Dealing in Revenge

Chad Walker knew the school, inside and out. He ruled it.

He knew which teachers to sweet talk and which to avoid. Don't get on football star – Kevin Ringenberg's – bad side, he's heavy handed. He knew how to jiggle the lockers just right so that you didn't need the combination. That really pale freshman – Katie something – could 'accidentally' break your arm if she wanted to. He knew the best ways to sneak something you shouldn't have into school. Don't mess with Wimpy Will Cyrus or you'll get Captain Latin America breathing down your neck. He knew where the dealers dawdled and where the poker games were held. Queen Bitch – Shelby Dean – started the worst gossip scandals in the history of the school, though the biggest scandal was probably her relationship history.

Chad didn't cause trouble, he instigated it.

Need anything? Chad has a business to run.

Athletes failing a course, Chad can get you some nerd's homework solutions: ten singles if you're a loyal customer. Want flyers secretly distributed without the teachers knowing where they came from, Chad has a few flunkies for that: twenty-five bucks for the job. Gossip, Chad's got you covered: a cheap steal for flat rate of five dollars.

No one ever nominated Chad Walker to run the show, he just took the reins. It was his. And that feeling went straight to his head. It's what some might call a power trip. It meant he got to throw his weight around.

And very little made him feel better than insulting Mabel Pines.

The girl was like a walking neon sign. One so big and bright and downright obnoxious that it hurt to look at. She was loud too. Earsplitting shrieks of excitement at the worst possible moments that made you jump and get embarrassed. Cheerful, helpful, thoughtful, sweet, kind, complimentary; she went against everything Chad stood for. And to top it off, she never asked for anything in return.

"Get that sweater out of a dumpster? There's crap stuck to it."

"Well, that's a sticker. And that's a pom-pom, and this one." she explained her clothing in detail, pointing to each decoration in turn.

But as much as tearing her down made him feel better…

"Better get to class, brace face, or they'll have to drag you there with a magnet."

"Awww, how sweet of you for being concerned with my punctuality." She smiled big and wide, batting her eyelashes.

It ticked him off…

"Stop singing before you give the whole school hearing damage."

"Songs are like hugs for the ears!" she pumped her arms, sliding across the cafeteria table like a rock star.

That his words…

"Kissing up to the teachers again? Maybe you want to lick their shoes while you're at it."

"I don't think that's the most effective method, but I do have some shoe shine in my locker." She tapped her chin thoughtfully, walking away as if she were considering the possibility.

Never seemed to get through to her!

One day, Chad would get that unremitting, Cheshire smile to fall of her face. Maybe her eyes would water as she tried to hold back tears. It's possible that she would run away to hide her embarrassment.

So he kept trying, day after day, coming up with something nastier to say every time.

Now, it hadn't escaped his notice that Mabel Pines had a brother. What kind of information broker would he be if he didn't know that? Chad just hadn't thought that the brother was significant. At least, not until Dipper Pines approached him.

It was in the boy's bathroom, tucked into an isolated corner of the second floor of the school: where he had established his business headquarters. Dipper Pines casually walked in just as he closed a deal with one of his regular clients. The client's gaze snapped between Chad and Dipper, sensing the atmosphere, before he slunk out the door. Anyone could tell, this wasn't a regular meeting.

Silence reigned as Chad studied the boy more closely. Dipper's stance was wide, his hands clenched. But Chad had no doubt he could take him if it came to a fight. His build was slight at best, like he was much more suited for desks and books. Try as he might, Chad didn't think that the boy's glare was the least bit intimidating.

"So, how may I help you?" Chad asked with his door-to-door salesman schmooze in full effect.

"Stop picking on my sister." Dipper answered lowly.

"What would you give me in return?"

"Mercy."

Chad laughed. That had to be the best joke he had heard in ages. "No deal, kid. You come with something better and I might consider your request." A shark-like grin stole across his face, "But I might not be willing to give up my favorite target."

The skin on Dipper's knuckles went white as his fists grew tighter. And for some odd reason, the temperature in the bathroom seemed to drop. The pipes under the sink clanged. The doors on the bathroom stalls quavered back and forth of their own accord. But as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

Taking a deep breath, Dipper said in an unnervingly normal voice, "Fine, have it your way." And he walked out of the bathroom without another word.

Chad wasn't scared. But that didn't change the fact that there was someone in his school that was rebelling against him. And just like he did everything in his power to stop the destructive cheerfulness of Mabel Pines, he needed to bring down the pig-headed insurrection of Dipper Pines.

"I've heard he's good at math." Rodney, one of his flunkies informed him.

"Let's find out just how good."

