AN: Hey everyone. I am extremely sorry for the terribly late update of this final chapter. A lot came up since the last update that I found I couldn't motivate myself to write, and writer's block sure didn't help either. I'd like to thank you all for reading my crazy story and sticking with me and being patient with me despite my absence. I really appreciate the support I have gotten, it really motivated me to (eventually) continue with it. I really hope you enjoy this final chapter.
I'd like to thank everyone who has favourited, followed or left a review or a PM about my fic, or read it. I really appreciate the time taken to let me know how you feel about my story, whether it is good or bad. I'd also like to thank NoGears for the support she has given to me.
CHAPTER 8
It had been a few months since the two boys entered the Organization. They had woken up in a dark city holding hands and were spotted by the man who used to be known as Braig. It had been unusual that Isa didn't turn up in the city first then Lea a little later. It was as if he'd waited on him.
After their missions Axel and Saix-which they were now named- would meet up on the large tower in Twilight Town to discuss their days and bitch about their disdain for being forced to work with people they no longer trusted. And of course they had their ice-cream. However, their meetings had become fewer over time due to the two having separate missions all the time.
Axel bit a chunk from his ice-cream and almost cried since it had been so long since he'd last had one- especially with his best friend. 'From now on, I promise to have at least one of you a day,' Axel promised his ice-cream.
Saix took a bite of his but instantly regretted it as it caused painful brain-freeze. "It's so cold!"
"The hint's in the name man," Axel giggled, "ICE cream, got it memorised?"
"Thank goodness you're here! You almost stopped me from causing myself brain freeze!" Saix said sarcastically.
"You know you love me," Axel laughed. "How awesome a super-hero would I be!?"
"Yeah, 'Almost man', I almost saved your cat from that burning building but at least I tried. You know you love me, got it memorised?" Saix joked. Axel smacked the back of his head playfully.
"I mean with my fire power and awesome chakrams!" Axel announced standing and posing with his weapons.
"Ah…so you'd actually be the one to have set the building on fire in the first place…yeah I see that!"
Axel sunk down and jokingly glared at Saix. 'At least he's back to what he used to be again,' Axel thought, looking at Saix who continued to eat his ice-cream in silence. 'Maybe he was just stressed back in Radiant Garden because of his scientist duties…maybe it wasn't Xehanort's fault he changed.' "Isa, why can't we just up and leave here? They don't seem to really include us in much any more and they wouldn't miss us."
Saix looked down below his feet at the tiny dots he assumed were people. "They said if we left them they'd track us down and turn us into dusks. Apparently that's a bad thing. At least we have wills."
"Well that sucks."
"But we can't just trust these people. It makes no sense that after all they went through to remove our hearts, they'd suddenly want them back again. They're up to something."
"Definitely sounds odd… but maybe, like they said, they realised that they've done something wrong or maybe we'll all become even more powerful if we return with our hearts again?"
"Hmm…maybe," Saix considered. He then changed the subject. "It's strange that we've been acting as we were as somebodies yet we cannot feel anything. We even force laughter and emotional pain."
Axel nodded. He was right. He felt nothing. He only acted as he once was to keep the memories alive. They even still called each-other by their old names to keep their memories alive.
"Let's make a plan," Saix announced. Axel listened up in interest. "We will take over the organization for ourselves to ensure we get our hearts back. Xemnas may not be the same guy as Xehanort, but we have to be wary since he is his nobody. We could try and make our way up by getting in with the top dogs."
"What do you mean we make our way up? Surely the others are first in line. Wait, you don't mean…?"
"No I'm not saying we kill them or anything… maybe just make it evident that we're performing better in our missions and everything," Saix reasoned. "Do you think they all knew what Xehanort was going to do to us?"
"It's very likely," Axel voiced. "They were already close to each-other. We were the outsiders."
"Even Ienzo?" Saix asked, sounding more hurt than usual. Axel shrugged.
"Anyway," Axel yawned, standing and stretching, "we step up our game starting tomorrow." He helped Saix to his feet and smiled. "Just… be careful. I don't wanna see you getting hurt again."
"Don't worry, Lea, I should be the one worried about you. You're always getting us both into trouble."
"Yeah, right! Actually… that's probably true," Axel admitted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "But just promise me you won't get in too deep."
"I promise, Lea, there's no need to be over-protective," Saix reassured him, "Do you really think I'd dive in too deep after what they did to us?" He dug into the pockets of his over-sized organization cloak to pull out the red stone Lea gave him. "Look, I still have the stone you gave me to keep me on the right path."
Axel was so impressed that Saix still had that and smiled. He hugged his friend close much to Saix's feigned disgust and yawned, "Well I am exhausted. I guess I'll see you here tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Saix droned. "Good night, Lea." He watched Axel walk away. He squeezed the stone close to where his heart should be.
"So, Xehanort?" Xigbar began speaking to Xemnas, much to Xemnas' dismay.
"That is no longer my name, do not use it," Xemnas warned the smirking man. Xigbar shrugged.
"Same thing, really. You're still the same guy!" Xigbar poked Xemnas' ribs with his elbow. Xemnas sighed and turned around to look out the glass down at the level below where Saix had just appeared. He was talking to Vexen about something but…he was smiling? "Have you gathered anything about how VII and VIII are getting on? Have there been any changes in behaviour?"
"Do you mean is Lea still an obnoxious but hilarious little kid and is Isa still being a whiny little bitch about everything?" Xigbar laughed but his laughter disappeared when Xemnas turned and glared at him. 'He says he's not the same guy!? Then he's got a lot in common with that other guy, including that glare!'
"For one thing they are not Lea and Isa any more. Second, those are not emotions they should feel considering they have no hearts. Third, do not ridicule a colleague in front of me! Lastly, when I ask a question you answer it without your childish remarks, understand?" Xemnas fumed. Xigbar put his hands up to keep Xemnas away.
"Okay! Okay! No need for the lecture! I get it!" Xigbar replied in his usual laid-back tone. "To answer your question, SAIX seems to have changed a lot from the later Isa, when you tampered with his heart. Now he seems more like the Isa that he was to begin with, you know, before the tamperin'. Maybe even a little happier." Xemnas nodded as if this was already clear to him and was urging him to go on further quickly.
"That's all I know Xem, it's not as if they're gonna tell me why Saix was acting like this."
