- 2 -

"Down the Rabbit Hole"

I was sitting quietly on a private jet plane, my chin resting on my fist as I watched the clouds fly by. Two weeks had passed since I'd accidentally wandered into an IS compatibility match, and they'd been the strangest two weeks of my life.

Well, strange being relative. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, so weird things happened fairly often. You know: aliens, monsters, giant robots... That kind of stuff.

This was icing on the cake, though.

Apparently, I wasn't as free a person as I'd been told. When the officials had realized that I wasn't a girl, I'd been guided back into the pit and escorted to the local police station, from which I was transferred to the parliament building in Ottawa. The Prime Minister hadn't been the kindest to me, but I could understand that. After all, I wasn't dressed very nicely and I hadn't showered in days at that point. Apparently, France had offered them seven billion Euros for my custody, second only to Germany's offer of ten billion. I thought I was going to become a lab experiment. Probably, if I was lucky, locked in a room, on a stretcher, highly sedated for the rest of my life while doctors pulled me inside out.

That was when a very odd request came forward from someone in Japan. She'd offered absolutely nothing but her name and suddenly my ass was her property.

So, I was being shipped overseas like a freaking parcel.

Fzzz- "This is the captain speaking. We'll be descending into Tokyo in about five minutes, so strap in, kid." -fzzz

I really hadn't moved since the plane had taken off, so I didn't need to do up my seatbelt again. The plane landed and I was quickly corralled into a limo by a bunch of gigantic guys in black suits.

What am I, a lamb?

I sat down in the comfortable leather seat and came face-to-face with a techno bunny ear-wearing Alice in Wonderland lookalike. Only Japanese.

"Hidey-Hi!" she cried, flashing the peace sign, "I'm everyone's favourite superstar! Tabane Shinonono, at your service!"

My eyebrows furrowed. Was she for real?

"Why am I here?" I asked calmly as the engine started and the car drove off.

"No nonsense, I see. Well, then I suppose I should get right to it, Sten-san."

"Drop the -san."

"Okey dokey!" she said, before pulling out a laptop. She started tapping away at the keys at speeds that made my eyes widen. Seriously, it was like the computer was just a part of her hand. Eventually, she turned the screen around and on it was a diagram of a building. "This is the IS Academy!"

I nodded.

"You're gonna go to school there pretty soon, so I guess I should probably give you a bit of warning."

"What?" I asked, totally deadpan and more than a little horrified.

Before Tabane could continue, the car stopped moving. I would have asked what was going on if the door hadn't opened and a woman with long black hair tied back in a ponytail sat down beside me.

She tried to introduce herself, but:

"CHI-CHAAAAAAN!" Tabane lunged at her and tried her damnedest to give the new woman a hug.

This 'Chi-Chan' bonked Tabane in the forehead. "Act your age, Tabane," she scolded half-heartedly, as if she'd been saying that for years, before turning to me. "Sten Murdoch?"

"Yeah. Who's asking?"

"My name is Chifuyu Orimura. I'm here on behalf of the IS Academy."

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms. "I figured as much, considering the monologue Rabbit Ears over here was about to go off on. So, what's up? You want me to teach there, or something?"

"Don't get full of yourself, kid. Just cause you can fly an IS doesn't mean you can pilot one."

"Yeah, that much makes sense. You know how much time it took me to get back to the pit? Seven minutes!"

"Yeah, I watched the footage. Almost gave me a heart attack when I realized you weren't a girl. Then again, it was pretty hard to tell."

"Now hey, just because you're a woman doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk all over me! You can either tell me why you're here or you can get the hell outta the car."

I could see Tabane looking more nervous with every word I uttered. That sentence actually made her cringe.

Chifuyu just chuckled and smirked. "You're prideful. I like that. Anyway, the headmaster of the Infinite Stratos Academy sent me here to fix you up."

Tabane's head cocked curiously, almost like a child. I crossed my arms, refusing to give away that I was also a bit befuddled.

"Collect me, you mean?" any hint of a small smile on my face disappeared like that.

"Close, but not quite. You won't actually be coming to Laurentian for a week or so. I just need to get some things before we can register you."

"Well, just one problem. Isn't ISA an all-girls school?" I asked.

"Not by law. It only has girls simply because they're the only ones who can pilot the IS."

"So you want to dump me, a pubescent teenage boy into a school full of hundreds of pubescent teenage girls?"

