Chapter 5

Jackie's reaction to his question seemed even more confusing as she laughed, and then she hugged him and as she let go of him, the Doctor saw relief shining in her eyes.

"I was wrong about everything...when I said Earth was the safest place..." emotion was overcoming her once more as she blinked away tears, "Oh you lovely man, it's so good to have you back! And I'm sorry I said all that about danger in outer space...you don't remember? It was a bomb, Doctor. You and Rose were in town and...it was a terrorist bomb!"

Then she dissolved into tears as she hugged him again.

"Thank god you're back with us!"

Finally, she let him go and wiped her eyes.

"I'll tell Rose you're awake. Just stay there - don't even try and get up yet!"

And then she left the room.

A terrorist bomb?

The Doctor thought hard.

The pieces were coming together now:

A blast that had knocked him and Rose to the floor, and then a ceiling cracking open, him covering her just as it fell...And he had lost consciousness before telling Rose the coma was self induced to repair his injuries...

"Oh Rose," he whispered, as his hearts ached for her. He could only imagine the pain and anguish she had suffered believing he would never recover...

Rose had just finished putting the shopping away.

As her mother walked into the kitchen she noticed she looked happier, and she smiled too.

"I told you he can hear us! You can see it now, right?"

"Better than that," Jackie said, "He just woke up, Rose. He woke up and he's absolutely fine!"

Rose stared at her.

"He's -"

"Awake!" Jackie exclaimed, and the look of relief on her daughter's face was enough to bring tears to her eyes all over again.

Rose dashed past her and ran up the hallway towards the bedroom, and Jackie stayed in the kitchen, pausing to wipe her eyes, then she decided she really ought to give those two some time alone - because suddenly she felt like they needed that space.

"Doctor!"

As Rose ran over to his bedside, his face lit up in a warm smile as she sat beside him, and then he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"I thought..."

He was still embracing her, and he didn't let go.

"You thought wrong."

He pulled back a little and looked into her eyes.

"Rose, I'm so sorry, I didn't have time to explain what I was going to do – I put myself into a coma to heal my injuries. To everyone else around me it must have seemed like I was dying, but I wasn't. I'm sorry you went though so much worry."

She blinked.

"You did it yourself?"

"I had no choice, it was either that or regenerate. And I'm not ready to go, I'm planning to be around for a very long time!"

Rose blinked away tears.

"Let me look at you..."

As she ran her fingers though his hair and looked into his eyes, he smiled again.

"I'm fine!"

She pulled him closer, and the kiss they shared set her mind at rest - he was definitely recovered...

But as she sat beside him and he saw a look in her eyes that said she wanted more, he rested back against pillows and quickly explained something she didn't know.

"I'm exhausted, Rose. It's going to take a couple of days before I'm over this. My body has been working hard, I wasn't resting."

"I'm not surprised," she said quietly, "You should have seen the state of you after the explosion. Everyone thought you was dying. When we were on board the ship-"

"What ship?"

Now he was suddenly alert once more despite his fatigue.

"I'll tell you later."

"No, tell me now. A ship? An alien ship? Aliens were responsible for the explosion?"

It was too late to change it now. The Doctor missed nothing, even after all he had been through, he still missed nothing...

"You said you need to rest."

His dark eyes met with hers.

"Tell me everything that happened, Rose. Leave nothing out!"

And she gave a heavy sigh as she wondered how she could manage to do that without telling him about her own problem.

"We were teleported out of the bomb site by the Judoon. They were interviewing witnesses, they were trying to find the bombers. Then when it was my turn I was told they had the bombers, and they were working for an alien source. They wouldn't tell me any more..." Rose fell silent as pain reflected in her eyes.

"Go on," the Doctor said patiently.

"And then I was taken to see you – they sent a medic with lilac sort of eyes because she was the closest on board to my species. This was when I was told you would never wake up. They said the coma was permanent."

"It would have seemed that way because I'd shut myself down," the Doctor told her, "So what happened next?"

Talking about it made it no easier to bear as she felt as if the whole awful time was being dragged up to become vivid as yesterday once again.

"She talked to me about how there was no chance that you would recover and I thought she was right. Then this other woman came up and took over and said she had been assigned to take us back to Earth. And we teleported here, back to the flat. Me and mum swapped rooms so I could stay with you all the time and then we just waited."