"Surely there is something you can find out!" Xemnas yelled, pacing the floor. "I want you to find out what is making him act like he has a heart- and a light one at that! With everyone else, they have either accepted they have no heart and are emotionless beings while others are acting the role of what they were like just before falling, yet he seems happy! He's nothing like the state Isa was in when he turned."
Xigbar agreed. "Okay! Calm down, I'll keep an eye on the kid. Dunno why you're so bothered, it's better than having that grump around." Xemnas glared at Xigbar for that statement but Xigbar raised his hands again before leaving Xemnas to his thoughts. Xemnas returned his glance to the boy who was now alone in the room visible through the glass from him. "I'm not losing such a hopeful vessel."
The next day had arrived. Saix rose from his bed, rubbing his eyes and shaking off his slumber. He gazed out his window into the perpetual night and thought back to the dream that he had before waking.
Xemnas was there. He was trying to get to Saix but he couldn't. Lea stood in the way, blocking the annoyed man's path. Yet Xemnas seemed to dismiss Lea's presence and appeared to be speaking directly to Saix, though his voice was muted. Saix was hypnotised by the light that seemed to surround Lea in the dream. So hypnotised that he could not hear what the older man was trying to say to him. Saix could hear Lea telling him not to listen to Xemnas. But he couldn't even if he tried anyway. Lea reached his hand out to Saix and held the other boy's hand. Saix was then blinded by light and this was when he woke up.
Saix looked at the clock in his room. It was 9am yet outside it still looked like midnight. Isa always loved the night time at home. It was when he felt most relaxed. Everyone else would be asleep yet he would feel like going outside and just allowing the moon to bathe him in it's light. Sometimes Lea would force himself out of bed and take Isa to a hillside to watch the full moon. Even though Lea valued his sleep a LOT, he was willing to sacrifice it to make Isa happy. Now Isa...no Saix had to fix the problem Isa partly caused.
Saix reached into his pocket and pulled out the stone Lea gave him as a somebody. He squeezed it tight before putting it back in his pocket. Saix headed for the seating area to learn about his mission. Saix walked to Xigbar, twiddling his gloved fingers. Xigbar had just finished talking to Xaldin about his mission. Xigbar opened a corridor of darkness for Xaldin, and Saix watched as the older man was enveloped in the darkness before neither he nor the darkness were visible. Xigbar turned to the boy.
"Oh hey there, sunshine," Xigbar grinned, patting the boy's head which earned a groan from the boy. "Oh looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" he added, then raised an eyebrow. "You're not feeling different, are you?" Xigbar was hoping that the boy was finally showing results. Saix looked puzzled and wondered what the old man was getting at.
"Well...I guess I do feel a little different," Saix began. Xigbar perked up.
"Really? Like in what way? Grumpy?" Xigbar asked.
"Well I woke up really happy, but since I had to talk to you my mood crashed down to a level I've never felt before," Saix said in a completely serious tone but was obviously joking. Xigbar sighed.
"Princess, no need to be a smart-ass. Just not used to seeing you even cracking a smile, you can't blame me for being curious when you're known for being a grump."Saix pouted at that statement. He thought Lea was only joking when he called him that. Is that really how he came across to people? "Anyway, your mission..." Xigbar continued, "You will investigate the yadda yadda darkness blah blah destroyed land whatever," Xigbar babbled. Saix's face showed a hint of annoyance at Xigbar for leaving out the details of the mission. "And your partner is..." Xigbar said handing the clipboard to Saix. Saix hoped it would be his best friend, but his "heart" dropped when he noticed the name written on the paper. "Yours truly," Xigbar grinned.
Axel hid his face under his covers. Someone kept shaking him and telling him he was late for his mission, but his bed was just too comfortable to leave. Suddenly the covers were stripped from him and the tiny figure of Zexion was revealed to him. Axel shielded his eyes from the light in the room that blinded him.
"C'mon, Zexion there's no need to rush," Axel yawned and tried to grab his duvet back from the smaller boy. "Besides, a well-rested worker works better than a tired one." He managed to get the cover back and began to drift off again. Zexion playfully slapped Axel's head which caused the other boy to sit up quickly and rub the affected area. "Hey! An injured worker won't work well either!"
"And a lazy worker works the least," Zexion added. Axel pouted. Zexion smiled at the other boy.
"Fine." Axel pulled himself up and began to get ready. "You and Isa must have gotten close, you two have the same glare." Zexion walked out his room with his arms folded and Axel followed closely behind him. "So what's our mission today?" Axel asked rubbing his eyes, his eyes still adjusting to the bright white of the castle walls. "Investigating heartless? Saving Villagers?"
"Cleaning," Zexion muttered. Axel's face fell.
"I'm going back to bed," Axel groaned, stretching and heading back towards his room. Zexion ran after him and pulled him back.
"No! It's a request from Xemnas himself. Refusal will result in your 'Dusking'," Zexion yelled, pulling the other boy in the direction of a study at the end of the hall. Zexion pushed the door open as far as he could but the door was being blocked from opening fully by something. The two squeezed in the gap and then sighed at the sheer amount of books and paper scattered all over the ground. Mountains of paperwork covered every inch of the floor. Axel took one look at the mess and groaned.
"I'm definitely going back to bed," Axel joked, throwing himself down onto a chair. "What kinda mission is this anyway? Who made this mess?"
"I don't know," Zexion shrugged. He bent down and started collecting some pieces of paper. "I'm not going to waste my time asking questions. It was the mission Xigbar gave me, 'straight from Xemnas', Xigbar said. I'm not going to ask 'why?' or 'who did it?' My job is to do my mission."
"But, d'ya not think it's even a little strange?" Axel queried. "Every other mission I have had has involved investigation...or fighting...but this?" Axel added while holding up a book and placing it on a shelf.
"Sure it's a little suspicious," Zexion continued cleaning, "But maybe they just didn't have another mission for us and wanted to keep us busy." Axel sighed and knelt down beside Zexion, feeling defeated. That was probably it. Not everything Xemnas did needed to have some ulterior motive. Zexion was probably right. The silence in the room was deafening. Axel wanted to engage the younger in a conversation.
"Y'know, I could get rid of all these books in a matter of seconds by using my power," Axel chuckled, sparking a flame in his hand. This didn't even catch Zexion's attention. The boy continued to clean the room as if he was completely on his own. Axel extinguished the flame in his hand and sighed. Axel continued to watch Zexion cleaning furiously and putting books back as fast as he could. He noticed how much Zexion clung to Xemnas' word.