"The idiocy of it struck me as well, but it wasn't my stupid idea. The headmaster was the one who sent me out here," she replied. I sighed at the absurdity of my situation. I just wanted a regular school experience, and here I get this. Granted I'd skipped grade 9, but who really cares. I skipped everything else.

Chifuyu uncrossed her arms before reaching into a briefcase and handing a stack of paper to Tabane, who had remained surprisingly silent. "These are registration forms. Since he's technically your ward right now, I also need you to sign this, which gives me legal permission to look after him in your stead."

"Hey!" I cried as I slapped it out of her hand before she could hand it over and said, "I'm not a freaking trading card! Why hasn't anyone asked me what the hell I want?"

Chifuyu sighed and picked the papers back up. "Listen, Murdoch, there are a lot of people who'd like to put you in a lab and chop you open just to see what you look like on the inside. I'm trying to ensure both that you're protected and that you can learn to use this newfound ability of yours."

I paused. No matter what, I'd always considered myself a free spirit. Not even dad claimed to have control over me, although there wasn't a human being I respected more than Owen Murdoch. This Chifuyu lady made an awful lot of sense, even if I didn't really like what she was saying.

Beyond that, if I said no, I'd probably be a test subject for the rest of my life...

Both options sucked.

"Tabane?" I said.

"Yeppy yep?" she said, smiling and obviously happy to be back in the conversation.

I clenched my fists and steeled myself for the inevitably insane journey I had ahead of me if I said the seven words in my head.

I tried to talk myself out of it again, but I realized that in the end, I really didn't have much of a choice.

"Sign the papers," I said, "I'm going to school."

- IS -

It was sunny when I arrived on Laurentian Island, which, contrary to what the name would suggest, was nowhere near the Laurentian Sea, nor the Abyss. It was about a tenth the size of the UK, and located on the oceanic equivalent of Mount Everest, reaching from the bottom of the ocean to the surface, almost equidistant between Labrador and Portugal. The ISA was on a relatively small spit of land on the western side of the island, affording the school's population fantastic sunsets.

Or so the brochure said. I had my doubts.

Clouds were floating lazily above and it was a few degrees below 20 Celsius, but I was just wearing a brown tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Fall was my favourite season, if only because the trees looked pretty and were nice to climb, though I seriously doubted I'd have time to climb very much while I was here, what with the whole 'learning to fly a high-tech battlesuit' thing.

On the flip side, I was going to learn to fly a high-tech battlesuit. Woohoo!

I rode a monorail car from the mainland's airport that took me to the IS Academy spire, which looked like a swirling ribbon that reached from a hexagonal, dome-like building to what looked like a spike.

That feeling in my gut wasn't nervousness. No, I definitely wasn't nervous. Just... agitated.

It was bad enough that it was my first day of high school, but I was going to an all-girls boarding academy on a remote island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Who the hell wouldn't be on edge?

Still, it beat sitting around playing tea party with Tabane for six agonizingly long days. I had no idea a genius could make so little sense.

Don't get me wrong, Tabane was one of the best people I'd ever met. She let me live with her, albeit insisting that I sleep with her too.

No, not in that way.

But, either way, she'd given me enough knowledge to get me started at the elitist IS Academy, where I was going to be the village idiot either way. She gave me a pair of bunny ears that matched hers, too, which I took off as soon as I got on the plane to Laurentian. Naturally, they zapped me the second they left my head. In the end, I'd been forced to flush them out the plane's toilet. I also swapped out the 'I Love Taba-Chan' tee shirt for what I was currently wearing.

That woman was nuts, but I could tell that she was just an introduction to what was to come.

...

Actually, no. What I was walking into was crazy. Tabane was downright senile sometimes.

The monorail ended and I stepped off the car with a mostly-empty duffel bag slung over my shoulder and my favourite pillow under my arm. I could feel a cool breeze blowing through the Academy's station.

Chifuyu, a tiny green-haired woman who seemed much younger than she probably actually was (just judging by the size of her chest (it's sorta hard to ignore)), and a Japanese girl about my age were standing a few yards away, obviously waiting for me.

"Sten, over here," the teacher said. I walked down the three steps from the platform onto the pristine white floor and made my way over to the three women.

"Morning, teach," I said pleasantly, giving her a half-hearted wave.

"Welcome to the Academy. This is your class' assistant teacher, Maya Yamada."

I extended a hand for her to shake. "Welcome!" she said cheerily, "I look forward to teaching you!"

"I'm sure it'll be fun."

Chifuyu grabbed my attention again and pointed to the third girl. "This is Houki Shinonono. She's in your class, which is the one I teach. She'll show you to class and explain the daily routine."

