Hey y'all! Again, sorry for not updating in about a hundred years! I suck. Hopefully I'll have more time and energy to write after next week which is the last week before summer vacation! This chapter is a followup for the last one. I knew while writing the last one that this had to be written too. I'm not sure it turned out exactly like I wanted, but here it is anyway. Happy reading!
As I place my hairbrush on the table next to my side of the bed -our bed, my mind adds- I can't help but smile. As expected, officially moving out of my apartment was.. emotional, for the lack of a better word. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to move in with Castle, of course not, but leaving that apartment meant leaving a big part of my life behind. I've worked hard to get to the place where I am now, as the person I am today, and being with Castle, completely being with him, is one of the things that makes it all worth it.
I'm just about to climb into bed when I catch movement from the corner of my eye.
'Speak of the devil.' I murmur to myself and again, can't keep the smile off of my face as I move to the bookshelves and to my husband standing in front of them.
He's holding a copy of his own book in his hand. One of the Derrick Storm ones. He doesn't seem to notice me standing a foot away from him just yet, he seems too preoccupied with whatever is currently going on in his mind and making his brow furrow in the way it only does when he's deep in thought. I watch him a few seconds longer until I just have to ask.
'What's going on in that crazy mind of yours?'
He quickly lifts his eyes from the cover of the book and turns to look at me. He looks a bit puzzled but a soft smile graces his lips as soon as I finish my sentence.
He turns the book around in his hands a couple of times and lets out a light laugh.
'Just thinking.' He replies softly.
'Yeah, I could tell.' I reply as I take a step closer to him. 'What were you thinking about? Finally realized you shouldn't have killed off Derrick Storm?'
'Hey, I'll have you know that we would not be here if it weren't for me killing off Derrick Storm.' He defends himself and also steps a bit closer to me, the book still in his hands.
'Hmm maybe so.' I say as I wrap my arms around his middle, and look up at him.
'But really, are you okay?'
He looks at me for a second before pressing a kiss onto my hairline.
'Yeah I'm okay, great even. I was just thinking about.. about the alternate universe dream I had while I was unconscious, you know the one where you wore a skirt to the precinct.'
I roll my eyes. 'Of course that's the part you will forever remember from the dream. What happened to me being the captain of my own precinct?'
Castle laughs softly. 'All I'm saying is, I wouldn't mind seeing you in a skirt.'
'You've seen me in a skirt plenty, mister.'
'Touché, Mrs. Castle.' He replies, and we both smile at the name he's made a habit of using for me.
'No, actually, something else about the dream, I just remembered, got me thinking..'
I wait patiently, knowing he'll finish his sentence once he finds the right words.
'You said something.. Well, the skirt wearing you said something that.. For a second I thought it was real until I realized I just remembered it from the dream.' He finally states.
The look in his eyes is something I can't quite read. He's explained to me, in great detail one might add, about this alternate universe dream, that he for the longest time insisted was real. He admitted to him being a failed writer in that universe and that he and Alexis had fallen apart, to which I of course replied with reassuring words about that not actually being a possibility, since those two have the weirdest yet sweetest relationship I've ever witnessed between a child and a parent.
He explained it all to me, but now it seems he remembered something about it that's bothering him. The things he's already told me about this dream have been quite colorful to say the least (Lanie pregnant? Her face was priceless when I mentioned that to her!), I can only imagine the things my husband's overly creative imagination might've come up with.
'What did I say? In your dream, I mean.' I ask.
He takes a slow breath before speaking.
'The other you mentioned waiting in line to get a Derrick Storm book signed by me, and for some reason, when I thought of it after waking up, I thought you, my you, had said it. I don't know..' He explains to me quickly while rubbing the back of his head with the hand that is not currently holding a book.
It's my turn to take a deep breath. I knew this day would come, I knew I had to, at one point, tell him this story, yet it still feels weird standing here now, with my husband, getting ready to explain to him how we met before we actually met.
'Oh. That's.. Interesting.' Is the only thing I managed to get out.
'Yeah, I know, I don't even know why I was confused.' He looks at his feet.
'Well.. I definitely haven't said that.'
'I know.'
'But, uh.. It did still happen.' I finally breath the words out.
He looks stunned. He opens his mouth to speak but then closes it again. Finally, as he opens his mouth again after a few seconds, words do come out.
'You.. What?'
Well, only two words but words nonetheless. I figure it's my job to do the talking for a little while.
I take a deep breath before I speak.
'It was years ago. A few years after mom was killed. I.. Stood in line in a crowded little bookshop for over an hour to get a copy of the newest Derrick Storm novel signed by you.'
He opened his mouth to say something but I covered it with my index finger.
'No, let me.. Let me tell you this. I need to since I didn't get to do it then.' I whisper. He nods and waits for me to continue. I gather my thoughts for a minute. I want him to know this. I trust him. Heck, I love him. I've just never really explained to anyone how much his books really meant, well mean, to me.
'I waited for over an hour. I.. I loved the book and sure, getting your signature was great but mostly I did because.. Because I wanted to tell you how much your books meant to me. I know we always joke about me being your biggest fan but Rick.. Reading your books with my mom, are one of the best memories I have with her. We talked about them for hours. And after she was gone.. Reading them helped me. It did. More than I can ever explain. And I wanted to tell you that. But when I had the chance, I didn't get a word out. I don't know why, but I never said anything. I think I just about said 'hello' and 'thank you.' And maybe because.. Because as well as you can read me now, you did it back then too. You told me I was obviously not happy, that whatever was holding me back wouldn't be forever. And I couldn't understand how you could tell. Even back then, I was pretty good at keeping my poker face but you just knew.. And it meant so much to me. Do you know what you wrote in my book?' I finally ask him, my voice shaky from all the emotion I'm putting into my little speech.
Castle shakes his head, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
'Never let anything keep you from being the extraordinary person you're meant to be.' I tell him. 'That's what you wrote in my book all those years ago. And I never forgot that. Even after we met, and you annoyed me or hurt me.. I always remembered that. I will always remember that.'
There is a short silence in the room as I take a few breaths before finishing my speech and Castle just looks at me.
'So yeah, I did go to a book signing. And you.. You have no idea what you've done for me, even before you had any idea who I was. And I never got to thank you for that. You kind of saved me even before all the guns, bombs and freezers. You saved me Rick. Thank you.' I whisper and bury my head in his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, over mine and holds me close. We stay quiet for a few minutes, there's no need to say anything. Now he knows, and he knows he doesn't have to say anything about it, he knows I just needed to get it out.
Finally he speaks.
'Why did you never tell me?' He whispers.
'Honestly, I don't know. After we'd been working together for a little while, I kind of forgot about it. I mean.. You were kind of a jackass, unlike the guy I met at a bookstore.' I reply and Castle chuckles.
'I just.. I can't believe I can't remember you. The first time I met the love of my life and I can't even remember it.' He mumbles.
I move my head from his shoulder to look up at him.
'Castle, it was years before we met. And there were about 500 other women in the room. I said about two words to you. Why would you remember that?'
He sighs. 'I know, I know, I just.. It feels weird that you have that memory and I don't.'
'Well, we have quite a few memories together, don't we?' I say, lifting my chin up to touch my nose to his. He moves his head down a little bit to make the gesture easier.
'Yeah.' He breaths out, leaning his forehead against mine. 'We sure do.'
A review would be lovely. Motivates my writing. Seriously. -S