Anise didn't notice when Loren woke up. She only noticed after she figured he'd been awake for a while and finally decided to let her know. He wasn't subtle about it either, no, he sat up all at once while he watched her out of the corner of his eye. No quiet shifting, no soft noises typical for one that had just been asleep, he was just… up. No, there it was.

His hand rubbed at part of his face as he watched her balefully out of the corner of his eye. "How long?" he asked as his hand dropped to his lap, utterly ignoring her surprise. She gaped for a moment, her mouth working before her voice decided to kick in because Loren was acting as if nothing had happened. As if it were routine then she realized it probably was to an extent.

"About 3 hours," she said finally then frowned, her chest tightening with apprehension when his brow furrowed and he looked at her in confusion.

'3 hours,' he mouthed and stared down at his hands, clearly having expected something else. A larger number she supposed but she spared a glance to the small clock on the side table to confirm that yes, it had only been three hours. Three hours since they found him on the dock and three hours since Tear was forced to put him to sleep.

Anise leaned forward, her hand raised though she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with it. Comfort him, maybe, but she didn't know how to go about it. She rested her palm on the covers instead, drawing Loren's attention away from himself. She hesitated when their eyes met, the intensity in his gaze nearly making her apologize and leave. But she steeled herself, clutching the blanket between her fingers as she straightened her back and met his gaze evenly.

"You're not alone," she said. Loren's eyes narrowed and his frowned deepened but she refused to let it stop her. "You're allowed to let us know when something's wrong. You don't," she took a deep breath and blinked rapidly to stave off the sudden influx of tears. Damn it all, she thought she was done, "You don't need to hide."

Loren's lips parted and he took in a breath as he prepared to speak then stopped himself. He shook his head instead as he looked away, his shoulders falling with the released air. "Thank you," he said softly and Anise had to wonder what it was he had meant to say before. He shoved the covers aside and she was forced back into her seat as he climbed out of bed.

His uniform was hung on the closet door, leaving him in a simple shirt and a pair of thin trousers that were the base of most of the uniforms for the Order. He plucked at the hem of his shirt, pulling it loose form where it was caught at the waist then worked on getting dressed.

"You don't need to concern yourself with me," he told her after a moment of shuffling, "I've managed to get by this long on my own."

Anise nearly threw herself out of the chair and it teetered precariously on two legs before righting. "But you don't need to be!"

"Anise," his tone was firm and for a moment as he looked down at her over his shoulder, she saw an echo of Asch and she found herself sitting again before she realized it. The mattress sank under her and she pushed down the urge to swallow nervously.

"You don't need to pretend," he continued and turned his attention back to his clothes, "I know that you guys are trying to include me because of your guilt for him but it's not necessary. I know my place in the world and there's no trying to change it."

"Loren," Anise tried and he shook his head, sparing one last glance in the mirror next to the closet before he turned around.

"Leave it be," he smiled as if to lessen the effects of his words. Anise pulled her lip between her teeth and her gaze dropped to stare at her fingers in her lap in order to hide the concern and frustration that overtook her.

"Come on," he beckoned with his hand as he started for the stairs, "I'm afraid I'm going to get lost very quickly if you let me try to find my way on my own."

"Well, we can't have that," Anise quipped, taking the words for what they were; a change, a distraction. She passed him, taking the stairs first and took the time where he couldn't see her face to compose herself. By the time they left the building and were on their way towards city hall, her usual smile was in place and she swung her arms widely as she hummed a small tune her mother used to sing.

She was faced with a dilemma, it seemed.

How did she get Loren to see that she wasn't lying? That none of them were lying, for that matter.

She dwelled on the thought, running through his words over and over. Sure, she could agree that guilt played a part of it but it didn't make up the whole reason for their acceptance. In fact, it made up for very little in her case and most of the guilt she felt for him was for their history, likely forgotten by him as well. But that wasn't to say the others were the same.

No, she'd have to ask. Make sure that they were all on the same page where Loren was concerned. It wouldn't do to do it half assed; they'd all learned that lesson. She grimaced and shot Loren a glance out of the corner of her eye. He was oblivious to her thoughts, his attention focused on the structures and the people they passed.