"Shinonono?" I asked, immediately recognizing the name. It had way too many 'no's.

"Uh, yeah," she replied. Her stern look could have melted steel.

"Your sister's nuts."

"Yes. Yes she is."

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you."

I quickly shook her hand before turning back to Chifuyu. "So, am I dropping my stuff off in a room or just bringing it to class?"

She crossed her arms again. "A room hasn't been assigned to you yet, so for now just keep it with you. Also, since your attendance was somewhat unforeseen, we don't have a uniform ready for you."

"What, so am I going to class naked?"

Yamada and Houki's jaws dropped and I laughed. "No," Chifuyu said, "Just wear what you're wearing for now. We'll have a uniform for you in a week or so."

I nodded and shrugged my bag back onto the shoulder it had started to slide off of. I turned to Houki. "So, where's class?"

If she frowned any more, I was pretty sure her face would split in two. "This way."

I nodded to Chifuyu, who sent us on our way.

The Academy uniform, if Houki's was to be any example at all, was a white jacket with red stripes that incorporated a skirt into the bottom. The collar was large and black with red trim. A blue ribbon was tied in a bow around the collar of her dress shirt.

"So...," I said, trying and failing to make conversation.

"Hmm," was all she said.

"How is it here?"

She looked over at me like 'I don't really want to talk to you but I have to so please shut up after I finish this sentence'. I hated that look.

"Good, I suppose. There are a lot of weirdos here, and I imagine that'll be a bit more common now that you're here. Watch out for the third years. I heard a few of them talking about jumping someone, so just keep your eyes open."

It wasn't surprising, really. Laurentian Island's population was really off-balance because of the number of IS pilots living there. Over sixty percent was female, and most of the girls at this academy probably only went back to their home countries during long vacations.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you care if I get jumped or not."

Houki's face got a few shades redder than normal. "No! I'm just concerned about a fellow classmate's safety!" she yelled, stomping faster.

I think I may have started her off a bit too quickly. I'd heard how prudish the Japanese were in comparison to Westerners, but it was quite different seeing it up close.

And by Westerners, I mean everywhere west of Japan.

I took a few running strides to catch up to her. "Hey, I was just kidding! I'm a kidder!"

"I can see that. I just don't like being made fun of."

"Hey, I'm not making fun of you," I assured her, "I'm just not very good at new people. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, without many people to talk to, so-"

"Well, you better learn fast. Wait outside 'til the teacher calls you in."

She turned a corner and started down a hallway I could see was lined with classrooms. I waited outside while she went into a classroom with a glass panel overhead that read 'CLASS 1-1'.

I really hated being a man in a female-dominated world. When I was seven years old, some high-ranking politician in the US had given a speech in which she said, "Given the centuries that women spent as the property and playthings of men, is it not fair that we spin the wheel and reverse the positions of power of the sexes?"

When we watched that speech, my dad had laughed and said, "Sten, don't ever let anyone, man or woman, tell you who to be."

I heard my name called and took a deep breath as I stepped past the threshold. I regretted the stepping bit in about half a second. There were about twenty-seven girls in the class. About half started squealing, while others were saying various things that I couldn't pick up on. I was pretty sure a few asked me out, too.

"Don't just stand there, moron, introduce yourself."

I turned to the teacher's desk and would have let out a squeak if I were any less manly.

If there was a word for how exploded my brain got when I saw who was standing there, it had to be scarily long. For standing there in a stern-looking suit not unlike Chifuyu's was my:

"Mom?!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the woman who'd abandoned me and my dad when I was five was standing in the middle of my classroom. You think your first day of high school was awkward? Beat that.

The tall, brown-haired woman rolled her eyes and snapped, "That's Miss Murdoch!"

I just made odd noises like gak and uck.

Maybe I should explain. My mother was among the first of the IS pilots, the first Representative Contender for Canada. Before that, she'd wanted to have three little girls with my father.

My older sisters, twins, were born two years before me. Then I came along and my parents' marriage fell apart. She took my sisters and left two weeks after the IS was announced. We'd never heard from her again, but we saw her on TV during the first and second Mondo Grossos.

"Introduce yourself, dammit!"

Holy crap, she was scary! Feeling like I would be set on fire if I didn't, I turned back to the class and opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a little puff of air. Every pair of eyes in the room seemed to glint maliciously as I looked out at them all.

"U-uhhh- hi. I'm S-Sten Murdoch. I'm new to all of this, obviously, so take it easy on me, please."

