Bless squad goals psychadelicrose and dollypopup for their eyes and ears~

For MeisterKasper's birthday

"The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing."
― Joshua Harris

There comes a boy at least once in your lifetime who you love, but could never be with. They call it the most tragic tale of all: the story that would be never written. The timing was never right for them, Tsubaki reasoned, though that was as far as reason went for them both.

Naturally, it had no reason to exist. They rarely talked, and when they did, it was always with the company of others next to them. And yet they would meet each other's eyes with unspoken words hovering between them, a secret only the both of them shared. Tsubaki would give a knowing smile and Kid would hold a twinkle in his eye, both entertained by their friends as a conversation exchanged between them with a single look.

She felt like darkness without a form, forever in a haze that separated her from any other. But when she was with him, she felt a warmth stir in her chest, gathering her into that very space– it was unsettling. Truly she thought her heart belonged to another already, but each time she believed the spark was snuffed, it reignited. Love was something uncontrollable, fierce in its nature, running rampant when the strongest of people tried to hold it in place.

Then what about him– her judgment was never wrong. His face was far too kind and his own heart too soft for her to ignore his own feelings as they just simmered just below the surface. Tsubaki wasn't blind, and it was certain that he knew of them as well. Still, there was never time for them in this universe nor would there ever be a place.

They were wrong, wrong, wrong.

But.

They had brief moments together where she felt like her dirty fantasies were coming to life. It was the greatest guilt of her day and the temptation of fruit from the garden of Eden. She had BlackStar to thank for the time she could spend with Kid, even if it was never alone. He had a competitive streak that could only be satisfied through battle and a _ that only Kid would fill. It was her luck that she was caught between a god and his champion.

The rivalry continued even after training, leaking into their daily lives. She could only roll her eyes at the spectacle as she tottered after Angela, swinging every which way in preparation to catch the child in case she fell as she ran in circles around the room, imitating what she saw on TV. Black*Star and Kid happened to be playing videogames in the living room, a friendly game of Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm that resulted in a shouting match and button mashing. Tsubaki smiled as Angela plopped down onto the floor, a sure sign that she wanted something as the thought happened to cross her mind. With a little urging, Angela glanced at the kitchen with eyes older than her physical form, asking for a snack and perhaps the leftover spaghetti from lunch.

Before Tsubaki could speak, Black*Star threw down his controller instead, announcing that he had to shake off his "un-victory" with a snack as well. And the two went hand-in-hand, disappearing into the next room. But with their departure came a new arrival, heavy tension filling the air around her.

She turned.

"Another one?" she teased at Kid, amused at the number of wins he'd managed to tally during the afternoon alone.

He scoffed at her, gently placing down the controller beside him. "It's not difficult when Blue Naruto here is formless. Going ape shit in the middle of a battle gets you nowhere."

At that, she gave him a withering look. "You're not wrong, not at all."

More than once, she wondered how it would be to be with a meister that did more than cut through his enemies with brute strength, wondered how it felt to be in the hands of another. In the back of her mind, those capable hands always looked large, but gentle. Rough, but kind. Destructive, but soft. Kid picked up BlackStar's custom electric blue controller, pulling it onto his lap and skipping to the character selection menu. Her eyes followed the movement and she cleared her throat.

"Still," she continued. "I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

Kid didn't answer her right away, picking through the choices on the screen. "I hope he does, for his team's sake. He has good taste at least."

They fell into a silence too dense to be called comfortable, too aware of each other while they occupied themselves. But it was a moment like this when Tsubaki's heart wandered the most. She stole glances through the corners of her eyes as she picked up a few toys scattered across the room, and he kept his head too firmly planted towards the screen in fascination while he tapped on the up and down buttons, back and forth.

And just as he parted his lips, Black*Star and Angela waddled back into the room with two plates of reheated spaghetti and two bowls of apple slices. Angela promptly gushed about her bunny slices and Black*Star shoved Kid to the side, reclaimed his controller and breaking the spell between the other two.

It was for the best really.

Her brother once told her, there were many people who came and gone in life. They may stay, or they would leave once their time was over. And then there were those who absolutely crushed you with their mere presence. Try as you may, you could never move on– especially since there was never a beginning anyway.

It would be more difficult if love still found a way to occupy space, even if time was absent. But what they loved about each other was never enough to leave who they were with. And that was what they were: doomed to always love another.

"Sometimes the best and worst times of your life can coincide. It is a talent of the soul to discover the joy in pain— thinking of moments you long for, and knowing you'll never have them again. The beautiful ghosts of our past haunt us, and yet we still can't decide if the pain they caused us out weighs the tender moments when they touched our soul. This is the irony of love."

― Shannon L. Alder