Feliciano smiled as they climbed the stairs to Ludwig's room, Feliks was apparently running late and Ludwig said he wanted some time alone. Feli was almost giggling, his smiled splitting his face, he was so looking forward to meeting another transgender person, hearing first hand what it was and having himself validated.
He let out a small sigh as Ludwig opened the door to his room, it was massive, practically the whole roof space had been converted into his room.
"Wow it's lovely," he said, looking around the pale blue and cream room, bed linen that matched the curtains, it was so well decorated and not a thing was out of place.
His eyes were drawn to the only thing of real colour in the room, and immediately his smile drooped a little. A gay flag hung in the window, covering the top corner of the frosted glass.
He felt an odd sick feeling fill him, "You're gay?" he said weakly.
Ludwig looked up at him as he put some cushions down to use as seats, "Oh, yeah."
Feliciano felt his stomach tighten and his breath start to constrict, "Oh.. uh," he swallowed hard, "Ok."
"Are you ok?" Ludwig asked instantly, straightening himself up.
Feliciano felt a weight on him, he felt so dumb, god why had he kissed him? That was so stupid, he should have known he wouldn't really be interested. "I-I just thought… I thought we.." he felt his voice weaken, "Had something."
Ludwig smiled, "We do, Feli… What's wrong?"
"But you're, I mean... I'm," he gestured to himself.
Ludwig smirked, crossing his arms, "You're a man, aren't you Feli?" he asked softly.
Feliciano nodded, "S-si, I am, I mean, I…"
"You are a man," Ludwig confirmed, "And I do like you, very much." He took a step towards him, placing his hand on Feliciano's hip and giving his forehead a soft kiss, closing his eyes for a moment as he did so.
Feliciano blushed, letting out a weak giggle after a moment, "...I like you very much too Ludwig," he said quietly, smiling and looking up at him. After a moment he lifted himself up onto his toes, giving Ludwig a soft kiss on the lips, a soft hum leaving him as he felt Ludwig's other hand place on his hip.
He let out a soft exhale as he pulled away, "...What about before I was a guy?"
"I didn't really know you when you weren't a guy…" Ludwig smiled softly, "And really, you've always been a guy you just didn't know it."
"Yeah…" Feliciano nodded, "I like the sound of that better."
He let out another soft exhale as he felt Ludwig's hands leave his hips, the man moving across the room to gather some things, tidying up the already tidy room.
Feliciano made his way to the small group of cushions Ludwig had laid out, sitting on one of them and silently watching the German boy go about his business.
Usually he felt so nervous around people, anyone, even Elizabeth, he'd start talking and not be able to stop, but with Ludwig it was different, he didn't feel like he needed to fill the silence.
He remembered his grandfather telling him that people who talked all the time were withholding a lot of secrets. He must not have any secrets anymore.
He looked up as the door to the room opened, Gilbert poking his head in. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything you two, but Feliks is here."
Ludwig looked up from his desk, giving a small nod, "Ok Gil."
Gilbert's head retracted and the door, a blond haired boy walking in a few moments later, who Feliciano assumed to be Feliks.
"Hey," the boy cooed, walking up to Ludwig and squeezed him into a hug.
"Hey," Ludwig said in return, bearly returning the hug, "How are you?"
"I'm good," the boy cooed, spinning on the spot to see Feliciano, "You must be Feli."
Feliciano nodded, feeling himself shy away slightly, there was something about this guy that unnerved him a little. And Feli couldn't help noticing that he was wearing a skirt, an oddly short one, he could barely keep his eyes off it.
Feliks looked him up and down, taking off the cream backpack he'd been wearing. "I thought I'd take the liberty of bringing this," he pulled out a weird looking shirt thing, a bright smile on his face, "It's a binder, to hide your chest. It's my old one and I just haven't gotten around to throwing it out yet, I thought you might want it."
He watched as Feli took it, frowning softly, "A binder?" he asked under his breath. He'd looked binders up online but he'd not had the courage to buy one for himself.
"Go and try it on," Feliks urged, giving Feli's arm a nudge.
Feliciano looked over at Ludwig, his expression slightly vacant.
