"Come on, we have to go…NOW!"
John looked up startled from his bowl of cereal and Rogue was in the middle of putting a piece of bacon into her mouth when Jubilee came barging over to where they having breakfast.
"Are you guys suddenly deaf? We have to go NOW! Before Logan finds me!"
"Jubilee, calm down. Here, sit. Have a piece of bacon." Rogue pushed her plate of eggs and bacon toward her clearly agitated friend.
"NO! No bacon! No waiting! We have to go!"
"Jubilee! What's going on?" Rogue tugged Jubilee down into a chair next to her. "Is everything okay with you and Logan?"
"Is everything okay?! Is everything okay?!" Jubilee was getting more and more hysterical by the minute. "The man is driving me fucking nuts!! He's getting back at me for aggravating him before all this shit hit the fan but fucking hell! I never put him through this kind of tortured crap!! Did you know that he made me get up in the middle of the night and drive to ten different grocery stores until I found the right brand of frozen yogurt? And when I came back, he didn't even eat it?! And then…and then!! he made me give him back massages and wash his filthy feet! And I'm pretty sure he buried his feet in Ms Munroe's compost pile beforehand too because I seriously was going to pass out from the fucking stench! And because I hid his cigars and booze, he had my caffeine supply cut off! Saying that I had to 'share in the experience'! What the fuck?! I have to experience this shit and I don't even get to have sex?! I mean if I'm going to tend to this moronic half-assed pregnant toolbag and give up my coffee and soda and, oh my God, my large caramel Frappuccinos, I want to have at least one night of mind-blowing sex too!!"
Jubilee was completely unaware her rather loud outburst had silenced everybody in the dining hall – she was too busy taking quick nervous glances at the entryway, making sure Logan didn't appear there, her left leg shaking uncontrollably up and down as she bit at her fingernails.
Jubilee had calmed down tremendously once the mansion was out of sight.
She was going back to her natural surroundings – like an animal being released back into the wild. She was going back to…the mall.
First stop was Starbucks, of course – Jubilee salivated at the sight of her Frappuccino. After Jubilee was sufficiently satisfied with her level of caffeine, they headed over to their main destination.
John, Rogue, Jubilee (who was making loud slurping noises as she sucked on her second cup of Frappuccino), Kitty, Peter, Pietro, and Wanda stood in awe at the entrance to Baby Empire – the store's motto being 'If You Can't Find Everything for Your Baby Here, You Don't Need It.'
"Um…okay, Dr Grey gave me a list of things we should register you for," Kitty said, pulling the list out of her totebag. "Why don't we split up? We can got a lot more done that way and we won't bicker over who gets to test drive the strollers." Kitty ripped the paper into sections, handing them out to each person.
"No! No splitting up! No getting done faster! I don't want to go back to Logan's stinkin' feet!" Jubilee complained.
"Jubilee, calm down. I just said we would get through the list faster, I didn't say anything about leaving the mall itself. I want to find some dangly earrings for this new top I bought…oh my God, Jubes, it's so cute! It has this pink design…" Kitty stopped herself when she realized that she had been dangerously veering off the real reason they were even at the mall. "But anyways…that's all for afterwards… Um…so yeah, we'll split up. Each of us will go over a section of the store and scan in what we find for the baby registry. And, boys…and Jubilee…" Kitty looked at her friend pointedly. "…the scan guns are for the registry, they're not toys. So please don't go around trying to blast each other with them. Okay, it's go time, people! Let's move! Move!"
John was trying to figure out which blanket was better – the fleece or the cotton, maybe the knitted one with the Winnie the Pooh design, or the one with little elephants and giraffes, or…
"Trying to figure out which one the kid would like, huh?"
John was startled out of his thoughts for a moment. He looked up and found a middle-aged couple – the woman clearly pregnant – staring at him with amusement. They looked like they stepped out of a Christian book catalog. The woman was wearing a long shapeless dress with prim ruffles around her neck while the man wore a striped cardigan with khakis. John wondered briefly if they came over to talk to him about God and how He might save his soul.
"What?"
"I would go with the one with the little animals on them. That's what we bought and we just know our little princess is going to love it!" the woman said enthusiastically. "Are you expecting too?"
John shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Um…not me, my girlfriend."
The couple let a gasp of surprise but recovered quickly, only to laugh uncontrollably at John's comment. "Oh, he's a joker, dear."
"Oh, yes, he is, honey," the woman said, smiling widely at her husband. She turned her attention back to John who just wanted to get away and as quickly as possible. "I guess I meant to say is how far along is your girlfriend?"
"Um…she's seven and a half months now…"
"Oh, how precious!" John thought it was more than a little weird that two complete strangers were so extremely excited about someone else's pregnancy. "So do you know what you're having?"
"Uh…we don't know…"
"So you're going to be surprised at the delivery? How precious! Isn't it precious, honey?"
"Completely precious, dear," the man nodded. "Well, we found out as soon as possible. Then we planned the room accordingly, didn't we, dear?"
"Pink and purple…just what every girl's bedroom should be painted! It's so precious!" the woman gleefully shared. John felt like he was going to throw up if they said 'precious' one more time. "Oh, honey, we should tell him about what we learned at the baby seminar."
"Of course! Of course! Everyone needs to a little helpful tip now and then, right?" The man winked at John in a playful manner. "Well, let's see… Baby proofing your house is key. You should check all the batteries in your smoke alarms and definitely the carbon monoxide detectors. Electrical outlets need to be covered. You shouldn't leave stuffed toys and fluffy blankets in the crib overnight either. They're choking hazards."