The commotion started up again before my mom yelled to shut the hell up. "There's a seat there," she said.

She pointed to a desk at the dead front and center of the room. Cringing, I sat down and dropped my stuff beside the desk. "Well," mom said, "I'm obviously not your teacher. Miss Yamada and Miss Orimura are going to be a few more minutes, then they'll get started with your lessons."

So, we all waited for the longest two minutes and twenty-seven seconds in my entire life. The places on my back that everyone behind me were staring at felt like they were melting away. I looked over at Houki for some backup, but she looked away from me as soon as I saw her.

Was she staring at me?

Eventually, Miss Yamada walked in. "Thanks for watching them, Miss Murdoch!" she said cheerily.

"Not a problem. Just make sure you watch the boy closely. He's a trouble maker."

WHAT?! HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIGURE THAT?!

"I'll be sure to keep an eye on him," the woman said as Chifuyu walked in. I really couldn't tell where Yamada was from. She didn't look completely Japanese. Maybe half European, but her accent said North American. I really hate genetics...

"Oh, I'm sure you will, Maya," the former Champion teased, smiling.

I hung my head and sighed. Was this really the typical all-girls school atmosphere?

Yamada sputtered unintelligibly for a few seconds before Orimura let her off. My mom left the room as Chifuyu stepped behind the lectern that sat behind the desk.

"Okay, class," she began, "As you're all aware now, we have a new student. He's the only boy in the world who can move an IS, obviously, so he doesn't know how things work around here. That gives you all a pretty significant advantage over him both academically and tactically, so try not to give him a hard time, and help him out as best you can. Got it?"

The way she said 'got it' made it sound like a threat.

"Yes, ma'am!" they shouted in unison. Must've taken them a lot of practice to get that down right.

Only boy in the world...

I swear, no matter how I grew up, never in my life did I feel more alone than that moment.

Huzzah. I'd survived my first lesson without rupturing an artery. Barely. I could hear girls muttering odd things about me from all around the classroom, and when I looked to my right I saw about a hundred other fifteen and sixteen-year-old girls, all gawking at me like I was some sort of super-interesting museum exhibit.

"Someone, pleeeeease get me out of this shitty situation!" I muttered, resting my forehead on my desk.

A few seconds passed before a finger tapped against the back on my head. I flipped my head onto my chin and looked up to see Houki standing there with her arms crossed, looking down at me.

Literally, I mean. She was physically looking down at me.

...

Nope, she was probably looking down at me in terms of gender as well. Have I mentioned how much I hate gender inequality? Well I do. A lot.

She turned her head to look at the door and asked, "Can we talk for a while?"

Of all the things I expected the Japanese girl to say, that wasn't one of them.

"Uhh, yeah. Sure."

I stood from my desk and followed her out of the room. The horde split down the middle to let her through, repelled by the power of the Houscowl.

Get it? Houki-Scowl?

...

What, no?

...

Fine. You suck.

Anyway, she led me up to one of the roofs of the tower's five-storey first-year wing. She walked over to and leaned against the north-west railing.

A cool breeze sailed past us and I briefly enjoyed it. The air wasn't as fresh as I was used to, but I could live with that.

"So, what's up?" I asked, pocketing my hands.

"Huh?" she replied.

"You call me up here to tell me 'huh'? Sounds almost like something I would do," I smiled and moved to stand beside her.

She turned to me quickly and snapped, "Are you calling me a tomboy?! I will so hit you!"

She was giving me that glare that could cut through steel again, but I could still see the red tint of her cheeks as she turned to me.

Oh, so that's how it is.

I shot her a bemused look from the corner of my eye. "I think you're reading a bit too much into it, babe."

"Don't call me that! It's not appropriate to call someone who you're not in a relationship with that!"

If her panties were any tighter her legs would have been cut right off.

I sighed and leaned my back against the railing as I crossed my arms, trying to get a better view of her face. I couldn't deny that she was attractive. Beautiful, even.

Even if her personality was a bit (VERY) disagreeable. Wouldn't be caught dead saying it, though. She'd probably kick me in the nads. "So, what should I call you?"

She turned back to the railing and looked down at the ground below. She started twirling a lock of hair around her forefinger and I had to wait a moment before she muttered, "Just Houki's fine."

"Well then, Houki it is."

I'm not good at awkward silences, so I laid a hand on the hand that was still on the railing and gave her a warm smile. "I've gotta thank you, Houki. If Chifuyu'd left me alone at the station, then I'd probably have gotten lost. I just hope we can get to be friends."

