Astraea walks behind Leo timidly when he motioned for her to follow. Her stomach developed a twisted knot inside it as they passed the turnstiles, and past the entrance, and the anxiety grew at every step she took.
Think happy thoughts, the teen repeated to herself mentally.
Surprisingly, the first happy thought appearing in her mind was a moment occurring only a few minutes ago. Her hug with Leo…besides being the first happy thought that came into her mind, it was also the only happy moment she recalled. And honestly, she didn't want to release her grip from the blue banded turtle when he drew back his arms from around her. She felt safer, and not guilty for what she had done to him.
Of course, she was an assassin, so she'd hurt others in the past worse than what she did to Leo, but injuring him was the first time she felt guilty for her actions. It wasn't a stab in the side which would take a while to heal, or a fracture to the leg, and yet, she wanted to forget that she had ever hurt him. He was the one after all, who would accept her, and genuinely try to help her because of her back story.
As she turns her head from left to right, taking a glance at the place for the second time, the unsheathing and twirling of metal catches her attention. When she looks in the direction of the dojo, she sees three shocked and battle-ready faces. Mikey's, Raph's, and Donnie's.
Their weapons were in their hands, and they looked more than ready to express their anger on her. But luckily for her, she had her protector who stood in front of her at the sight of the other three turtles. And he stood firm. "Guys, don't worry. She came back to help us", Leo said. His hands were up in a 'calm down' gesture, and it seemed to work. The three brothers lowered their weapons some.
She heard a sigh of relief coming from the turtle standing right in front of her, and a smile quirked up from the corner her lips. Even he is nervous about this, the blonde teen thought.
"But how do you know she's really here to help us? Maybe she's spying for Shredder", Raph pointed out. Astraea flinched from her ex-master's name, and the statement. She pondered over it, and thought, maybe she would have done that since it is cunning, but she wouldn't have the heart to lie to them for Shredder, and try to get information out of them at the same time. It didn't feel right.
She may be slightly a dark person, but she couldn't lie if it was to help the Shredder.
Leo looked over his shoulder at her, plead, and wondering in his eyes, hoping she sees those emotions and isn't there to double-cross them. Her eyebrows scrunched up in pity, but there was no reason why. She was definitely not here to double-cross them though.
"Raphael. I assure you I am not here to spy on you like a double-agent, or a mole", Astraea said. The words came out of her mouth confidently, and slowly. The turtles needed to hear and take in every word she said. They needed to hear that she is speaking the truth.
"And I have returned the motorbike. It is in the front", She said. The return of their belongings would hopefully display that she is not here to spy on them, but the news only seemed to put a ghost of a smile on the purple banded turtle's face, not the others.
Raph kept his angry face, and Mikey kept his suspicious expression on. The blonde teen exhaled in frustration. This scenario came out distinctly different than I expected, she thought. Leo turned his body to face her fully, as she rubbed her temples, trying to find a way to convince them she would not–and will never–bring any harm.
Fortunately, the purple banded turtle was deciding to be a little more forgiving, and gave her a solution that would help her explain herself. Though he didn't realize that his question would be beneficial for her.
"Then why are you here Astraea?" Donnie asked. Unlike his brothers, he was willing to hear her out, in how she would explain her presence. He ignored the glare from his shorter elder brother standing adjacent to him, and focused his attention on Astraea.
The blonde teen raised her eyebrows, surprised at the purple banded turtle's inquiry, and the opportunity given to her. Is he genuinely interested, or is he just playing nice for the moment?, she wondered. Blinking rapidly, she shook her head and pushed the thought aside to avoid losing this chance.
She glanced up at the blue banded turtle–his eyes still studying her–and the signal he received from her 'look' was that he should lead the group to sit down on the couches before she would begin her explanation.
He felt a wave of Déjà vu at realizing the similar situation that hit his head. More than two years ago, when they first brought Jaylene to the Lair, they were also seated on the couch for a semi-interrogation–though they didn't treat her as a captive like they treated Astraea. She was handcuffed on one wrist however, but no hard feelings.
After coming back into reality, away from the appearing thoughts in his mind, Leo moved towards the couches. He spotted his brothers flinching a little from his sudden movement–breaking the stillness–and could feel Astraea trailing closely behind him.