Maybe guilt played a bigger part than she thought. Well, there was no use denying it then. If they tried to avoid it, it would make it that much more awkward. And it would be an awkward conversation because when was a touchy subject never awkward.

She was drawn back to the outside world when they rounded the corner, her arms stopping at her sides as they slowed because Guy had found a spot just outside the building. He was perched on an old shipping crate, elbows braced on his knees as he worked a carving knife over a small piece of wood. He looked up almost immediately, as if he'd been watching for them though his brows lifted in slight surprise.

"You're awake," he said when they got closer and he sounded just as surprised though a bit like he was trying to hide it as well. Loren snorted and his lips quirked up in dry humour.

"It's something I could certainly get used to, though I would still like a coffee," he said lowly then gestured to the chunk of wood Guy was holding, "anything good coming out of that?"

Guy turned it over in his hand then held it up for them to see it better. It was a lumpy thing, almost shaped like a peanut and the harsh white light of the entryway caught the edges and seemed to deepen its grooves. "Only if good counts as a mangled snowman so far," he commented then tucked it away into a pocket along with the knife. "It's not something I do often, I still need practice."

When he raised his head again, Loren was pinned by a stern look. Everything about Guy was practically scolding, clearly a practiced action, and Anise covered her mouth to help suppress her grin. Loren beside her jerked like he wanted to step back but stopped himself last second. Instead he scowled and glared back.

"You can talk to us, you know," Guy said, "not all of us are going jump down your throat because of what happened down there." Loren huffed as he looked away and Guy sighed softly. He stood and swept his wood chips away with a foot then nodded towards the door. "Not sure if Anise told you but there's food upstairs. Coffee too, I'm sure."

Loren nodded jerkily then brushed passed, carefully avoiding Guy's hand before he was through the door and out of sight. Anise's frown was back when Guy looked at her and her arms crossed tight over her chest.

"He brushed me off, too," she said, "back at the house." Guy's head tilted in question and she shrugged and shook her head then let out an aggravated breath. "I told him that he doesn't have to hide anymore. That he isn't alone. He accused me of pretending and acting on my guilt for Luke which I can sort of see but still."

"So we try again," Guy braced his hands on his hips as Anise blinked and smiled as if the answer was that simple, "and we keep trying until he understands. Something happened on those docks and it terrified him; I know a panic attack when I see one."

"Right," Anise said slowly then nodded once as her arms fell to her sides, her hands fisted with determination. "Right."

Guy waved his arm towards the door and Anise preceded him through it.

The problem with the blank room was that there were no windows which meant that neither of them knew when their surroundings had begun to change when they finally left it. The sudden darkness of the house was a shock and Luke spent a moment standing confused in the middle of the hallway before Asch pressed by. He moved quickly towards the living room, a darker shadow among shadows and Luke winced when he ended up slamming his shin into the coffee table.

He followed the cursing and lingered at the edge of the room, hand against the wall as he watched Asch lean against the bay windows. So not completely dark, but dark enough. There was a thought, half formed and Asch's mouth had opened but his hand was already moving and the light was on before a sound even left his lips.

Asch twisted around, brows furrowed and Luke blinked before his hand jerked away from the wall and the light switch as if he'd been burned.

"Sorry," he muttered, inspecting his palm before he rubbed it against his pants. "Still caught up with the fonon thing," he offered as an explanation which was partially true but-

He coughed nervously in the back of his throat as Asch shook his head and pushed away from the window.

"In the linen closet there's a bag, go get it," don't worry about it. He waved his hand and Luke turned on his heel, working on making their thoughts less of a unified force of intention as it had been. Or was that Asch who was-

"Don't worry about it!" came Asch's call from the kitchen, out loud instead and Luke shook his head and focused on the task at hand.

"We're leaving, then?" he called back as he opened the door and found what Asch was talking about on the floor. It was leather and didn't look like it would hold much but he hoped it would hold enough. Asch's grunt echoed between the hall and his mind.