"S-so..." Axel began. However, Zexion never even lifted his head. "Why is it we need our hearts back all of a sudden? I thought they wanted to get of them." This forced Zexion to look at Axel with a slight glare.
"It was a mistake. An accident. Xemnas said so," Zexion mumbled.
"Do you really believe that?" Axel questioned, "I mean, it seems like a kinda stupid mistake to make to five different people and himse..."
"Enough!" Zexion interrupted, tears forming in his eyes. "X-Xemnas has a plan. Whether he l-lied or not, h-he's going to f-fix this. He p-promised!" Axel was taken aback by the reaction. He felt terrible that the boy was clearly hurt by his accusations. Wait, feeling bad? Crying? Surely someone without a heart could not express these emotions. Were his memories affecting his reactions that much?
"I'm s-sorry," Axel whispered, returning to his duties. Axel thought about the boy as he cleaned. It must have been tough for the boy to learn that the people who raised him betrayed him so easily. It seemed to Axel that Zexion didn't want to accept that they had treated him this way. Axel's kind heart needed to set things straight. "How 'bout we make this more exciting?" Axel smiled as Zexion raised an eyebrow. "A race to see who finishes first, and the loser buys the winner an ice-cream!" Axel's offer caused Zexion to laugh.
"Fine!" Zexion shouted, before moving as fast as he could to put the books back.
"I hope you have money little guy!" Axel teased as he joined the race, knowing full well that he was going to let the younger win.
Saix followed Xigbar to the other side of the dark corridor Xigbar created but as soon as he saw the world they were in, Saix fell to his knees. It was Radiant Garden, swimming in darkness. Saix felt the darkness attacking every one of his senses and he found it difficult to breathe. Xigbar seemed to be struggling a little too. Xigbar pulled the boy to his feet.
"We've got somethin' to collect here, princess. No sleepin' on the job now," Xigbar smirked, dragging the boy along. "It's just a little darkness, just takes a little gettin' used to. There's a lot more darkness here than at the castle, but you'll need ta start gettin' used to more dangerous levels."
"Wh-why are we here?" Saix coughed and tried to stand on his own two feet. Saix scanned the now darkened town-square. Isa and Lea used to play silly games around there when they were young kids. Now the paths were soiled by black and the skies were enveloped in a purplish hue. No birds flew in the sky and the once crowded streets were crawling with creatures of the dark. The only familiarity left was the moon, its light fought furiously with the darkness surrounding it. "Th-there's nothing here."
"I told ya we got somethin' to pick up," Xigbar answered, catching the boy before he fell down again. Before they could take another step, a horde of heartless encircled the two. Xigbar helped the boy become steady on his feet before allowing his weapons to materialise. "Well no time for chit-chat, we got company!"
Saix summoned his claymore and swung it at the closest enemy he could see, breathing a sigh of relief when it crumbled like dust. Saix could feel the power of the moon absorbing into him. He felt his scar aching and stretching a little across his face. He blanked out.
It was the same as his dream last night. Xemnas was there again, yelling at him but this time his voice was more audible. Lea, his figure still well-lit, was still guarding him but this time he was the one who was muted. Xemnas' annoyed expression changed into a smirk. He walked towards Saix, repeating the same line, "You are mine." Saix's only thought was to fight back.
When Saix awoke, a group of heartless were silently fading from existence and Xigbar stood at the sidelines, applauding. Saix panted as he felt his scar returning to normal and the moon was no longer having an influence on him. Saix was confused about what just happened.
"Not bad, kid!" Xigbar continued his applause while walking towards the boy, "Just shows ya Xemnas was right! And here I thought you were just a spoiled little brat!" He ceased his clapping when he reached the boy. Xigbar saw that Saix looked rather unwell. He placed his hand on the boy's back. "Woah kid, you okay?"
"Wh-what?" Saix breathed, feeling light-headed. His breathing wasn't calming down. He was panicking. What did Xemnas mean? What did those dreams mean? Was he in danger? The boy fell to his knees again and Xigbar knelt down next to him.
Suddenly, another group of heartless surrounded them causing Xigbar to curse as he tried to bring Saix to his feet, however they were both weakened from the last fight. Saix sneaked his hand into his pocket and hid the stone in his hand. He then held his clenched fist with the stone in it against his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to feel Lea's presence. He heard an amazed noise from Xigbar so he opened his eyes. He was shocked to witness the light being emitted from the stone and slowly vanquishing the dark creatures around them. The look of confusion on the older man's face signified how they both felt in that moment. Xigbar struggled to conjure up a dark corridor as the stone's light killed the last of the Heartless before the light faded. Saix slipped the stone back into his pocket quickly. Xigbar grabbed the boy and carried him through the portal to appear back safe in the castle, in Saix's room. The boy collapsed onto the floor but Xigbar began to violently shake him.
"Hey kid! What the hell was that!? You have ta tell me!" Xigbar yelled, but the boy had passed out. Xigbar sighed before carrying the boy to his bed. He was completely puzzled. Xehanort's plan never included the boy being able to wield light- in fact it was supposed to be the opposite. How could they fail so miserably? There had to be something else that was giving the boy this power. Xigbar's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a clatter on the floor. He looked down and saw the stone lying on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it. It didn't look very special- just an ordinary stone to him. He threw it in the air and caught it a couple of times. He smirked at the idea that Saix liked to collect stones. Xigbar placed the stone on a chest of drawers in the boy's room, before running off to report back to Xemnas.
"Haha! I knew I'd win!" Zexion mocked Axel, presenting his spotless side of the room. Axel looked back at his own almost-clean side. He sighed.
"Ah, well I guess you're right. I could never have beaten you at cleaning." Axel kind of liked seeing Zexion act as a kid again. He was always so serious and forced to grow up so quickly. It was nice to see him smile.
"And you owe me an ice-cream!" Zexion laughed. Axel shrugged.
