Disclaimer: I'd sing "I Am Not Dead Yet" in celebration of updating, but Monty Python might sue me. Anyway, the last chapter I posted was actually just the first section of THIS chapter, which is now fully completed, so if you don't feel like reading it again just scroll down for awhile and you'll get to the new stuff J
"Feeling better now, Little Bro?"
Let's see; I invited- and, more importantly, paid, for the only guy in this solar system more physically attractive than I am (who just happens to be my brother) to come and steal my girlfriend, almost fiancé- why the Quox do I always wind up with psycho fiancés?- because he is so much more attractive than I am that girls fall over him on sight and completely forget I exist.
"I'm just peachy," Fiyero replied cheerily.
Willharry snorted and took another bite of his burger. They were at the McRonald's next to the nearest post office, as Avaric had insisted on sending their mother a telegram announcing their safe arrival (and he had vehemently forbade the two of them from sneaking into the ballet studio across the street in order to hit on the prettiest dancers, for which Fiyero was silently grateful.)
"Good," the elder prince replied, "Because you really had be scared with that whole maturity and growth thing."
"Oh, I don't know," Fiyero shrugged, pausing to sip his drink. "I mean, the last time I saw you, you might have pulled the whole Sarima Scare, but I know you wouldn't have owned up to it so quickly- that's a sign of progress."
"Uh-uh!" Willharry protested. "That was fair play- you'd already turned violet, your personal warning sign that a line is about to be crossed. And…" he let the word dangling in the air.
"Okay I can feel myself going lilac, spit it out, Will."
Willharry toyed with his necklace, a solid gold chain with a key on it, a family heirloom that Mother had given him when he was four. Fiyero had one just like it, only instead of a key there was a ring on it- Wills claimed that both knickknacks weren't heirlooms at all, just some junk Mother didn't want to part with when she helped some relatives clean out there attic in Filaan. Now he had his usual committed swagger in the way he moved as he moved the dinky piece of metal up the chain, but behind that Fiyero could sense genuine hesitation.
"Will?" he repeated anxiously.
"Aw, relaxify," he said, waving his brother off. "I just told Sari that I was going out of town for a couple of days, and if the joint where I was headed was any good I might invite her along." At the look on the younger prince's face, he quickly added, "Dude, she totally thought I was joking! She even threw a shoe at me and told me to 'stop taunting (her) with the riches (she) almost had before (our) Mother broke off (your) marriage (thank Oz)'."
"And were you joking?" Fiyero pressed.
Willharry took a sip of his Popsi before answering- not a good sign. "I briefly mentioned it in case your half-brained scheme doesn't work and we need a backup."
"Since when is it possible for you not to get any girl you want?"
"I wasn't talking about that," Willharry replied incredulously, as if the idea of a female not falling madly in love with him was completely ludicrous. "I mean, what if the chick doesn't meet my standards? Jealous Sociopath Ex-Girlfriend works just as well at getting rid of unwanted suitors as Hot Older Brother."
"Not when there's another suitor you want to replace her with, who you kind of want to live!" Fiyero hissed.
Willharry cocked his head to the side, clearly intrigued. "Oh?" he quipped, a grin slowly forming across his face. "Holding out on me, eh, little bro?"
Fiyero scowled down at the table, vehemently wishing McRonald's carried better projectiles than plastic forks.
"Oh Ti-ggy! Waiting for an an-swer!" Harry sang, in such an accurate impression of Sarmia his brother was disconcerted for a moment.
It might have been the "Tiggy" that did it. "Frankly, yes!" he exploded. "That way you couldn't steal her away from me like you always do!"
Willharry was greatly taken aback. "…I don't always steal your girls," he said slowly.
"Oh yeah?" Fiyero gave a harsh laugh most unlike him. "What about Katie?"
"Who?" Will asked blankly.
"When we were in the Evs for Mother's international tour, that little lost Ozian girl we picked up in Zarri Province?"
"Oh yeah…" Willharry drawled, comprehension gradually dawning. "Whatever happened to her, anyway?"
Fiyero scowled. "You started hitting on her after I already let her hold onto me riding horseback to that nightclub, where you hooked her up with Freddie once you got tired of her."
