YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. NOT EVEN A WEEK MOFO'S. this had my first 'fight' scene. I call it a skirmish. not a battle. battles are epic fights that are long and awesome. so far I only have one battle planned and that's at the chunnin exams. its not against gara. far from it. it will be an epic fight between Luke and a black knight. so look forward to that. its probably going to take a few months for me to get to that though. so hold onto your buts.
I don't own anything besides this story and my OC's. now if I did own this shit Naruto would not be a fuckin idiot. and their would be a lot more female badassery in the show/manga.
Team 7!
Slam the alarm, throw off the covers, throw Naruto out of the shower, take a shower, take 5 minutes for a piss, get out of bathroom, accidently flash your junk to Athena, grab the boxers, put on the silver pants made of silk with metal lined in, put on belt that when it connected in the front both ends went diagonally downward in perpendicularly to make an X, put on the shirt with the silver X on the center, put on black jacket, put on black and silver gauntlets, put on boots, tie the headband around your arm strap on shuriken and kunai holsters, and finally brush hair so its blocking the right eye, then tie the hair in a ponytail that came down in a ponytail down to your backside. (kinda like future!rouge.)
For Athena it was different, fail to wake Luke up before he could smash his alarm clock, shower, put on light green T-shirt with the pokeball symbol on the center, put on white trench coat with the mega stone symbol on the back, style the short green hair so its covering the eye opposite of Luke, put on white shorts, strap the katana to your left hip, but on the gallade-blade extender gauntlets, tie the konoha headband around the waist, get accidently flashed by Luke, put on the ninja sandals, make breakfast for the two boys and herself and all the other 15 Pokémon. At least she had Manaphy and lopunny to help her out with that.
And for Naruto: get woken up by Athena, take a poop, then a shower, get thrown out of said shower halfway through it, dry off with Luke's covers just to spite him, put in the fox-themed boxers he loved oh-so-much, put a on a blue shirt with the uzamaki spiral on the center, put on his favorite black and orange jumpsuit with a nine-tailed fox on the back that had two of the tails go ever the shoulders and down to where the zippers began, put on a pair of blue pants, black ninja sandals, tied on his kunai and shuriken holsters, and pocketed his trench knives, and finally tied his headband to his head before he went to grab his breakfast.
After Luke came down and downed his bacon and pancakes he turned to the gathered human and Pokémon at the table, and they in turn looked at him. At once they all nodded and 12 puffs of smoke later, all that were left were the three masters, a Vulpix which jumped into the opening in Naruto's jumpsuit (much like Akamaru and Kiba), the Fletchinder went to rest on Luke's shoulder, and the Spiritomb went into the seal inscribed onto Athena.
And without a word, the three fourteen year olds and their familiars all left the apartment building.
Never even once noticing the silver haired jonin that had watched from outside the window.
Not even once.
Iruka had to hold in a chuckle at the scene before him. For one Hinata hyuga was trying very hard not to be seen reading a certain little orange book, Akamaru was having a stare-off with Naruto's Vulpix that honestly looked like it couldn't give to shits about the ninja dog, Ino Yamanaka was nagging the Uzamaki-Namikaze about her kill-me yellow jumpsuit, at least her brother has a fashion sense, seriously that black and orange fox jumpsuit is cool, Sakura Haruno was trying to get the Uchiha to at least say something besides 'Hn', Shino was just kinda in his own little corner, and finally: Athena Pantheon, Luke Unova, Naruto Uzamaki, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akamitchi, and Kiba Inuzuka were all asleep side by side in a two by six formation.
And that was the whole class. The rest had dropped out and quit the ninja program.
Twelve students in all. Quality over quantity was the yondaime's moto. And Iruka had high hopes or this class. This class knew what they were getting into. And damned if Iruka wasn't proud of them for going not just all the way, but going the distance. The only one that he worried for was the uchiha and that was because most of his clan was wiped out. Only his mother, eight other adults, and the children of the clan were left.
