A/N: I do not own anything relating to Doctor Who. I only own the ideas of my OC. A big thank you to Rhenleore and TheDysfunctional for your reviews. As always: I love feedback. This is a bit of an in between chapter. This gives a bit of a look into Nix's story. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think. :-)
I stood in the middle of the console room, shifting on my feet, not sure quite how to address the Tardis.
"Uhm, Tardis, I'm not really sure how to address you. Do I just call you Tardis?" I muttered with a small chuckle.
~You can call me Tardis or whatever you like.~ I heard a females voice in my head. I jumped slightly and looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice. Finally, it occurred to me that it was the Tardis speaking in my mind. I heard a light giggle when I realized this.
"You can speak with me?" I was in awe, still glancing around the room.
~Yes. Though not many can hear me. The Doctor can, sometimes, other times I only let him know a general idea of what I'm thinking.~ She explained. I thought for a minute about what she meant. Why wouldn't she want to tell him all she knew? There must have been a reason. She seemed so kind, she didn't seem like she would want to do anything harmful. I ran through reasons in my mind before choosing the most likely.
"It would muck things up a bit if he knew your intentions all the time?" I questioned, hoping that I was right..
~That's one way of putting it.~ I heard a chime like giggle.
"You said most people couldn't hear you?" I was confused. If most couldn't, why could I?
~That is true. If it is not to much to ask, I think it would be best to keep this between us girls for now.~ She added. If I could see a face for her, I imagined she would be smiling.
"It would only worry the Doctor wouldn't it?"
~Yes. He is already confused as to why the psychic paper doesn't work properly with you. There will come a time where you can tell him about this though.~
"Will you let me know when that time comes? I'm not sure if I will really know." I admitted.
~Of course dear Phoenix.~ I smiled when she called me that.
"Will I ever find out why I can hear you?" I questioned. She gave a noncommittal hum. I shrugged in surrender. "Ok. You can't tell me specifics. I won't push. Is there any way you could tell me where the garden is? I have a small tree clipping I would like to plant."
~Go up the stairs to your left. Go down the hall. You will see your room and Rose's. The garden will be down the hall on your left.~
"Thank you." I smiled and walked up the stairs and down the hall. Just like she had said, there were two doors on the left of the hall. The first one was a pale pink door. There was a golden nameplate that had 'Rose' etched in it with a flower design on either side of her name. A little ways down there was a dark blue door. There was a silver nameplate with 'Phoenix' etched in it. On either side of my name, there was a crescent moon and star. I smiled and continued walking down the hall. I finally came to a green door with GARDEN etched into the wood. I slid the door open. The view took my breath away. It was larger than any garden I had ever encountered. I couldn't quite see the other side of the room. There were dozens if not hundreds of different plant types around the room, many of which I had never seen before. There were walkways that had beautiful spiral designs in the bricks, and different types of seating scattered around the room. There was a small waterfall and pond at the bottom of it at the end of one of the walkways. The ceiling looked like a greenhouse ceiling showing a bright sunny day. The light warmed my skin. Along the ceiling, above the walkways, there was a metal track. I looked around and saw a couple egg shaped hanging wicker basket seats that were connected to the track. In front of the closest hanging seat was a large plot of fresh soil. On the path next to it sat a spade, fertilizer, and a watering can. I smiled and thanked the Tardis once again. I took a large hair tie off my left wrist and put my hair up before I rolled up my pants started to work on transplanting the small sprig. When I was done I washed my hands in a sink along the wall where the door was. Unfortunately, it also washed off the foundation that was covering the few scars littering the side of my wrist that had been covered by the hair tie. I shrugged it off figuring I could apply the foundation when I went to bed then climbed into the hanging chair.
~Why do you do that?~ She questioned me. I looked down at the tiny scars hidden on the right side of my wrist and shrugged. No one had ever noticed them, so I had never had to really explain them.
"Honestly, I'm not really sure. It's how I deal with things. If I become too overwhelmed, I go to that. It makes everything stop racing for a bit." I tried to explain.
~Please let me know if you think of doing it again. I can warn the Doctor or Rose.~ I smiled sadly at her concern.
"Please don't tell him." I begged. "I really don't want to worry them."
~I won't tell him unless I have to, but he is already worried about you. They both are.~
"You got that from their thoughts?" I knew she could enter our minds but I wasn't sure how extensive her abilities were.
~I didn't have to. I could see it in the way they looked at you when you came inside after Platform One. They were exceptionally worried when you simply sat on the floor.~ I nodded sadly, before deciding to change the subject.
"I hate to ask you this, but could you help me remember to come in here and take care of the tree?" I asked.
~Of course. Do not hesitate to ask me for help with anything dear Phoenix. Why don't you tell me about what happened earlier, or talk about what is bothering you so much. It might help you.~ She suggested. I sighed.