"…Freddie?"
Fiyero sighed. "The DJ's little brother," he elaborated tiredly. "The one with the Steven Crown novel?"
"Well, whatever," Willharry said impatiently. "So what I hit on Kitty, or whoever? I hit on anything that moves- and invalids, if their chests are big enough! But I wouldn't try to steal your girlfriend. At least, not without your permission, like now. I mean, I may be an egotistical bastard, but I'm not a soulless, egotistical bastard."
"Doesn't matter," Fiyero looked down at the table indifferently. "Whenever your around, girls completely forget I exist."
Will blinked at him. "Fif," he said, sounding legitimately concerned now. "Fif, that is so not-"
"OH MY OZ!!!"
Before either of them knew what had happened, three trilling girls engulfed the table, wearing- of all things- leotards.
"Ohmiozomiozomioz!" the first, a lanky redhead who appeared to have a pair of wings strapped to her back, squealed. "Your Willharry Tiggular!"
"Oh my Oz, I told you we should have changed before we left the dance studio!" the second- also tall, with chess nut hair swept into a bun- wailed. "I can't believe the flamingist guy in Oz is seeing me with a tiger tail!" And indeed, from the back of her tutu protruded a stripped wire that dangled somewhat similarly like an extra limb a large feline might possess.
The redhead ignored her, yanking a napkin from the boys' canister. "Can we, like, have your autograph?!" she gushed.
He shot Fiyero an pleading look; he returned it with a dark shrug and gestured for him to go ahead.
Frowning, Willharry grunted "Sure" and pulled out a pen.
One and Two hugged each other, jumping up and down on the balls of their feet. The third, however- a slightly darker brunette than the second, her tutu all black with silver fringe and eyeliner-seemed frozen.
"Who am I making this out to?" Will asked tiredly.
"Victorie Hugo," the redhead chirped, pressing her hand into his to shake it and pointed towards Tiger Tail with the other. "And this is Emmeline Dickinson."
"Pleasure," he replied dryly. "And her?"
Emmeline poked Black Tutu, who was still gazing at Will in a dazed look of awe. "This is Benjamina Bronte," she supplied. "I think she broke," she added for good measure.
Victorie shook her head. "I got this," she said confidently. She waved her arm in front of Benjamina's face. "Hey-hey-hey, Emo Chick!"
Benjamina jerked out of her revere. "For the last time- I am NOT EMO!!!" she roared. "I didn't even want to be in this stupid recital, you told me Lucillo was guaranteed to like me if I tried out, it's not my fault I got cast as Death and have to wear this moronic costume that makes me look like a- uh, hi…" She trailed off dreamily, eyeing the elder prince.
Victorie snorted. "Bye Bye Benny," she whispered to Emmeline, who giggled.
Hastily, Willharry made out the napkins and all but threw them at the fangirls, who tittered appropriately and then quickly dispersed ("I can't BELIEVE you wouldn't let us change out of our costumes, Tori!")
"You were saying?" Fiyero asked coolly.
Willharry fiddled awkwardly with his straw. "W-what I'm getting at is," he started uncomfortably, "I'm not all that, Fif," he finished lamely.
Fiyero snorted. "You're perfect," he said dismissively.
"I am not!" Willharry replied defensively. "What about- my eyes?"
"Your eyes." Fiyero was clearly skeptical.
"Yeah, my eyes!" his brother insisted. "They're all…weird and grey. Like Minerva Mouse's, or something."
Fiyero gave him A Look as similar to Elphaba's withering stares as he could manage. "Let me get this straight," he drawled, "You are not perfect because you have Minerva Mouse's eyeballs?!"
"Um, yes?"
In spite of himself, Fiyero cracked a smile. "You're right, Will, you really aren't perfect."
"I told you s-"
"You have got to be the worst self-insulter I've ever heard." Fiyero sipped his drink one last time before setting the Styrofoam cup down. "Let's just go back to my dorm, okay?"
Nessarose had always considered herself to be somewhat of a morning person; unlike a lot of college students, she was not disgruntled if she had to rise before ten in the morning for a lecture, nor did she have any qualms with getting up early to fix her suitor a basket of muffins or such like to surprise him before dawn (as more uncaring, less dutiful blondes might be).
