This chapter got a bit delayed. I wrote a one-shot for the 12 days of Clois called Only a Hair Off. (It's posted here, if you're interested. It's a Superman Returns story that takes place very early in their relationship.) Anyway, I still managed to get this out relatively quickly due to the wonderful beta 4ever1 and to the support of Mistressbabette51.
This is dedicated to all the people that have stuck with me through this entire story, and for all the wonderful reviews. I know I wouldn't have kept the story going this long, if I thought no one else was reading this. I hope that you continue to enjoy this.
Rhea
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They leaned against the headboard as they sat facing each other in silence. The sun had risen some time during his account of those forgotten days. Clark tried to recall everything, wanting her to understand what had happened between them starting from their trip to Niagara Falls and ending with the farewell kiss at the Daily Planet.
Clark watched Lois' face as she listened with only a few interruptions. His glasses were on the end table, her suitcase lay unopened in the corner of the room. She was struggling to remember, and he could see that her inability to do so was a source of frustration. She gnawed her thumb nail in that way he found so fascinating. It was a habit that he recognized from when she was hard at work on a story.
Clark wished that the memories of their time together were as clear for Lois as they were for him. She said that she could feel the truth of what he said, but still couldn't really recall the events surrounding Zod's attempt to dominate the world.
He desired complete honesty between them, even if that meant that it would result in losing Lois. If she remembered it all, she would understand why things had failed before.
This last week, when things were intense with Lois he could feel the weight of his father's words. He wasn't one of them. A part of him wanted to rebel. Wasn't he sent here so that he would live? What kind of life would he lead if love was not permitted to be a factor? He knew that things were different. He was different.
"When you kissed me, you somehow willed me to forget?" Lois asked.
"It won't ever happen again." Clark stuttered, "I . . I would never repeat that mistake."
Lois waved his concern away. "I'm just trying to work this out. So if you willed the memories away, could you will them back again?"
He had never thought to try it. "I don't know. They might be gone, but I guess they could just be . . . misplaced."
Clark searched her face for any sign of doubt. Lois gazed unwaveringly at him. Her hazel eyes were wide, her lips parted and slightly swollen from kissing him. He had always prided himself on his iron control. Looking at her now made him aware of his limitations, but he had to try.
Lois' trust in him effected him deeply. If there was any way that he could make up for some of the wrongs he had committed, he would. Clark sought a trace of their connection, something intangible that was buried within them. If he had taken her memories with a kiss, maybe he could return them the same way?
He cupped her chin, leaned forward, and placed his mouth against hers. She felt deliciously soft and warm, smelled so sweetly familiar. Lois put her hands on his shoulders as if she were suddenly off balance. He closed his eyes searching for that intangible connection that had allowed him to affect her mind.
Clark began to kiss her almost absently enjoying the sensation. He was trying to maintain control, attempting to remain focused on the connection between them. There. He felt it now shimmering between them. Clark tried to remember everything that had happened to them, everything that Lois had forgotten.
He attempted to go to the beginning, but his body thrummed with desire for her. They generated an almost tangible energy together making his desire for her impossible to resist. So instead of proceeding as he had planned, Clark's mind returned to that night of passion they had shared.
Maybe it was because he was kissing her again. It was hard to focus on anything else when Lois was in his arms. Unbidden, his memories of that time in the Fortress became more real. It wasn't like a hazy memory. Instead, the actual sensation of being one with her spread along his nervous system. He shuddered in shock at the vividness of the recall, unwilling and unable to resist plunging into the past. He pulled her against him. Lois gasped, and he knew that she could feel it too.
He had managed to access the bond and he had tapped into the most powerful memory that they had shared. The pleasure rippled through both of them. They broke apart, unable to kiss, unable to do anything but feel. They were breathing heavily, their foreheads pressed together with their eyes closed in this shared experience.
It had been incredible; it still was amazing.
He feared that Lois would view this as a violation. He feared her denial. As as he had this thought, he could feel her straining towards him. She was willing him to continue. She wanted this, and so did he. If they couldn't be together in the present, he could not deny her their memories. Clark was overwhelmed at how sharp and sweet their love making had been. He could feel how they had moved together so perfectly. The way they had strove toward that blinding, indescribable pleasure, and had achieved so much more than he'd ever dreamed possible. They had forged an unbreakable bond as they had created their son that night.