"Yeah I guess I do," Axel surrendered, looking at his watch. It was almost time for him to meet up with Saix at the clock-tower. Axel rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, is it okay if we have ice-cream next time we get a break during the day? I still have my side to finish and I had plans with Is...I mean Saix today. I won't really have time today but I'll try to get time off work at some point," Zexion looked a little offended. Axel grabbed Zexion's hand. "Look, I promise. I really mean it. Just keep looking at the clock-tower for me and join me if I'm there." Zexion smiled a little and nodded. He then waved at Axel as he left the room. Axel turned back to the mess he still had to clean. He found this duty more tiring than his usual missions. He sang as he finished cleaning the mess.
After the mission was complete, Axel summoned a dark corridor and appeared in Twilight Town. Axel bought two ice-creams and made his way over to the clock-tower.
"Hey Isa! Sorry I'm a little late, I was..." Axel began as he turned the corner but realised his friend wasn't there. Axel sat down on the edge and began eating his ice-cream, glancing around every now and again for any sign of his buddy. Axel sighed and hoped he was okay. It wasn't the first time that Saix had missed out on their meetings, but he really hoped he'd make it today. Saix always worried him. He didn't want him to go down the wrong path like Isa had. But this time since they had no hearts it could end in an even bigger disaster than last time, and that was something Axel did not want to think about. He took another bite of his ice-cream and scanned around him one last time.
"I guess he's not coming," Axel sighed, sitting the melting ice-cream on the ledge before heading back to the castle. "I really wish they wouldn't have him so busy all the time."
"Something worked earlier," Xemnas told Xigbar who had rushed into his office. "Whatever you did keep doing it."
"You don't get it, sir," Xigbar started, "We were in Radiant Garden..." This forced a furious look on Xemnas' face but Xigbar continued, "Saix went berserk with his moon power and took out all the little beasties. Then he collapsed and more Heartless came. Then a beam of light shot out of his chest and took 'em all out again!" Xemnas looked confused at the eye-patched man. "And I swear I wasn't drinking this time!"
"What do you mean a beam of light? Where did it materialise from?" Xemnas questioned.
"I dunno! It just looked like it was from his chest! Or his hand, his hand was on his chest! It confused me too. I have no idea what just happened," Xigbar struggled to answer the question. "But what did you mean that something was working? What worked?"
"That's none of your business, but I think when he is in his berserk state he is at his most fragile and whatever light he is managing to gather is almost snuffed out. It is the best chance to get him on our side."
"Whaddaya mean 'none of my business'? I'm the one who found this 'weakness' of his!" Xigbar yelled, but was silenced when Xemnas glared. "Fine! Fine! Then it's also none of your business how I find these weaknesses," Xigbar teased before leaving the other man.
Xemnas was left to stew in his thoughts. He couldn't understand how Saix seemed to be protected from his advances. He thought of the times he tried to take over Saix's heart, which Saix saw as dreams. The projection of Lea guarding Saix seemed to be fading the further Saix and Axel were kept from each other, but there was still a bright light that protected Saix. Xemnas had no idea where the source of it was. He knew it had something to do with that pesky Lea. That boy's light seemed to glow so strongly that it enlightened Saix too. But he couldn't comprehend how the light was as strong when the boys were together rarely. There had to be something else...and he was going to find it.
Almost a year had passed and the boys were still working as hard as they could to appear worthy to the organization. Xemnas' plan to separate the boys was unfortunately in motion. Axel was kept extremely busy, handling mission after mission. The numerous amount of missions meant that Axel would go straight to sleep once he returned to the castle. For the first couple of weeks he waited to see if Saix would join him, but he too seemed too busy to spend any free time with his best friend. It seemed foolish to wait around there at night for no one to show up. He still hadn't been able to keep his promise to Zexion yet since he had so many missions during the day and was so tired by night.
Saix was also being kept busy, but he had very different duties. Saix took over the role Xigbar previously had. Saix would hand out the missions, do paperwork, sort them out and assign some of them to certain members of the organization, as well as a few field missions from time to time. Axel and Saix believed this was because of their hard work paying off, but Xemnas wanted to keep a closer eye on Saix and it seemed like an assured way to keep the two separated as much as possible. And it was working. The only times they could even converse was when the missions were being handed out. But they made sure to keep each other in their thoughts.
Axel dragged himself towards the grey area to find out his mission for today. His whole body ached after a solid week of physical missions and his head hurt from the amount of puzzles he had to solve on said missions. Axel stretched as he reached Saix. He really missed hanging around with his best friend. It had been so long since they had a proper chat.
"Hey buddy, what're they throwin' at me today?" Axel asked, patting Saix's shoulder. Saix rolled his eyes before flicking through the pages on his clipboard. He looked a little puzzled.
"Looks like you're off today, Axel," Saix mumbled. Saix calling him Axel always struck a nerve in him. Axel knew they weren't the same people, but Axel always wanted to see Saix as Isa, and hoped Saix saw him as Lea. They hadn't really changed had they? When Axel registered what Saix had said, Axel breathed a sigh of relief. All of his muscles needed a rest and his brain felt as if it was about to explode.
"Oh, thank Gaia!" Axel celebrated, patting Saix's arm again. "This break couldn't have come sooner. Thanks Is...Saix. I'll see ya tomorrow," Axel stretched his arms and his mind was set on bed.
"Wait!" Saix yelled after him. Axel turned at his friend's voice. "C-can we meet up somewhere? I think I can sneak away from work a bit later." Axel really needed to sleep, but there was no way he was going to turn down one of the only opportunities to hang out with his best friend. However, he was a little concerned that Saix could actually sneak away without being caught. That wouldn't end well.
"A-are you sure you can sneak away? I don't want you getting in trouble," Axel whispered to his friend.
"Don't worry, Lea. There's never anyone around when I'm working. I'm always on my own. As long as I catch up with the work later I don't see why there'd be a problem," Saix replied quietly, "Be at the clock-tower around 2PM and I'll join you around that time."
"Great," Axel replied. "I'll see you then." Axel was strangely excited for their meeting. It had been so long. Although his pain would need to be subsided, it would be worth it to see his friend again. For now though, Axel was going to catch up on a few hours sleep.
Axel woke again to muscles that ached even more than earlier and incredibly stiff joints. His head felt as if it were splitting in two as he pushed himself up from his bed. He caught sight of his clock and panicked as he only had a few minutes to get to the tower. Axel threw on his jacket and opened a dark corridor to the ice-cream shop in Twilight town, disregarding the civilians who may have been in the area at the time. After he received the pair of ice-creams, he ran towards the clock-tower despite how his legs were protesting against it. He reopened a corridor of darkness and appeared upon the clock-tower.