However, given that the previous evening Miss Nessa had not fallen asleep at all, but rather had fainted at the sight of her own over-painted face in the mirror and lay there until she regained consciousness in the morning with half a pound of mascara still smudged over her normally pale face, somehow she could not find the courage to greet the day with her usual gusto. In fact, she let out a rather audible shriek of surprise and horror.
Galinda darted out not a clock-tick later. She took in the vanity ("I told Elphie to mop that mess up!") the various powders and paints of makeup strewn across the floor ("Oh, she's paying for every smidge of that!") and finally Nessa's stricken face before hurrying over.
"Oh, honey," she said soothingly, dabbing the other girl's face with her handkerchief, "There, there, you're not to worry, Auntie Galinda will fix it for you." She pulled back once the majority of the kohl had rubbed off, smiling in a way that indicated she had no clue how much Nessarose resented being talked to as though she were a four year old caught throwing a tantrum.
"That's really not necessary," she said stiffly.
"It's my pleasure, really!" Galinda insisted, swiveling Nessa's chair around so that she could get a better angle; this was one of Nessarose's pet peeves, but she mentally consoled herself: Miss Galinda didn't know how much other people moving her about annoyed her, and after all, what could it hurt getting her makeup done by the most fashionable girl in Shiz? Perhaps it might even convince to Boq to talk to her again, if she looked pretty enough…
"Oh, dearie, do excuse me," Galinda said briskly, having brushed against Nessa's leg while bending to start on her eye shadow again.
The other girl shrugged. "It's fine," she said dismissively. "It's not as if I can feel it, anyway," she added with a touch of bitterness.
She closed her eyes obediently so Galinda could brush her lids with the emerald powder again; after a minute or so of not feeling any pressure on her eyes, she opened them again and found the blonde staring at her, makeup wand still in her hand, mouth ajar.
"Is something, er, wrong?" Nessarose asked, trying to keep the irritation rising within her at bay for the moment.
"You can't feel your legs???" Galinda cried, sincerely incredulous.
Irritation won out with a vengeance. "Did you think perhaps I just rolled around for the fun of it? Some special Munchkinland custom for the governor's daughter Elphaba was simply thought was too frivolous to invoke?"
"No, no!" Galinda said with a laugh, clearing trying to gloss the whole thing over. "I just thought they hurt all the time, or something. I didn't know you couldn't feel them."
Both pondered each other: Nessarose was wondering how in the Quox any girl could get to be so stupid, so completely naive that an ounce of common sense staggered them to the core, while Galinda was-
Well it's rather hard to do read what goes on in Galinda's head, as it's so full of cotton candy and taffeta patterns. Regardless, a moment later she jumped up and dashed over to her closet, squealing ominously. At this point, Nessa really should have wheeled away as fast as her pale arms could push her, but curiosity got the better of her.
"Um, Miss Galinda?" she prompted. "What, prey tell, are you doing?"
A few moments later, after tossing out several fuchsia shawls and pink hand-clutches out of the way, Galinda emerged again holding a pair of open-toe, blood-red heels with glittery gold stars adorned across the many, complicated-looking straps.
"These shoes," Galinda breathed, her eyes glistening, "are the flamingist thing I've ever seen- well, except perhaps that corset you picked out for Elphie. I've longed since I've seen them to be able to wear them and thereby do them justice, but I can't so much as half-fasten the blasted things without near crippling myself- excuse the pun, dear," she added.
Nessa was tempted to ask what pun sardonically but decided it would most likely be better for her own safety to let this Psycho Blonde go on thinking she was witty.
"But you-" she said excitedly. "Darling, if you really can't feel your feet-"
Without so much as asking permission to do so, Galinda crouched down and began unlacing Nessarose's boot, sticking her blonde head far too close to Nessa's skirts than she was entirely comfortable with, if you wanted the truth. Tentatively, as though she were wiring a bomb, Galinda wrapped the sparkly red straps to about Nessa's thighs (Sweet Oz, she thought, what kind of scandalicious shoes are these?!) About ten minutes later (or so it seemed to the increasingly-vexed Nessarose) Galinda looked up uncertainly and asked, "how's that?"