She had called out his name in the end, and she whispered it now as they both recalled it.
The memory faded, but his body was on fire. Clark's mouth moved over hers. She gasped, but he kept kissing her, brushing his lips down across her jawline and across her ear. He needed her; he didn't know if he would ever have enough. She shuddered, seemingly in a daze.
Clark willed himself to remain focused. He was trying to recover her memories, not to seduce her.
He forced his mind to move beyond the Fortress. He could see that man at the diner. It was the bully that had demanded his stool. When he recalled being punched; Lois cried out. Clark winced pulling back from Lois trying to ease the connection apart. She clutched at him. The last thing he had intended was to cause her pain. Involuntarily, he remembered the shock of seeing his own blood, and the pain from something that would normally had gone unfelt. The memories continued to flash through him rapidly halting on that last kiss. Lois was crying now, a reflection of how she had wept that day at the Daily Planet.
They couldn't speak. Finally, the connection, the almost telepathic link, faded away.
It had worked, but at what cost?
The sound of their breathing and the beating of their hearts filled the void created by their silence. The memory of their lovemaking should have provided some sort of cathartic release, instead he just felt empty and wanting. Relieving the events of those few days had been beautiful and heartbreaking. He hadn't thought that he was crying, but when Lois put her hand up to his cheek, he saw it come away damp from his tears.
Finally, she broke the silence. "I said that I was jealous of the whole world."
Clark closed his eyes, unable to bear the memory any longer. It too fresh and the pain felt like it was happening anew. This was when Lois would choose to leave him. He couldn't bear for it all to happen a second time.
Lois said so softly that he might not have perceived it if it wasn't for his enhanced hearing, "I might have to share Superman with the whole world, but what about Clark Kent?"
A sense of wonder stole over him. His eyes flew open as he digested her words.
"But we will never be together as a normal couple. Could you be truly happy with that?" He warned.
"Normal is way overrated." Despite her flippant tone, he could see that her eyes were over-bright. She was struggling not to cry. There was an open, almost pleading expression on her face that made Clark want to do anything he could for her. Lois could have told him that they needed to live on the moon to escape the rest of the world and he'd try to find a way to make it work.
He didn't want to, but he felt compelled to say, "It might be best if you found someone else. Someone . . . more human to love."
Lois clutched at his hands as if she was afraid that he would bolt away. "I don't want anyone else." Her voice broke. "Richard was a good man, but I wasn't really happy with him. You make me happy."
Clark felt the joy of her words through his entire being, but he tried to keep it from showing. He needed to be certain that they wouldn't be repeating the same mistakes. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it chastely. She caught her breath. Clark lowered her hand so that he could peer intently into Lois' eyes. "It won't be easy. There will be days when you won't know where I am or when I'll return."
"As long as you come back to me." She said, "Besides, I could say the same thing. I have a tendency to get tied up in my work. Are you sure you're up to the task? It would take a pretty super guy to be willing to keep up with me."
He couldn't contain it now; his happiness knew no bounds. Clark grinned broadly.
"It probably would be for the greater good." he agreed. "You do have a tendency to gravitate toward danger."
Lois relaxed, the lines in her face disappearing as she searched his face. "It certainly would be efficient if we were together. It would save you a whole lot of effort." she teased. "I probably have more enemies that Superman. I don't know Clark, it might be too dangerous for you to be associated with me." Lois' lips twitched in amusement.
"I'm willing to take that risk." Clark said.
She threw her arms around his neck with a happy sound, and gave him a quick kiss. She pulled back almost as quickly and said, "What next?"
"First we have to talk with our son." Clark said.
Our son. It had a nice sound to it. Were they really going to do this? Were they really going to live as a family?
"Why don't we take it slow. He's going to have a hard enough time adjusting to Richard's departure. We also have to figure out where we're going to live."
Clark felt his heart rate accelerate. He knew what he wanted. He wished that Lois would marry him and that they would look for a place that was big enough for all of them.
"Well, there was that house at Iron Gates?" Clark said, dryly. He knew that Lois would never want to live there, but he couldn't resist teasing her.
"And live in Stepford country? I still can't get over the fact that an entire community of people were being blackmailing by Victor. He found something on every one of them when he ease-dropped on them. Adultery, embezzlement, even murder. Does everyone have secrets? Victor admitted that he planned on eliminating us because the secrets that we had weren't enough to have power over us. So what if we weren't really married and that we were reporters for the Daily Planet? I still can't believe that those people at Iron Gates were so desperate to keep their secrets that they were willing to commit crimes to keep their dirty laundry under wraps."