"We're leaving," he confirmed, "I'm not sure how much time we have left so we're-"

"Gonna grab everything we can, right," Luke finished with a terse nod to himself and darted into the bathroom. Gels and bottles from the mirror cabinet were tossed into the bag along with what remained of the bandages and medical tape. In the kitchen, he could hear packs of food as they hit the table and he wondered just how much of it they were going to be able to take.

He left the bathroom with the cabinet door hanging open and crossed into the kitchen where Asch had moved onto sorting. Small packages of nuts were set aside along with a couple bags of crackers and bottles of water. He picked one up and turned it over in his hand, somewhat unsure.

"Are these...?"

"They're fine," Asch insisted and Luke looked up as he set the bag and the bottle on the table.

"You're rushing," he noted as Asch darted around the room, leaving drawers and cupboards open in his wake.

"Something tells me this place isn't going to stay standing once that barrier is gone," was the tense reply as he came back and dumped a load of... something on the table.

"What?" Asch jerked his head towards the sitting room and Luke looked over his shoulder. On the far wall a large crack had pretty much split it horizontally in two and as he turned to get a better look, something snapped and a part of the ceiling cracked and fell to the floor in a shower of dust.

"Shit."

"Quite."

Luke gritted his teeth and choked back a groan of frustration. "Do we have armor?" he asked and looked back to see Asch shake his head once.

"Only what I had on," he said, "and, regrettably, I left my sword on your airship." Luke cursed inwardly and resumed packing the bag with as much as he could. Asch snorted to cover a laugh as he followed the train of increasingly inventive curses.

"Do I want to know?" he questioned as he shoved the majority of his pile aside then made for the bedroom.

"Get Anise angry during a fight and see what she comes up with." Asch smirked to himself though it was brief and it dropped as soon as he entered to room. His eyes darted to the window and the web of cracks that was stretched across it then clicked his tongue. Better hurry.

"You're awake, I'm surprised." Loren glared over the rim of his mug at Jade as the man entered the otherwise empty room with Ion on his tail. "I'd figured you'd be out for far longer after that episode down at the docks," he continued without waiting for a response and guided the Fon Master towards a table.

"You and me, both," Loren agreed from where he leaned against the counter, his mug held close and met the look Jade sent him over the rims of his glasses.

"What happened?" Ion asked, his eyes wide with concern as he sat and Loren pursed his lips.

"A minor oversight on my part, no issue," he said in favour of a proper explanation and Ion frowned though he absently nodded his thanks as Jade handed him a plate.

"I'd be less inclined to believe that if I were you," Jade told him as he also handed over a glass of water, "he seems to have a terrible habit of making things seem less than what they are." Loren groaned in the back of his throat and busied himself with his own plate of food.

"Meaning?" Ion pressed as Loren speared a few beans with his fork and thrust them into his mouth.

"He had a panic attack by all appearances. We had to have Tear use her hymns to put him to sleep."

"Don't," Loren insisted through gritted teeth before the Fon Master could do more than jerk his head towards him, "I don't-" He cut himself off and turned away as he swallowed his food.

"You don't need our concern, yes, I heard," Jade said as he slipped into the chair next to Ion. Loren pursed his lips to keep from biting them as he realized why it was so easy to convince Guy and Anise to leave him. Ion's frown deepened and when their eyes met Loren couldn't look away.

"Do you think I am above help?" he asked after a moment of silence and Loren jerked where he stood. The Fon Master continued to watch him even as he tore his gaze away and clutched the fork hard between his fingers. His jaw was tight, almost painfully so, and a hundred different things raced through his mind.

'You're the Fon Master. You're huge, you're everywhere. Of course you need help; you can't run the world on nothing.' But he was just an acolyte, a tiny piece in the Fon Master's network and not even one that could influence the greater picture. He was a broken cobblestone, discarded and forgotten off the beaten path of the Order's reach.

"Of course not," he said and released the fork before he could twist the prongs into his palm. It dropped on the plate with a loud clatter, teetered, and then fell onto the floor. He held back a wince. The Fon Master continued to wait patiently at the table.

"Of course not," Loren repeated, softer and more subdued and shoved away from the counter to drop heavily into a chair.

Ion carefully nudged his plate forward before he laced his fingers on the surface. "Can you tell me why?" he asked and Loren hesitated before he sighed quietly.