Nessa glanced down at her feet; they had to be the gaudiest, most vulgar pair of shoes she'd seen in her life (and she'd been in her father's closet once or twice). Then again, Galinda's taste was far better than hers, so what did she know? She wasn't the belle of Shiz, she didn't have hundreds of disposable boys yielding to her every whim, she-
"Still can't feel anything," she replied icily.
Galinda jumped up and down, clapping her hands with excitement. "Oh, Rosie!" she trilled (Nessarose made a mental note to somehow convey to the blonde that only Elphaba was allowed to call her that). "I never realized how much potential you have!"
This caught Nessarose's attention. "Potential?" she repeated incredulously.
Galinda cocked her head, appearing to be inspecting her. "Yes," she murmured vaguely. "To think, I've been wasting all this time with your sister- I love her to death, but Oz knows she's set in her ways- when really…" she trailed off thoughtfully.
"Really what?" in spite of herself Nessa found her chest tightening with a combination of eagerness and fear at what the other girl might say.
Galinda smiled. "There is so much more to you," she said finally, "than that beautifully tragic angle. With a little effort, under the right toolage-" she blew an over-exaggerated kiss, gesturing at herself "why we could make a Rose of you yet, Miss Nessathorn."
Nessarose was unsure of how to react; on the one hand: NESSATHORN? WHAT THE BLOODY-
On the other, like it or not, Miss Galinda was the most beloved girl at Shiz. Not only that but- her stomach twisted- she was the most beloved girl by Boq. There was no way of getting around it (although, Oz, did he seriously think GALINDA wouldn't pin him down and force him to wear eyeliner in a fit of speed reading for history? Oh, but of course darling Galinda didn't speed read; she did eye yoga.)
Either way, perhaps a makeover from Galinda would be the best course of action.
"Alright, Miss Galinda," Nessarose said formally, "I am in your hands."
Oz, that come out sounding far more kinky than she was at all comfortable with.
"Great!" Galinda squealed. Then she gasped, "Oh my Oz- would it hurt if I waxed your legs?!"
Nessa repressed a sigh. "No," she said, suddenly feeling very tired.
"O-O-o-oh!" Galinda trilled, "How's about if I wax your underarms, too? Or has it spread there yet? I remember now in Life Sciences when we were talking about this- your 'nerves' all die or something so you can't feel pain, and then your limbs slowly start to fall off-"
"MISS GALINDA!" Nessarose screamed, never more insulted in her life, "PARALYSIS AND LEPROSY ARE NOT THE SAME THING! I am a cripple, not a leper! I'VE never even had so much as a PIMPLE, let alone have my FLESH FESTER!"
Galinda blinked.
"Well why didn't you say so, darling?" she said amusedly. "Really, there's no need to shout."
Suddenly, a novel concept occurred to the disabled girl; for the first time in Nessarose Thropp's short life, she wondered if even Boq was worth it.
Fiyero wasn't sure exactly what he should expect upon his arrival back to his dorm; a part of him wanted to get started on his ingenious (or anti-genius, depending on how you looked at it) plan right away, having dismissed Avaric for the day and therefore ditching all voice of reason, whereas another part of him just wanted to collapse on his bed for two hundred years to make up for having slept on a bench all night.
One thing he did not want, however, was to have the first thing his highly-promiscuous brother saw entering his dormitory to be an insanely gorgeous redhead with hair that grew in tendrils down to her ankles and violet, kohl-laced eyes wearing nothing but a Evian silk robe draped all over his sofa.
"Oh, hullo, Masta' Fi'ero," Marisu purred in her sultry voice, not looking at all embarrassed by her situation. She inclined her head at Willharry. "Who 'ou tall hansome friend?"
Will pinched his arm. "I love you so much," he whispered in his brother's ear.
"That's not her, idiot!" Fiyero hissed under his breath.
Harry visibly deflated. "Crush all my hopes and dreams, why don't you?" he muttered.
"Marisu Alecto, this is my brother, Willharry Tiggular," Fiyero declared loudly, decidedly ignoring the person he had just introduced. "Can you make awkward small-talk with him while I go to kill your boyfriend for clearly breaking the No-Overnight rule?"