Tragic.
Not that Iruka cared.
Them traitors had it coming.
Iruka gave itachi uchiha a five-fingered salute.
"Attention class!" he shouted. And now he had the attention of all twelve ninja hopefuls present. Even the six that were asleep were now paying attention. Or at least trying to.
"It's been my honor to teach you. But now you're going to be thrust out into the world, against other shinobi that will try to kill you in horrible and terrifying ways that would make even battle hardened veterans flinch." No one batted an eye at that. They had accepted their fate a long time ago. "You each will be put in a squad of three and assigned a jonin sensei."
Again, no one so much as changed their expression. They had expected this. Good.
"Because teams one through six as well as nine are still in circulation we will begin with team 7. Which will be Luke Unova, Athena Pantheon, and Naruto Uzamaki. The rookie of the year, kunoichi of the year and the dobe. It's a tradition, but then again you three planed that right?"
Again no change. Honestly either everyone already knew that or he was stuck in an illusion. Eh, he's still doing his job. "Well your sensei is Hatake Kakashi so go ahead and whip out cards against humanity if you want." He then looked back at the list.
"Team eight will be Hinata hyuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka, a reconnaissance and hunter nin unit."
The three members of team eight each looked at each other, as if assessing their teammates for any weaknesses and flaws before turning back to the instructor.
"Your sensei will be Yuhi Kurenei. A genjutsu specialist, so be sure to double check your surroundings."
The three fourteen year olds nodded their heads in response. Good, he would heed his advice.
"Team ten, Nara Shikamaru, Choji Akamitchi, and Ino Yamanaka, the ino-shika-cho trio, as well as an interrogation, capture, and assassination unit. You're in good hands with your sensei, Asuma Sarutobi."
And finally, he got to the last squad, and the one that would have two of the most politically important people in the classroom.
"Team eleven: Sakura Haruno, Aiko Uzamaki-Namikaze, and Sasuke Uchiha. You will be an assault and destruction squad. Have fun blowing shit up."
The reactions were different among the members of team eleven. For one Sakura looked nervous to be teamed with two of the most politically important gennin, Aiko looked sad that she wasn't part of her precious 'onii-chan's' team. And Sasuke just looked satisfied that he had at least one teammate that was powerful.
To clarify, Naruto does not consider himself part of the Uzamaki-Namikaze family. Naruto may forgive, but he does not forget. He was abandoned by that family, so he considers them strangers trying to adopt him. Strangers that invite him and his roommates over to dinner. A lot.
"Oh and your jonin sensei will be the yondaime's wife. So have fun with a women more eccentric than Anko Mitarashi."
And with that Iruka left in a puff of smoke. A shadow clone.
And then the sensei's came to pick up the teams. The first was Uzamaki Kushina, being the hyperactive mother she arrived first. The only noteworthy thing that happened was that as she left her desk, Aiko bumped into Naruto's hand, it was after she touched his hand she felt a burning sensation located around her stomach for a split second.
Figuring it as something she ate she never told her mother about it. All the while Kurama laughed from inside the seal as he was finally reunited with his chakra and began to reverse the assimilation process of his chakra into the Namikaze-Uzamaki's system. Finally reclaiming what was rightfully his.
All the while Naruto smirked as he got his end of the bargain, the two tails worth of Kyubi chakra that Kurama had gathered over the years. And now that Kurama was inside his former sister she would have to gain Kurama's approval to use his chakra. No one should be given power for free. You have to work for that shit. One of the many reasons he outright hated the sharingan. Copy-cat pink-eye bastards!
As she was leaving with her squad Kushina gave Naruto a smile that he returned, former family or not her cooking was bloody delicious.
After Kushina left the jonin sensei of team eight and team ten arrived. A raven-haired, red eyed beauty and a chain smoker respectively.
After the two other teams left, that left team 7 to their own devises. And by devises I mean cards against humanity. The winner one by group vote.