"You're the leader of a massive world power with civilian and military divisions. You can't be expected to be everywhere at once and controlling every single action. It's illogical, impossible even. You need people to help you do what you can't in order to keep the people satisfied," He said then frowned and stared at a knot in the wood, dissatisfied with his own answer.

"Alright," the Fon Master accepted and Loren got the feeling that he missed something obvious. "So tell me, then, why you believe you can handle everything yourself."

Loren blinked and his frown deepened and he was suddenly aware of Jade's gaze like a heavy weight on his shoulders. He shifted in his chair and wet his lips before he spoke again. "I'm- I'm just-," he huffed and started again, "I'm an acolyte, a single pawn in a group that's accepting new recruits every day. Comparatively, my work load's pretty light so there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to handle everything that comes up, especially if it pertains to me. I've never had a reason not to."

The Fon Master was quiet as he rested back in his seat and dropped his hands into his lap. A glance to side had him meeting Jade's and Loren swallowed as he found his mouth dry.

"Loren," the Fon Master was quiet, "you told me your reasons and now I'm going to tell you mine. Are you ready?" Slightly confused, Loren nodded and Ion nodded as well. "I'm human," he said, "that is why I'm not above getting help from others and neither should you. Everyone on this planet is human with their own thoughts and emotions and no one is above receiving help when they need, even when they don't think so."

Loren wanted to move. He wanted to run but he was bolted to the chair by legs that didn't want to move and eyes that stared at him imploringly. He couldn't talk, not that he particularly wanted to, so he nodded to show that he understood. The Fon Master- Ion. Ion smiled and Loren found himself relaxing if only slightly.

"Jade, do you mind locating Tear and Natalia if the others haven't found them already?" Ion asked as he picked up his fork and knife and pulled his plate back towards himself.

"Of course," Jade stood with a smile and Loren watched him with narrowed eyes as he turned and walked out of the room. He slowly relaxed, finally resting against the back of the chair then he sighed deeply.

"I don't like when he smiles. It makes him look suspicious," he told the Fon Ma- Ion and Ion laughed lightly into his food.

"Yes, it certainly takes some getting used to," he agreed. Loren ran a hand through his hair and stood to retrieve his food from the counter, collecting a new fork as well.

"I take it we're leaving when we're done?" He asked as he sat back down. Ion nodded and hummed an affirmative around his food.

"I don't believe the others would wait another second it if wasn't necessary," he said once he'd swallowed, "They're very eager to find our wayward companions."

"Even Jade?"

"He doesn't show it very well and is often the voice of reason, saying what the others don't want to hear but yes, even him," Ion said and Loren snorted, the very thought almost ridiculous. Then he remembered back in Sheridan how the man made sure to clear the room before saying anything.

"He cares, doesn't he?"

"Yes."

They walked side by side, picking their way through the ruins of the city with the strange golden light that once made up their barrier as their guide. It stopped when they stopped and moved when they did and it seemed to be the only thing that kept the lurking shadows at bay. Weapon less as they were, Luke couldn't be anything less than grateful for it.

There were flashes in the distance, though. Stark against the gloom and far up on the tower that seemed to dominate the area. They spiralled around its base, slowly making their way upwards over crumbling stairs and around partially collapsed buildings and every time Luke looked back, the ruins of their previous shelter faded more and more into the darkness.

"Eyes forward," Asch reminded him gently and Luke tore his gaze from the house for what was certainly going to be the last time. He knew he wouldn't be able to find it after they looped around again.

"You know I'm not telling you that purely for that reason, right?" Asch had stopped ahead of him, his face partially illuminated by the light that hovered near his head. Luke blinked then nodded once, slowly.

Eyes forward, no looking back. "There is no going back," he said and Asch nodded.

"For anything," he added as Luke joined him at his side and they continued on. The light trailed ahead, rising and falling intermittently and they followed it around a corner. "We can't change the past."

"I don't want to change the past," Luke murmured. Not if it meant giving up what he had gained. Even if… Asch's elbow nudged his side accompanied by what equated to a mental shove at his back and Luke sent him a sour look out of the corner of his eyes. Asch smiled, crooked and with his teeth showing but a smile all the same.