"Otay," she replied pleasantly, her grasp on the Ozian language still faltering in places.
That taken care of, the younger Prince of the Vinkus promptly stalked into the kitchen nook, where Minor OC was seemingly trying to cook a four-star worthy breakfast in honor of his suitor using nothing but a hot plate. Needless to say this wasn't getting him anywhere fast, but also needless to say Fiyero wasn't exactly feeling sympathetic at this point.
"What is she doing here?!" he demanded in an undertone, as the little kitchen wasn't completely closed off and therefore was still slightly in earshot of the living room.
Minor shrugged, flipping his eggs. "You broke the rule, too, so I figured fair was fair," he replied affably.
"What are you talking about?!" his roommate demanded.
OC pointed towards Fiyero's room with the spatula. "Your little girlfriend nearly broke the door down while you were out last night- interrupting a very pleasant evening between me and the lady, I might add. She kept it up for a good part of an hour before I finally opened the door, and she demanded to see you. I wasn't really into the idea- as I said, Mare and I were quite comfortable- but graciously invited her in anyway, and she basically just holed up inside your room, waiting."
Oh, Oz. Shizkin. Shizkin shizkin bloody bloody shizkin. Galinda had come LOOKING FOR HIM?! Was she trying to wring an answer out to her proposal (or, um, command) ALREADY?
"Wait, back up, what?" the Prince cried.
"That's pretty much all that happened," OC said, shrugging. "I didn't want to ask her too much; like I said, Mare and I had stuff going on, and she didn't look like she was in the mood to be disturbed. She actually looked pretty homicidal, if you want the truth. I'd say you're in the doghouse, Tiggular."
S- D- Q- BARGH, THERE WERE NO CURSE WORDS LEFT STRONG ENOUGH! "S-so," Fiyero struggled not to hyperventilate. "W-what she look like when she l-left? C-cooled off or still m-m-mad?"
"Left?" Minor OC poked at his bacon absentmindedly. "I dunno, man, I didn't see her again. Marisu has this thing about going to sleep early for her complexion, or something, so we quit fooling around and hit the hay by like ten, but I didn't notice her go by then. Mare said she got up around seven to do her aerobics crap, but she didn't mention seeing her go either. We might have just missed her though, like I said-" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "we were pretty wrapped up in ourselves."
Nauseated, and not (just) at his roommate's innuendo, Fiyero quickly bolted out of the kitchen and headed towards his bedroom, yanking his brother by the elbow off of the couch (and Marisu's clutches) on the way.
"Hey!" the elder Prince protested. "What's up with you?"
"Psycho-fiancé-in-bedroom," Fiyero panted, still in the midst of his panic attack. "Emergency-evasive-action."
"Dude, I feel like I'm a freaking love EMT, what the Quox?" Willharry said as his brother dragged him along.
Paying no heed to this opinion, Fiyero wretched the door open and realized a half-second to late that it was not the Blonde Demon sitting on the edge of his bedpost with a Prado chains in her hands getting ready to bind him to her forever, but rather a raven-haired beauty curled like a cat on his mattress. Mercifully, though, she appeared to be sleeping, giving Fiyero enough time to formulate a plan.
"DEAR SWEET OZ!" Willharry yelled at the top of his lungs, "THAT CHICK'S GREEN!"
Okay. So maybe not. He was, however, able to steal just enough time to shove Will behind the draperies before Elphaba jerked awake.
"WHERE have you BEEN?!" she roared at him.
Fiyero blinked. "Um," he said uncertainly, "Out?"
"That's not good enough!" she snapped at him.
Not knowing what else to say in response to this, Fiyero asked, "Uh, why were you sleeping in my bed? Listening to my mother's caterwauling?"
"What in Oz are you on a-" he flipped open the CD player that was lying next to her, one earphone still dangling out of her ear. The compact disk in question was purple with the swirling gold letters across it reading "LizzieDiFi". Elphaba made a small gagging sound. "Argh, I feel like I need to wash my head now."
"Tell me about it," The Prince replied sympathetically. "But, um, seriously- my bed? Plus you? Minus me? I'm not getting this equation- teach me, Smart Girl?"