The pair sit on the couch, as the three brothers stare in confusion. But after a few seconds pass, Donnie walks past his two brothers and seats himself on the second couch adjacent to the one Astraea and Leo sits on. The second to youngest turtle wanted to keep his distance from the blonde teen whom he didn't trust very much, though he trusted her a little more than his two other brothers.
Raph's expression shifts from confusion to disbelief at the sight of the purple banded turtle seating himself on the couch, and shortly afterwards, the youngest turtle follows his elder brother's example.
The red banded turtle clenches his fists and grits his teeth. We're not getting any closer to finding Jaylene if we trust the enemy too much too many times, he thought.
Moments pass, and no one speaks, waiting for Raph to make his move. Should he choose to leave or to stay was his decision, and Astraea would begin whatever his choice would be. She preferred for him to leave, because she personally thought his presence made her uncomfortable as he hates her the most out of everyone in the Lair.
And despite Astraea's opinion, and Raph's thoughts, the red banded turtle slowly began to trudge to the couch, but he sits on the third couch away from Astraea & Leo, and Mikey & Donnie.
He slumps when he sits, in which the blonde teen closes her eyes from disappointment at his choice. He will not be my focus anymore. Ignore him Astraea, and the glares he may give to you, she thought and breathed in and out a few times.
A small nudge at her rib startled her, but without taking a glance, she knew it was Leo indicating for her to hurry before a particular someone makes a tantrum from impatience.
"Well then", she said as she wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs and knees. She let out a little cough and gave a nervous smile to the turtles. "To answer your question Donatello, I am here to help you."
It was a simple sentence to begin with. And along with that, it was the truth. The 'why' to her statement would come soon.
A cough was heard from her left, but she knew it was Raphael. He would be the only one to do such a thing that was a straightforward action to show he didn't believe her. Astraea quietly grumbled from annoyance, and felt a hand on her right shoulder. It calmed her down almost instantly.
She brought her left arm up and placed her hand on top of Leo's hand still lingering on her shoulder.
"I believe your side of the story of Shredder and Splinter–though it is hard to take in that Karai is Splinter's real daughter as she does not seem to have one bit of kindness in her", she said. Three out of four turtles smiled at her comment, while from the corner of her eye, she spots the red banded turtle rolling his eyes. She too rolled her eyes at his stubbornness, and continued.
"Though I may have come across as…ignorant at first, and my main goal was to escape from ones I should not have escaped from, it was because there is an emptiness in me." The teen paused. "And I returned to Shredder, because–"
"You thought he was the only one that could help you. Because he was the one that helped you", Donnie finished her sentence. He remembered what his sensei had said.
"I would think she is running back to all she knows. The Shredder seemed to have helped her start over, and she does not want to throw it away…"
Splinter's voice echoed in his mind of the wise words he had spoken a while ago. And he finally understood it better. The similar mindset Splinter predicted of Astraea, and then hearing her say it herself was all he really needed to believe her.
She was really running back to Shredder because he helped her fill the emptiness…temporarily. And she thought that running away from him would bring back the emptiness. But why is she back?, the purple banded turtle thought. He believed her reason for why she tried–and was successful–to escape from them, but why would she come back?
The main thing was, that he trusted her even more now. However, there was his younger brother, and older, hard-headed brother left for Astraea to convince.
"Yes Donatello, I trusted the Shredder", and she stressed on the past tense of the word 'trusted'. "But when I returned, I could not believe how Shredder and Karai treated me. They could not care less that I had disappeared. Acted as if I was the one being selfish for leaving them hanging."
The sixteen year old blew a strand of her hair tumbling down in front of her face from the corner of her mouth. She lifted her head up, and sees Donnie, Mikey and Leo, their expressions showing concern for her. All she did was give them a weak smile, and spoke again.
"Seeing at how they could not fill the emptiness–that I still carry, though have not noticed–I realize that if I cannot fill the emptiness in me, I could fill the emptiness in others", she extended her hands some, and motioned to the turtles around her.
