Superman left the accident scene when it was obvious that with all his abilities, he was powerless. He tried not to remember the smell of rancid sweat, alcohol, and the copper tang of blood that was a terrible reminder of human fraility. He flew a quick circuit around the world to clear his lungs and to gain some emotional distance from the tragedy.
When he had gone full circle, he was filled with a need to assure himself that both Lois and Jason were safe. He focused his vision on the house as he hovered above the neighborhood. Jason eyes moved beneath his closed lids in REM sleep. Superman wondered what he dreamed about. He knew that Jason still had occasional nightmares.
Jason had gone through a lot for a boy so young. While he should have been dreaming of cartoon mice and perhaps the shadow under the bed, instead he was filled with memories of being held captive by a maniacal mad man and a near drowning out to sea. He would have to use this time with Jason to see if he could help. At least he could allow Lois time for some uninterrupted sleep.
Superman turned his attention toward her room and stopped short when he discovered that she was not there. A fast scan confirmed that she was no longer in the house. He broadened his sweep to include the streets of the neighborhood.
It wasn't long before he detected her hiding behind some bushes. He smiled wryly to himself. Leave it to Lois to not even allow one night to settle in before leaping in pursuit of an investigation.
Still raw from the events of the night and unable to banish the sense of humanities' vulnerability to harm, he was unwilling to trust in fate. Superman hovered indecisively in the air. He debated briefly about changing into his Clark clothes, but decided it was more prudent to remain garbed as Superman. If Lois was truly up to her usual exploits, at least he would be able to use his powers openly if or more likely when the need arose.
He descended silently behind Lois, bending the grass gently as his feet touched the ground. He could hear the men inside the clubhouse complaining about how late it was and how the boss couldn't wait until morning for his stuff. Superman couldn't see inside the crates, but he noticed that the men were not armed.
The truck left, and Lois relaxed. She got up quickly and almost ran headlong into his chest. He took a step back so that she wouldn't get injured. Lois made a small startled sound and lashed out at him. Superman tried to gently deflect her fist, holding it in his hand for a moment. He realized that she couldn't see him clearly. Her heart was racing wildly. For Lois there was all fight and no flight in times of peril.
"Lois?"
She exhaled heavily. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same of you. You're a long way from the Daily Planet."
She looked so small standing there, her fists still tightly clenched, and yet he knew how formidable she could be. He hadn't meant to come here dressed as Superman. He had tried to stay away and minimize his contact with her while in the cape so that she could try to live a normal life. Knowing that he was the father of her child made things complicated. He hadn't wanted to come between her and Richard, so he had watched from afar, visiting Jason only when he was certain not to disturb Lois.
After the talk in the kitchen, he knew that she no longer had a fiancée, but her attitude toward Superman if anything had become more forbidding. In light of her relationship problems, he wondered why she had seemed so distant. Did she blame Superman for being unable to move on? His reporter's instincts flared up for a moment, wondering why Lois never really loved Richard. Did her heart belong to someone else?
"I have a life, you know. I'm here with Clark."
With Clark Those words gave him an unreasonable hope that she was trying to impart some crucial bit of information.
Her voice was soft as she added. "On assignment."
Of course. He felt the sudden warmth in his being freeze at the clarification. As they talked he continued to watch her, taking in her presence. It used to be easier to be with Lois as Superman. She gazed at his mouth as if she was thinking about kissing him, and then she abruptly stepped away. He suddenly wished that he wasn't Superman, that he was just Clark. She might not have any desire for him as her partner, but at least he wouldn't experience the tearing sensation of her openly rejecting him.
A hard glint came into her eyes; there was no mistaking her anger. "I'd better get back to Clark and Jason."
Someday she was bound to learn the truth of his identity, and on that day he would lose her forever. He hardly knew what they were saying as his heart thudded in his chest. He wouldn't have thought it would ever end up like this. In one way he felt like he had gained something. Lois was finally feeling closer to him as Clark Kent. But he knew that without the truth, there would always be a chasm between them. If the way she acted around him as Superman was any indication, once she learned the whole of it, she would despise them both. She had said, 'I'm supposed to be a reporter, to uncover facts, and somehow I just couldn't see the truth that was right before my eyes.'
There was no way out.
He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I better be off. I'll let you know if I find out where they were going. Be careful, Lois."
He shot into the sky.
"Good night." Her voice beckoned to him from the shadows.
He flew aimlessly . . . blindly . . . until he heard Jason crying. Before Jason could draw another breath, he was there. He spun into a white t-shirt and dark cotton pants. Jason's breath hitched, and he opened the door. Lois hadn't returned yet.
"Mommy?" Jason asked tentatively. The boy was sitting up in bed his breath coming in short gasps. He looked directly at him in the dark.
"It's me." Clark sat on the edge of his bed.
Jason reached for him and his breathing began to sound less labored. The simple act of this young boy taking his hand nearly brought Clark to tears.
"They were here." Jason said finally.
Clark felt a momentary alarm shoot through him. He used all his senses to find a hint of danger. When there was nothing, he realized that the boy was talking about his nightmares.
He pushed his glasses back up his nose and asked, "What did you dream about Jason?"
"If I say it, they might hear." He put his hand over his ears as if by blocking his own ears, he could prevent the villains in his nightmares from hearing as well. Clark pulled the boy into his lap hugging him. He kissed the top of his head, breathing in the clean sweet smell of his hair.
"I used to dream of monsters. But I learned that they can only hear you if you let them." Clark said, rocking him gently as if the boy were a few years younger. Jason relaxed, lowering his hands from his ears and turned to bury his face in Clark's chest.
