"Alright, pencils down. Please take your final exam to the back of the classroom."
I put my pen down. Finished. My exam is over. It was 4 days since I last saw Mr. Haddock, even at that days, my thought flies and keep coming back to the 'I don't do the girlfriend thing' quote, and I'm angry that I didn't pounce on this information sooner, when I was in his arms mentally begging him with every fiber of my being to kiss me. He'd said it there and then. He didn't want me as a girlfriend. I turn on to my side. Idly, I wonder if perhaps he's celibate? I close my eyes and begin to drift. Maybe he's saving himself. Well not for you.
"Feel good?" I look at where the voice came and saw Ruffnut in her Cheshire cat smile.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I force a smile at her, not letting her know what had happened after the coffee time last week.
This is it, the end of my academic career. I shall never have to sit in rows of anxious, isolated students again.
"We are so partying tonight!" she grins.
"Oh my gods."
We head back to our apartment together in her Mercedes, refusing to discuss our final paper. Ruff id more concerned about what she's going to wear to the bar this evening. I am busily fishing around in my purse for my keys then suddenly, she stands in front of me, cross arm and memorizing my face. She pulled me and ready all her really natural make-ups and still trying to make over me.
"This is way too much," I said, trying to get away from her but she put her hand on my head to not let me move.
"This is exactly the right amount," She confirms, trying to put that red lipstick on after she's done with that, what's that called? Ah yeah, foundation.
"All over my face."
"That's the idea." Ruff stop from adding lipstick on me and smiles widely.
I look at the mirror and, to my surprise, Red, too much red.
"Wow, no Ruff." I glare at her, do I really look like a clown to her?
"Cabs early? Let's go." She gets her back and go to the front door.
I took a paper tissue and take off the lipstick that she putted.
"Astrid, there's a package for you." Ruff is standing on the step up to the front door holding a brown paper parcel. Odd. I haven't ordered anything from Amazon recently. "Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me? Ladies know what to guard against because they read novels that tell them of these tricks." She added with a plain white card that catches her eyes.
"That's a book from Tess of the D'Urbervilles." I explains as Ruff handed me the parcel. I open the parcel, and inside I find a half leather box containing three seemingly identical old cloth-covered books in mint condition. I am stunned by the irony as I've just spent three hours writing about the novels of Thomas Hardy in my final examination. Perhaps there is no irony… perhaps it's deliberate. I inspect the books closely, three volumes of Tess of the D'Urbervilles.
"Oh my gods, this must be from Henry."
I open the front cover. Written in an old typeface on the front plate is: 'London: Jack R. Osgood, Mcllvaine and Co., 1891.'
"Ruff, I mean, this are incredible," I whisper.
"Wow, Haddock." Ruff's eyes are widen with disbelief.
"Ruff, this must be first edition. I can't, this is too much. I can't accept this; I have to send this back."
I have not let myself dwell on Henry Haddock for the past week. Okay… so his green eyes are still haunting my dreams, and I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and his wonderful fragrance from my brain. Why has he sent me this? He told me that I wasn't for him.
I repack the books and leave them on the dining table and get the wine left that we tried hours ago.
"That's the cab, okay, you ready?"
I shake my head then nod.
"Yes, yes, very."
I drink the wine and get ready.
"Good, let's go."
The bar is loud and hectic, full of soon to be graduates out to get trashed. Thuggory joins us. He won't graduate for another year, but he's in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all. As I down my fifth, I know this is not a good idea on top of all champagne.
"Ha, did you do it all?" Ruffnut shout at me over the noise.
I nod a little, tasting it inside my mouth.
"alright, with my eyes close and left hand, I'll be get to sip. One," Thuggory raises his drink, trying to be impressive.
"I got to pee." I said to Ruff.
"Two,"
"Okay." Ruff answered.