The Doctor was thinking over all she had said, and there was something in there that he was sure he ought to spot, but he was still tired and his mind was not quite sharp enough yet.

"There's something I don't get," he told her, "It's in there, but I don't know what it is yet...it will come to me."

Rose frowned.

"Like what?"

"I don't know...let me think...are you sure you didn't miss anything out?"

She thought about the drugs, felt guilty and shook her head.

It was then as he looked at her, the Doctor noticed something that until now,he had felt too weary to spot.

"Rose, you look worn out!"

She smiled and her eyes shone in a dull kind of way.

"I thought I was losing you. I'm not surprised it shows on my face."

But the Doctor wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure it's nothing else?You look terrible."

She forced a laugh.

"Thanks a lot Doctor, it's just that I've been more worried about keeping you alive than getting enough sleep or putting on my make up!"

"I didn't mean it like that, Rose. I'm serious, you don't look well."

"I'm okay," she replied, and he was not convinced, but said no more on the subject as he thought back to all she had said, wondering why her story didn't sound quite right.

"Okay, so the bomb was alien. I get that part...But that girl...purple eyes..something you said about her...what have I missed?"

Rose shook her head.

"Nothing - but her eyes weren't exactly purple more like lavender or lilac or -"

"It doesn't matter that I'm a TimeLord, I'm still a bloke," he reminded her, "Don't start on shades of colour like you want to pick from a paint chart to decorate a room. No lilac or lavender and as for mauve, forget it, I have no clue what that looks like! Let's just say her eyes were purple!"

Rose smiled.

"Okay. The girl with purple eyes came to see me because she had to give me bad news and the Judoon thought it was better coming from her."

"Why her?"

Now the Doctor's mind was sharpening up.

"Because they said -"

"She was the onlyhumanoid on board?"

He got it now...

"But she wasn't, because the other woman teleported you back to Earth. Did she have purple eyes too?"

Rose shook her head.

"She looked completely human."

The Doctor's eyes widened as the pieces fell into place.

"So if the Judoon had wanted to send you a medic with humanoid appearance it would have been her instead of purple eyes! Don't you see? She wasn't a medic. I don't know who she was but she must have sneaked on boad the ship...following us. But why?"

"I don't know," Rose said quietly, and the thought of talking about Missy filled her with dread as much as the notion that the Doctor was wide awake and resting in bed - and that case was under the bed and tomorrow she would need to take a hit, because the bottle was running low already. She was getting greedy for the stuff...

"What happened to the woman who teleported us back here?"

"She came with us. She said she wanted to jump ship because the Judoon paid lousy wages."

The Doctor's eyes clouded with confusion.

"No, that can't be right. The Judoon are very good employers - swift in deliverance of justice when it comes to catching criminals, but very, very good employers because they believe obsessively in fairness and ensuring workers rights are respected. What she told you was a lie. What happened after that?"

Rose paused. She became tearful but managed to pull it back as she looked away from him, avoiding his gaze.

"Just leave it..."

As she sat beside him looking away, as he thought about the pain he heard in her voice, the Doctor started to worry.

"Rose," he said gently, and he placed his hand on her cheek, turning her face towards him, so once again they were making eye contact, "What ever it is that's happened, I will understand," he promised her, "You know that! Now tell me the rest."

Rose took a heavy breath.

"The woman who came back to earth with us said she was staying on – I don't know where, she said she knew the planet quite well. She came back here to check on you but instead she made a move on me, she tried to kiss me, she said she used to be a man? And she said when she was alone with you, she had a good look at you and it turned her on. I threw her out!"

The Doctor stared at her.

"I have no idea who you're talking about. I keep feeling as if I ought to know, but...a woman who used to be a man? No, doesn't ring any bells with me at all..."

"That's all I know," she said, and the guilt in her heart weighed heavy, "She was just a woman from the Judoon ship and now I don't know where she is. She never came back."

"But if she did," the Doctor promised as he put his arm around her, "She'll have me to deal with this time, so forget just about her!"

And Rose smiled at last, her mood lifted by the reassurance of his closeness.

Missy rarely felt fear, because her unbalanced mind cancelled out the option. But now, as the signal had cleared and she was looking at the screen set into her Tardis console and the eye stalk of a Dalek looked back at her, she did feel it, and that fear was growing by the second...