"But they can see through walls with those awful fire green eyes."
Clark thought of the green glowing glow of Kryptonite and shuddered in sympathy. He remembered the nightmares he had as a boy. His mother had never tried to tell him that there were just dreams. He thought that if he did that now, Jason would stop sharing his fears with him.
"Superman can see through walls. Are you afraid of him too?" Clark dreaded the boy's answer, but he had to ask.
Jason lifted his face, and looked at Clark like he had just said something really idiotic. "Mr. Clark . . . I mean Daddy. Superman is one of the good guys." His tone was very didactic.
Clark chuckled. "Right. Sometimes I forget that. Well, neither of us are going to let anyone hurt you. You know that don't you?"
Jason looked at him with wide eyes and then nodded so quickly that his hair flopped in his eyes. Clark brushed it back with his hand.
"Will you read me a story?"
Clark glanced around the room searching for a book, and gasped when he saw Lois watching them from the doorway. He was unused to be taken off guard. He had been so focused on his son, that he hadn't heard her return.
"Lo...Lois." he stuttered. "Jason couldn't sleep, and I was just . . ."
"Daddy was going to read me a story, mommy. You can read with us too."
Clark shifted Jason out of his lap.
Lois put out her hand as if to stop him. "Don't go, Clark."
She grabbed the book off the shelf in the closet and flicked on the tableside lamp. She sat on the bed next to Jason and patted the area next to her. The message was clear. Jason enthusiastically pulled back the covers for both of them. Lois blushed just a bit and then grinned a huge mischievous smile that won him over.
"Come on. Join us." she urged.
Clark tentatively sat beside them, feeling Lois' body pressed all along his right side. Jason climbed into Lois' lap so that he was beside Clark as well. "Don't worry. You're gonna' like this book." He showed him the cover. "See. No monsters."
Clark attempted to relax, trying to figure out what he should do next. Lois bumped him deliberately with her elbow, and said, "Yeah, Clark. You're not scared are you?"
Terrified. Instead, he cleared his throat and actually tried not to sound as wound up as a truly was. "Golly Lois, Whatever is there to be afraid of?"
When his voice cracked on the last word, Lois rolled her eyes and then smiled at him gently. "Here. Why don't you read first?"
He cleared his throat. "One evening, after thinking about it for awhile, Harold decided to go for a walk in the moonlight." He shot Lois a quick look and she lowered her head almost guiltily. He continued to read Harold and the Purple Crayon.
He read long after Jason had nodded off to sleep. Lois had noticed too, but seemed just as enthralled with the story. Somehow, Lois' head had slumped back against his arm, using it as a pillow. He shifted slightly so that she could lay more cradled against him. When he closed the book, he was reluctant to move.
Lois yawned. She shifted the boy so that he lay on the pillow beside them. Then she looked up into his eyes, still lying against his chest. He could feel the warmth of her body against him, smell the fresh scent of her in his lungs. It was a heady sensation. If he were smart he would do something like fall out of bed to remind her that he was just Clark. But he couldn't move; he was enraptured by her.
Lois didn't blink as she met his gaze and her heart beat increased tempo. Her eyelids grew heavy and her breathing quickened. He was powerless. Clark knew that he should be alarmed at how closely she was examining him, but there was something decidedly sexual about her inspection. It made it impossible to think. He swallowed with some difficulty, feeling heat suffuse his entire being. He didn't know who he was: Clark Kent or Superman. He just was.
He lowered his head so that their mouths hovered close enough to feel the warmth radiating between them. "Lois?" He asked, his voice a deeper octave.
Lois licked her lips and said, "hmmmm?"
Clark gently cupped her face with one large hand. Lois leaned into it, closing her eyes. Clark's breath hitched, as a feeling of wonder stole over him. This couldn't be happening could it? Was he really going to kiss her as Clark Kent?
"Mommy? I'm thirsty."
They both shuddered in surprise. Lois' eyes flew open and Clark stumbled back saying "I'll just go and uh . . . I'll be right back."
He sped out of there. He didn't know how to feel. Clark was nervous and energized at the same time. But mostly he was disappointed that the spell had been broken. What would have happened if Jason hadn't chosen that moment to wake up? He poured Jason a glass of water, trying to tell himself to slow down. He attempted to walk at a normal speed, still feeling his heart beat triple time in his chest.
"That was . . . wow Clark. That was fast."
"Was it? I didn't notice." He said absurdly, silently cursing himself. Lois appeared unaffected by what had almost happened, but he could hear her heart beating in time with his own.
She took the glass and turned to the boy. "Here you go sweety."
Jason drank quickly and then settled back into bed. She kissed Jason's forehead, and turned off the lights. "Good night."
Once they were both outside in the darkened hallway, Lois turned to Clark. "Thank you, Clark."
Her eyes seemed to be searching his face, but he didn't know what she was looking for. "He's a wonderful boy, Lois."
"The best." She agreed with a smile.
They stood looking at each other the tension rising again between them. Lois cleared her throat and said, "Well, it's late. I'm going to go back to bed."
"You must have been pretty deeply asleep." He said, wondering if she could hear the teasing note in his voice.
Lois glanced down at herself, taking in the fact that she was wearing an unzipped jacket. Lois snorted as she raised her head. "Damn. Sleepwalking again." She deadpanned.
Clark laughed. "Right. You'll have to tell me about your . . . dreams in the morning."
She chuckled. "See you in the morning then. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Sweet dreams." He said and heard her chuckle under her breath as she disappeared into her room.
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