"So sorry I'm late," Axel apologised immediately. Saix was already sitting there with another pair of ice-creams in his hand.
"Oh! I didn't know you were getting them. Guess we're both having two!" Saix said.
"Who said one of these were yours?" Axel joked, and Saix pouted. Axel sat next to his friend and began biting his first ice-cream. The two sat in silence for a little while, appreciating the others' company.
"So, how have you been?" Axel piped up after finishing his first ice-cream. Saix looked at the lone stick in his friend's hand and wondered how he could have finished so quickly. Saix was only a quarter of the way down his yet Axel was onto his second.
"Uhh...yeah fine," Saix lied. He wondered if he should tell Lea of all the dreams he had been having. For the past year his dreams had intensified. Lea had pretty much disappeared from guarding him and in place of him stood just the light that used to outline him, leaving only Lea's silhouette to guard him. Xemnas was completely audible and extremely close to him. So close that he could almost touch him, if it wasn't for that light. Saix was terrified about what would happen if that light faded just like Lea had. But he was also terrified to tell Axel of the dreams, in case he rushed in like he usually did, firing first and asking questions later.
"You didn't sound very convincing there, Is'," Axel said concerned, after tearing into his second ice-cream. "What's going on? Did someone hurt you? Did something happen? Is', tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing," Saix spoke up, shrugging. "It's just...silly little dreams. More like nightmares, really."
"What are they about?"
"Nothing, really."
"Isa, don't lie to me."
"They're... dreams about Xemnas," Saix admitted and Axel looked annoyed. "But he can never get to me...because of this light. It stays in front of me and protects me. It shields me from him." Saix omitted the part where Lea used to be the one protecting him but had now faded, but he was afraid that Axel would get worried about it. "I...I think it has something to do with you. The light takes the shape of an outline of a person."
"Really? Well I do always pray that you're okay," Axel mentioned. "I'm glad I am protecting you in some way, but I wish I could do more to protect you. It's a promise I've made before and I want to keep it."
Saix was flattered by Axel's willingness to protect him and brought out his stone from his pocket. Axel's eyes lit up when he saw it. Saix twiddled it between his fingers, "I think it might be this. I keep this with me at all times and it even protected me once from the Heartless. It shone light brighter than I'd ever seen."
"You still have that?" Axel smiled, tears forming in his eyes. He never knew Saix could be as sentimental. "When I found that stone I made a wish to keep you safe from darkness. I then used my fire on it, hoping the wish would be emblazoned on it forever. I guess I've poured a piece of myself into the stone to be there when I can't in my physical form." Axel scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as Saix stared at the stone. Saix placed it down on the ledge next to him.
"Eew, I don't want it then," Saix mocked, then laughed when Axel playfully smacked his head.
"Well you've seemed to enjoy it's company for the past year, so looks like you rather like my company," Axel smiled smugly as Saix blushed slightly. Saix playfully smacked Axel back while hiding his face. Both of them missed this. Just joking with their friend.
Saix was still only halfway through his first ice-cream while Axel finished his second. Saix shook his head in disbelief before handing Axel his other ice-cream. "Going for a third?"
"You sure you don't want yours?" Axel asked, then celebrated when Saix shook his head. Axel snatched the ice-cream and began his third dessert. Saix looked Axel up and down and wondered where he put all that ice-cream. Axel interrupted Saix's thoughts.
"J-just...be careful. Never trust Xemnas. He's bad news." Axel warned. "If that light is the only thing protecting you from him, and not your own will, then I guess I have more work to do." This made Saix gulp. Why did he feel so helpless around Xehanort? Was he that weak-willed? Was he that gullible and easily tricked? Saix bowed his head in shame. "You're incredibly strong Isa, I know you can overpower anything he throws at you. You just have to believe that you can." Saix wished he could agree. In his dreams he felt as though that light was the only thing keeping him from accepting Xemnas. He had no idea what was pressuring him, but he felt it. It almost felt like hypnosis. "Promise you'll fight against him?"
"I...promise," Saix whimpered. Saix was suddenly pulled into a hug by Axel. Once he was over the initial shock, Saix hugged back, having a bad feeling this was going to be the last time for a while that they'd interact like this. The two fell back from the hug before watching the everlasting sunset in Twilight Town. The two lay back with their legs hanging off the edge of the clock-tower. They talked about all the things they'd seen on their missions. About some of the silly stuff other members had said. About times that they severely messed up on a mission. They let each other know almost everything. Not the serious stuff though. They were too happy right now to drag each other down. And the biggest downer was the fact that the organisation was to separate them again.
"I need to go," Saix sat up, a little panicked that he had stayed longer than he intended, since they were having too much fun. "I'm sorry, Lea." Saix put his stone back in his pocket and jumped to his feet. Before he could leave Axel ran and hugged him again, unsure of what to say in that moment. They both knew this could be the last time for a long time. Saix hugged him back. The two of them closed their eyes and were transported to a hill in Radiant Garden. They were Lea and Isa again and the only worries they had were 'who was living in that big castle?' and 'who was that blonde boy who appeared in the square with that key-shaped weapon?' When they opened their eyes though they were back in their organization cloaks and on the clock-tower.
"Remember, you're my best friend," Axel said to Saix as he rushed off.
"Remember, you're my best friend," Saix yelled back.
If only there wasn't a pair of unwanted ears listening into their conversation. The eavesdropper smirked from around the corner before opening a corridor of darkness.
Saix walked back into his study to continue the work he had put on hold to hang out with Axel. He was a little later than he expected so it meant he had to work a lot faster than he intended. Hopefully Xemnas wouldn't punish him too harshly if he had to finish the rest tomorrow. When Saix arrived at the study door, he was sure he heard a creak from inside the room. Saix slowly pushed the door open and peaked his head around the door. There didn't seem to be anything there so he walked in, only to hear the door slam behind him. Saix turned to see Xemnas had been hiding behind the door. Saix gasped before trying to think of an explanation to where he had been.
"S-sir I'm sorry I was just..." Saix started but Xemnas signalled him to be quiet as he walked closer to him.
"You were just with Axel," Xemnas growled as Saix was left speechless. How did he know?
"N-no I..."