"Don't forget about the blinds, honey. Those blind strings could cause strangulation."
"Right…right… All your baby clothes should be either velcro or snap-ons. A baby could tear off a button and choke on that too. And zippers are a definite no-no. What else? What else? How far along did you say your girlfriend is?"
"Uh…seven and a half…"
"Right. Hmm…you should probably refrain from having sex now."
"What?!" John wasn't sure what shocked him more – hearing that he had to refrain from having sex or hearing the actual word 'sex' coming out of this man's mouth.
"At the seminar, they told us that, at the latest, you could safely have sex for the first five months and then after that, you might disturb the fetus. One of the lecturers told us a story that involved a couple who lost their baby because of how much sex they had."
"Absolutely horrifying!" the woman exclaimed, her hands resting over her belly protectively.
"Completely agree, dear. That's why we now sleep in separate beds. No temptation then. We need to do everything we can for the baby, right, son?" The man slapped John's back so hard, John took a couple of unintentional steps forward.
"Oh no, honey, it's almost noon! We're going to be late!"
"I guess we'll have to look at the baby mobiles some other time then." The man turned back to John, smiling brightly. "Well, it was nice talking to you. I hope everything works out for you and your girlfriend!"
The couple hurried off, leaving behind a flabbergasted and bewildered John behind.
"John… John… JOHN!"
He stopped what he was doing and looked at Rogue who was sitting on her side of the bed, watching him. "What?"
"Why do we need all these pillows?"
He just grunted a response, going back to what he was doing. He couldn't look at her…it was…what was the word they used?...temptation.
"Are you…are you building a wall? In the middle of the bed?"
Rogue didn't know what to make of this new situation. Ever since they got back from the baby store, it was like something had taken over his body. The moment they stepped back into their room, the first thing he did was check every single one of the electrical outlets. Then he went bezerk when he realized there was only one smoke alarm in their room and no carbon monoxide detector at all. He kept muttering 'no buttons, no choking' under his breath over and over again. And now this? This Berlin Wall of pillows in the middle of their bed?
"John? What's going on?" She put a hand over his, making him stop.
"Nothing…nothing… Um…listen, I think we should sleep…you know…separately until the baby comes. I think it would be safer that way."
"What are you talking about?"
"I met this couple at the store…they told me about some things…" John cleared his throat nervously, pulling away and rearranging the pillows. "I think…I think it would be better this way. You know…safer…"
"Safer? From what? And who was this couple you talked to? Why were they talking to you?"
"Rogue, please! I just…I just want the baby to be okay, all right?"
Rogue looked at him. He looked disturbed about something… "All right." She'll agree to go along with him…for now…
John woke in the middle of the night, feeling a warm breath at his neck. He looked down and saw that Rogue had somehow managed to roll herself over the pillows. She was right against him, an arm carelessly thrown across his chest. She looked like she was still asleep so as gently as he could, he pushed off from the bed, making sure not to disturb her. He managed to extricate himself from the tangle of bedsheets and limbs, grabbed a pillow and laid down on the floor.
He woke again when he heard her muttering about blue monsters and cookies. He was still on the floor but she was sleeping next to him again. She had managed to snuggle close, covering both of them with a blanket.
The first time, he thought it was a fluke – just an unconscious move on her part. But now? There was no way she had rolled off the bed, falling to the floor with the blanket, landing – what a coincidence! – right beside him. It was time for drastic measures.
He pried loose her fingers from his shirt and scooted back from her. He lifted her up and laid her back down on the bed. He grabbed the pillow from the floor before leaving the bedroom. He made his way toward the common room and plopped himself onto one of the larger couches.
It was the sunlight streaming in through the French doors that woke him this time. But that didn't mean he was alone.
He had to admit: the girl was persistent.
There she was again, curled up against him, one hand on his chest and the other resting on his hip. She was sleeping…or she was pretending to be.
"You know, for a girl in your condition, you shouldn't be moving around so much during the night."
He saw the corners of her mouth kick up then she slowly opened her eyes.
He sighed heavily. "You couldn't humor me for one night?"
"Nope."
"Rogue…"
"John, this is silly. Whatever those people said to you, they're wrong."
"I don't think they were wrong. They were right about a lot of other stuff – the smoke alarms and the carbon monoxide detectors and the choking hazards…"
"John…"
"Rogue…"
"We're starting this now?"
"Starting what?"
"The childish name calling."
"So what are you trying to say? You don't want to be called Rogue?"
"John…"
"No-name…"
"I'm trying to be serious here!" Rogue placed a finger on John's lips, shushing him quiet. "No, I get to say what I want to say first. I don't like it that a couple of strangers, however nice and sincere they might have been, suddenly made you feel this way. I like it when we're lying in bed and you put your hands on my stomach and the baby starts to kick. I like it when you sing 'Bootylicious' to the baby when you think I'm still sleeping. And I especially like it when I wake up next to you in the mornings and you're all warm and squishy."
John arched a brow. "Squishy?"
"Yeah…" Rogue grabbed at his sides, pulling him close. "Squishy…" She paused for a moment. "Can we re-think this sleeping rearrangement? Please?"
"I don't know… I was just getting used to the idea of not having to wake up with you hogging all the covers."
"John…"
He smirked and leaned in to kiss her silent.
A/N: I still need people voting for baby girl or baby boy Ryro. It's neck-and-neck so far…