30 minutes later…
Black card: What did the U.S government drop on the children of Afghanistan?"
Athena: Bill Nye the science guy.
Naruto: BATMAN
Luke: a thermonuclear explosion
Winner: Luke
30 minutes (time elapsed: one hour)
Black card: why am I sticky?
Athena: overpowering my father.
Naruto: the shodaime hokage, naked, on a bear skin rug, with a saxophone.
Luke: the care-bear stare.
Winner: Athena.
Another 30 minutes later. (time elapsed: 1 hour and 30 minutes.) by now the familiars had all left to the Pokémon summon realm.
Black card: before we had _, we had _.
Athena: Sarah pallin/ Sarah fuckin pallin.
Naruto: my collection of high-tech sex toys/a vagina that led to another dimension.
Luke: a windmill full of corpses/panty raids.
Iruka: converting homeless people to mobile hotspots/stranger danger.
Winner: Iruka.
It would be around the 2 hour mark that Kakashi Hatake would open the door and see his gennin squad and the Chunnin instructor Iruka all playing a game that had questionable content. Felling the phantom pains that that one women caused on that faithful day Kakashi made his presence known.
"Team seven; meet me at the rooftop in five."
Of course what kakashi wasn't expecting was for the one he had the highest hopes for, if his rookie of the year status was anything to go by, to follow his example and arrive ten minutes late. And exactly ten minutes late. Kakashi knew it was ten minutes. He timed it.
As he leaned against the railing of the academy rooftop Kakashi began to analyze his three gennin that he may or may not fail.
Ladies first, Athena Pantheon: no ninja family background. Was an orphan that lived at the orphanage until she was kicked out alongside Naruto Uzumaki and Luke Unova. Smart, stern, psychic abilities, and if the katana and strange gauntlets was anything to go by, a swordswomen. There's more to her than that. There always is.
Luke Unova: quite, sarcastic, and has a reputation of being very forward in his displeasure. A practical master of hyoton so much to the point he has incorporated it into his taijutsu. And is very skilled with different weapon forms. And a jinchuriki if that strange yellow and light blue triangle formation on his stomach is anything to go by.
And finally his sensei's estranged son, Naruto Uzumaki: loud, rude, and the worst prankster that the village hidden in the leaves has ever had. A practical sage in the arts of stealth judging by the fact that he snuck into Anbu headquarters eight times in five years, defaced the hokage monument yearly, and even snuck into his sensei's home JUST to switch out a Christmas tree. He also had Nindaime levels of water manipulation, to the point where he could pull water out of the air. And he may or may not have gained something from the kyubi. I'll need to keep an eye out for anything.
He was about to berate Luke for coming in late, but realizing that would have been hypocritical of him. So he decided to get the introductions over and done with.
"Well seeing as we're all here. My name is Kakashi, I don't like or dislike many things, I don't really care to tell you my hobbies, and my dreams…well how about you three? Ladies first" he then gave a very lazy wave towards Athena.
"My name you already know, I like giving people nightmares, I dislike you, my hobby…the human mind is a really fragile thing did you know? And for my dreams? The world is a very large place, shame it is that we're stuck here isn't it?" she spoke the entire thing quite casually, as if she didn't just tell her potential jonin sensei a confession that she fucked with people's minds.
Kakashi made a mental note to stop by Inoichi's and ask for help with mental barriers. He then motioned for Luke, who was seated between his two teammates, to speak.
"My name you should know, I like performing bodily harm to those I deem unfit to exist, I dislike the yondaime, my hobby is…ice sculpting." At that everyone turned to face him. "What? We gotta make money somehow!"
Naruto just rubbed the back of his head "I thought we just stole everything we need. Didn't realize you made money on the side."
"Fuck you! And my dream is to be a master."
The hidden land? Sounds like something from a mythology book. Might need to take a trip to the library later.
And finally we come to Naruto.
