I wrote myself into a corner. Yey! –bangs head against table- But I think I got myself out of it.

Some people say there's no such thing as writer's block. I would like to most profoundly disagree. I haven't been able to write on any of my stories in weeks. Eh! We'll see what happens.

Thank you all for your review and for you patience. And I love some of your ideas. Anubis vs. Kinsey – I hadn't thought of that but it should prove amusing if I can fit it in. And the Tok'ra will be seen within the next few chapters. I leave you with a nice long chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 8

It was the first time Daniel had walked unshackled in the hall in many days. And it was the first time in those days that he was walking beside friends, not guards. He smiled softly to himself, reveling in the feeling of not being shunned completely by those he relied upon for his sanity.

Sam was looking overjoyed. Teal'c was looking like…well, Teal'c. And Jack was looking pensive, if that was possible. Perhaps he was just indignant.

Daniel wanted to smirk in triumph at all the people they passed in the hall. All of which looked at him with mixed expressions of wonder and horror. Getting the people on base to trust him again was going to be a chore. Hmm…maybe it would give his departments incentive to get things done. A glow of the eyes here, a barked multi-voiced demand there…the results could be tempting. But that would just be cruel.

Not to mention the general probably wouldn't stand for him harassing his staff.

"When are we going to work this out, Daniel?" Jack asked him after a long comfortable moment of silence as the team made their way through the hall and towards Daniel's office. Why they were heading there, none of them knew, it just seemed like a natural thing to do.

"As soon as possible would be the best, Jack," Daniel answered softly. "I'll need to change clothes, though, and we'll need to go to find somewhere secluded."

"Secluded?" Jack inquired.

Daniel smiled at him, a wicked glint showing in his eyes.

"Trust me, we'll both feel better when we are done. We need a good yelling match without the hassle of an audience. And we may just get in a little less than friendly sparing."

"But you're terrible at hand to hand fighting," Jack objected.

"I told you I am a wonderful actor, Jack. Do you think that after five thousand years I don't know how to defend myself? Do you honestly think it was you who taught me how to use a gun? I could hit a target dead on long before you were born."

"Ah, well, right-o," Jack grimaced.

Daniel gave him a superior look. "Yes, that's right, fear for your health."

"Like that could ever happen. I'll have you on the floor before you could blink."

"We shall see."

They continued on in silence until they reached Daniel's office. He entered with his eyes darting around the room, flashing on everything that should be and noting things that were out of place. He scowled as he saw the talisman sitting on his worktable, obviously broken. He picked it up with a scowl, frowning at the damage.

"The damn thing fell off the table, didn't it," he ground out, his shoulders tense.

"It was found on the floor," Sam confirmed. "Is that the device you use to get to your temple?"

"Yeah," Daniel replied slowly, obviously lost in thought. He picked up a metal pick from the table and began prodding the talisman gently, hitting certain points and listening for something that sounded wrong. His frown deepened as he tapped against the fractured side of the device, hearing the telltale rattle that told him he was going to have to take the device apart once again for the umpteenth time in his long life.

"Can it be fixed?" Sam inquired, her eyes bright with the possibility of tinkering. She was clearly asking if she could help.

"I'll have to take it completely apart to find out what came loose or broke off inside. You can help if you want," he offered to her, knowing she would jump at the chance of taking apart new alien technology. Daniel just hoped she would be able to get it back together again.

He tentatively inserted the metal pick further into the device, searching around for the button he knew was there that would open it. The button that was right next to another one.

White light flashed in the room and Daniel blinked, his hands tightening reflexively around the device.

"Whoops."

He looked up to find that he was no longer in his office. And his friends were with him. His eyebrows gave an odd twitch.

"Well that's never happened before," he said quietly as SG-1 took in their new surroundings. They were standing in the middle of thick forests, white flowers scattered across the ground in a beautiful picture of serenity. Light filtered through the tall trees. Daniel gave an explosive sneeze. "I really should have disabled that button," he muttered to himself.

"Daniel…" Jack growled out, glaring at the occasionally air-headed man.

"This place looks familiar," Sam announced.

"I agree," replied Teal'c.

