THANKS FOR READING THIS IS A SHORT CHAPTER BECAUSE THE STORY ISNT READY TO GO IN DEPTH YET CHAPTER 6 IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG AND I LIKED HOW THIS CHAPTER ENDED SORRY!
Chapter 5: Fading Memories
-Running I'm running, from what? Who knows anymore….. Fading like my mind, unstable like this world who needs this pain? My head aches my heart clenches with remorse. Of what? Of what, why? Why? My head throbs almost in a scolding way I don't want to remember, I don't need to remember why is it so painful? - Nani mo
-Line Break-
I wake up in a cold sweat. Why? I feel nostalgic just being within Sato-san's presence. How? I should have no ties to him, this village, or anyone or anything. He's sleeping next to me yet again. Why is it so comforting to know this? It's all like a horrible dream. The hope that he is giving to me should be crushed and diminished. Am I being selfish? I strangely just want to enveloped in his warmth. I lay back down on the bed. I just hope that this feeling won't fade away when this dream ends.
-Line Break-
"Sato-san you still haven't answered my question." He only merely glances back at me. We are currently in a less populated part of town. We are just wondering around aimlessly, its seems that we have developed an annoying habit, or rather my habit of being dragged around by Sato-san. " Sato-san" He seems distant I know he's not even paying attention to anything anymore, his eyes look glazed over.
" Hai (yes)?" He turns to look at me with the same look in his eye. For some reason I can't fathom it bothers me. Before I can even make another sound a stinging pain shoots up in my leg. I can't even begin to explain the immense pain that is soaring inside my leg. I can't even scream. My body tenses and I find myself unable to move probably from shock.
I feel myself falling over. The pain only increases by ten-fold. The pain is making me dizzy and my sight blurry. I see Sato-san towering over me. His gaze is dead while he looks upon me. The last thing I see before I pass out is Sato-san decapitating someone before my vision goes black.
Flashback
Why, why does it hurt? Blood on the floors on the walls and even on my hands. Water dripping down my face are they tears? The rain soaking my kimono. Am I even capable of tears anymore? The cracks in the walls was this my home? The bodies on the floor. Where did it all go? Why can't I remember? Why do I want to remember? My hair is as pristine as possible. My kimino would look fine if it wasn't for the blood stains soaking into it. Alone in front of the forsaken household. I'm being overwhelmed by a new feeling. Numbness.
No feeling, should I feel grief? Screams are they my own or of those around me? I can't even tell anymore.
-LineBreak-
"Shit" I groggily open my eyes. I try to sit up but I found it enormously painful so I give up on my pitiful attempt. I turn my head to the side trying in vain to open my eyes more than they are letting me. A bright light suddenly invades my eyes and makes me see less than I can actually see, which isn't much to begin with anyway. It's like I'm almost blind but for those few little specks of light. They annoy me.
I feel so helpless right now. I hate asking for help or being in the care of someone else. "King" Why did that come to my mind? In this given moment I strangely feel at peace. I could be on the brink of death right now for all I care I feel content. It's funny I feel so happy to be at rest. Lay me down to sleep so my soul will reap. Reap my sins? For that I don't even know all the sins that have condemned me to this world. Maybe that was the cause of my misfortune? Not knowing what I did to be damned in this world.
Depression. I don't believe I ever have been depressed. I just don't feel anything. I feel nothing but numbness. I don't feel like I'm cold hearted like some people say. I'm just unable to feel anything. Nani mo is a fit name for a person like me. I'm insignificant to this world no one will miss me when I die, and sadly I actually prefer to have it that way. I don't want anyone to feel any emotion for me when sadly I can't feel the same for them.
If I died right now I would be at peace. Surprisingly that doesn't scare me.