"Is-is that so?"

"So, getting back to what you wanted to ask me?" I said.

Her voice went quiet. "Oh, well... I just wanted to ask you how my sis-"

The bell rang before she could finish her sentence. "Well," I said, "We'd better get back to class."

I patted her hand then turned back to the stairs.

What I didn't see as I walked away was Houki holding the hand I'd touched and smiling to herself. Girls are really, really confusing.

Miss Yamada was giving the second half of the lesson on the IS Core Network. The students were all listening raptly, meanwhile I was sitting with my nose buried in the pages of the textbook.

'This Active- whatever, and that Wide-Area contraption... WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!' was what ran through my head. It felt like there wasn't any blood flowing to my brain at all.

"-you have any questions, Murdoch? Murdoch!"

"GAH!" my head snapped up in surprise to see Miss Yamada standing a foot or so in front of my desk. A few of the girls giggled at my expense.

"Well, uh...," I trailed off.

"Well, if you do, just ask me, okay? I am your teacher, after all!" this woman was very cheery. Also, woman was a bit of an overstatement. She couldn't have been more than twenty, but she acted much younger.

I lowered my head in shame and raised my hand. "Miss Yamada..."

"Yes? Don't be shy, Sten!" her smile would have been contagious in any other situation.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS!" I moaned, defeated.

"What? Not any of it?" she sounded distressed. Well, at least the teacher cared. "Is there anyone else here who doesn't understand what we've covered so far?"

Every girl in the class stayed silent. "Thanks, guys," I said back to them, "I feel real loved right now."

"Murdoch," Chifuyu rose from the desk and walked toward me, "Did you read the reference manual before school started?"

"That's a terrible question! You know who the hell I was living with, Chifuyu- ack!" she whacked me over the head with the steel attendance clipboard.

"That's Miss Orimura!"

"Yeah, whatever. Point is, I had two options. Read IS manuals or play tea party. What do you think I'd do?!"

No, the tea parties I mentioned earlier weren't a joke.

"I'll get you another copy, and I expect you to have it memorized within a week!"

"What?! That thing was the size of a world encyclopaedia and you want me to memorize it in a week?!"

She whipped around and glared me a most terrifying glare. "What did I say...?" her tone was menacing.

"Wouldn't it be better to just learn the stuff more hands-on-like? I'd have it memorized in a day if I could use an IS."

"Shut up and do as I say!"

I closed my eyes and hung my head. "Yes, ma'am..."

A very awkward silence dominated the room for a while before Yamada continued with the lesson. "Well then, let's continue. Please turn to page 12 in your textbooks!"

'God, I would slap someone for a Klondike bar...,' I thought, lazily staring at the wide lectern.

"May I have a moment?" a girl said as she walked up to me. She looked the epitome of groomed elegance, with long blonde hair that curled slightly and bright blue eyes. A blue headband showed itself over her forehead before disappearing behind the blonde locks. She spoke with a heavy British accent.

"Huh?" I looked up at her to see her recoil in shock.

"My goodness, is that any way to speak to a lady?! You should be honored that I've bothered speaking to you in the first place!" she said that like talking to me was detracting from her lifespan. "Don't you think you should behave in a more appropriate manner?"

"Look, I don't even know you."

"What? How can you not know who I am?! I'm Cecilia Alcott! England's Representative Contender! The one who scored highest on the entrance exam!"

"Hold on, hold on! I have a question!"

"Well," she said, flicking her hair aside, "It is the responsibility of a noble to answer queries from the lower classes. Do go ahead."

"You said you're a Representative Contender. Got it. Mind explaining what the means, exactly?"

Her back stiffened and her voice went up at least an octave as she shouted, "This is unbelievable! I can only hope that every Canadian man is not this utterly devoid of knowledge! I mean, it's nothing more than common sense, honestly."

"Are you gonna tell me, or do you not actually know?" I asked, reclining my chair.

Her eyes seemed to twinkle a bit as she then said, "They are the chosen elites, selected by their countries to represent them as IS pilots! Surely you should be able to deduce that from the name alone!"

"Yeah, that makes sense, actually."

"That's right, I am one of the elite! It is a true miracle and your good fortune to get to be in the same homeroom with someone like me! Oh, what an incredibly lucky boy you are! Did that get through that incredibly thick skull of yours? Hmm?"

"I got it! I guess I'm lucky," I responded, a little bit perturbed by her holier-than-the-one-who-thinks-they're-holier-than-thou attitude.