And Daniel began to wonder if there was ever a time that all of them didn't take a turn to state the obvious. He sneezed again.

"We're back on my planet. The stupid reset button is right next to the open button, but it's never transported people who weren't touching it before…Granted people have never been standing with me before when I have used it. Maybe that's why we're not standing with the other half of the device. But if…" Daniel trailed off, his mind going into overdrive. He scratched at the side of his eyes with the metal pick, which would have been comical if he wasn't holding a pointy piece of metal that could poke his eyes out if he made one wrong move with it. Then a thought came to him and he grimaced, ducking his head. "How much do you think the general's going to kill me for this? He just let me go."

"That's the least of our problems," Jack grouched. "We don't have a GDO, how are we going to get back?"

"I have a radio in my temple," Daniel chirped.

"Of course you do…"

The trek back to the temple was not as long as it was from the gate, but the distance was still significant. Daniel was sneezing as much as humanly possible without giving himself brain damage and Jack was sulking, muttering about court marshals and other such things. Daniel also noted that Sam kept eyeing the device he held firmly onto. He knew she wanted to take it apart, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to let her. It was nothing against her personally, it was just that this device had been with him a long time and he felt uncomfortable letting other people handle it. Though she had told her she could help…that's what he gets for speaking without thinking first.

He sent Jack off to the armory when they reached the temple, so that the man would not follow him into his rooms and start rooting through all of his few ancient possessions that resided within, unseen by any eyes but his for thousands of years. Teal'c seemed to know to stay away from Daniel's refuge and followed Jack in his exploration of the many weapons Daniel had accumulated over the years from many different worlds and beings. It was Sam that followed him into his rooms, Sam that regarded all held within with a certain amount of awe.

The rooms were simple, but extremely tall, held aloft by towering pillars of stone. There were shelves and tables everywhere, each holding their own treasures. The bed in the corner was plain and unadorned with beige sheets and some kind of animal fur thrown over one side. What made the room Daniel's was the uncountable books and scrolls scattered across tables, stacked on the floor, and sitting on the numerous shelves. It was much like his office back at the SGC. It was at that moment that Sam realized how much being an anthropologist was part of Daniel's life. He had not invented the identity he wore now, he had always had it; it just hadn't had a name. He truly was the same person he had always been. Nothing had changed at all.

Sam watched him as he rooted through a chest in one corner, picking out the contents and setting them gently on the floor next to him. The expression he wore was the same one he used when rooting through a mound of artifacts. His fingers moved with a careful precision born of years of experience in handling fragile objects.

"We really have been cruel to you, haven't we, Daniel?" Sam spoke quietly, her eyes downcast. "We have been ignoring you for some time, or else we would have noticed all of this sooner."

Crystal blue eyes peered over at her, glistening strangely in the dim light of the room. Then Daniel turned away again, his expression pensive and dark as he continued to dig through the massive chest.

"I pushed you all away. I know that. I knew what would happen when I did. I expected little else. There is nothing to apologize for, Sam."

She bit her lip, studying his back as he worked, refusing to look her way.

"It's just that…I don't think we're ever really known you at all, Daniel. Not because you lied or pushed us away, but because we never really took the time. I understand that now. You tried so hard to be unassuming that we forgot about you. We didn't take care of you like we should have." The look of horror on her face would have been unmistakable if Daniel had dared to look. He did not. "I just can't believe we did that."

He smiled sadly to himself, his face reflected in a mirror resting in the depths of the chest, sending his morose expression right back at him.

"You did nothing I did not ask of you. I…I did want you all to care for me, but I didn't want to let you close. I didn't want to be hurt and that is my own fault."

"That doesn't excuse out actions, Daniel!" Sam exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter," he responded firmly, his hands gripping the side of the chest so hard his knuckles were white. "It's in the past, Sam. Leave it there!" He was almost desperate.

"The past isn't far enough away," she insisted. "It should never have happened at all!"

Daniel sighed, sitting back on his heels. He hung his head in a resigned manner, closing his eyes.

"I would never hold it against you, any of you. I am the one that held you all at a distance. It was what I meant to do. I just didn't expect it to hurt so much. It never has before."