"You were in the vicinity of the explosion you were taken to the Judoon ship you will explain!" barked the metallic voice.

"I had no choice. Everyone was taken."

"Your tracking device was part scrambled. Ex-plain!"

She paused, studying her finger nails, refusing to show a fraction of the fear she felt at the thought that the Daleks could kill her instantly if they chose to do so.

"Blame the Judoon," she said, and then she looked to the Dalek as her ice pale blue eyes shone cold:

"I didn't talk. I avoided them and used their own device to get back to earth. They won't even miss me."

"Where is the replicator?"

"Safe."

"You will guard the replicator without it you have no further purpose and will be ex-ter-min-ated!"

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, what ever you say...Of course I have it safe! I am awaiting your instruction."

"You will continue to wait. The Judoon are still investigating."

Missy was struggling to hold back her temper now.

"Yes, and I shall continue to wait on you, I'm just a Time Lady, who am I to question the might of your army so small that it needs to enslave the people of this miserable planet before making a take over bid? If only you were a mighty fleet instead of a rogue cell of what used to be part of a powerful army. I do so hate it when ships like yours fall through holes straight out of the Time War. Gaps in time, what a pain in the rear end! Good thing the Doctor isn't around to seal the rip."

The Dalek became agitated as it shifted left and right, its eye stalk jerking sharply as it tried to focus on the screen.

"THE DOCTOR IS THE ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! HE MUST BE DESTROYED!"

Missy stood watching the Dalek display of rage as if it bored her.

"Well, you've got Missy now, not the enemy of the Daleks. I am your ally. Perhaps you should treat me like one and release this bracelet so I'm not carrying a device that could kill me if you have a bad day!"

"Attempts to remove the device will result in extermination!"

"I knew that was coming. Don't you ever do anything unpredictable, like sing or whistle? How about some poetry – or limericks, do you know any dirty ones? "

"You will await instruction," the Dalek repeated, and the screen shut down.

Missy gave a sigh.

"Daleks," she said aloud, "No sense of humour at all..."

It was then she thought of her plan, the only option left now to escape:

She had to find a way to gain the Doctor's trust, because the Daleks had not yet discovered he was here on Earth. They would not be following his Tardis when it left...

The Doctor really was her only hope now.

All Missy could hope was that he wouldn't pay too much attention to the nonsense his girlfriend came out with about her – and surely, he would see it that way, given the fact that his Rose now had a rather nasty drug problem...

Several hours had passed since the Doctor had woken up. In all that time Rose had not left his side, and as she lay beside him watching him sleep to recover his energy, she felt sure her joy at his recovery had made all the worries come crashing down and away from her so fast she felt like an emotional wreck all over again.

Maybe she would have felt this way without the drugs.

Maybe not.

She just couldn't accurately understand her own moods any more.

But she did know she was happy the Doctor was recovered,and that was all that really mattered now...

It was late evening when he woke up and he looked to the window to see clouds sliding in over the colourful evening sunset, and as Rose turned on her side and shifted closer he looked into her eyes.

"Feeling better?" she asked him.

"I think so," he replied, "But maybe you should make sure of that..."

And as he playfully tugged on the zip that held her top together she giggled, and then they kissed, and moments later her top was on the floor with the rest of her clothing, and she and the Doctor were together beneath cool sheets as he took her in his arms, proving to her he was most definitely recovered now.

Rose slept heavily that night, and when she woke it was early morning and the Doctor was not beside her. She sat up and was about to call his name and then she paused, hearing him talking further down the hall as he thanked her mum for a lovely cup of tea.

Rose got out of bed and wrapped herself in a silken robe, tied it at the waist and then considered having a shower. Then she looked at the clock and realised it was way past her time for another fix.

Just the thought of it was enough to make the ache sink deep to her bones.

Rose knelt down on the floor and took the case from under the bed. Her heart was racing and she was sure it was more than withdrawal - she had to find another place to keep the replicator, because right under the bed she was currently sharing with her lover was not the best place - what about when they left? She would have to take it to the Tardis, and find an excuse for bringing it along. She had toyed with the idea of saying it was a make up case, although it looked a little too sturdy and solid to simply house cosmetics...

She activated the machine within and as she heard the click and the compartment opened, the sound was almost divine. She grabbed the bottle of blue liquid, closed the lid of the case and shoved it back under the bed.

