Thanks again for 4ever1 for her beta, and to Lauren Warren, TnTornado, stillthetooth, Natalie, Pyrate Viking, ChristieLoisGilmore17, beauty0102, JadedofMara, Jedi X-Men Serena Kenobi, Elliana, Jacqueline Roget, Reena Lin, Ivy D. L., kloklo, MoonSerenade, sportschick359, bluecatdevil, Superpup92.0, Anonygirl, Vgerland, htbthomas (read her wonderful article on writing movieverse Clark/ Lois on her live journal. Good stuff ), DPReporter111, Ida, JJ the Elusive, Jump Highly, Elliana, sayrae3times, HadrianAsbury, Kara-El, Nautica7mk, Skyheart92, Wild Irish Rose31, cirana, True Reader, AniJap, Trekkie6, Iarejedi, CindyB, Mak5258, Lucienne Grace, dyselcksek, bobo1013, Chuthulupenguin , Shahloobah, and to anyone I've forgotten for all the encouragement and reviews. (Whew!)
This is for all of you!!
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Clark's mind was still on the terrorist bombing he had just averted, so it came as a welcome relief when he was greeted by a scene of domestic tranquility. Lois was actually baking. Jason grinned at him with chocolate smeared on his upper lip.
"The chocolate ones are better than the white ones. You want one?" It was then that he noticed the indistinguishable brown lump waiting for him on a small plate.
He struggled not to laugh, but it was difficult. Being here like this with his family was like truly coming home. Maybe Lois couldn't smell that whatever she had been cooking was hopelessly burned.
Lois warned. "Don't say a word."
Or, maybe she could. Lois certainly was not the cook that his mother was, and he wouldn't change her if he could. Clark's lips twitched in amusement.
Jason piped in. "I told mom that they were already cooked when we bought them at the store."
When Lois wasn't looking, he winked at Jason. The boy stifled a giggle.
Her face was smudged, and her hair unbrushed, like she had not just been baking, but battling the cup cakes into submission. She looked so beautiful. Lois noticed the bits of chocolate on her oven mitts, and then smiled in defeat. "You see what this place has done to me? I thought if I warmed them in the oven they would seem . . . I don't know . . . more home made."
"Usually you frost them after they've cooled." Clark added helpfully.
He felt his heart go out to her.
"Usually" he added wincing to himself.
It was terribly difficult for Lois to acknowledge any weakness. She was by far the strongest person he knew, his mother coming in a close second. Sometimes he believed that Lois was the invulnerable one. It reminded him of what a mistake he'd committed by removing her memory. He often debated if that were the real meaning of his father's warning. He was forbidden to alter the course of human history. Taking away someone's free will, in retrospect, seemed a greater evil than using the powers at his disposal to save a life.
Would Lois have adjusted given a few weeks more to the unusual nature of their relationship? He had certainly not removed the burden from her by his action. He should have considered the possibility of a pregnancy, but so much had happened so quickly. Would their life have been something like this if he had let their relationship run its natural course?
Sometimes, he had to fight the temptation to once again turn back time, but the knowledge that his motivation was selfish stopped him. Too many years had passed. He couldn't do something that would jeopardize Jason's very existence. No. Both Lois and Jason were alive and healthy. He should be content.
Lois dropped the mitts in despair. "I don't know what Perry was thinking when he sent us here." Her eyes flashed as she mimicked the neighbor. "Why don't you bring dessert? We would all love something home cooked."
This, he could fix. It was a small thing to do, but he wasn't going to fall back into defensive mode when Lois really needed him. He silently vowed that he would try his best to make things right for both Lois and Jason without letting his feelings and his desires determine his actions. He would never again make a decision in haste. Who knew what else he could lose?
Clark went over to the pantry and began gathering the ingredients he had purchased at the store. Lois was watching him, oddly silent. He started the pre-heat on the oven, and then asked Jason. "How good are you at stirring?"