"Names Naruto Uzumaki, I like Ramen, Hinata-chan, my partners, and breaking that one guys legs! I dislike people who abandon children, late teachers, and dogs because foxes are so much better! And my dream is to go out and see the hidden land! Oh, and Luke can go to hell."
The hidden land? Sounds like something from a mythology book. Might need to take a trip to the library later. Anyway moving onto what I've learned so far…
…I have a psychopath, an ice-sculpting menace to society, and sensei's son who I have observed being involved in criminal activities. Again, why did I agree to this?
"Well that was a…colorful introduction. Meet me at training ground seven for your gennin test in about two hours."
And with that, Kakashi Hatake disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Looking at each other the group of three all went over to training ground seven to put down a shitton of traps.
(AN: ON THE WEIGHT SCALE IT GOES FROM A TON, TO A CRAPTON, TO A SHITTON.)
"Sensei, the three of them are sociopaths!"
"Do you want to do a youthful S-ranked mission with guy?"
"Never mind I'll see if they can pass."
"Good boy"
Kakashi found the three of them two hours later in training ground seven. He of course took it upon himself to recon the area, and much to his surprise, found traps. Well-designed traps, even gravity trap seals, pressure plate explosive notes, napalm tripwire (homemade), Burmese tiger traps, and other oh so lovely little things that could dismember and or eviscerate the silver haired jonin.
Sitting in the trees was, to Kakashi's approval, Luke. Who had created an ice puppet and was controlling it via chakra strings. He had it motioned so that it was leaning against the middle wooden post on front of the memorial.
Using his sharingan eye, Kakashi found out that the Naruto that was drawing in the dirt was a water clone. Problem was he couldn't find the original. Well he is a stealth expert that has humiliated Anbu and myself numerous times.
Athena was sitting on the post to the left of Luke. She was the real Athena, no puppet or fakes. She was polishing her blade. Judging by how they said that he should already know their names, Kakashi could guess that they did their research and were most likely expecting the bell test. As was team seven tradition.
And they had planned for this. He was essentially walking in on home territory with the way they had prepared the training ground. Add the fact that only one of them was really waiting for him, and it was like he was doing an A-ranked mission with faulty information.
Nothing he hadn't done before.
These three were serious. So he decided to be as forward as possible.
Appearing in a swirl of leaves, Kakashi Hatake was now standing a little ways away from the three training posts. Athena, the water clone, and the ice puppet all stood at attention.
Adopting an eye smile, Kakashi reached into his shuriken pouch and pulled out two silver bells.
"This is your objective. To pass, you must take one bell. The one who doesn't fails. Is that understood."
It was three simultaneous nods that answered him. He then went to the middle post and set up an alarm.
"Come at me with the intent to kill. And only begin when I say start. Understood?"
He then returned to his original position…and just stood there.
Silence reigned.
One minute…
Two minute…
Three minute…
Four minute…
And five minute…
3…
2…
1…
"Start!"
And with that, Athena immediately unsheathed her blade and made a beeline for Kakashi as the ice puppet began throwing shuriken at the copy nin. Said copy ninja caught the shuriken just as they were about to hit him with his fingers, sliding them up to the knuckle and using them as a makeshift brass knuckle to block the downward strike of Athena's katana.
As she was trying to put more pressure down on the empath, the silver-haired nin brought out a kunai and charged it with chakra to block the blade of water that was held by the hands of the water clone, who had flanked Kakashi. Now blocking an attack from two sides, Kakashi eased up on the resistance he was putting up and twisted his body, causing both of his assailants to tumble forward. Allowing Kakashi the chance to escape from the deadlock and make a leap into the air…
Only to have to pull up his kunai arm to deflect an ice fuma shuriken from cutting him up, and then twist around mid-air to roundhouse kick the Naruto water clone that had leaped up after him. The impact of the blow straight to the stomach was enough to dispel the clone.
