A/N: This chapter was written under the influence of I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin. It is also dedicated to my loyal reader and friend, Forever Siriusly Sirius. Her interest in this story delights me and reminds me that it's important to keep up with all of my many projects.

-C

She woke up to find the world was still turned upside down. Jenny sat up and looked over at Mary's empty bed. Her parents would know by now that she wasn't coming home ever again. Maybe they'd already seen the body. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to go to breakfast.

But Lily would make her.

So Jenny climbed out of bed, walked down to the common room, and just sat down on the couch, staring at the empty fireplace, waiting for someone to tell her what to do, because she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing with herself.

Getting through that first day was like getting through a knife to the chest. At breakfast Professor Dumbledore announced what had happened, without the bloody details, to the whole student body. He said that a notice of the event had been sent to parents.

And that was when everything began to change again.

Jenny was sitting with Anna in the common room when Tien came downstairs with Lily, carrying Tien's trunk between them. Sirius, who was with the Marauders over by the window, stood up and frowned.

"What are you doing?" cried Sirius.

"I'm leaving," whispered Tien, her eyes on her trunk. "My family is leaving the country."

Jenny looked down as well. Tien's family had been threatened in the past, yes, but none of them put much store by it until Mary's death. Now, even Hogwarts wasn't safe.

"You're leaving me?" Sirius whispered. Jenny felt guilty somehow, but she didn't know why. After all, she hadn't done anything that had led to this. She hadn't killed Mary. She hadn't threatened Tien's family.

Perhaps it was because she knew that her fiancé would be joining with the very same people who were turning all their lives to hell.

"Sirius, it's not safe for me here," Tien said. "And I know you like to think that you would be able to protect me from everything, but you can't, love. My family is going, and I have to go with them. Believe me, if there was any way I could stay, I would."

And with that, she kissed him in front of everyone. Jenny could see tears in the eyes of many of the onlookers. Mary's death was so incredibly fresh and everyone's emotions were on the surface. Jenny could feel the corners of her vision blurring as well, watching them kiss. Sirius looked so pitiful, so desperate, holding on to Tien, pulling her tightly against him as though he simply wasn't going to let go. Maybe that was his plan. Maybe he just wasn't going to let go of her, carry her up to his room and hide from the world forever.

But all too soon, Remus and James picked up her trunk and Tien pulled away sadly, following them out of the portrait hole. Jenny thought she would never see Tien cry, but as she left, Jenny noticed her red eyes and a single tear clinging to her cheek. Sirius, too, was crying. Sirius Black, Marauder, one of the bravest, strongest people in Hogwarts was standing in the middle of the crowded common room, all eyes on him, tears flowing freely down his face, his hands clenched tightly, and an expression like he was considering running after her, begging her to stay, or even going with her. He even took half a step forward before freezing again, confused and hurt.

Jenny sighed, walking up to him and taking his clenched fist in her hand and petting it until his fingers relaxed and she could lace hers through them. Wordlessly, she led him up the stairs to his dormitory, pulling him onto his bed and crawling onto it beside him, pulling his head into her lap and petting his soft, perfect hair.

"Shh," she whispered as he buried his face in her skirt, wrapping his arms around her legs and hugging them tightly as he sobbed. "Let it out, love," she cooed. "I know it hurts. Just go ahead and cry."

They stayed like that for hours, her softly babbling comforting nonsense, him crying into her skirt, sobbing and whimpering pathetically. Finally, he looked up at her face, his own red, blotchy and tearstained, and he said, "I think I loved her, JV. And she's gone. It's too late to tell her now."

By the time James, Remus and Peter came up for bed, Sirius was dozing on her, his head resting on her chest. Remus climbed into his own bed, the one next to Sirius's, and looked at them sadly.

"Uncomfortable?" he whispered. She nodded and he helped her lay Sirius gently down on his pillows and pulled his blankets over him. Jenny knew she should have left then, but she just stood there, looking down at Sirius, feeling Remus's presence so close to her. Then Remus led her to his own bed and they climbed in together, her pulling the covers up as he pulled the curtains around them.

"He's devastated," she whispered. "I wish there was something more I could do."

Remus shook his head and breathed back, "You're doing all you can, Jenny, but now you need sleep. Don't forget about you because of him."

Jenny looked up into Remus's lightly scarred face and felt a sudden pull somewhere behind her navel. Her hand moved of its own accord to the side of his face, and his eyes fluttered closed as she lightly traced the lines of his scars. Sirius's words about love in her mind, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, feeling him stiffen in shock, but he didn't pull away. In fact, his lips moved with hers, hungrily molding together. Suddenly, he pulled away, fear in his eyes.

"Jenny, we can't - "

"Remus," she whispered, "I know. Sirius loved her, Remus, but he never got a chance to say it. That isn't going to happen right now. I know we can't be together. I've always known that, Remus, but I feel something, and I don't want to sit there one day, regretting that I never said or did anything..."

He didn't say a word, but his lips came crashing back into hers, more eager than before, his tongue already begging for entry. She opened her mouth and their tongues danced together, exploring each other, tasting each other. She moaned slightly into his mouth and he rolled her over onto her back in the passion of the moment. Jenny allowed him to strip her uniform off desperately, as she pulled his t-shirt off and raked her nails down the front of his torso. He pulled off his own pajama pants, hovering over her, kissing her hungrily.