Ruffnut has the constitution of an ox. She's got her arm draped over Levi, one of our fellow English students. He only has eyes for Ruff. She's all tiny camisole, tight jeans, and high heels, hair piled high with tendrils hanging down softly around her face, her usual stunning self. Me, I'm more of a Converse and t-shirt kind of girl, but I'm wearing my most flattering jeans. I tried to stand out but Thuggory suddenly took my wrist. Whoa. Head spin. I have to grab the back of the chair. Tequila based cocktails are not a good idea.
"where you going?" Thuggory asks, still holding my wrist.
"Wai- I, I got to pee." I said.
As he took of his hold and look at me before going back his attention to Ruff and Levi.
I make my way to the powder room while I am on my feet. Of course, there's a line, but at least it's quiet and cool in the corridor. I reach for my cell phone to relieve the boredom of waiting in line. Hmm… Who did I last call? Was it Thuggory? Before that, a name that caught my eyes. Oh yes, Haddock, I think of deleting his number. But wait, I have a good plan, just one call, last time to hear his voice. I giggle. I have no idea what the time is, maybe I'll wake him. Perhaps he can tell me why he sent me those books and the cryptic message. If he wants me to stay away, he should leave me alone. I suppress a drunken grin and hit the automatic re-dial. He answered it.
"Astrid?" He's surprised to hear from me. Well, frankly, I'm surprised to ring him. Then my befuddled brain registers… how does he know it's me?
"Yep, this is me. I'm sending back your expensive books cause I have copies of those, thanks though… for the kind gesture."
"Your welcome. Where are you?"
"Oh, I'm in line because I have to pee ready bad,"
"Astrid, have you been in drinking?" his voice is filled with concern.
I giggle.
"Yeah, I have,"
"Listen, I want you to go home right now."
"You're so bossy; Astrid, let's go for a coffee, Astrid, let's go for a coffee." I mimic his voice on the last word I said. "No, stay away from me, Astrid. I don't want you, get away, come here, come here, go away." There- that told him, my courage fueled by alcohol.
"Tell me where you are." he sounds exasperated.
"I'm a long way from Seattle, long way from you." This conversation is not going how I expected.
"Which far? What's it called?" his tone is so, so dictatorial, his usual control freak. I imagine him as an old time movie director wearing jodhpurs, holding an old fashioned megaphone and a riding crop. The image makes me laugh out loud.
"I don't know, I gotta go though."
"Astr- "
I hang up. Ha! Though he didn't tell me about the books. I frown. Mission not accomplish. I am quite drunk- my head swims uncomfortably as I shuffle with the line. Well, the object of the exercise was to get drunk. I have succeeded. This is what it's like probably not an experience to be repeated. The line has moved, and it's now my turn.
"I told him, right?" I look at the girl next to me. Wait, did I just hit my head or something? All that happened just now process through my brain. Holy crap, did I just call Henry Haddock? Shit. My phone rings and it makes me jump. I yelp in surprise.
"I'm sorry, I- "I bleat timidly in to the phone. I hadn't reckoned on this.
"I'm coming to get you," he says and hangs up. Only Henry Horrendous Haddock III could sound so calm and so threatening at the same time.
"What?"
Holy crap. I pull my jeans up. My heart is thumping. Coming to get me? Oh no. I'm going to be sick… no… I'm fine. Hang on. He's just messing with my head. I didn't tell him where I was. He can't find me here. Besides, it will take him hours to get here from Seattle, and we'll be long gone by then. I wash my hand and check my face in the mirror. I look flushed and slightly unfocused. Hmm… tequila.
I make my way through the crowd again. I am beginning to feel nauseous, my head is spinning uncomfortably, and I'm a little unsteady on my feet. More unsteady than usual.
Drinking in the cool evening air in the parking lot makes me realize how drunk I am. My vision has been affected, and I'm really seeing double of everything like in old re-runs of Tom and Jerry Cartoons. I think I'm going to be sick. Why did I let myself get this messed up?
"Hey." I look for the voice and saw Thuggory, ready to give me his jacket.
"Thanks." I said, letting him put the jacket to me.
"You okay?"
I nod.