Landing, a few feet away from the liquid remains of the water clone, Kakashi immediately jumped away to avoid the explosion caused by the trap he had just triggered. As he was mid-air, again he had to block another ice fuma shuriken with his chakra charged kunai, but this time he had to use the metal plating on his glove to block the vertical slash that almost bisected him, curtesy of Athena.
Again, he had to twist in midair to kick his assailant, except unlike the clone, Athena blocked his kick with her gauntlet, causing her to hold her katana with one hand. It was then that Kakashi felt something wet grab him by the waist and pull him back…towards the lake.
Eyes widening, Kakashi charged his hand with lightning chakra, the first stage in learning the chidori to be exact, and managed to sever the connection between the water tentacle holding him and the water source that was the lake.
Not letting Kakashi have any room to breathe, Luke made the ice puppet create a spear of ice, with the pointy end being shaped like a drill just as Athena began to be outlined by a violet energy, before she began to charge up a shadow ball.
Looking up, Kakashi barely had enough time to roll to the side to avoid being impaled by the lance, and then performed a sweep kick to knock him down, jump pass the puppet to avoid another water tentacle, and throw an explosive note at the ice puppet before it could get up, creating an explosion that destroyed the ice puppet, as well as making a distraction to cover his retreat into the trees as he dodged Athena's shadow ball.
Luke cursed as his ice puppet blew up before Athena appeared next to him.
"He's heading toward the area where we had Loundred set up the music seals."
"Is Naruto on his way over there?"
A nod "You and Naruto will charge at Kakashi with Naruto providing support while I wait for the perfect moment to grab the bells."
"That's as good a strategy as we'll get Athena. Alright but we gotta move or else we will lose him."
And like that the two of them began to head off to the music seals to cut Kakashi off and ambush him.
These kids aren't playing around. That was a sound strategy back there. Didn't expect Naruto to wait at the bottom of the lake and constantly try to drag me under. There was some good synchrosity between the girl and the hyoton kid.
As Kakashi leaped through the trees he was too late to notice the genjutsu covering the containment seal that activated the moment he passed through its 'sensory line'. This in turn alerted all three of them to the location of their test instructor. And just as Kakashi realized he had triggered something the entire area he was in became incased in a barrier.
Something like this was not taught at the academy. This was made by someone good enough in the art of Fuinjutsu that they could make trap barriers. The entire clearing that he was in was encased in a bubble. The worst par was that there was no place to hide.
Eyes snapping to his left, Kakashi saw a bunch of water shuriken coming his way, and was prepared to dodge until the water Shurikens suddenly elongated and became ice Shurikens, and then a were accelerated by a wind jutsu.
Not having enough time to simply jump away, Kakashi performed a substitution jutsu to escape, and it was sadly with the only log in the bubble. Appearing where the log originally was, he groaned upon seeing that he was still inside the bubble, and was now being treated to some really bad rap music.
Scratching his head on what the hell they were planning to do with rap music, he barely saw the water arrows speeding towards him, and missed getting impaled by an inch.
Jumping backwards to avoid the arrows he saw Luke running towards him as he the boy plucked a water arrow out of the air and freezed it to become a dagger. He then leaped into the air and attempted to stab Kakashi with the elongated ice dagger in the abdomen, but was blocked by an open palm strike, and then grabbed the boys other hand and swung him over his shoulders into the ground and immediately jumped away to avoid getting hit with a water arrow.
Mid-air Kakashi went through a few handsigns before blowing out a fireball towards Naruto, who created a water dome around himself to block the fireball. This in turn created a cloud of steam that Kakashi used to his advantage by using a DOTON jutsu to dig underground try to submerge Luke underground.
Big mistake.
The moment Kakashi's hands touch Luke's ankles his hands were frozen in ice. In his shock he was pulled upwards by Athena's psychic abilities. Just as she was about to grab the bells the alarm went off. Kakashi was about to say something but Naruto and Luke just plucked them right off his belt.
Seeing as how all three of them didn't really do anything wrong no one was tied up.