"Oh, Daniel…"

And then she was hugging him from behind, holding his as tightly as she could. His lips gave a betraying quiver, but he did not cry. It felt good, to be held, to have someone want to comfort him. He could have lived in that moment forever. Instead, he picked up the radio he had finally found and waved it at her.

"Found it!" he exclaimed with a brightness he didn't feel.

Sam gave him a tighter squeeze and then released him, gracing him with a brilliant smile. Together they left the room and rounded up the other two in the armory, where Jack was getting into all sorts of trouble. Daniel was surprised he hadn't managed to stun or shoot himself by them.

They made their way back to the gate as quickly as they could, fearing the general's wrath, of course. Daniel knew he was going to be in big trouble with that general. Sam dialed the gate and he waited for Jack to make radio contact with the control room. The general was on the line before they had the chance to blink.

"Colonel O'Neill, where they hell are you?" Hammond barked over the radio. Not a happy camper.

Jack cringed. "We're on…er…Daniel's planet, sir."

"How did you get there?" the general growled.

"Daniel touched something, sir."

"I see…"

"I thought you would, sir."

"I do not want a reoccurrence of this, Colonel."

Jack cringed again at the anger in the general's voice. "There won't be, sir."

"Come on through."

Jack offered his team a cocky smile and motioned with a wide sweep of his arm for them to head on into the wormhole. Sam and Teal'c went quietly through, but as Jack went to move forward, Daniel grabbed his arm in a firm grip. Jack shot him a questioning look, but Daniel said nothing, calmly taking the radio out of Jack's hand.

"I'm sorry, general," Daniel spoke quietly into the radio, "but I'm going to have to borrow Jack for a while."

"Dr. Jackson, explain yourself!"

"Jack and I need to have a little talk. We'll dial back in an hour or two."

"You are on dangerous ground, Dr. Jackson."

"I know, sir," Daniel replied without inflection. "This cannot be avoided."

With that, Daniel disengaged the wormhole using the DHD, something Jack didn't know you could do, but was too distracted to ask about.

"Danny…why'd ya do that?" Jack inquired.

Daniel did not reply, just motioned for Jack to start back towards the temple. He frowned in annoyance when Jack didn't move at all.

"What are you doing, Daniel?"

Jack couldn't have looked more surprised when the archeologist pushed him roughly in the direction he was meant to go, making it clear they would be going back through the Gate only when Daniel allowed it.

"Hey!" Jack snapped in alarm. "Take it easy!"

"We're going back to the temple, Jack," Daniel commanded with an authority he rarely showed. "And then we're going to work out everything that could cause problems between us in the future. Only then shall we return to the world of men. Here we are ghosts and no one shall ever know what has transpired on this vacant world."

The colonel glared back at the System Lord turned archeologist. "You are really starting to creep me out."

"Good."

Jack never thought he would see Daniel's eyes be so cold and distant. The gentle man he knew was some other where for the time being. He was in the company of the System Lord, and that, in itself, was not a reassuring realization.

"Come, Colonel O'Neill," Daniel spoke assuming Anubis's haughty air as he lead the way back to the temple.

This little show was really starting to piss Jack off. Daniel knew it too.

By the time they did reach the temple, Jack's patience was beyond his normal limit and the tight rein he was holding on his emotions was about to snap. The room they ended up in was behind Daniel's main throne room. It was vast and empty, the perfect place for a fight.

Daniel strode to the center of the room, then spun around. If he had been wearing his cloak, he would have had a nice dramatic flare of ebony fabric.

"O'Neill," he called, commanding Jack's wavering attention. "Come."

"You can cut the crap now, Daniel," Jack ground out. "I get the picture. Big Bad you and all that."

"Do it, Jack," Daniel murmured, his vice barely audible in the hollow room.

Dark eyes narrowed in caution. "Do what?"

Daniel merely smiled. "What you have wanted to do on numerous occasions since the first day we met. Hit me."

"I'm not going to hit you, Da…"

He was not expecting the blow. Wasn't expecting the underhandedness of the entire situation. Daniel had moved without warning. Without even being in a position to inflict damage. Jack staggered back with one hand raised to his throbbing jaw.