"yeah, just a little bit more… drunk." I smile weakly at him.
"Come here, stay warm," he then steps closer, putting his arms around me.
"Uh, it's cool, thanks anyway Thugs." I try and push him away rather feebly.
"I know that I don't have a courage to do this," he has one hand at the small of my back holding me against him, the other at my chin tipping back my head. Holy fuck… he's going to kiss me.
"Do what?" I tried to push him, but he's a wall of hard muscle, and I cannot shift him. His hand has slipped into the hair, and he's holding my head in place.
"Astrid," he whispers against my lips.
"No." I plead.
"I like you." He confesses.
"You do?"
"Very much."
"Oh my gods."
"Astrid, please, just one kiss," His breath is soft and smells too sweet of margarita and beer. I feel panicky, drunk, and out of control. The feeling is suffocating.
"no, no, no, no, no, no, Thugs, I don't think I- "I tried pushing him once more, turning my head on the other side. I don't want this. You are my friend, and I think I'm going to throw up.
"Dude, she said no." Someone push Thuggory to me. I look at that person.
"Henry?" Holy shit! Henry Haddock, he's here. How?
I glance anxiously up at Henry. He's glowering at Thuggory, and he's furious. My stomach heaves, and I double over, my body no longer able to tolerate the alcohol, and I vomit spectacularly on to the ground.
Haddock grabs my hair and pulls it out of the firing line.
"Don't look at me,"
"Here,"
He takes his hands off my hair and passes me a handkerchief. Only he would have a monogrammed, freshly laundered, linen handkerchief. CGT. I didn't know you could still buy these.
I vow silently that I'll never ever drink again. Vaguely I wonder what the T stands for as I wipe my mouth. I cannot bring myself to look at him. I'm swamped with shame, disgusted with myself. I want to be swallowed up by the azaleas in the flowerbed and be anywhere but here.
I didn't know where or when maybe Thuggory slicks off back into where we mark a place. I'm on my own with Haddock. Double crap.
"Nice touch, I will launder this item," I said, still don't know what I was thinking.
I just don't understand why he's here. I begin to feel faint. He notices my dizziness and grabs me before I fall and hoists me into his arms, holding me close to his chest like a child.
"Let's get you home," he murmurs.
"I'm with Ruffnut," Holy Thor, I'm in his arms again.
"Scott could tell her."
"Who's Scott?"
"He's my brother, he's inside talking to her right now."
"Uh, ha, I don't- "
"He was at the hotel with me."
"You're still at the Heathman?"
He nods.
"Yeah, come."
Still, why?
He holds my hand and leads me to the dance floor. I feel weak, still drunk, embarrassed, exhausted, mortified, and on some strange level absolutely off the scale thrilled. He's clutching my hand such in a confusing array of emotions. I'll need at least a week to process them all.
It's noisy, crowded, and the music has started so there is a large crowd on the dance floor. The moving lights are twisting and turning in time to the music casting strange colored light and shadows all over the bar and the clientele. Henry walk over and leave me in the side of the dance floor. There I saw Ruff and a guy that has his hands circling her. The music is pounding away, loud and leery, outside and inside my head. Ruff is still dancing her ass off, and she ever does that if she likes someone. Really like someone.
Henry lean over at that guy, who's maybe his brother, maybe telling him something. I saw his brother grins, and pulls Ruff into his arms, where she is more happy to be. Even in my inebriated state, I am shocked. She's only just met him. She nods at whatever Scott says and lean closer to Henry's ears. Henry look at me them walk over without keeping our eyes unlock.
"That's your brother?"
"Not by choice, let's go,"
"Wait, what did Ruff says?"
"She warn me to be on my best behave, more like threatening me." I giggle, suddenly, my thoughts crash through my brain, fighting the drunk, fuzzy feeling.
"My heads spinning, I think I'm gonna faint." My head begins to spin, oh no.
"What? Right now?"
And it was the last thing I heard him says before I pass out in Henry Horrendous Haddock III's arms.