"Wait, are you making fun of me now?"

"Hey, you're then one who just said how lucky I am!"

She huffed and started circling my desk. Point taken, I guess.

"First of all, I'd like to know how you managed to enter this school with no knowledge about anything. I heard that you're the only male who can control an IS, but you've been such a terrible disappointment!"

"I try to keep the bar low when it comes to me."

"Hm. Well, in any case, since I'm so remarkable, I can still find it in my heart to be considerate toward people such as yourself. So, if you do have questions, I wouldn't mind answering them if you were to beg with tears in your eyes. After all, I did defeat an instructor during the entrance exam, which means that I am an elite amongst the elites!"

"Oh, get over yourself."

"What?!"

"You're acting like you're superior just because you have a title I don't. Now, I've never been to Britain, so I don't know exactly how it goes there, but I know an inflated ego when I see one."

"How dare you! I-" the bell rang, signalling the end of the second recess. She seemed to burn with rage as I gave her a shit-eating grin and waved goodbye.

"We will be continuing this conversation later! Do you understand?!"

Without waiting for an answer, she stormed off.

"Try loosening your panties!" I shouted to her. I could see her blush from across the room, and I smiled in success.

Making enemies the first day isn't exactly a good idea, but hey, what the hell.

- IS -

I left the school as soon as I was allowed, which was after club meeting time. I, of course, wasn't in a club, so I was thoroughly occupied with orientation.

I was basically told to comport myself like the perfect gentleman at all times and to stay the f*ck away from the girls' locker room.

Please, do I look like I have a death wish? Like I need to be told to stay away from the hive of girls who probably haven't seen a boy in years. I like to keep all of my body parts on my person and off trophy shelves, thank you very much.

By 7:00 I was on my way to the first year dormitories with my backpack and pillow, and a little briefcase with the textbook and some basic supplies in it. Pencils, paper... you know, that stuff that everyone has to have but no one actually uses anymore.

The dorms were three ten-storey buildings laid out in a three-pointed star, with a small common building in the middle. The building with the blue lines was the one I was going to: the first year dorm. The yellow was for second years, and red for the thirds.

So, there I was, standing in front of the elaborately carved wooden door of room 1025, with a pillow and a backpack, fumbling for my key. Finally managing to snatch it from the convenient belt-mounted slot-holder-carrier-thing, I put the metal security key into the lock and turned it.

Now, I knew that governments had spared no expense on luxury for students at the ISA, but what I saw still made my jaw drop. There was a bathroom just to my left as soon as I entered the room, and a kitchenette to my right. Past that, the room ballooned into a respectable size, with a pair of beds to the left, each featuring a night table on either side. There was a privacy wall that slid in and out of the wall between the beds. To my right was possibly the biggest desk I'd ever seen, somehow managing to cover the entire wall. It was divided in two by a shallow groove down the middle, and two thin as paper computer monitors hung from the wall above the tabletop on either side.

The back wall was a sliding glass door out onto a nicely sized balcony. I whistled, extremely impressed.

As I stepped over to the far bed I tossed my stuff onto the desk and stretched my arms.

I then noticed two things. One, there was a bag on the floor at the foot of the bed I'd been about to claim with a bokken and a kendo shinai sticking out.

Two, that constant noise that I hadn't registered in the background suddenly disappeared, and I heard wet footsteps.

Shit! Girl!

The door to the washroom opened and I heard a somewhat familiar voice. "Is someone out there?"

Double shit! Familiar girl!

"Oh, hey, you must be my roommate. I look forward to having some company, finally."

A tall, brown haired girl stepped out of the washroom wrapped in a towel, gently drying her hair with another. "Sorry to meet you like this, but I just got out of the shower," she lifted the towel and opened her eyes, "My name is Houki Shinon-"

We both froze. Her, out of shock.

Me, out of sheer, utter terror.

She sorta stared at me for a bit, her face as vivid a red as her towel was pink.

"S- St- Sten?!" she cried.

"Uh... Hi?" My mouth just hung open as I tried desperately to avoid staring at the ample breasts that were about three seconds from popping out of the towel.

...

At which point she realized that she was mostly naked and wigged out.

"Gaaah! Don't look!" she screamed, using her arms to cover herself a bit better.

I meeped and whirled around. "Gah, sorry!"

"What the hell are you doing in here?!"

"Oh, well, uh... I sorta live here."

Houki just growled angrily. Her eyes flicked to the side, toward her bag.

I put my hands out in surrender. "Don't you dare go for that bokken."