"Over there," Ludwig said, pointing to a screen in the corner, "You can change and we won't see you."
With a nod Feliciano made his way behind the screen, chewing his lip nervously as he pulled off his hoodie and tshirt, undoing his bra and staring at the binder, trying to figure out how to put it on, he bit his lip hard as he pulled it over his head and did up the velcro clasp.
His eyes widened as he looked over at his mirror, his mouth dropping open, "Mio Dio!" he almost yelled, his hand slapping to his mouth as his jaw dropped.
A small ring of laughter came from the other side of the screen.
"You like it?" Feliks' voice said, partially distorted by giggles. "It's good right?"
Feliciano nodded, forgetting that Feliks couldn't see, he couldn't will himself to speak. He pulled his shirt back on, continuing to stare at his chest in the mirror, it was like they were never there, it was amazing.
"Feli are you ok?" Ludwig asked softly from the other side of the room.
"Y-yeah," Feliciano mumbled, his voice cracking as tears came to his eyes.
He heard Feliks laugh softly, "Aw he's crying. Come out and show us Feliciano," he ordered.
Feliciano nodded to himself, taking another look in the mirror before pulling the screen back. He smiled widely, looking between Ludwig and Feliks, they stared back for a moment, looking Feliciano up and down.
Ludwig let out a small noise, a cross between a huff and a chuckle, shaking his head and holding his arms out slightly, "You look wonderful Feliciano," he said, smiling. He walked up to the smaller boy and took his hands, "You look wonderful."
Feliciano let out a small sob, looking down at himself, "I-I know," he chuckled, "I look so good," he patted his chest, "I can barely see them."
"Yeah I think Lud has a bigger chest than you now," Feliks said with a chuckle, getting up and walking to them, "You need to adjust yourself though." He pushed his hand down Feliciano's shirt to move the binder slightly, Feli let out a small breath, a slight discomfort leaving him that he hadn't realised had been there.
"Thanks," he said quietly, tugging softly at his shirt as the boy moved his hand away. He smiled softly, smoothing down his shirt, "I look really good don't I?" he giggled.
Feliks and Ludwig nodded, the German boy giving his hand a soft squeeze.
"Now we just have to do something about your face," Feliks said, Feliciano frowning instantly. Feliks chuckled, "I mean like contouring and stuff, you have a girly face, make up can fix that," he gestured to his own face, "See?"
"Makeup?" Feliciano said, a soft frown on his face.
Feliks chuckled, "Yeah, basically."
Feliciano bit his lip, "I don't know, that's kind of… I don't want to wear makeup or skirts or anything, I want to be a man, like an actual man."
He felt the air around him still. Ludwig cleared his throat, "Feli…" he said softly.
Feliks crossed his arms, frowning, "Do you have a problem with the way I dress..?" he asked softly, "That comment sounded kinda charged… You do know I'm an actual man, right?"
Feliciano took a small step back, stuttering slightly, "I-I just I uh… you're wearing a skirt and… well, I don't want to be rude…"
Feliks huffed and shook his head, "Wow… Lud you sure can pick 'em."
Ludwig frowned, "Feliks, he just… he doesn't get it yet ok? He didn't even know what transgender was until like three weeks ago."
Feliks smirked, "You always gotta be a fucking mother hen don't you Lug," he chuckled, "It's cute… But like, you've got to educate your new friends so they don't say anything stupid."
"I didn't mean to say anything stupid," Feliciano said quietly, crossing his arms, his face turning red.
Feliks scoffed, "Well you kinda did."
"Feliciano," Ludwig said calmly, reaching out to put his hand on Feli's arm, "Just because Feliks is wearing a skirt doesn't mean he's any less of a man, clothing doesn't have gender, if he wore a lobster costume that wouldn't make him a lobster."
Feliciano nodded, "Oh, ok," he looked over at Feliks, "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't upset you or something. This is just… it's kind of weird to me."
Feliks chuckled, "Well you better get used to it quick, if you think I'm strange you're going to be blown away by Lud's other friends."
Feliciano looked up at Ludwig, "What? You have other friends who are like this?"
Ludwig chuckled softly, "You'll see Feli. I promise you'll like them."
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