The blonde teen thought of this while she was driving the motorbike from Shredder's base to the turtles' Lair. As she drove, she reminisced of seeing the fondness on the red banded turtle's face at describing Jaylene a week before. She was intrigued by how much Raph seemed to care for Jaylene, and that they had something special.
But the emptiness settled when Jaylene was taken away from him. From their family. And when the emptiness came, the dread longing was attached to it.
Carrying that feeling for so long, Astraea was used to it. Didn't even know it was there at first. But this was something quite new for the turtles. The first years of feeling emptiness brings terrible misery, so Astraea was determined to end it, and help them find their Jaylene. Maybe she would have a smaller feeling of emptiness if she filled other people's.
"Plus, I might enjoy going against the people I thought had cared about me. Stealing a few information from them would make me feel a little better", Astraea added. The corner of her lips curled into a mischievous smile at the statement. She glanced to her right, and found Mikey beaming, Donnie giving a tooth-gapped-also-mischievous smile, and Leo grinning at her while shaking his head.
Now that's the Karai-side of her showing again, the blue banded turtle thought. He looked at Raph's direction, and was surprised by the small smirk clinging to his brother's lips, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Astraea was probably a strategist though, knowing that if she spoke in the language of his red banded brother, there was no way he could disagree. And that was the second reason Leo was grinning.
The turtles and Astraea exchange a few questions as minutes pass, and the minutes almost add up to an hour before Leo notices that it's nearly midnight. One by one, he notices his brothers slowly giving in to their sleepiness as they begin to yawn and their eyes get droopy. The number of blinks and the speed of their blinking gradually decreases, and then a snore was heard from the youngest turtle.
It startled everyone in their mid-conversation. Leo stands up from his seat and pats his little brother on his shell to wake him and make sure he will sleep soundly in his bed instead of the couch. "Okay, let's go guys. Move your shells", the blue banded turtle says while moving his hands in a 'move along' gesture.
As they sluggishly pick themselves up and head towards the bedrooms, they each say a polite, "Goodnight Astraea", before they disappear into their bedrooms. When it comes down to the three left in the room, Raph stares at the two with a straight face, and finally lightens it up a little bit. His expression towards Astraea is softer, and he mumbles a, "Goodnight" before he too leaves for bed.
When the sound of his footsteps stop, Astraea and Leo glance at each other as they are the only ones in the living room. The two stand in awkward silence, not knowing what to say to one another.
Do I tell her to go to bed? And where is 'bed'?
What should I ask him? I'll eventually have to go to sleep too, but where?
But after a few minutes of dead silence, both decide to speak.
"If it is alright–"
"You know you could–"
Before they both stop mid-sentence and laugh at speaking in unison, after minutes pass containing no words. Leo lifts his hand and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly as Astraea shifts her weight uncomfortably, and they both stare at the floor.
He raised his head to meet her eyes once the sight of the floor became a little too boring for interest, and reads Astraea's expression. She carries one that motions for him to speak first.
Seeing the look on her face, he coughs twiddles his thumbs anxiously, before speaking. "Would you–if you would like to, sleep in my room for tonight?" he offers and wished he phrased it better when Astraea's response was to widen her eyes.
The blue banded turtle stuttered, then said, "I-I mean, you could sleep in my bed, and I'll sleep here in the living room. On the couch." He patted the seat cushion of the couch at the end of his sentence, and mentally face-palmed at his action. He didn't know what else to say or do.
The blonde teen smiles, no longer wearing the wide eyes, and looks at him with an expression of amazement. She awkwardly laughs once before opening her mouth to speak. "Well Leonardo, I was going to ask you if it would be alright if I slept on the couch", and she began to nervously chuckle as Leo joins in.
"Ahem, but yes, thank you for the offer, and I would like that." Leo smiles at her reply and walks in the direction of the bedrooms. Astraea watches him and follows shortly after she had slung the bang strap on her shoulder, and quickly walks behind him. I wonder what his room is like…
Leo reaches his bedroom door, and abruptly stops in his tracks. Astraea follows suit and halts a step away from him. The blue banded turtle stares at the door to his room, and looks to Astraea standing on his right with a nervous smile. "Heh, this is my room. Well, the door to it anyway."
The blonde teen smirks at his words, finding it adorable how he's fumbling with what to say, and just speaking with whatever comes to mind. Her smirk grew wider at that thought.