"It feels kind of odd just talking out loud to you, but it might help. I don't know if you know or not, I don't really know if you're able to see my memories or not, but I don't really remember much before Rose's mom Jackie found me. She took me in, fed me, cleaned me up, clothed me, then brought me to the police station. I told them the only things I could remember: my name was Phoenix and my birthday. Other than that, all I could remember was wandering London for a couple weeks before being found. They took my picture and checked for any missing persons reports matching me. They even checked with the FBI in the states. Nothing turned up. They even checked my dental records. They couldn't find any existence of me. Jackie offered to take me in. They agreed to let me go with her since I was 16. They gave me information on how to change my name from Phoenix Doe to Phoenix Tyler but it would take time and cost money. I didn't want Jackie to have to pay that so I just didn't go through with it. From the beginning, I tried to distance myself. I became more of a tenant than family. I got a job to help pay half of the bills. I care about their well being but, I don't know. I just have this empty feeling inside me. It must sound stupid." I shrugged as I heard her give a disapproving hum. There was a knock on the door frame. I spun the chair around to see the Doctor standing there, looking a bit sheepish.
"Hey, I just wanted to check and see how you were doing." He looked like a kid who was about to be chastised.
"I'm. . . fine. . . for the most part." I offered. "How long have you been there?" I wasn't really mad, just curious.
"Ever since you asked her to help you remember to tend to your tree." He looked down. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Rose and I are worried."
"It's fine." I shrugged. "If I really didn't want to be found I would have just locked the door."
"Can I come join you?" He asked. Hope filled his eyes.
"Sure." He walked over to another hanging chair and slid it near mine. I spun back to face the plants. He faced the same way.
"So, you were talking to the Tardis?" He asked, sounding happy.
"Yeah. She's very comforting. It's like when you get sad, she kind of envelops me in a warm mental hug. I probably sound mad." I shrugged.
"Not at all." He reassured me. "You were just born with a low level telepathic field. That's why the psychic paper doesn't work properly with you and it will explain why you'll feel the Tardis's presence a bit more strongly than others. It's alright though. There's nothing wrong with that." He explained. I paused for a moment. He didn't seem mad so I figured it was as good of a time as I was going to get.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I did on platform one. I just had this strong feeling that if you hadn't stayed with Jabe, she would have died." I admitted, not looking at him.
"It's alright, it's just. . . there are some things you need to know about time travel. I should have told you this before but, well, I didn't think it was necessary." He paused. "Time can change. There are certain events that need to happen, other things can be changed. I can see all of this."
"I'm sorry. Did I change something that wasn't supposed to be changed?" I felt horrible.
"No, you didn't. It could have gone either way." He reassured me gently.
"Then why were you so upset with me?" If I didn't change something that was supposed to happen, why had he gotten upset?
"I was upset 'cos in almost every version of you keeping her alive, you ended up getting killed. I didn't want to risk that." He admitted.
"I'm alright though. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I just knew that if I had let you go instead of me, she would have died. I don't really know how to explain it."
"Do you get feelings like this often?" His question caught me off guard. I thought for a minute.
"Not really. It's kind of like an intuition thing. Like when I figured Rose was in danger after we found out what happened to the Steward. There was no way of knowing, but I just felt like it was her. It's one of the things that has been worrying me." I admitted.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just not acting like myself, or to put it more accurately I'm not acting like the me that I've known since I was 16. The usual me would have thought about options, like lodging something in the lever to keep it from popping back up. Now I just rush in head first. And there's this anger without feeling anything anything else. I've always had a temper when it came to people hurting those I care about, that's nothing new. I once broke a guys nose simply for saying hateful things to Jackie while breaking up with her. Now, for example: with Cassandra, it was different. I've never wanted anyone to die before, but with her I just didn't care. It felt like every emotion except for anger just disappeared. The sad thing is, I'm not really that worried about the fact that I'm changing. I'm much more worried that I will do something that will make you or Rose hate me and want me to leave." I admitted, finding it difficult to really explain how I felt.
"That's not going to happen. Don't worry." He tried to reassure me.
"I am a worrier though. When I'm not being sarcastic or temperamental, I'm worrying." I huffed and leaned back in the chair. He chuckled at me. I looked at him and his eyes held a mix of entertainment and sadness. "What is it?"
"Like I said before you remind me of an old friend. Even more so right now." He smiled.
"What do you mean?" I was curious.
"She had an attitude like yours. Very sarcastic and headstrong. Then, there's the way this room is set up." His eyes glanced around the large room.
"What about the room? It was like this when I came in."
"I can manually create rooms in the Tardis or she can create them from a persons thoughts. Yours and Roses bedrooms are designed based around your personalities and what kinds of things you like. She gets a reading from you and creates it. She even changes other rooms based on what you want or need. Last time, it was a little overrun and warn down looking. I haven't been in here in a very long time."
"Because of the friend?" I tried asking carefully, not wanting to cause him any more pain than he was already feeling.