Big surprise, she went for the bokken. I would've grabbed her, but her towel would have come off, which, while enjoyable to my eyes, probably would've been bad for my health, methinks.

"YAAAAAAAH!" she screamed, lunging at me.

I immediately ran for the exit, left the room and closed the door. Collapsing against it, I started to relax.

Rather, I would've if the tip of the bokken hadn't come through the door and grazed my ear. "What the hell, Houki?!" I shouted, doing my best to dodge the blows that burst straight through the hardwood door.

Looks like I was wrong. The international committee had definitely skimped on door construction.

"Stop it, you crazy- agh, GIRL!"

Couldn't bring myself to call her a crazy bitch.

Finally, the damned thing came through and stabbed against my back. I went tumbling away from the door with what would probably turn into a bruise of a nice shade of purple.

"That HURT, Houki! Trying to kill me isn't freaking funny!" I snapped, genuinely angry.

The sword was still embedded in the door as I sat up and dusted off my shirt. At which point I noticed the horde had amassed around me. I was surrounded by a large number of girls in night clothes.

"Oh, so this is Murdoch's room?" one of them said.

"That's a nice bit of info to have!" the one beside her said.

They were all muttering odd things that, in all honesty, I really didn't want to hear. I got up, gulped, and calmly walked back to the door.

"Houki?" I said politely.

No answer.

"Oh, Supreme Mistress and Lady of All the Universe? I, your humble subject would be most appreciative if you were to open the damned door."

Still nothing. The horde was gradually moving closer. A vision passed through my head of me being dragged into a dark room by my ankles, my fingernails leaving trails in the floor.

I asked a few more times before the bokken startled me as it came out of the door. I fell back and looked up to see Houki standing there in a kendo outfit. Odd sleepwear, but hey, who am I to judge?

Thanking her profusely, I scurried inside. She sat down on the bed I'd wanted to take for myself, but I didn't argue. If I had a weapon, I might've, but at that moment I was unarmed, and she had both anger and a pointy wooden sword.

Plus, it was her bed.

"So," she said suspiciously, "Now it seems you're my roommate."

"An astute observation," I closed my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Just what are you trying to pull, Murdoch?"

"What?" my look of shock was-

...

Umm... What's the word I'm looking for?

Ah, to hell with it! Moving on!

"I asked what the hell you're trying to pull! Don't you know mixing genders past age seven is... It's just wrong!"

I sighed and scratched the back of my neck. Great, I'm roomed with a crazy Japanese swords-woman with inter-sexual ideals from 500 years ago...

Seriously! Whose stupid idea was this?!

"Sounds like you're just a prude to me, Houki," I said, recrossing my arms as I sat down on my bed again, "But you're right, I may be unable to contain myself in the face of such beauty, lay you upon the floor and take you in a manly way."

I'll admit I was trying to get on her nerves a bit. Can you honestly blame me? She acted like I was going to rape her just because I have (present tense) a penis!

Beyond that, she was turning very interesting shades of red. I was pretty sure I could actually see steam coming out of her ears, too.

"You- you- YOU!" she stammered, obviously trying to force a sentence out of her furiously blushing face.

"Me- me- ME!"

"You requested this room, didn't you?" she finally asked, her tone calming down a bit. Then again, her tone would suggest that she was reprimanding a small child rather than someone her age, and a good deal larger than her. Then she got angry again, "You asked them to put us in here together!"

"I'm clingy, but not that clingy, babe."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME THAT?!"

Next thing I know, I'm on one knee, the blade of her sword caught between my palms. Beyond the fact that the wood wasn't exactly meant to be grippable in the first place, Houki was very, very strong.

"You've gotta be kidding!" I did my best to shout that, but it just came out as a loud whisper.

"KIDDING, AM I?! I'LL SHOW YOU KIDDING! I get it, I GET IT!" she was flat out growling now. That, and putting all of her weight behind the bokken.

"Scary face... Very scary face," I gave her a strained smile as I was gradually forced back. I wasn't weak by any means, but HOLY CRAP, WOMAN!

Faintly, I heard voices behind me. "Shinonono's so bold..."

"Quit wiggling, it's hard to see!"

I fell forward when Houki stopped her slash and let the bokken hang at her side. Oh, thank god... I thought I was a goner...

"Shoot, it's over...," the first voice said.

"Just when it was getting good...," said the second voice.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see four or five girls slinking away from the Swiss cheesed door, and I let out a tired breath.

It's official, I thought, high school sucks!