Sighing, Kakashi looked at the memorial, his back to the three gennin he tested. Who were each sitting on a post to themselves. With Luke in the middle, flanked by Athena to his right and Naruto to his left. Never before had he passed a team before. But this group…they already worked as a team. The amount of synch they had, the planning, and the parts they played in the skirmish they had with him. It was not a battle. It was in confrontations that Ninja battled and dueled. Not drive by's and tests. Those are skirmishes.
Athena, she was the one who set up all those seal traps. She has the brains and the calligraphy skills to be a journeyman level Fuinjutsu user. The one who planted the trap was Naruto if his pranking streak were anything to go. But it was Luke that spearheaded the whole thing. He's the planner. He's not as smart as a Nara, but he is still intelligent. And he had fire to lead the charge. They were right when they said that Luke was the leader of the three of them.
Sensei was going to be ecstatic at the fact that his son fought so well. Seriously, combining his water release with Luke's ice release to create a deadly combination. First Naruto gives shape with his water, then Luke gives is form with his ice abilities. Simple, yet effective. And then there is Athena…
An up-front support fighter. Borderline assault right there. She slipped between the charger, and the backup unit seamlessly in the first part of the skirmish. Add in a few genjutsus and she would be an amazing support.
Luke was obviously the taijutsu user of the bunch, if those ice weapons were anything to go by. Maybe he and that girl from guy's team could help each other out? At first he hanged back, but the moment he got in the fray he was relentless, using every opportunity he had at his disposal. If there's one thing a ninja needs its initiative. And Luke has it.
Naruto was the ninjutsu user of the bunch, hell he was the only one who used a ninjutsu throughout the whole thing. And the amount of skill in water release alone that was needed for those water tentacles and that water bow…he may be the one that Kakashi passes on his signature jutsu to…
After a while of going over their performance in the skirmish Kakashi spoke up. "a leaf for your thoughts?"
Silence reigned until Luke spoke up. "The bell test is a test designed to pit the team against itself in the hopes that the team would put aside their differences and work together. Correct?"
Kakashi never even turned around to face him. "Why, I wonder why you would ask that?"
"The moment we get these headbands we are given access to the gennin sections of the library." Spoke Athena.
"Correction, actual gennin greeney."
And then the blonde spoke up. "But the librarian doesn't know that does she? She simply asked who our jonin sensei was…"
And the gray haired lad picked up from where he stopped "…and you have been the tester for the previous team sevens. And you failed each and every one…"
And the greenet finished "…and Sarutobi Hiruzen is our surrogate grandfather."
Kakashi adopted an amused expression, not that they could see it. "so you managed to trick the librarian into believing that I had passed a gennin team, and you were able to get information on what the real purpose of the bell test was…how very ninja of you."
At that all three adopted a smile on their faces. And then Kakashi turned around.
"Deception, initiative, teamwork, and preparation. The four most important aspects of the ninja philosophy…and you three each possess them."
At then he turned around to the memorial. "Inscribed on this stone are the names of each and every Konoha ninja that has died in the line of duty. Each and every one of them are heroes, one in particular, Obito Uchiha, had a motto that I take to heart even today."
It was then that it seemed as if the air had dropped a few degrees in temperature as Kakashi turned around and looked at each and every one of them in the eye.
"Those that break the rules are nothing but the lowest of scum…"
All three flinched at the cold tone that he spoke in. it was like his voice was taking a knife to their spines.
"…but those that abandon their comrades are even lower than that."
Silence reigned as the wind blew through training ground seven. No one of them so much as twitched as Kakashi scanned each and every one of them with his eyes. Searching for anything, doubt, fear, hesitation, but he found none of it. His lone eye then softened as he took a relaxed stance.
"Every day you three will meet here at eight to train together for three hours, and then for the next two hours we will be going through teamwork exercises and chakra control exercises. And then we will either spend the rest of the day training, or take on a mission."
Once again he scanned all three of them for any hint of confusion, hesitation, or doubt. None where seen.
