A/N: Ive had this little add on sitting on my computer for too long, time to let it be free.
Snap
You think about it on nights when the house is too quiet; when the eyes of those who know follow you too closely as if you were a ticking time bomb. Some days are better than others but these days you'll settle for anything that doesn't border on manic depressive. You count backwards in your head as if the simple reversal of numbers could really take you back…but it doesn't and you stand there thinking how utterly stupid you were for believing that it ever could.
There's something squirming around in your stomach, clenching at your throat but you don't cry, not yet. Instead you just stand there pretending that if you hold still long enough this all just might go away.
Their faces sadden, and their hands reach for your shoulders but no words or touch could comfort this pain because your seething with anger and so much of this indescribable pain because you trusted him. You trusted him to not take the easy way out, to think for half a minute that maybe your two worlds had been so inexplicably entangled that if he should leave you would be forced to follow. No. Instead they pulled the trigger; they ended their suffering where yours now begins. This newfound animosity is cheating you out of sadness and robbing you of the right to satisfy your grief. They had a choice you repeat like a dying mantra, they had a choice and they chose wrong.
So what does that make them? Worse, what has it made you?
The chills rack over your skin as the hair stands on end, are they watching this? Do they see your dilemma and feel regret or do they revel in the undeniable knowledge that their life had meant something to someone. Death is final and while the emotions swirl inside you with a sea of indecision you come to the realization that you could never do it. You could never truly end your life with those sort of feelings in your heart. He has forced you to face a future without him and it has ruined every dream and wish you'd had since they first let you hold him in your arms. Now you must go on living because you have the responsibility of living for both of you. For doing the things you promised you would see him through with, for making sure this deadly sickness dies inside your veins and no one else's.
He will be the last to live with the power of fire in their hands because without the rare cooling touch of her hand in yours, you know you too would have snapped.