He thought of his own secrets. Clark had more than his fair share of things he would never want to become public. "You'd be surprised at what people say and do, and what they are ashamed of." Clark said, softly.
"I guess we're lucky that they didn't find out that you're Superman."
He ran his fingers through his hair and leaned back closing his eyes. "I almost told you everything while they were listening."
Lois watched him. She remembered that time at the base of the stairs. "What is this about?" she had asked. His eyes had been so intent on her, his body tense as if bracing for an impact as he had answered her with one word. "Superman"
"I know." And with that, she realized that she didn't harbor any bad feelings for his deception. Lois understood how important secrecy was to Clark's way of life. How hiding his identity was an ingrained habit and necessary for protecting those he loved.
They gazed out the window, watching the light grow brighter. It was late morning. Clark stiffened as he heard someone cry for help.
"You have to go?" Lois asked.
Then he heard the police arrive; the situation was under control.
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Lois watched the emotions flash across his face. Concern. Determination. Relief. Peace. "No. The police are taking care of it."
It was times like this that she really felt that he was operating on an entirely different level of awareness. "What is it like, to hear so many things, to have so many abilities?"
"Sometimes it's like the whole world is crying out at once, but usually it's quiet when I'm with you."
Lois knew Clark was saying that being with her kept the outside world at bay. She was glad that she could provide him with a sense of peace, a much needed release. They searched each other's eyes, holding hands in the stillness of the morning.
She picked up his glasses, playing with them and then put them on her nose. Clark's face became distorted as she looked through the lenses. "These are prescription lenses!" Lois exclaimed.
"Someone might notice if they were plain glass. Besides, it's a better disguise."
She could see the sense in his words. Clear glass wouldn't distort in the same way. No wonder he looked so different while he was wearing these. "But how do you see . . . oh. Is that another super power?" Lois asked.
"I have no problem seeing with them on. Although, they do seem to throw my balance off slightly."
"Is that why you don't trip when you're Superman, but you can hardly stay on your feet as Clark Kent?"
"When I'm Clark, I have to divert my attention. I have to keep an ear out for the times when Superman is needed as well as maintain a conversation about global warming or whatever. When I'm Superman, I don't have to split my attention. I don't have to make excuses or worry about displaying my powers."
"It must be draining." Lois commented.
"It's not so bad."
"It must be hard, keeping your power in check, worrying about revealing your secret. It must be an effort to even see clearly with those glasses on. Is that why you lower your glasses when you are looking through things?"
"You noticed that?" Clark's eyebrows rose in surprise.
"I always wondered if you were far sighted, but I know now that you were looking past them for other reasons."
"I don't really need to lower them to use my deep vision. It's more a habit I developed after a time when I forgot that I was wearing them and used my heat vision right through them."
An image of glasses with molten centers flashed in her mind. Lois' mouth opened into an O and then she covered it with her hand, and laughed. "What happened?"
"They melted." He said with an answering smile.
"Did anyone notice?"
"I quickly switched into my spare pair, but I didn't think to try and eliminate the smell until you said that you thought my laptop was over heating."
"That's what really happened?!" She gave him a mock glare. "Did you know that it took me hours to go through Perry's requisitions? I never was able to find proof that he had replaced your laptop. I wanted to use it as justification for the Planet to upgrade my computer too. What were you using your heat vision on anyway?"
"I know how much you dislike cold coffee, and I guess I did it without really thinking."
Lois giggled. She snuggled against him, pressing her face into the side of his neck. "It's a good thing that I know now. No more late nights drinking that tepid brew."
He put his arm around her, securing her against him. She felt his chest rumble in amusement. "That was the reason I was going to tell you eventually." he agreed. "Jimmy's coffee could kill a horse."
"Or wake the dead." The both said in unison, and chuckled as they both realized that they were repeating something that Perry had said last week.
She settled against him again. Her breathing was deep and even. Clark tightened his arm around her, when he felt her body slacken. Lois' forehead fell against his neck. He buried his face in her hair, savoring the scent of her. He could hear the thrum of her heart beating in tandem with his own. Clark was content, happy in a way that he thought would forever allude him. He knew that if she wasn't already, she would be asleep in minutes. He kept still and his breathing even with hers.