Jason shrugged slightly, looking questioningly at his mother.
Lois replied. "I'm a passionate believer in take out."
Clark had helped his mother bake cookies numerous times growing up. When she had insisted on making them on his return he noticed her fingers had become arthritic with age, though she gave him that knowing look and said to him, "I don't mind, Clark. I hardly even notice anymore. I'm just glad to have my boy back again."
His leaving had hurt her too.
He pulled his thoughts away from his regrets determined to enjoy this time with Lois and Jason. A moment like this might never come again.
Lois asked. "Don't you need a measuring cup or something?" She sounded so incredulous that he couldn't help but grin.
Clark shook his head and noticed that Jason was beginning to struggle with the mix. The boy glanced up at him, biting his lip with effort, eyes shining. This was the reason this world was worth saving. Clark took the spoon gently from the boy. He almost laughed out loud when Jason quickly added more chocolate chips to the mix. It would be too much, but he didn't care.
Lois snorted and he gave her a questioning look.
She waved her hand as if she were bestowing a boon on the both of them. "Carry on."
Lois had lost the pinched look to her face, and Clark could see that she was happy. He had gone across the galaxy and couldn't find what he was looking for. Who knew it was right here in this small kitchen? He felt complete. "Do you want to help put the cookies on the pan, Lois?"
He could see the denial forming on her lips, so he teased, "You aren't scared are you?"
"Is that a challenge, Kent?" She met his gaze with steely determination.
Clark pretended to warily hand her the spoon and Jason giggled under his breath. "It's easy mom. You can do it."
"Thanks kiddo." When she placed an over large portion onto the pan, he went over to her to illustrate. If these cookies burned, they would have to go to the store again. He didn't buy enough for another batch.
"Like this." He said, and came up to her to take the spoon, and put a much smaller portion of the dough onto the waiting pan.
The minute he put his arm around her to reach the pan, he realized how close he had gotten. Clark closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. He knew he was too close, but he couldn't move away just yet. Just one more second and then he would jump away and apologize.
Then, he felt her lean back so that she was against him. His eyes flew open. What was she doing? She glanced at him, and he felt the world contract. He became aware of her in every cell of his being. Clark felt more heat steep through him than when he dove into a volcano in the Pacific last week.
There was just the two of them. He could hear the pounding of her heart, and he wondered when he would regain the strength to breath. She moistened her lips with her tongue, a small unconscious gesture that drew his attention to her mouth. He couldn't move. His felt frozen in place. He wondered what would happen if he gave in to his desire to kiss her. Surely, he was having another fantasy where Lois wanted him to do so. He really didn't know what was in Lois' heart. He had tried to give her what she wanted once before and had failed miserably. He wasn't about to ruin things between them as Clark too.
He stumbled back, trying to regain his equilibrium. He tried to talk and couldn't. Clark cleared his throat to try again, adjusting his glasses. "I think that should take care of it then."
Lois swayed and Clark wondered if he had done it again. Had he wiped her memory again, this time without even trying? She had that strangely confused expression on her face.
"Lois?" Clark asked, concerned.
Her face cleared and he exhaled slowly in relief. "Must be the oven. It's really hot in here." Lois seemed to remember that Jason was still there. He was eating some of the uncooked dough. "Jason. That has uncooked eggs in it. You could get sick."
He gulped inaudibly and then insisted. "I won't."
He couldn't smell the taint of salmonella in the eggs, but Jason wouldn't always have him there to check. "Listen to your mother." Clark admonished.
"Smart man." Lois said so low that he didn't think he was supposed to have heard.
Clark tried not to look at her, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"Sorry, mommy."
"Let me know when the cookies are done. I need to get some things straightened out."
He was still too befuddled by his own emotions, to know what she was talking about.
She must have seen his confusion because she clarified. "I don't think I should go to the barbeque wearing frosting."
He lowered his glasses and watched through the walls as she dashed up the stairs.