"You're okay," he said, "you recognize your faults and now you can learn from them." He offered his right hand and Luke smiled back as he took it with his left and gave it a hard shake. They pressed ahead, faster once Luke stopped looking back and focused on reaching the top.

At one point, Asch ducked into a half demolished building and came out with a couple of swords and at Luke's silent question, indicated their guide. His brows rose then furrowed as he frowned. It had grown dimmer as they traveled. He took the bare blade offered to him grimly.

"How'd you know?" he asked, holding the blade up for clarification before he tested it with a sharp swing. It wasn't his but it would do until they got out of where ever they were. Asch pointed to one of the broken signs leaning pitifully against the wall.

"It's Ancient Ispanian," he said, "meaning 'weaponry', basically."

"No sheath?"

Asch's face twisted as he shook his head, "The one I grabbed pretty much fell apart before I could stand again."

Luke's expression mimicked Asch's and they both turned away from the building. A deft motion out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked over to see Asch sliding the blade into his empty scabbard. Asch smirked as he caught the look.

"Shouldn't have been an idiot," he said to which Luke shoved him with an elbow.

While their progress had been altogether slow, the people above them certainly weren't. The faint sounds that did carry down were steadily growing louder and when they looked up, the levels between them and the tell tale flashes of different artes were fewer.

"That's them, isn't it?" Luke commented a while later. His head was craned back and his sword leaned against the rock beside him. They sat in a secluded corner, the light of their guide more of a gentle glow than anything else. It had sputtered more than once and they decided that one last uninterrupted break was probably for the best before it disappeared completely.

"Most likely," Asch nodded then crunched on a cracker. With a twist of his wrist, the bag was offered to Luke who sighed and took it reluctantly. He chewed on a few as Asch stood and stretched then looped around their 'camp'.

"You were right," Luke muttered just as Asch ducked behind a broken wall.

"Of course I was," came the quick reply before his head reappeared with a cocky smirk, "you doubted me?" Luke whipped a cracker at him and he ducked down again before it could smack him in the face. "Never mind, of course you did."

"They didn't come for me last time."

"Guy did, I think you'll remember."

"Yeah, but that's..."

"Just one person, I know," Asch rose again, inspecting something in his hands before he discarded it. Luke slouched against the short wall at his back and raised a foot to brace himself on the rock. "But I have it in fairly good confidence that the rest of them are just as willing this time."

Luke grunted a question and Asch stepped out from behind the wall. What do you mean? His head tilted as he watched Luke spin a cracker between his fingers before biting into it. Consciously or not, he was trying to be smaller without being obvious. Luke shot him a look and his foot dropped back down to the ground. Asch sent him a quick bemused smirk as he approached.

"You didn't see them before we, well," He waved his hand in a vague gesture towards their location before he crouched in front of Luke, "just don't be afraid to tell them to back off if it gets to be too much." Gloved fingers reached out and brushed the hair out of his face before pulling back and Luke sucked in a surprised breath. Asch stood again to continue his loop, acting as if the action was as common as breathing and, after another breath, Luke found himself marvelling at the notion that it could be.

He swallowed hard and occupied himself with eating more of the crackers. They were dry and bland on his tongue and just a little bit stale and he focused on that so he didn't have to focus on Asch. His attempt crashed and burned hard when Asch settled back at his side, their arms pressed flush together. He focused on Asch's amusement instead and tried to react to that.

"Why do you keep-" He cut himself off, his exaggerated disgruntlement breaking as the words got caught in his throat and Asch sent him a knowing look out of the corner of his eye.

"Touching you?" He finished though he knew it didn't cover everything Luke was questioning. But it covered enough and Luke nodded with another hard swallow. "You want it, for one," he raised his hand, palm down, and Luke's twisted around for him to take before he even finished the thought. He didn't though and Asch's fingers fluttered tauntingly above his waiting hand. Luke grunted his understanding.

"What about you, then?" he let his hand relax and craned his head back once more. The bag of crackers dangled loosely from his other hand as he scanned the rest of the tower they had yet to climb. There was a point where the obvious tiers stopped and turned into a pillar that disappeared quickly into the darkness.