Appropriating a nerd's math homework was one of the most basic moves of an information broker: corner the target in the bathroom, let Rodney get the satisfaction of administering a swirly while he snapped a pic of the assignment, and give it back all in the course of five minutes. It was quick and easy.

This way Chad avoided detection. The nerd still had his homework to turn in. The solutions would be written in the client's own handwriting. And there would be no evidence of cheating.

But Chad couldn't put Dipper's work up for sale until he had confirmed that the kid consistently got good scores. He'd turn it in for himself for a few days; being able to guarantee a high average meant he could jack-up the price if need be.

Only Dipper's patience was nearly as short as his stature.

After only a week of "doing business" with Chad, he snapped.

Chad was seconds away from taking a picture of the day's homework assignment with his phone while Rodney was seconds away from dunking Dipper's head in the toilet when the freshman said in a nonchalant tone, "It's too bad I haven't been turning in my math homework lately."

Chuckling callously, Chad asked, "Why's that?"

Dipper's voice echoed strangely over the toilet, and yet he continued in a detached way, "It's gone missing every morning this past week. I'm not sure what to do."

Chad froze, "I've been putting it back."

An awkward movement that might've been a shrug came from the boy in the stall, "I told Mr. Baker that my homework disappeared. But luckily, he was kind enough to accept the digital copies that I make of the assignments for studying."

The implications of what Dipper was saying started to sink in.

"Mr. Baker said he was looking into it, since usually, I'm such a good student…" His voice trailed off as an announcement came over the school intercom.

"CHADWICK WALKER TO THE SCHOOL OFFICE. CHADWICK WALKER TO THE SCHOOL OFFICE."

"How long is the suspension term for stealing and cheating? A week." Dipper still sounded unmoved, but Chad could detect the slightest hint of malice. "Hmmm, that sounds like it would be bad for business."

Growling, Chad stuffed Dipper's homework back into the boy's book bag, not caring if it got crumpled and torn in the process. He stalked over to where Rodney had gone statuesque, though the flunky's hand still braced Dipper's head over the toilet. Chad was positively simmering as he hissed, "There is more than one way to pay for things. Rod, dunk him."

Dipper came up sputtering, and Chad got right in his face, "You think you can con me, freshman?"

Despite his curly, brown hair plastered to his face by foul water, the boy grinned.

It was a too big grin, showing too many teeth. It sent shivers down Chad's spine. And Dipper's voice was far too happy when he said, "Want to mess with my sister again? Try it. I dare you. I have so much more in store for you if you get curious. And I won't always be so nice."

Retribution. That's all Chad wanted. And right as he was pulling his arm back for a punch, the door of the boys' bathroom slammed open.

"Stop!" a girl – Tia King his brain supplied – commanded.

Glancing over his shoulder Chad snapped, "What are you going to do about it?"

The slight girl crossed her arms over her tiny chest. With the attitude to match she hotly retorted, "Track has only been in season three weeks and I already have four school records. I can run and get Katie and Mabel faster than you could hide your skinny, white ass. If that's what you want to deal with, then by all means, lay one finger on the snarky bookworm."

Rodney was shifting uncomfortably, and Chad realized he had lost his support. Already, his delay to show up to the office was confirming the administration's suspicions. To spread the icing on the cake, Dipper was smirking triumphantly. Chad was done for.

"C'mon." he mumbled to Rodney, who shoved Dipper into the stall wall and followed Chad out.

Over the thwack of the bathroom door settling closed, he heard Dipper mutter, "Thanks, but I was handling it myself."

"And that's why you're covered in toilet water." Tia snorted.

"I'll use a drying spell. Just don't tell Mabel."

Any other puzzling conversation was lost in the growing distance.

Chad discovered that an in-school suspension really was bad for business as his clients lost their trust in his ability to deliver safe information. He also found out that having a record made the administration even more watchful of his actions and repeat offenses became much easier to detect. Additionally, he learned that being an outcast become much more of an inconvenience when he didn't have the school at his fingertips.

And added to the repertoire of things Chad Walker now knew, it was that a vengeful Dipper Pines was a thing to be feared.

I hope this satisfied you Wild card in the deck ;)

I'm not super happy with how this one turned out. It was stubborn and didn't want to be written.

Also, I am so sorry about how long it has been since I've updated. School is really in full swing now and I'm super busy with my job, homework, and studying for entrance exams. My new goal will be to update once a week until I have exhausted all the ideas I have.

The past few chapters loosely reflect my headcanon that Mabel takes after Stan's pranking personality while Dipper ends up with his conman tendencies (as seen in the episode Boss Mabel when he run's the shack tours and in The Golf War when he sets up the Lilliputtians to help Mabel win). I tried to come up with a high-school related con, but I'm not sure it was very clear…

Thanks for reading.