"If you are having trouble with anything in your training, come to me and I will see what I can do. Team seven, dismissed."
And with that, Kakashi Hatake disappeared in swirl of leaves. At this point, our three heroes got off from their seating posts and began to talk amongst each other.
It was Athena that broke the mold.
"Sooooooo…meet with everyone else at the barbeque place?"
"Meh."
"I was gonna say ramen but that works."
And with what was essentially a shrug, the three of them went to get barbeque while the jonin sensei of the graduate teams convened with the hokage.
Jonin sensei Asuma Sarutobi, Kurenei Yuhi, Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze, and strangely enough, Might Guy stood in front of the hokage Minato Namikaze as they waited for the arrival of the final Jonin Sensei, who also happens to be really hip', Kakashi Hatake.
"Seriously, can he arrive on time once, just once! I miss the old days of team Minato when he was always punctual." Ranted the blonde Hokage.
"yes, while my eternal rival is tremendously hip and cool, his attendance is something I fear I will always beat him at."
"Yeah well the porn-reading bastard has always been like that for a while. And me thinks he need to be put in shape."
"Why the hell is guy here?" asked the chain smoker.
"Why can't there be one guy, just one normal guy in the village that's nice and single?"
Asuma adopted a look of shock "what about me!?"
The raven-haired beauty just fixed him with an ice-cold glare. "Drop the sig, and then we'll talk."
"Hell no lady! Live by the smoke, die by the weed!"
Every adult fixed him with a deadpan 'wut' face.
"it is most smoking is a most youthful relaxant, it is unyouthful to be smoking a joint."
And then everyone else looked flabbergasted as Asuma got chewed out by guy. Simply because he used such hip language.
And then Kakashi strolled in with an eye smile. "Yo I dressed myself, what's up?"
The fourth hokage took a sip of his coffee before addressing his tardiest jonin. "Kakashi, where the hell were you?"
Said jonin began to rub his hands together "ah, but you see, I have a legit excuse this time!"
"what would this most youthful reason be my eternal rival?" said a certain fashion disaster as he gave Kakashi the 'nice guy' pose.
Ignoring the fact that Guy could reflect light off of his teeth while standing in the shadows Kakashi gave his reason "I was frozen today."
…
…
…
"Kakashi…the fuck?"
"Minato! Language!"
"Sorry honey!"
After about five minutes later the other jonin had gotten out of their stupor and began to report on the passing/failing of their teams.
"Team seven-pass."
Once again, everyone present fixed, besides Minato and Kushina, Kakashi with an incredulous stare. Kakashi, being himself, just feigned ignorance.
"What?"
"Even if I'm a new jonin I know your reputation Kakashi. How did they pass?"
Kakashi seemed to think on that for a few seconds, before answering with "because the ninja'd their way to success."
"Ha, that's a good one, I should use that one against pops sometime!"
"ahem."
Everyone present turned to face the hokage. "Now that Kakashi has stated the passing of his team, can we move on? The stack of paperwork is only growing bigger the more of my time is wasted."
And it was. Literally. Papers just popped out of thin air at the top of the pile for no reason whatsoever.
"Team eight passed. Hinata took to the role of leader quite soundly. And Kiba went along with her while Shino played devil's advocate to challenge Hinata's decisions. In the end they passed my test and managed to work together."
A nod from Minato later and Asuma speaked up. "It's like they were born ready. That or the teamwork of the Ino-Shika-Cho is genetic. They passed."
And then the yellow flash turned towards his wife.
"Dear merciful god they suck. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to team my mini-me with an emo and pinky?"
Minato began to scratch the back of his head while looking away, whistling, and taking a sip of his coffee. All at the same time.
"I mean, they only survived the beat down I gave them because our little girl rallied them. And I don't like the way the duck ass looks at Aiko. And don't get me started on how fast the fangirl was taken out. I mean they could have at least tried to play dead before they screamed…"
Yeah the reason Anko is like she is today is because of Kushina. And yes, I have gotten rid of her verbal tic. It was a bitch to type down so I got rid of it. I'm the writer I can do the shit.