"Don't lie to me. Did you really think I would let you skip work without there being any consequences? Do you think I'm a fool?" Xemnas was getting increasingly furious. He was now centimetres from him as he grabbed the boy by the collar. Saix turned his face away, being reminded of the time he was given his scar.
"I'm...I'm s-sorry!" Saix stammered, feeling as if he was about to cry. He didn't want to bear the brunt of another one of this man's punishments. Xemnas smirked at how much Saix seemed to be afraid of him.
"Oh you will be sorry," Xemnas growled, punching the boy in the stomach and letting him fall to the ground, doubling over in pain. When Saix was holding onto his stomach, he noticed that a very familiar lump was gone. The stone Lea gave to him. Saix panicked looking for it, searching in both pockets and on the ground around him. It was his only hope to protect himself from Xemnas' wrath.
"Looking for something?" The older man laughed. Saix slowly raised his head to find that Xemnas held the stone between his thumb and index finger. Saix's eyes widened and felt his non-existent heart drop.
"P-please give me that b-back," Saix begged. It seemed to be the only part of Lea he had left. He relied on it to protect him. "I n-need it."
"Oh, really?" Xemnas threw it up in the air and caught it. "Then I'll give you a choice." Saix's eyes brightened with hope. He should have known not to get his hopes up. "I smash this into a million pieces...or I smash Axel into a million pieces...you decide." Xemnas was informed of the stone's protective power over Saix, given to it by Lea. But he also knew that Axel wanted to protect Saix too. Both of them stood in his way to him possessing another perfect vessel. He saw how the choice tore Saix apart. There was no way he was going to get rid of his friend over a rock, no matter how special it was. Saix bowed his head and silent tears ran down his cheeks.
"The stone..." Saix gave in, lowering himself to the ground as far as he could go. Xemnas smirked and threw the stone on the floor. Saix noticed some dark power oozing from Xemnas' boot. Xemnas then lifted said foot then crushed the stone into the floor. Saix sobbed silently at the sight of the shattered stone all over the floor. But the tears weren't from sadness, they were from anger. The only feeling he was left with after the stone smashed. Saix felt his anger building. That all too familiar feeling began to rush through his body. He knew he had to stop it though. The last time he went berserk Xemnas got closer than ever. And without his stone he had nothing to protect him. It was difficult though to fight the urge to use his power against Xemnas, since he stole his heart, almost completely separated him from his best friend and then just broke something extremely important to him. Thinking about his reasoning why he should use his powers only made the feelings accumulate. His power was about to wash over him when he heard a voice.
'Saix is not that weak.'
'He's strong, the strongest person I've ever known.'
Saix clenched his fists and curled his toes as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't let Xemnas win. Saix forced himself to breathe deeply, fighting against the pain that ripped through his head and body at that moment, his power yearning to take over him. Xemnas looked on in disgust, furious that the boy could one day learn to fully control his berserker takeover. He needed it to allow him better access. He was a simple target that way and before there was no escape. He had to make sure it stayed that way. Saix had almost returned to normal when Xemnas kicked him with the same boot that had earlier smashed his stone to pieces. Saix groaned in pain but still applied all of his focus into keeping his temper under control.
"Get that work finished!" Xemnas warned through gritted teeth before storming out, leaving the boy panting for breath to keep control. Saix slammed his fist against the floor, letting the last of his anger flow out from him. He then began laughing to himself. It was a forced laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. He was able to stop himself from losing control. But without the anger, he was left with nothing. Just emptiness. He could hardly bare it. He had to talk to Axel. He knew it wasn't the best time but he didn't have the feelings to care what happened to him if he left his work again. He just had to see the comforting smile of his friend again.
Just when Axel was about to leave the clock-tower, he heard a small voice calling him back.
"Hey Axel! Are we finally ready for that ice-cream?" Zexion giggled, sitting next to the lean, red-headed boy. He had two popsicles in his tiny hands. "I saw you from down on the street, and bought two in case I managed to catch you. Are you free?" The younger boy seemed rather happy which was a pretty rare thing to see. Axel wasn't expecting his presence and started thinking about the idea of him having his fourth ice-cream of the day. Axel was still tired and really didn't feel this was really the right time, but he'd rejected the boy on so many occasions that he just felt terrible. And Axel made a promise, and he always kept his promises.
"Sure," Axel sighed, stretching out his arms and legs before sitting down yet again for yet another ice-cream. Zexion handed the other boy the ice-cream. Although Axel was tired and aching, this meeting could probably at least cheer him up. His meet-up with Saix left him a little down, since he knew things wouldn't be the same between them for a long time. That really hurt Axel to think about.
"Something wrong?" Zexion interrupted Axel's worries. Axel looked at the boy. There was no point in lying to him. He could tell that Zexion knew how the other boy was feeling. Axel sighed audibly.
"It's just...I miss Isa. I never get to see him...or should I say Saix... and it...I know it sounds stupid since we don't have hearts but...it hurts."
"Maybe you just remember what it was like as a somebody?"
"Nah, Isa and I were never truly separated. Even when his parents tried to, we still managed to see each other," Axel smiled at the memory. "But now we never really talk. We're both kept so busy. What hurts the most though is that I feel his pain. I feel that he needs to be protected yet I'm nowhere near to help. Right now my chest is hurting more than ever." Axel said clenching his fist against his chest.
"But you can't protect him forever. I mean, you can only do so much," Zexion went onto explain, "You're his friend, not his guardian angel...or his knight in shining armour. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You shouldn't blame yourself."
"I-I guess you're right. He's not weak or anything. I just worry that there's something he can't handle. He's been through a lot, and knowing he's sometimes alone with...certain people...it just scares me that he'll get hurt again and I'm not there to stop it. I'd never forgive myself."
"Well, maybe he's stronger than you think. Xemnas told me himself that Saix is one of our stronger members. Do you really think he can't defend himself? Does he need you to take care of him 24/7?"
That statement hurt Axel a bit, even though he knew Zexion never intended to hurt him with it. 'Zexion is right. Saix isn't that weak. He's strong, the strongest person I've ever known. He can defend himself. He doesn't need me to take care of him 24/7. He...doesn't need me...' Axel thought and choked on that last part.
"Axel, just relax. Saix will be fine. Just be his friend, not his mother," Zexion joked which made Axel laugh.
"I guess you're right," Axel sighed, before changing the subject. "So how's work been?"