"Don't you think they need to go into the oven now?" Jason's words brought his attention back to the kitchen.
For one long second, he had no idea what Jason was talking about. Then he remembered the cookies, the boy, and the barbeque.
"Right." He said affectionately and placed the tray on the rack.
"How long are we going to stay here together?" Jason asked.
Clark sat down at the table across from Jason. "Are you feeling homesick, Jason?"
He shook his head so quickly that his hair flopped around in his eyes, his face was expressionless, his mouth slack as he gazed at Clark for a minute.
Finally, Clark said, "I don't know, at least a few more days, I would guess."
"Good." Jason smiled. "I like having you for my daddy."
Sorrow filled him. He should just enjoy this time with Jason, but he couldn't help but think of the future. It would be near to impossible to stay away from his son after this.
"Did I say something wrong?" Jason got up from his seat and came around to stand beside Clark.
With a completely unselfconscious gesture he scrambled into Clark's lap and hugged him. Clark closed his eyes and rested his chin on Jason's head. He expected the boy to pull away, but he seemed content to stay there. Clark wasn't about to put him down so they stayed that way until Jason lifted his head and sniffed. At first Clark thought that the boy was about to cry, and then he said, "I think the cookies are done."
Clark stood up quickly, lowering the boy to the floor. He dashed to the oven and saw that they were browning too quickly. He glanced at Jason and saw that he wasn't looking. He was to busy sneaking a finger into the cookie dough. Clark blew a quick blast of cool air, and pulled the cookies out of the oven. They were perfect.
"Don't you need the oven mitts?" Jason said. Clark glanced at the pan in his bare hand, and dropped it quickly on the top of the stove. He quickly ran to the sink and ran cold water on his 'injured' hand, watching Jason's reaction out of the periphery of his vision. Careless. The boy came over to the side of the sink and said, "It looks alright. Do you need a Band-Aid? I have Superman ones in my school bag. Mom doesn't like it when I wear them."
"I think I got it under the water soon enough." He held up his hand for Jason's inspection, remembering another time years ago in a hotel room in Niagara Falls. The boy seemed satisfied and said, "I didn't know that water worked so well."
"I was lucky. Jason, please don't tell your mother about this. I don't want to worry her." Jason rolled his eyes. "Do you think I tell mom everything?"
Clark wanted to ask him what he meant, but Jason ran out of there before he could stop him.
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Lois locked her bedroom door and sat on the bed while she reeled from the implications of her discovery. She had a thing for Clark Kent. She didn't want to define it any more than that. It was strange. Once she gave herself the freedom to think about him as a romantic interest, she felt as if a huge burden had been released. It was almost as if her subconscious had been aware of his importance to her while she consciously relegated him to almost brotherly status. The warmth suffusing her body right now had nothing akin to the feelings one had for a sibling.
She put her hands on her cheeks as if by doing so she could cause the blush to recede. Lois realized that she was reacting so badly because, quite frankly, she was shocked at this revelation. She didn't think she could discover anything that would surprise her more than her sudden resolve to pursue Clark.
Her mouth stretched into a huge grin and she realized that she was happy. Her life had become suddenly so simple. Why had she never seen it before? She didn't need Richard with his friendship with benefits, and she didn't need Superman with his insoluble remoteness. She just needed the humble man who saved the world with words alone and made her heart pound with a single look. She just needed Clark Kent.
Lois began sorting through her suitcase wishing she had packed some of her nicer clothes. Clark had always seemed oddly uncomfortable and at the same time almost eager to spend time with her. Lois speculated that Clark had been harboring some feelings for her for awhile. It was time for her to find out. He was good for her in so many ways. He was good for Jason too. She really couldn't see any reason for them not to be together unless Clark had other ideas. There were still a couple matters to investigate like the flowers on his desk and his reoccurring disappearing acts.
It was time to utilize her Pulitzer winning ability to good use. It was time to get to work.
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