"I'm not in the mood for your foolishness!" snarled Elphaba. "What the Quox is the matter with you? Haven't you any heart at all? Galinda loves you whole-heartedly and though her peppiness vexes me to no end I won't stand idly by and let you hurt her! I don't know what kind of sick freak you are, stringing girl's hearts along as though they were nothing more than little dolls for your amusement, but I'm here to tell you I won't let Galinda be your next bimbo! Now you go tell her you're a bastard who's not ready for commitment, or better yet put some of that royal fortune of yours to good use and cough up a ring for her!"
Fiyero blinked. "Wait," he said, having to fight to even get his motor skills to cooperate with him, "Y-you want me to marry G-glinda?"
"My Oz, what is wrong with men?" Elphie's gaze was like a sharpened dagger digging into him. "She HATES being called Glinda! You've been going out with her for how long and you don't already know- urgh, but I digress! YES, I want you to marry GAlinda, as long as you are treat her properly- better that than having you philandering about taking advantage of naïve girls for your own gain."
"What…the…" he said a word that really didn't improve Elphaba's view on him as a gentlemen "are you TALKING ABOUT?"
But green girl crossed her arms and mutely turned away.
Fiyero, unsure how to deal with sulking girls in the first place an certainly unequipped to do so after such an unsatisfactory night's sleep, sat down beside her on the mattress and asked, "Is this about the thing in the closet? Because I swear, I wasn't trying to mock you-"
"Ignoring the fact that that is blatantly untrue," Elphaba sniffed (Oz, why did she have to use such big words this early in the day?) "This has nothing to do with you and I; I simply want to see my best friend happy, and though my opinion of you has personally plummeted due to your callous conduct towards me, if you can please her than I wish you all the best."
"Look, I honestly have no clue what you are talking about," he replied patiently. He reached out to take a green hand, neatly folded in her lap; she stiffened at his touch, but did not pull away. "But I really and truly never meant to hurt you- I could never do that. I care about you way, way too much- so much, in fact, it rather scares the crap out of me. And I'm trying to break up with Galinda, I am, but it's…complicated."
Elphaba wretched out of his grasp. "Complicated my heel," she spat, standing up. "You haven't even tried, have you? You're nothing but a coward, selfish and self-serving. I'm done here- do whatever you want, I don't care, just don't hurt my friend anymore."
Fiyero really didn't know what came over him; one moment he was watching Elphie turn her back on him and start towards the door- the next, he was grabbing her by the shoulder and whirling her around to face him again.
"Now hold on!" he cried. "Do you have any idea-any- of what I've been through for you over the past twelve hours? I blew off dinner; I endured the two centuries long line at the post office; I composed a 20,000 word distress telegram; I had to have Mom wire me the money to actually pay for a 20,000 word distress telegram; I slept on a bench; I actually ate at McRonald's after they showed us that documentary Ultra-Size Me in Health class and I stupidly paid attention, so I actually knew what was in the food I was eating, but had to consume it anyway because, as previously stated, I skipped out on dinner; not to mention, I PAID OZ KNOWS HOW MUCH MONEY TO BUY TRAIN TICKETS FOR THE TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO CAN GET UNDER MY SKIN AND MAKE ME FEEL COMPLETELY OBSOLETE-"
"Hey, I resent t- oh, crap," Willharry said from his hiding place.
Elphaba jerked around to where his voice had come from. "What was that?" she asked suspiciously, completely ignoring Fiyero's rant.
"Uh, nothing," he replied quickly, too quickly.
"It sounded like it came from over by the window," she said ominously, approaching said location.
"No- wait-" Fiyero cried, fumbling after her. Paying no heed, Elphaba snatched the shutters back to reveal-
"Oh, crap," Willharry said again. "Uh- PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN-" he wretched the drape back again.
His younger brother closed his eyes, bringing a hand to his temple. It was over. She'd seen Will. Girl's he'd been dating for MONTHS forgot his very name when they first met Harry. He'd already pissed Elphaba off more than he'd ever done to any girl; now that she'd seen his brother, who was- basically- everything he was only hundreds of thousands of times better, she'd probably fawn over him more than- more than- Oz, he was too upset for metaphors! A deer, maybe?
