really sorry about another short chapter. i just can't write actual people (as something that COULD be real...) like i can with fictional characters. i dunno.

again, sorry. i hope the next chapter is going to be longer. i set it up so a couple things are going to be going on so maybe that will help with the length. also, you're going to see a bit more into Jessica's character next chapter.

hope you enjoy!

Ruby

Chapter Six

House strutted into the room, finding it hard to walk without his cane, but managing to do so anyway. He saw his "patient", bending over the bed to reach for something on the floor. Straightening his jacket, and puffing out his chest, House made his presence known. "Ahem," he subtly coughed, looking at the patient's exposed backside. "You know, those gowns don't really stay shut..." He faded away, marveling in the perfectly chiseled butt of his subject.

He thought he was being coy.

Kie Jones sat bolt upright, startled at hearing House's voice. He brushed his long brown hair from his eyes, then turned towards the sound of the voice.

House froze, seeing the boy's chiseled face. A defined, yet unnecessary feature of this porn star. Unfortunately, Kie's good looks were only his second prominent feature, next to the masses sticking out from both sides of his head with surrounded by dark patches of crusty skin.

Nicole walked into the room, followed by the other ducklings and the new one. Looking at the stern frown on her boss's face, she backed past all of the doctors and stepped back into the hallway. "You lied!" House barked, extremely disappointed. Not at his employee, but at the fact that there was a male porn star in his care. In House's world, there were no male porn stars.

"You tell us to lie all the time!" She yelled back

"Not to me!" He hadn't noticed that Jessica was observing him through the glass. "To Cuddy...to everyone else... NOT ME!"

Nicole grimaced, placing her hands firmly on her hips. "Do you really want to get in this with me now? When I'm off medication and technically insane?"

House loosened, leaning back on his cane. He wasn't about to get into fight, verbal or physical, with his assistant who, as he learned the hard way, had extremely unusual upper body strength for someone her size. Not a good idea.

"You can't tell me that that in there doesn't give you the slightest curiosity." She also loosened her stance. Nicole took him by the wrist and pulled him back into the room. "Give the kid ten minutes. Diagnose him. If you haven't by the end of those ten minutes, then you can continue to diagnose him from your office."

House, being as ignorant as he was, refused to say anything for those ten minutes.

- - - - - - - -

The all took their normal seats in the conference room, watching House pace back and forth with a orange marker clasped in his teeth.

"Differential." He barked through the marker, also motioning for Jessica to find a seat. "I'm the only one that gets to stand today. All eyes on me." He turned back to his assistant, seated close to the door. "List the symptoms." As she spoke, he wrote the list on the white board:

symptoms of meningitis

emphatic coughing and wheezing

skin condition (House just bluntly wrote "horns")

"...and the nurse has here that he just recently spiked a temperature of 104, which has decreased within the last hour." Nicole finished, passing the folder from doctor to doctor.

"Is he actually a college student?" House asked, squinting at the board.

"No. He just does his...scenes...at a college dorm." Nicole hesitated. "Why?"

"Because that means we can cross off the meningitis from the list." He mumbled. He pulled a chair from the table and took his own seat. Twirling his cane between his fingers, he set his feet up on the tray at the bottom of the board. "This isn't enough." He sighed, rubbing his forehead with the other hand. "Foreman and Chase, do labs. As many as you can to get more information without possible killing him. Nicole, get the results then take the newbie to search the house. Cameron can go to the dorm."

"Why me?" Cameron asked, surprised but still slightly not.

"I thought you would want to lecture them on morale values. Sex is bad...Selling yourself for money is wrong... Say 'no' to drugs..." He continued with others, but his team had left the room.

He rooted around in his jeans until he found his cellphone. He flipped it open, dialed a single number, then held it to his ear until Wilson answered. "Where are you?" He barked. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

I had some vacation days...

"Yeah, and I'm in love with Cuddy."

Well that would explain a lot...

"A porn star with horns. Go!"

What?

"I have a twenty-four year old porn star with horns."

And... that's a problem?

"It's a guy!"