There was so much that they needed to discuss. But in light of everything they had gone through to get the to this place in their lives, words could wait.
They were together. They were both safe and aside from some injuries that would heal in time, they had survived intact. He kissed the top of her head his heart feeling like it had grow twice its normal size. He wondered if he should buy her an engagement ring and thought that maybe he should consider asking her out on a date first.
He fell asleep still holding Lois against him, settling into dreams of a bright future together.
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It was odd, being back at her desk as if her entire world had remained unchanged. Lois stared blindly at her notes, struggling to find a way to put the final wrap on her series of articles. She was finding it difficult because her thoughts continually drifted to the man seated across the room from her. She glanced at Clark through her eyelashes, trying not to watch him without alerting him to her attention. He was faring better. Clark had written his portion before lunch, seriously testing the limits of his computer. Sometimes, she really hated that he had super speed. It just didn't seem fair that he could write faster then her. He should have had the good grace to misspell a few words.
Clark's attention was focused on Lois, and he didn't appear to be aware that she was watching him. He was leaning back, the front feet of his chair off the ground. He looked handsome in his charcoal gray suit and blue tie. The color really did bring out his eyes. Lois thought about warning him against wearing the color while he was Clark Kent, but couldn't. He looked so good that she was willing to take that risk.
Her mind drifted back to their shared memories of their one night together. How could she have forgotten something so incredible? Just thinking about it, made her feel slightly feverish. A tingling sensation spread across her body in a pleasant wave of remembered passion. Her skin flushed and she fought to keep her breathing even. Lois was in trouble. She knew that Clark feared for her safety if they were to give in to their passion, but she thought that she might die anyway if they didn't.
Lois wondered what Clark was thinking about. He had an almost besotted look on his face as he gazed blindly at her. She knew that he wasn't so much as looking at her now, as he was recalling the evening they had spent together. She had to suppress the smile that might have had the power to blind even a super hero. At one time, Lois might have been amused by the open affection visible on Clark's face. But she could not remain indifferent to his sentiments when hers ran along the same lines. She was amazed at all those times in the past that she had failed to notice all of Clark's finer qualities. How had she been so blind? Clark excelled at diverting attention away from himself.
Lois raised her head so that she was gazing more openly at him. She smiled warmly as she saw the slow spread of his grin. How long they stayed like that, she didn't know. But she jumped when she heard a throat being cleared. Clark fell backwards in his chair and Lois chuckled.
"Is that really necessary?" she asked under her breath.
He gave her an embarrassed grin as he rose to his feet, straightening his glasses on his face. She knew then, that he hadn't intended to fall like that. Her grin grew wider as Clark's face reddened under Perry White's regard.
Perry's eyebrows rose and he looked at the two of them as if trying to solve a riddle. "You're still here, Kent?"
"Well, I thought that Lois might need some help."
He nodded as if he had confirmed something and then said, "Send me whatever you've got. I'll get someone else to do the final edits. There's a mob of people in the lobby trying to gain clearance. You better take the back way out, Lois."
Clark straightened up, and his head cocked to the side like he was listening to them downstairs.
"What is this about?" Lois asked in confusion.
Perry got a proud look on his face. "I don't know who they think they are. Don't they realize that the Daily Planet is the finest newspaper in the world? They're the press from competing newspapers. You're big news Lois Lane. So be careful who you talk to. Everyone wants to interview the woman who threw Peter Valentino into prison."
"Don't worry, Perry. I'll tell them that they can read all about it in the Planet."
He laughed. Lois and Clark shared a smile. It was rare to see the Chief relax like this.
He sobered quickly. "Go home you two. Take the rest of the week off, but I expect to see you back here bright and early next Monday."
"Sure thing, boss." Lois said lightly.
"Good work. You make a great team." He walked away with a knowing smile.
Clark's mouth dropped open and Lois shrugged unconcerned.
"What did you expect? He started off as a reporter." She said to him.
She typed a few last words and then emailed them to Perry. She shut down her computer.
"They'll probably be camped out at your apartment, and there is no way that I'm returning to the house while Richard is still in town." Lois said.
Clark asked her, "How does Smallville sound to you?"
She cocked her head to the side. It would be good to see Martha Kent again, and she knew that Jason enjoyed staying at the farm. "I'll meet you on the roof?"
Clark smiled.
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