"Honey, did they pass or not?"
"Hm? Oh they did. But just barely. I believe that I will be whipping them into shape for three months straight.
It was at this point that everyone else had different thoughts running through their heads.
Wonder if Shikamaru is up for a game of shogi? Seriously five games in a row and I didn't so much as put a dent in his concentration. I need to work on my tactician skills.-Asuma
Sensei always was a slavedriver. I kinda pity those kids she's teaching. Wonder if I should do the same to my team…actually, bad idea. We don't need Hinata to become another Anko.-Kurenei
Hmmm. I wonder what's for dinner? Maybe I will visit that most youthful ramen stand. It's not healthy, but it is a most youthful degree of quality.-guess who.
Yeesh am I glad I don't have to teach Kushina-nee-Chan's team. Their teamwork and connection with each other sounds downright horrible. Especially the uchiha. He sounds like a loose cannon. Imagine what he would do with my prized chidori…nothing good can come of that.-Kakashi
63…64…65…66…67..what did two just appear at the same time? Shit! Is that whats going to happen from now on!? Two papers at a time instead of one!? Damnit im not getting any sleep tonight at this rate!-Minato
"…and then used the 1000 thousand years of death on the pole shoved up the duck butt's ass. And by that point-"
"Honey I already saw it through the crystal ball. Now that everyone is done reporting, can you all get the hell out of my office? Except for you Kakashi. I need a more valid reason than the fact they Ninja'd their way into passing."
And with that everyone left the office except for Kakashi. And Kushina was still ranting on what happened during her test. Motor-mouth indeed.
When the door closed Minato put up the silencing seals immediately before fixing Kakashi with a glare that said 'no bullshit'.
"I saw the way you were rubbing your hands. What did you mean when you said that you were frozen today?"
Kakashi sighed as he did indeed rub his hands together. "It happened when I went underground to bury Luke up to his neck in the ground. It was just before my hands went to the surface that I caught him saying 'frozen skin'."
Minato took another of his coffee, noting that that was the last of it se he went over to his coffee machine as he continued to speak.
"So your saying that Luke managed to create a technique that creates a shit of ice on his skin, and that said skin can freeze anything that it touches?"
"Yes, but there is something else."
At this point Kakashi had moved over to the couch on the left wall of the room, opposite to the coffee machine and had taken out his copy of icha icha paradise. While Minato was now poring himself another mug of coffee. Said mug would be his sixth cup today.
"If you're talking about the sealing matrix on his stomach I can't help you with that."
"Just how different is that one from the normal Biju sealing methods?"
A page turned, and a sip taken.
"For one, the sealing method is one that is completely unrecognizable to me, Kushina, and Jiraiya."
"And the other?"
Minato was now seated on his office chair and began to sign papers.
"The sealing medium isn't ink. Its ice."
Kakashi closed his book and stood up.
"That should be impossible, but the proof is there. What do you want me to do about it?"
A denied stamp.
"Nothing. I just want you to observe."
And then he began to walk towards the door. "understood."
"oh and Kakashi…"
He opened the door.
"Yes, sensei?"
"…please take care of my son."
"…I will sensei. But not because he's your son. I will do it because he is my student."
And with that he closed the door. Leaving behind a smiling Minato. But that smile turned into a scowl as he gazed upon the towering stack of papers. Which for some reason, numbered in the 200's even though when it started it was only in the twenties. It also seemed to be leering at him.
Minato fixed the stack of papers with a glare. "come on chump, GET READY TO GET WRECKED!"
And then the stack of papers hissed. And the epic battle between pen and paper, man and business reports, kage and every daimyos person enemy began.
He really shouldn't have tried Sarutobi's weed.
SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY. AND CUE THE AIRHORNS.
BABABABWAAAAAAAAA