The seventeen year old exhales, and pushes the door open. He reaches to his left and flicks the lights on, before pushing the door open wider for Astraea to enter first.
She takes a couple of steps in and lifts her head up, looking around at the walls in his room covered with posters, and her eyes drift from them to the shelves full of comic books and a few action figures all placed neatly, with a bed in the left corner of the room.
"This is nice", she said. Leo breathes a sigh of relief at her statement, and the fact that he cleaned his room recently, especially now that he'll have a guest in it for a bit. Or for no one knows how long.
The sixteen year old sits herself on his bed, and he smiles before saying goodnight. The last thing he sees Astraea do is zipping open her sports bag of belongings as he grabs the spare blanket lying near the doorway, and then closing the door shut.
He heads back to the living room and plops himself on the couch opposite to the T.V his head clear of thoughts so that he could sleep comfortably. But as he lies down and drapes the blanket over him, he switches sides to sleep on his right, hoping it would be a more pleasant sleeping position. When he wriggles in his sleeping posture to settle in, he suddenly sees a faded projection of himself and Master Splinter, standing outside Donnie's lab about a week ago. He blinks rapidly at the sight and rubs his eyes, but the projections don't vanish. Peering closer, he was aware that this was the scene of the night Splinter uncovered Astraea's emptiness.
"You heard everything in the conversation, yes?" Splinter says to his son, and Leo only nods in reply. There was nothing he could say in words, though there were a few thoughts slipping into his mind at his sensei's question. He did hear everything in the conversation as if they were directly speaking to him.
But who could blame him? His sensei wasn't deliberately trying to make the conversation audible to him, but Astraea raised her voice often in that conversation, and, he was sitting on the couch right outside the lab with the door open.
"Astraea has been exposed of her last layer, and she would be planning to leave tonight Leonardo, as she does not feel comfortable anymore, now that two people know her deepest feelings of emptiness and why she is feeling it", Splinter tells Leo. Leo blinks in confusion at Splinter's prediction, but feels that it does sound possible, and he knows that the two people who knows this information so far, is him and Splinter.
Leo gives him a concerned expression and asks, "What are we going to do about it?"
Splinter runs the pads of his thumb and forefinger down his beard, and is deep in thought. Finally he makes his decision, and says to Leo, "Keep an eye on her. You do not have to guard the door of the lab, but you should stay alert. If it is possible, you may remain in the kitchen while you wait, so that you could rest your head on the table, but also keep alert. She will not see you from the kitchen."
Leo gives his sensei a quizzical expression, but accepts the suggestion subsequently to asking his sensei, "Sensei, I am glad I was chosen to do this, but why me? Raph would be more than willing to take her down or do whatever means necessary to keep her from escaping", though Leo cringed at imagining his brother hurting Astraea.
He glances up at Splinter with eyes full of wondering, and Splinter says to him, "You have answered your own question Leonardo. That is why I asked you. I know you wouldn't hurt her, and you understand her situation, unlike Raphael who does not know her secret emptiness." The rat figured that giving the job to his eldest son would also mean he has a stronger probability of changing Astraea's mind if she allowed him, and no battle between his sons and Astraea would come. Though he couldn't promise the last point.
Leo nods his head much like he did before, but also realizes that he's not only doing this because he was told to, but because he genuinely cared for Astraea's fate. And he didn't want it to lead to her standing next to Shredder in this battle between Shredder and their family.
Splinter nods a goodnight and turns around before walking away to his room. Leo remains silently standing in front of the lab, and is coming up with suggestions on how he should wait for Astraea. He wondered if it was better to wait for Astraea in the kitchen, or somewhere else. Scenarios played in his head that he would miss Astraea escaping because he fell asleep on the kitchen table, and was too deep in his sleep to wake up.
The turtle shook his head at the worst-case scenario, and finally came to a decision. He would hide in plain sight. But instead of also getting some while keeping his senses on, he would stay up the whole night, waiting for Astraea's move, and no matter how sleepy he may feel. He wanted to be focused on his goal of helping Astraea out while he knows Shredder might not be able to. But he also carried a small bit of doubt at Splinter's prediction.