"Yes. She loved it in here. Though, back then, it looked a bit different. The seats were hanging hammocks instead of these chairs, the paths weren't so intricate, and she had dehumidifier book cases around the room." He reminisced with a smile.
"I'm sorry." I apologized.
"Why?"
"It can't be easy remembering someone that you lost. It never is. Or at least I think it isn't. Can't really remember losing anyone." I rambled a bit.
"It's alright."
"I'm sorry, but I have to ask this for my own sanity. Were you and she more than friends?" I didn't want to ask the question. I was terrified that it would hurt him, but I needed to know. It would drive me insane until I knew.
"What? No, she was my very best friend though. Why did you say you had to ask for your sanity?" He thankfully didn't seem really hurt by my question, just surprised.
"I'm sorry but if I reminded you of a lost lover, I would feel a little awkward. I don't want to be some kind of substitute or replacement. I mean you seem like a good guy and all but I want us to be friends because we get along, not because of who I remind you of." I explained nervously, hoping that he would understand what I meant.
"Don't worry. I'm not using you to replace her. I genuinely want you here. You're a surprisingly strong and fascinating woman. Plus, you do keep me in check every now and then despite how annoying it can be." He explained. I laughed. We went silent for a little bit. I almost jumped when he spoke again. "You said earlier that you can't remember much before you were found. I can help you remember if you would like." He offered.
"How?" I questioned, turning to face him.
"I could enter your mind and try to see why you can't remember." I thought for a couple minutes.
"Not just yet." I said quietly.
"Why?" He seemed genuinely curious as to why I wouldn't want to know.
"Before we left Platform One, Jabe tried to search for me just as she had with you. Her device stopped working as soon as she started the analysis. It was then that I realized, I was kind of grateful for not knowing. I was terrified of what she might find. When she told me it stopped working, I was surprisingly relieved. I'm just not ready to know yet." I knew it didn't make sense, but it made sense to me.
"Well, the offer will always stand. Whenever you're ready, I'm here." He offered.
"Thanks."
"You should go talk with Rose if you get the chance. She's really worried about you." He nudged me on.
"Alright. Thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it." I thanked him and stood.
"Any time." He nodded and I walked out of the room. I let my hair down and put the hair tie back on my wrist. I stood in front of Rose's door for a minute before getting up the nerve to knock.
"Rose, it's me, are you still up?" I asked softly, hoping she was awake still. I heard movement and the door opened. She hugged me tightly. I smiled and hugged her back. "What's wrong?" I asked her softly. She took a step back.
"I was just really worried. I was afraid that you were going to leave." She said sadly.
"Can't get rid of me that easily." I joked. She smiled and gestured for me to come into her room. It looked very much like her. The room was filled with a desk, dresser, closet, bed, end table and door to what I guessed was a bathroom. The room was white with shades of pink.
"Isn't it neat?" She beamed.
"So very you." I chuckled.
"What about yours?" She asked.
"I haven't checked it yet. I was in the garden down the hall." I explained.
"Did the Doctor talk to you?" She sat on her bed and put her hands in her lap. She was looking at her hands when I sat down. "I asked him where you were. He said the Tardis told him you were in the garden. I asked him to talk to you first."
"Why him first?" I questioned.
"Because I was worried that you were mad at me after Platform One. I know how much you hate fighting. I remember you telling me one night that you hated it because your parents used to fight so much." She spoke softly. My eyebrows knit together.
"What? When did that happen? I don't remember that." I had absolutely no memory of telling her this and while thinking about it, I couldn't recall my parents at all.
"A couple months ago. We had come home from drinking. I got you in bed and you told me why you had snapped at Mickey for arguing with someone. I tried asking you more but you fell asleep. After that I decided not to push." She shrugged.
"I guess I can only remember things while drunk." I gave a soft laugh. She smiled slightly.
"Are you okay though?"
"Yeah. I'm just worried that I'm going to do something to make you or the Doctor hate me. I've been acting different lately and I just don't want to hurt you somehow." I explained briefly.
"I couldn't hate you. We may fight, but I'll never hate you. Promise." She hugged me before yawning. I chuckled.
"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll see you in the morning." I suggested. She nodded. We bid each other goodnight before I left her room and entered my own. It was perfect. The walls were a dark midnight blue, the floor a dark cherry oak. There was a large black wardrobe and a large black desk. There was a door to a walk in closet and another door that led to a black and white marble bathroom. The bed was a king sized four poster bed. There was a black curtain surrounding the black satin covered bed. Each side of the bed had a black night stand. In one corner of the room was a large black overstuffed chair. It was absolutely perfect. I reapplied the make up to my wrist and let it dry before crawling into the soft bed. I turned off the lamp sitting on the nightstand. The walls lit up with what looked like little stars. The ceiling had spiraling galaxies. I smiled and slipped into a comfortable sleep.