"Just really been working with Vexen and Lexaeus most of the time. Nothing too exciting."
"Oh right, what you guys doin'? I never see you guys that much around the castle."
"That's top secret," Zexion pointed at his nose, "Nosey." Axel laughed.
"Hey! Says the guy who's been stalking me, waiting to have ice-cream!"
"Well you promised, and now that you mention it you owe me money for those!"
"Oh...uh...well you see...I left my wallet..."
"Don't try it!"
Their playful argument lasted for quite a while and Axel was having a lot of fun. It really took his mind off things and he could stop worrying for a minute. His heart was so big that he cared too much, but it was nice to let go every now and again. Yet he was soon forced to worry again about his friend. He felt he was in big trouble, but no matter how much Axel tried to lend his power to Saix, it was somehow being rejected, which unsettled Axel to no end. He turned around, feeling the presence of someone behind them, but there was no one there.
"So, the stone has been protecting him all this time?" Xigbar asked, trying to get Xemnas to confirm. "How come?" Xigbar looked at the other man confused. Xemnas turned to him.
"It seems like the memory of Lea attached itself to the stone."
"Yeah I heard Axel sayin' something like that, but how did it protect him?"
"I'm assuming that having the memory of Lea from the stone, Saix was able to feel like Isa again, as if he had a heart. On top of that he had some of Lea's light to protect him. I think that is why he has been acting so strangely. He knew that being robbed of his best friend would mean he would need to find some other way to keep his personality in tact. Now it's gone, and we can ensure that Saix and Axel hardly interact, Saix will almost definitely turn to our side." Xigbar nodded along to Xemnas' words.
"But how do you know it was definitely the stone? Has there been a change already?"
"In fact there has been. As soon as the stone was destroyed, Saix almost reverted to his berserker state. Since losing his heart he only has turned to that state when coming into contact with pure darkness or a full moon. Tonight there wasn't really either, and he was almost able to turn. It almost worked. Almost."
"Wait, almost?" Xigbar picked up on what Xemnas said.
"Yes...for some reason the boy was able to hold back his berserker form..." Xemnas began.
"So, the stone may not have been the reason?"
"Yes, I'm sure it is. I could see that empty look in the boy's eyes. His eyes screamed to me someone who was lost and looking for any direction to take. I blame his control on Axel's presence earlier in the day. They were able to reconnect and re-establish a bond, so I'm sure that helped him. But no more. The two have never to come in contact with each other with the exception of handing out missions, or under my permission. If you ever see them together, you report to me immediately, understand?" Xemnas warned, glaring at Xigbar.
"Okay, okay! Today was definitely my bad!" Xigbar admitted, raising both his hands. "I shoulda stopped the two from slinking off to the clock-tower when I saw 'em. But he's just a kid who misses his buddy. Ya shouldn't be too rough on him. You remember bein' a kid right?" Xigbar saw Xemnas wasn't pleased with that statement so he carried on his reasoning. "Too long ago, huh? But I got some juicy info, didn't I? He'd still have the stone if it wasn't for my mistake." Xemnas sighed and admitted Xigbar was right.
"But never again."
Saix was wandering the halls of the castle, lost in his thoughts. He couldn't take the empty feeling that took over him so suddenly. It was such a contrast to the feelings he experienced during the day. He thought it was silly that he was surprised about feeling empty when they were constantly told that they had no hearts and their feelings were lies, but this was the first time he felt that that was true. He needed to see Axel. He needed to confirm that these feelings were shared and that he was okay. Saix arrived at the end of the hall and opened a dark portal that transported him to the top of the clock-tower around the back from where they usually sat. Saix began walking towards the front, hoping Axel was still there. His prayers were answered, but unfortunately he had company. Zexion was still there. Laughing and joking with Axel. The two were goofing around on the ledge. Usually this would have brought a smile to his face, seeing Axel happy, but in this moment, his only feelings were that of jealousy and anger. Or at least the memory of those feelings that Isa used to feel, right?
'Hope you don't have friends like him'.
That was the only memory that came back to him in that moment. Not the times when Lea had been there for him, or the times Lea put Isa before himself. Not even the hours Axel spent with him earlier that day. No. The memory of when they met the blonde-haired boy. The jealousy from that time was magnified in this moment, and Saix could feel it consuming him a little. He clenched his fists and used a portal to return to the castle. He stormed to his room and threw himself down on the bed, trying to control his breathing. In that moment he felt completely alone. If he was able to see past his jealousy, he'd be able to see how he was over-reacting. Axel was just having fun with someone else. It was no big deal and he was able to have other friends. But at that moment his jealousy clouded every good thought of Axel. He was reminded that he was usually alone. He worked alone, unlike everyone else. His room was secluded from everyone else's. Even on his days off he spent them on his own. He knew it was time to use this solitude to his advantage. He knew it was time to forget about Axel and potential friendships. He now had to focus all his attention on his goal to reclaim his heart. That way he would have his real friend back, and have himself back. And he was going to teach himself to be willing to sacrifice anything to achieve that goal.
He'd promised to protect Lea. And this seemed like the only way to truly do it. To bring back his best friend's heart.
Saix lulled himself into a deep sleep, and just like clockwork, Xemnas was there waiting on him in his dream. Neither Lea nor the light appeared in front of him to guard him, yet Saix no longer felt worried about the absence of his guardians.
"What do you want from me?" Saix demanded straight away, which gained a chuckle from the other man. Xemnas walked to him, grabbed his chin, tilted his head upwards and looked into his eyes. He smiled.
"Well to be honest I want you...or what's left of you." Saix furled his brow and wrinkled his nose before pushing his head away from Xemnas and backing away. But he felt a strange sensation on his chin. He touched the spot with his hand only to see that a strange dark patch now appeared on his hand. Saix looked at it confused. It slowly began to spread down his fingers which caused Saix to lose a bit of his composure.
'That's it,' Xemnas thought. 'The more darkness he has the more control I have. And the more darkness, the more likely he'll turn to his berserker state. If he tries to fight the darkness, he will no doubt go berserk. It's an endless cycle. I could see in his eyes how lost he truly is.'
"What have you done?" Saix yelled, his hands shaking. He began to feel his breathing becoming more difficult again. He had to calm himself again. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly as Xemnas spoke.