"Wait," she said in that distant, dazed way girl's always did when the first caught sight of the Elder Prince, "aren't you Willharry Tiggular?"
Fiyero winced as the green girl exactly quoted the fangirls from the fast food joint.
"Uh, no, I'm a- foreign exchange student-" Willharry, for his part, babbled unconvincingly. "-Mary Sue's brother, doesn't ya knows?"
"It's Marisu," Elphaba replied coldly, "And your accent sounds merely as though your sinuses have been clogged with wood glue."
Wait, Fiyero said, joy slowly rising in his chest, did she just- she told Will off! She's immune to him! She's the one girl in all the continent who's immune to Will!! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!
"Elphaba Thropp, meet Willharry," Fiyero said cheerfully.
Elphaba turned to him icily. "Is this what you meant by breaking up?" she demanded. "You sent your brother here to shallowly seduce Galinda so you wouldn't have to stand up to her? This is your 'complicated' solution?"
"Um," he replied, the happy buzz in his chest slowly starting to fade at her tone, "Yes?"
"YOU IDIOT!" she screamed, knocking him upside his head. "Oz, are you completely without morals?! You can't just PAWN someone off on another person to manipulate your own needs! Do you really think you can convince a girl you've been dating for months to ditch you at the drop of a hat, for your own brother?"
"It's…Galinda…." Fiyero replied, an eyebrow raised.
Elphaba let out a shriek of exasperation. "You're hopeless!" she informed him shrilly, and without another word stormed out of the room.
He didn't chase her; sinking onto the bed, Fiyero slowly bent over and cradled his head in his hands. "Oz," he moaned woefully, "I can't do anything right, can I?"
On a less dismal occasion, Willharry would be tempted to point out that his brother had no problem performing acts of stupidity right, but he saw that "Fif" was in genuine pain and tried his best to help.
"Well," he said awkwardly, rubbing the other prince's back comfortingly, "You can always wait till she calms down and try to talk to her again."
"No," he said achingly, "No, I'm done. I can't make her happy, all I've done so far is get her upset and endanger her friendship with her roommate; it's not fair to her, and I just can't deal with all this anymore."
"Alright, man," Will said hesitantly. "If that's really what you want."
He nodded broodingly, not looking at him.
"So uh, you still want me to take care of the Galinda thing for you?" he asked tentatively.
"Do whatever you want," he said, voice dead. "I don't care anymore."
Will had never seen his brother this down before; desperate for something to distract him, he scanned the room anxiously until something on the bureau caught his attention. "So are you still gonna give her this?"
Fiyero glanced up. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice with a bit more emotion now. Encourage, Willharry went over to him and stuck it under his nose.
"These letters- they're both addressed to 'Miss Thropp'- that's what you said her last name was, right?"
Fiyero stared at them bewilderedly; that wasn't his handwriting scrawled across the envelopes. He couldn't ever remember composing a love note to Elphaba. Besides, the script was far too messy, almost as though the person writing it was using their left hand, or-
Didn't have any thumbs. Suppressing a groan, Fiyero suddenly recalled Dr. Dillamond's request to deliver these to Elphie the next time he stopped by Galinda's room; he'd dropped them on the dresser upon returning home, and forgot to pick them up again when he went to collect the blonde for their coffee date (not that it would have mattered if he'd remembered them, what with the green girl hurling projectiles at him and what not.)
Urgh; he couldn't not give them to her, not after Dillamond had against all logic cut him some slack; the guy had it hard enough as it is. Grudgingly, he turned towards his brother and asked, "Hey, could you run this over to her for me? Room number's-"
"Oh, no," Willharry protested, linking his index fingers together in a "stay back" symbol. "You're not dragging me into this. Go give it to her yourself."
Scowling, Fiyero Tiggular stood up and went to have one last interaction with Elphaba.
A/N: AAAAAAAAH! ONE CHAPTER (plus the epilouge) LEFT! I can't believe it! I also can't believe how long it's been since I've updated, I know you must all hate me- but could you pretty please review anyway, though I totally don't deserve it?