"Why don't you look for yourself," Asch said and Luke's head jerked to the side, eyes wide. A brow rose and Luke realized that Asch's hand was still raised, still waiting. He looked at it but didn't make a move for it yet. Instead he reached back along their connection because it was something he could do now. Something he was allowed to do and oh-

The bag dropped to the ground.

"You-" Asch nodded and he fell silent. For all their differences, they were still the same in a lot of ways. Luke laughed a nervous strain to ease the sudden racing of his heart and took Asch's hand in his. He laced their fingers together and held on tight and he didn't need to see to know that Asch was smiling, soft and wholly new.

"It'll take some getting used to," he said quietly, his voice filled with the same sort of wonder that kept Luke's heart pounding, "but I'm not entirely opposed to it. Just don't go expecting that I'll suddenly be touchy-feely around your friends." And Luke laughed again, light-hearted and just slightly more free because he knew as Asch knew in that moment that they didn't need the contact. That it was there to reinforce the new thing that they had, whatever that thing was.

Their guiding light drifted over and hovered just above their joined hands where it flared once then disappeared. Luke blinked and the laughter died in his throat as Asch cursed.

"Grab your sword, we're moving," he directed as he stood and Luke wasted no time, managing to grab the sword just as Asch pulled him out of reach. Ahead of them, something flared and he barely looked up in time for it to fade again.

"Think we'll actually fight something now?" he asked, a half smile pulling at his lips as before he stumbled over a rock. Asch barked a laugh and tugged his hand to keep him upright.

"Not like that, I hope," he said then turned, following another dim flare ahead. Luke huffed and worked to keep his pace in time with Asch's as he was pulled along. Another turn, another flare, and they were climbing stairs, tripping and barely keeping upright as they went up one – no they were still going – two levels.

"Do you think they're close?" He asked. He sensed more than saw the nod.

"They're just above us," Asch said and once Luke listened passed the noise they were making, he could barely hear the commotion before it grew quiet again. "If we're lucky, there'll be another set of stairs and we won't have to go all the way around." The light flared and there wasn't one. Luke bit down a groan and sped up instead.

Then they were running, chasing the light that grew dimmer with every flare. Initially, he didn't hear it over the sounds of their shoes echoing loudly on the stone but the unmistakable sound of battle was getting louder and he realized with another dying flare that it was getting brighter too.

"Asch," he gasped, slightly out of breath and Asch grunted in response and pulled his sword free.

"Second fonon," he said, finally letting go as he pulled ahead, "sense it. Use it."

"What?"

'Attack, I'll guide you through it. We have to fight but you have no armor and Stalagmite should be basic enough for you.'

'Fine,' he agreed with a put upon sigh and slowed, allowing the distance between them to grow. The light flared again, barely distinguishable among the lightening gloom and he took a deep breath.

'The second fonon's there,' and as if it had been handed to him, he could feel the currents in the air and the ground. 'Pull it, guide it. It knows what it wants to do, you just need to prompt it.'

They rounded the corner and he could see them ahead, entirely focused on the fight in the light of their torches and he noted Asch's silhouette as he scaled the walls. A singular attack from above and below, right. He breathed and traced the fonons, pulling and guiding, around and below. There was only one enemy left, a pale thing and practically hairless but fierce with its teeth and talons and he attacked.

His breath left in a rush and the words barely made a sound but the arte was cast as his arm thrust upwards and Asch dropped from above like lightning in a storm. No, he was the lightning, piercing the monster with a brilliant flash of violet light as jagged rocks rose and all but crushed the thing between them.

It screeched and spit as it flailed but Asch's blade was already moving as was he and with a sharp flick of Asch's wrist, the creature was tossed in the air in a spray of blood. Luke was there to catch it, his own blade aimed true and its wail was cut off as its head split from its body. He panted, sparing a single glance for the carcass where it fell before he straightened and took a deep breath.

But something was wrong, he could sense it before he even turned back and when he looked at Asch, he wasn't even looking back at him – but he knew that of course he did-

"Luke." He blinked and looked beyond Asch with a sharp breath and into his own face. Again.

Loathed child of sound...