"Son of a bitch!" Jack hissed. "What was that for?"

Daniel stood before him, perfectly still. His body was completely relaxed. There was no indication of offense or defense. His position was neutral. He didn't even look as if he were ready for a fight. This, perhaps, was a testament to how dangerous Daniel really was. There was a smirk on his lips. Blue eyes gazed up at the colonel with a measure of satisfaction and sinister cunning. Yet another set of emotions Jack had never thought he'd see on the face of one who seemed so innocent at first, second, and even one hundredth glance.

Come on, Jack, Daniel urged silently. He wanted nothing more than for this little show to be unnecessary, but he knew that wasn't the case. He could not afford future mistakes made because he and Jack had never worked out their differences. He needed Jack's trust. He needed his respect. He did not know how to acquire such things after his blunder of cosmic proportions. He was flailing around in the dark for a solution and this was the only one he had come up with.

"Come on, Jack," Daniel growled out. "Hit me. You want to. You always have. You hate me. I know you do!"

"Stop it, Daniel." The scowl on Jack's face was gradually turning to anger. Daniel had always known what buttons to push.

Daniel lunged forward again, throwing his fist towards Jack's face. The colonel ducked quickly, backing away from the advancing man. Another punch was thrown and Jack batted it aside, grabbing Daniel's arm as he did so. Daniel merely pulled the arm back, causing Jack to stumble. He hooked one foot around the man's leg and sent Jack falling to the ground with a painful thud. He knelt down, one knee digging into Jack's chest, his face lowered so that he could stare into those startled brown eyes.

"All these years you never once realized what I was doing to all of you. I played you all to my own whims," Daniel spat.

And Jack has finally had enough. The discontent that had been building for days finally broke. Anger is always blind when it comes to friends. It doesn't matter why actions are taken if they anger someone to the point of not caring for the greater impact of those actions.

"You used us!" O'Neil cried angrily, swinging his fist towards Daniel's unprotected face.

"I had to!" Daniel yelled back, one hand snaking up with impossible speed to latch onto Jack's clenched fist. He twisted Jack's arm back, rising for a moment to turn the man onto his stomach before he pressed his knees painfully into the man's back, his arm still wrenched back in Daniel's iron grip. "And fools of humans, you allowed it!"

He released Jack as quickly as he had pinned him, watching the man rise from the ground with a painful grimace. Jack turned and advanced on the human Goa'uld once again.

"You're a snakehead!"

"I am a god!" Daniel nearly screamed, pushing Jack roughly back with both hands. His strength sent Jack falling right back to the ground. Daniel stood over him, his face a mask of loathing. "All of you should be at my feet and look at me now! I have no servants. My presence is neither known nor worshipped anywhere on that miserable planet."

"That's your own damn fault."

Daniel growled, his expression darkening. He looked vicious like that, a true lord.

"Without me you would be nothing! The Gate would never have been opened. Or, when it was, you would be dead right now because of your own idiocy."

Jack heaved himself off the ground again. Keeping his distance from the ranting man. He didn't think his back could take another fall like that so soon.

"If the Gate had never been opened you would have broken your little toy and the System Lords would have gone against you in time."

Daniel shook his head emphatically, denying the point.

"The device can be fixed with time. I have done it many times over."

"You would have failed eventually."

If glared could kill, Jack would have been dead ten times over from the chilling look Daniel sent his way.

"It's easy to say what might have been after the fact. It's easy to find someone to blame when you have already faced the outcome!" Fury can sometimes take control. "Say it, Jack! Just say it!"

"I hate you!" he screamed.

"I love you..." was Daniel's heart wrenching sob.

Jack just stared at him for a long moment. Both of them were emotionally and physically exhausted, gasping for breath. They were both broken, hollow men, finite in that instant.

"Oh, Danny," Jack whispered.

The youthful man gave him a trembling smile. "You are like a brother to me, Jack. You've taken care of me over the years. You've shown me how to live again. I don't want to lose you because of this. You are the only family I have ever had. Even when you were ignoring me, you still took care of me. Even when you all pushed me so far away, I wanted to cling to what I knew I had with all of you, even though you might not have felt the same way. When it really mattered…you were there."

