I understand how you feel", Kuroko expressed sympathetically.

"However, I think there is one person that is worthy of being my B.F.F. Such charisma, such sexiness, such amazing power, yup there's nobody who can be more suitable than him. So, if I were to ever need a B.F.F, then…", Akashi leaned his face closer to Kuruko, "I would love to have the Ice King. He's just so sexy."

"Oh, what a coincidence. I love the Ice King, too, Akashi-kun", Kuroko exclaimed joyfully and hugged Akashi closer.

Then, both of them leaned themselves into a mind-blowing passionate kiss that caused the windows to explodes into confetti and glitters.

A rainbow unicorn flew through the windows and made a heart-shape background for the couple.

"Be prepared, Ice King, we're coming for you". Akashi shouted excitedly while holding his fiancé close to his chest.

Then, the lovely couple walked into the sunset and into a great journey, searching for their B.F.F, the Ice King.

-o0o-

Akashi woke up with a jolt, face pale as sheet, his knuckles turning white due to grabbing the sheet too hard. Sweat ran down his handsome face as he attested his surroundings and realized that what he just experienced was no more than a dream. A terrible dream. A nightmare.

It was so traumatizing that he wouldn't dare look down to find any abnormal activities of his lower half. Because if he did so, he would have to come to terms with the realization that he had disturbing nightmare about a kid's TV show.

Therefore, he settled with venting his anger by screaming.

"DAMN YOU, MOTHER. I'LL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR MOVIE RECOMMEDATION EVER AGAIN. REALLY, OF ALL THINGS, ADVENTURE TIME."

Downstairs, Kuroko was preparing breakfast and lunchboxes for him and his fiancé.

"Akashi is such energetic man", completely with a shy poker face.

-o0o-

"Hey, Tetsu, are you…?"

"Daiki, stop slacking off. 10 laps around the court."

"What, but I just finished 10 laps…"

"20 laps. Continue slacking and I will double you regime."

"Damn."

And Aomine grumpily restarted his run around the court while other players chose to stay away as far as possible from the ganguro and the red-haired vice-captain. It seemed this was one of those days that their esteemed Vice-captain got up on the wrong side of the bed. It was well-known fact in Teiko that whenever Akashi was in his notorious bad mood, it was advisable to keep a far distance from the redhead or else… well you could imagine the rest.

"Nijimura-senpai, stop finding opportunity to molest Haizaki. If you want to touch him that badly, then be guest and go to the storage. We have got all the equipment we want, so feel free to use it."

At this point, Nijimura's and Haizaki's faces were as red as a tomato and the silverette punched the raven for having been careless to fall and drag him into a compromising position. After that, murmur of "Niji-hentai" could be heard much to the annoyance of Haizaki and embarrassment of Nijimura.

Kuroko was currently practicing his shooting skill with Midorima, who looked as if he wanted to tear off his hair in frustration. After the greenette told him to have a break, the bluenette immediately went to the redhead's place.

"What's the matter, Akashi-kun? You seem a bit off today. Are you feeling unwell?", Kuroko asked concernedly.

Thoughts of his unpleasant morning came back with a vengeance. If it hadn't been for his self-control, he would have let an ugly cringe mar his face, which would no doubt worry his fiancé.

"It was nothing, Tetsuya. Just a case of a mild headache. Nothing that an Aspirin pill could not kill", a disarming smile crossed his handsome features, but Kuroko was not fazed a bit.

Kuroko knew that the redhead was not honest with him; nevertheless, not wanting to intrude on Akashi's wish to stay secret, he opted to give a nod and a good health's wish. The ever helpful fiancé made a mental note to make a banana pie, whose secret recipe he had learned from Kagami at the States, for dinner's dessert. Not only was it delicious but it also helped relax the blood vessels and eased the pain, which was good for heachache.

It was then that Kuroko noticed that someone was standing at the gym door, looking at the court with poorly-hidden admiration and anticipation, with their manager Momoi, who had been missing from the beginning of the practice. However, Kuroko quickly recognized that person was Kise Ryota, the famous student model at Teiko due to his easily recognizable blond hair and dazzling appearance.

The pinkette leaned in to tell something to the blond, who nodded and proceeded to head towards Nijimura's place. This, of course, caught the interest of every player in the court. Even Akashi had to stop what he was doing to watch the model.

Despite the unnerving attention, Kise managed to stay composed, holding his head high and his posture confident until he reached his destination. Finally, he stopped in front of the basketball captain, made a polite bow and spoke confidently to the black-haired upperclassman.

"My name is Kise Ryouta. Can I join the basketball club?"

TBC

A harem is coming, babe :D!

Some readers commented that the story is kinda slow, well my answer is that this is a rom-com, which are 95% comedy and 5% plot progress. Anyway, I kinda ran out of idea when I wrote this, so I ended inserting some very dumb idea...

Before heading out, review please!