Sure the rat is wise, but he doesn't feel so certain that she would try to escape that particular night.
He paced left to right, waiting and waiting. 'Maybe she's never gonna try', he thought, and sort of hoped. More than an hour flew by, and he was getting slightly impatient. Just when he decides he will change tactics and wait in the kitchen like Splinter suggested, Astraea emerges from Donnie's lab. Leo's eyes grow wide as he stands corrected.
Leo yawns when the projections fade completely as the memory is over, but before he shuts his eyes and falls asleep, he wonders why he didn't suggest for Astraea to sleep in the spare room. He thinks long and hard of what settled in his mind, and another thought entering, answers his question.
His younger, red banded brother wouldn't agree to that. It was basically Jaylene's room, a home away from home. And Raph didn't want anyone to be there except Jaylene, or without Jaylene's permission since it sort of became her room, from the times she slept there. She probably even left some clothes in there.
When his head is clear of interrupting thoughts, he tries to get himself to sleep, but footsteps and a movement near the couch next to him awakens him.
He sits up, turns, and sees Astraea sitting on the couch with his blanket from his room in her hands. She smiles at him as he arches a brow, and she says, "I think I may be more comfortable here." And with that, she lies down and wraps his blanket around her. Leo watches her until he hears soft snores, and smiles softly before he too succumbs to sleep.
His eyes open slowly, and he yawns in the process. Not bad sleep for one night on the couch, he thought. Leo sits up and scratches his shell while trying to keep himself awake. What time is it?, the blue banded turtle wondered. Maybe Astraea knows.
He glances at the couch next to him, and does a double-take. It's empty. His eyes are filled with shock at seeing the empty couch along with the blanket–that she slept with– gone.
He panics and jumps up, looking left and right for any sign of Astraea. But when he takes a step forward, a small crunching under his feet occurs. He lifts his foot up, eyebrow raised, and sees a small white piece of paper.
The turtle bends down and picks it the paper up, seeing neat, cursive writing on the paper.
Gone out. Will be back shortly.
~ Astraea
P.S your blanket is back in your room
Leo smiles in relief, and his heart slows down its beating pace. He happily walks to the kitchen to throw the note away, but drops it from surprise when Mikey bursts in through the entrance of the kitchen.
The blue banded turtle jumps from where he stood, holding his head to his chest to calm himself down as Mikey is says, "Leo! You have to hear what Raph's gotta say!"
And on cue, Raph enters the kitchen, his hand behind his back.
"What is it Raph?" Leo asks, attention fully on his brother. From all the calmness of last night, he figured that things would be less jumpy in the Lair. Astraea seemed to have made some sort of amend with the red banded turtle, so he thought that there would be less trouble around here. Guess he was wrong.
Raph stares at his brother with uncertainty and says, "It's about Astraea."
At hearing her name, Leo groans and mutters angrily. "What is with you?! You're always complaining about here, and I thought everything would be fine starting from last night!"
But his sentence doesn't change the expression on his brother's face. Raph's face is kept serious and straight. "It was alright last night. That's the problem. She made it seem like everything would be fine, that I forgot to tell you something important", the shorter turtle said, before he shoves an object at his brother. Leo stares at the object, holding the handle without a care, and not taking anything in. Until he realizes its familiarity. His stomach drops at realizing what it is.
"Is that–?"
"Yeah. Found it on the floor in Donnie's lab last week. Didn't bring it up since you were recovering from what she did to you", Raph cut in. He snatches the object back and gazes at it with longing. He didn't want to bring his brother even more disappointment since Astraea had already hurt him, so he waited for the right time to tell. But when Astraea returned, it made it ten times more difficult for Raph to say something about it.
Leo outstretches his hand and grabs the object from his brother, though he is slightly confused as to why Raph didn't growl when he took it from him. He squeezes the handles tight, wondering what it all means, and attempting to piece the puzzle together. Astraea, what aren't you telling us?
Fin
Heh over a month of not updating, but I finally pushed some work aside and finished this. The scene between Splinter and Leo is for ilovecartoonsgirl because you were wondering what Splinter said to Leo before Astraea's escape attempt. Enjoy and please review and I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas!
Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT 2012