Then she got up and sat on the edge of the bed, uncapped the bottle and looked at the deep blue liquid within and wished she could swim in it. Then Rose brought it up to her nose, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, and for a moment, she thought the skies outside had cleared away and she was flying up there amongst the swirl of blue heaven.

All of her tension left her, the high lasted more than a minute, climbing down gracefully to settle as a mellow buzz that faded a little, then as she opened her eyes the blue tint to the world around her also faded out.

Now she felt pleasantly relaxed, but not nearly enough...

She capped the bottle and wondered, was that why she seemed to be replicating it more and more lately? It seemed her tolerance level was going up, and now she wasn't just taking little sniffs of the stuff, she was inhaling deeply and greedily as it evaporated, keen to take in every last trace of it. In fact she was starting to think one long breath of one of these bottles, and it would all be gone in one go...now that was a little too much, although she imagined the buzz from it would be bloody good.

She didn't want to think like that, but the drug was making her do it...

Then she looked up, and closed her hand about the bottle and shoved it under her silken robe as she caught her breath, surprised to see the Doctor standing there in the doorway.

He was wearing his brown suit, he had his coat on, and the suit had no tears from the explosion and his coat was immaculate.

"You look great!" she said in surprise.

The Doctor stepped into the room, saying nothing as he walked over to her, then he stood there looking down at her with his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"You mum got my suit repaired, she had my clothes cleaned up after the explosion. At the time I'm not sure if she thought I'd be wearing them again or if she expected me to be buried in them, but all the same, it was the thought that counts."

Rose was still sitting on the bed, her hand over the bottle she had shoved beneath a fold of her robe.

"Yeah, that was nice," she said, "A nice thought."

And he frowned for a moment as he caught the trace of blue around her nose, and since he had just seen her inhaling, and seen what she had been inhaling, he now understood why she looked so tired and her eyes carried a dull shine...

"I need to talk to you."

"About what, Doctor?"

He sat down beside her and slipped his hand beneath her robe, grabbing that the bottle of blue liquid.

"About this," he said.

She gave a gasp as he took it from her, and as she looked into his eyes, the darkness she saw there was anger - but she knew that anger was not directed at her.

"I saw you inhaling," he said to her, "This," he held up the bottle, "Is a highly addictive banned substance called Blue Ice – its made from a plant called the Blue Reaper Poppy that is found in the Spearpoint Proxima Galaxy. It came about initially as a weapon used in chemical warfare. Then drug dealers got hold of it and now it's the most notorious brand of A class in the universe."

Tears filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't know...at the time I was so low, I was so lost...I thought I was losing you and she said it was safe, she said it would help me cope."

The Doctor was trying hard to contain his anger.

"Who did?"

"The woman from the ship, she gave me the drug, she gave me a replicator machine too."

His eyes widened.

"Where is it?"

"Here..."

Rose reached down and pulled the case from under the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said again, "I wanted to tell you but I kept thinking eventually I could handle this, I could stop taking it -"

"That's a portable machine capable of enslaving an entire planet!" the Doctor exclaimed, "Rose, this has to stop!"

She gave a sob.

"But I can't," she said tearfully, "Please forgive me..."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as he waited for her sobbing to ease up.

"There's nothing to forgive," he said gently as he stroked her hair, "This isn't your fault, Rose. None of this your fault. And I'm going to put this right."

As she took in a deep breath and pulled back on her tears, he loosened his grip on her, pulling back enough to look into her eyes.

"Just tell me one thing, that's all you have to do. I want her name. I want the name of the woman who did this to you."

Her eyes were still glazed from weeping and a tear ran down her face as she looked back at him, still begging for forgiveness even though she knew the Doctor well enough to know he understood, and was on her side.

"Just tell me her name," he said again, sounding calm as beneath the surface his anger was building as he silently made a vow to track down the person responsible for plunging Rose into this nightmare.

"Her name is Missy," Rose said tearfully.

"Thank you," he told her, and then he embraced her again, but although his embrace was tender, as he held her she did not see the rage that darkened his gaze.

"Missy," he repeated, "That was all I needed - a name. Don't worry Rose, it's going to be fine. I'll make it fine. And I'm going to find this Missy if I have to search the whole of time and space , what ever it takes, I'll do it. I'm going to hunt her down..."