Without even fully realizing what was happening, she felt his hand snake around the back of her and fumble with the clasp on her bra. He was getting frustrated, and a low growl escaped his lips. She helped him out, unclasping the bra and allowing him to peel it off her. He let out another low growl, this one of lust, as he lowered his mouth to her left breast and began kissing it, his hand kneading the other. Jenny let out a sigh in spite of herself as his tongue began tracing patterns, his free hand thumbing her through the thin lace material of her panties. Her hands worked their way into his hair of their own accord, forcing him closer as he began sucking and biting lightly. She threw back her head at the pleasure of the feeling.

"Remus," she sighed, and he groaned against her skin.

"Jenny," he whispered, "if I don't stop now, I won't be able to..."

"Don't," she moaned, "please, Remus, don't stop."

Her eyes met his, and she was surprised that the flames passing between them didn't set the bed on fire, that the fire of his touch didn't destroy her. Why had they waited so long...?

In one swift motion, he pulled off her lace panties, before removing his own boxers. In the shadows of the curtained four-poster, she couldn't see his length, but her hand reached out and she could feel it, hard thick and veined. He hissed at her touch, and as she ran a single finger lightly along his length, he let out a low, sensual moan.

"I've never done this before," he breathed. His voice was even shaking and she hoped it was out of anticipation.

"Nor have I," she admitted, before sliding down the bed a little and taking him in her mouth, amazed at her own boldness. He hissed again as she moved up and down his whole length twice, removing her mouth from him, his taste all over her tongue and teeth. Remus hovered over her, preparing to enter.

"W-will it hurt?" she muttered nervously.

"I-it might," he muttered, his hands shaking as they gripped her thighs. She knew he was doing exactly what she was doing: trying to remember everything Sirius had ever said about sex. "J-just l-let me know if you want me to stop, okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered, her voice sounding as though it was coming from someone else.

Remus moved so that he was pressed against her entrance, poised and ready to press in. He took her hands in his, and just as he thrust forward, he pressed his lips to hers in a demanding kiss.

It did hurt. She whimpered into his mouth, grasping his hands so tightly she though they might break, and he didn't move, waiting for her to relax again. As she did, he began to move in and out of her slowly, exploring her mouth as he went. The pain began to subside and a small moan of pleasure was caught in his mouth. She could feel him sigh into hers, and he picked up his speed gradually, growling and groaning into her mouth. She knew she was close and pulled out of the kiss, moaning his name. With a gasp, he came, and she felt her own walls clenching around him. They panted and gasped as he pulled out of her, wrapping his arms around her sweaty body and pulling her tightly to him and kissing her forehead.

"Now we know," she whispered, cuddling into his bare chest.

"Now we know," he repeated, sighing and pulling the covers over their naked bodies. Jenny slipped into the most peaceful sleep she had had in months.

"JV!"

Jenny blinked, her eyes bleary with sleep. Who was calling her name?

"Jenny!"

Whoever it was screamed her name as though they were dying. She groaned and turned over into a wall of flesh. Jenny blinked and looked up into Remus's face. He, too, was just waking up, and with a slight look of hesitation, he pressed his lips softly to hers, lacing his fingers through her hair.

"Jenny! Jenny!"

"Padfoot, what the hell are you on about? What are you doing?"

"Jenny's gone!"

There was silence. Remus and Jenny were only barely listening anyway. They were a bit preoccupied.

"She was here when we went to sleep..."

"They couldn't have gotten her in here, though?"

"We prank them in their rooms all the time..."

"Maybe she went back to her own room."

"Guys, please, I need to find her! This can't happen twice! Jenny!"

Jenny sighed, pulling free of Remus.

"Just a damn minute!" she cried, shooting Remus an apologetic look and searching the sheets for her clothes. Before she had found them, however, the curtains were being pulled back from the bed and she squealed, scrambling under the covers.

"Bloody hell, guys!" roared Remus. "Was that really necessary?"

James, Sirius and Peter were staring down at them, blinking, mouths agape, looking more stunned than she had ever seen them. Then, Sirius seemed to recover more or less and gave a celebratory cheer.

"All right Mooney and Jenny! You're now required to name your first child after me!"

"Excuse me?" gasped Jenny.

There would be no children, that was absolutely certain. If she hadn't been so flustered and horrified she might have hit him.

"Don't congratulate them, Sirius!" cried James frantically. "She just about put me through a heart attack! Don't disappear like that again, Avery! And Remus, check in with us next time so we know she hasn't been killed."

"There isn't a next time," said Remus sheepishly, with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"What" said Sirius. "You just shagged her and dumped her? What the hell, Mooney, I thought you were better than that!"

"Sirius, it's not like that," sighed Jenny. "We're not together. We just didn't want any regrets later."

Sirius looked at her sadly, shaking his head. She knew he was disappointed in her. But she wasn't him. They were similar, but their situations just weren't the same. In a way, she knew he understood that, but he didn't want to acknowledge that the difference mattered. He wasn't of the slightest concern to his family anymore, while her family spent much of their energy attempting to control and punish her.

"C'mon, guys," he spat out. "Let them get dressed."

He pulled the curtains closed again and Jenny sat there, shocked. She looked around for her clothes again, but before she found them, Remus pinned her down on his bed again, a sad look on his face. She gazed up into his eyes, stunned.

"As soon as you put your clothes back on," he breathed in her ear, "all of this is over. I just want it to last a bit longer, please."

With a small smile, Jenny allowed Remus to kiss her, touch her, memorize her body. She did the same to him. This moment had to last them the rest of their lives, which would hopefully be a very long time.