"Come here, Daniel," Jack commanded quietly.

Before he knew it, Daniel was swept up into another hug. The fates must have been being generous, two hugs in one day. Daniel simply melted in the embrace. When Jack finally released him, they sat down together side by side against one wall, gazing out into the empty room.

"Do you forgive me?" Daniel whispered.

"I forgive you."

Daniel smiled. "The hardest thing in my life has been having to be someone I'm not. But, the funny thing is, I have been acting this way for so long that this is who I am now. I am not who I used to be. I am no longer the great System Lord, though I can still act the part. I no longer feel as though I am that person. It is too ironic to even comprehend. The mask of lies has become my true face, you could say."

"Is Daniel even your name?" Jack inquired. He was honestly curious about it. There was no resentment in the words.

"No," Daniel said, shaking his head. "Daniel Jackson was a real child with real parents. I saw the accident at the museum. I used it to my advantage. The real Daniel Jackson died when the cover stone fell. I tried to get them out of the way, but I wasn't quick enough."

"Why were you there?"

"It is a piece of my past, of my home. I wanted to see it again, even if it was only in a museum."

"What's your real name?"

Daniel paused, his expression quickly becoming somber. "I can't remember my name," he replied slowly, as if trying to get the words out without showing too much emotion. The pain showed in his eyes. "I have tried to remember it, but I cannot. It has been too long and there are too many memories. I was called that name for but twenty years. I was called Anubis for far longer. After Anubis died, I tried to ask some of the priests in the temple what my name had been. They would not tell me. They said that such things were not the worries of gods and that the body I now possess was insignificant as a human and served me far better than it had served its previous owner. They told me that I had not been worth the name I had been given and that they would gladly have taken it away from me at my death so that I would not have defiled the Valley of Reeds with my presence."

Jack scowled. That was a terrible thing to say to another. If they were alive, he would have given them a piece of his mind. They deserved what ever they got. Which brought up another question.

"What did you do to them?"

"I slaughtered the high priests. Ra found it amusing that they had managed to anger me to such an extent. He asked how they had offended me. I told him that they had merely existed."

"I'm sure that made Ra happy."

"Oh it did. We had a celebration that night. He was also amused about the deaths of the scientists. He was impressed with me. I was being the true god of death I was meant to be. I told him that the scientists had finished their work and that I was new and improved, which I was. I showed him a sample of my power and he was much impressed. I was his favored above all others. Even after I took my place among the System Lords, Ra was still inclined to want of my presence. How I hated him."

They sat in silence for a long time. The world outside was darkening, the sun slowly dipping below the horizon. A silver room cast ghostly light across the land as it fell into the dark.

"What's this planet called, anyway?" Jack wanted to know.

Daniel smiled. "I named it Destati. It means 'awaken' in Italian."

"It suits you."

"More than it should, I think," Daniel admitted with a chuckle. "I am neither Anubis nor the boy who he took over. The distinction between the two has blurred and who I am is what they become. I have awakened, you could say. This is who I am now. This is how I want to be. I do not want to be the System Lord Anubis. I do not want to be that Egyptian boy who was sold to monsters. I want to be Daniel."

"You are Daniel," Jack said quietly.

"Good." He pursed his lips, blinking back phantom tears. "Help me stay that way?"

"Anything, anything for you. Me and Carter and Teal'c, we'll help you. We won't let you destroy the world."

Daniel gave a hoarse laugh. "Destroy the world? I could do that."

"Well don't," Jack snapped.

Daniel merely shook his head, giving Jack a sad, half smile. "Never, not Earth. That is a world that has too much meaning. It is the birthplace of the naming of the gods. What else can one do but live with it?"

"Now that's the spirit," Jack exclaimed, clapping his friend on the shoulder. He stood up, groaning as he straightened out his knees. Then he turned, offering Daniel a hand up. "Let's go home."

Daniel smiled and took his hand, allowing Jack to pull him to his feet.

"Yeah, let's go home."

….

"You know, you really kicked my ass."

"I know."

"You're still a geek."

"Jack, don't be an ass…"