"Just let it happen." Xemnas closed the gap between them again, placing his hands on each of Saix's arms. This forced Saix to open his eyes, to find Xemnas was looking deep into his eyes. More darkness oozed from Xemnas' hands and spread to Saix's arms. He was hypnotised by those golden eyes, ones that now reflected his own. Eventually he snapped out of it and looked down at where Xemnas had made contact with him. He jumped when he noticed the darkness being passed to him. He used all his strength to push Xemnas away. Suddenly his claymore appeared in his hands and he felt tears of anger filling his eyes. He tried to control his breathing but the darkness was making it even more difficult to control. And the darkness seemed to be spreading a little faster now that he was getting angry. Xemnas smirked at the reaction.
"Is someone getting a little angry?" he mocked. Saix knew the best way to avoid it was to become emotionless. He gulped and breathed slowly and deeply. After a few minutes Saix replied.
"Just...tell me why you're being so relentless," Saix said calmly, using his weapon as a shield across his body. "Why are you so determined to get me?"
"Because I need you."
"For what?"
"I'm sure I've discussed with you before that this world has no place for those who easily turn to darkness. We're shunned for simply relying on what is natural to us. I want to create a new world where people like us can thrive...and you're one of the keys I need to fulfil that goal."
"What is natural about this?" Saix yelled, pointing at the darkness passed from the other man.
"Darkness doesn't just cling to anyone without serious repercussions. Most people can't handle or control the darkness and end up destroying themselves. You are an exception. You are strong." Saix stood still with his weapon still guarding him, not fazed by Xemnas' explanation. "I know I haven't given you a reason to trust me in the past, but I promise that the end will justify the means."
"I will help you achieve your goal, if you promise that one, you won't hurt Axel. That two: we'll get our hearts back and three... you stay back from me," Saix negotiated, and hoping that Xemnas staying back would prevent this darkness from taking him. He really didn't want to trust this man, but it seemed like the only way for the silver-haired man to trust him. Xemnas smirked and walked a little closer, but Saix warned him off with his claymore. Xemnas put his hands up, but didn't really seem bothered about the threat.
"Seems like we have ourselves a deal."
As the years flew by, the young boys grew into men, but were hardly able to see each other. Many hardships were faced by the two, but they always kept each other in their thoughts, Axel in particular. Numerous new members entered the organisation, many new people for Axel to make friends with but he still missed what used to be with his old friend. Saix had became more and more detached as the years went on. He convinced Axel it was just a ruse so that Xemnas would believe they were on his side. The more time went on though, Axel was less convinced that this was Saix acting, and more of who he'd actually become. He was so obsessed with the idea of them overthrowing Xemnas. He wasn't the innocent Isa he once knew. It was as if Xemnas created a cruel copy of his best friend: the same looks, voice and goals, yet devoid of all his kindness, conscience, warmth and tact.
Axel hardly even noticed the change until the newest members, Roxas and Xion, joined their group. Never before had Saix been so unnecessarily cruel to anyone the way he was to them. And practically ordering Axel to kill a team member? Isa would never do any of that. The more Saix felt jealousy towards those younger members, the more darkness he gained and the more Xehanort could take control. Axel stuck around so long because he didn't care if Saix hurt him, ordered him around or got him into trouble, because he promised Isa he'd be there to bring him back, and he wanted to believe that his friend was still in there, even if Saix hurt him in the process. But throwing other people under the bus so they could accomplish their own goals seemed monstrous, and Axel wished he'd noticed sooner. But there was no way this was really him. This shadow was betraying Isa's memory. A constant reminder of the friend he had lost so long ago. It hurt to even see him now. Saix was the only thing convincing Axel that they could be devoid of hearts, since everyone else seemed to act as if they had one.
After Roxas left and Axel soon followed, he was gutted to see that Saix was the one who was sent to hunt him down, and even more upset that the bluenette agreed. Yet, despite Saix's tracking and hurting Axel, and even kidnapping the girl they once teamed up to save, Axel refused to put any effort into fighting him. He couldn't hurt anything that resembled Isa, even though Saix seemed to have no problem hurting him at that moment. Did Saix feel betrayed by him? Maybe. He left him on his own again. But Axel couldn't stand seeing that face saying those hurtful words. He couldn't stand Xemnas blatantly lying to them. And he couldn't stand Saix now trusting what that man would say. He accepted it was better to believe that his friend disappeared that day on the clock-tower, when they were last happy together eating ice-cream.
When Lea was revived in Radiant Garden, his heart beating and full of hope, he needed to know that Isa was back in his regular form. His heart dropped when he, Braig and Xehanort were not around. He set off to find them, in the valiant hopes that his best friend finally had his heart back, and the goal Saix was so obsessed with achieving was finally completed. Now the tides had changed, Lea was now the one hunting Isa down, but Lea hoped that this time it wouldn't end in anyone disappearing. Risking his life using darkness again to walk the dark corridors was risky, but it was worth it if he could bring back his friend. Tearing across worlds, scanning every city, Lea searched for his lost friend.
Golden eyes. That's all Isa could see. So much time had passed that his entire body was covered in a goo-like darkness, only leaving his left eye uncovered. That eye was hypnotised by the pair of eyes staring back at him. Suddenly that pair of golden eyes lit up for a second, and Isa lost consciousness for a few minutes.
And there he was.
"Isa!"
It was all Lea could say. He was speechless seeing Isa jumping out to attack him in the World That Never Was round room. Why would he willingly join Xehanort after all they'd been through? This is the only way he wasn't getting his heart back, yet he seemed to have chosen that path? Something didn't add up. Why hadn't Saix grown a heart when he did? Lea felt a little guilty about that. As Isa faded away with the rest of the Xehanorts, Axel was left to think about what just happened. Was that really Isa? Xemnas and Ansem were around, so was that actually Saix instead and Isa was somewhere safe? That was probably wishful thinking on Lea's part. He regretted thinking about it, but he knew that he probably was going to need to fight Isa in order to save him. Trying to make peace with him never helped last time. But one thing was for certain, Lea was going to keep his promise.
"I'll always be there to bring you back."
And he was going to return it...
His Best Friend's Heart.
AN: Again, thank you sooooooooooooo much for taking time to read my ramblings and being so patient. I appreciate it. I hope this didn't disappoint. Feel free to leave a review or to PM me with comments or constructive criticism. Thanks :)