Houki immediately ran over and slammed the door shut. I hadn't noticed, but she was panting just as much as I was.

"Sten..."

"What? Wanna try to run me through again? Is that it? Ha, do your worst!" I collapsed backward onto my back and raised my right fist in defiance.

Surprisingly, she chuckled a bit. "I think that as long as we're sharing the same room, we should establish some ground rules."

"No panty raiding! Got it!" I slowly got up to my feet and finally kicked my shoes off beside what was now my bed. The cream-coloured sheets and duvet looked warm and comfortable.

"Well, that better go without saying. Regarding shower usage, I'll use it between 7:00 and 8:00 PM, and you can use it from 8:00 to 9:00."

"How about we both just use it when we need it?"

"Are you saying that I might not get to use the shower after club activities?"

"You mean activities like kendo? I thought that there were showers at the club building."

"Yeah, but I really don't feel relaxed unless I shower here!" she was getting a bit more stern, so I reciprocated.

"And I'd like to use the can at my own place instead of having to use the ones at school," I rebutted. Then a realization smacked me in the face. "Oh wait, there aren't any toilets in the rooms, are there?"

Houki turned to look at the door. "That's right, there's only lavatories at the end of each hallway..."

I leaned against the desk and groaned. "Jeez, you'd think that someone would've realized that this place is an all-girls school! But, worst case scenario-"

I was interrupted by the bokken poking into my cheek. At this point I was extremely unimpressed.

"I see you're quite a pervert, Murdoch! I'm very disappointed!" Houki said.

"Wha's dat shupposhed ta mean?" the bokken was making me sound funny.

"You want to go into the girls' washroom! What else can you call that besides perverted?!"

"Pragmatic."

"UGH, I should punish you right now!" she raised the freaking bokken again and prepared to strike me.

"Won't catch me off guard this time!" I ran, grabbed her bamboo shinai and yanked it out of the bag.

I knew as much about kendo as a limbless orangutan, but I'd figure it out- why was Houki blushing? Nearest I could tell I was fully clothed.

I looked at the sword in my right hand and saw a piece of clothing hanging from the tip. I plucked it, and about five seconds later realized what it was. "Well, so much for the underwear rule," I said, trying to be funny.

"GIVE IT BACK!" she cried, snatching the bra from my hand, "Hands off, you pervert!"

I just dropped the shinai (big mistake), crossed my arms and closed my eyes as I nodded in a most sagely manner. "Well, Houki, I never would'a guessed it, but it looks like you wear a bra."

This time the bokken goose-egged me right on the forehead.

- IS -

The next morning came way too early for my taste. I was used to waking up at 9:00, taking a run and practicing Whoopass Fu, a fighting technique my dad and I developed, then mucking about the woods all day with my dog, Foofle (so named because it sounded funny).

Houki knocked my ass out of bed, quite literally, at about 7:05. She then proceeded to yell my ear off about getting the hell dressed so we could leave.

I changed my underwear, put on my jeans from yesterday, threw on a bright yellow shirt with a smiley face on it and brushed my teeth before Houki and I left.

The walk to the mess hall was shorter than the one to the school building, thank god, but it was still annoying.

I was sitting beside my irate roommate, eating quietly. While Houki was eating some Japanese stuff that I couldn't be bothered to remember the name of, I was having.

Sorry, I just need to start a new sentence for everything I was eating.

Two enormous pancakes, three scrambled eggs, six slices of back bacon, eight slices of white toast with peanut butter, four strips of regular bacon, two large Ukrainian sausages (the coiled kind), three servings of home fries, two bowls of some crappy bran cereal, and a bucket of milk. By bucket, I mean I literally had a bucket full of milk. There were a few other things too. And by a few, I mean I'm too lazy to even list half of what I was eating.

You could say I'm a pig. I call it monopolizing.

Anyway, Houki was scowling again. Seriously, how long can you scowl before your face freezes like that?

"Are you still mad at me?"

She swallowed a piece of fish. "I am not mad," she said snottily.

"Then why are you still wearing the mad face?"

"Get used to it, Murdoch."

"Oy..."

I went back to my pile of food. That sausage was calling my name!

As I ate faster than any human could possibly imagine, I listened to all the girls mumbling things about me. I heard some stuff about mom, but then... Olivia and Valerie were here?

"Hey, Houki?"

*SLAM!*

She stabbed her chop sticks right into the table's surface and shouted, "Don't use my first name!"

I sighed and tore off a bite of sausage. "Miss Shinonono..."

Before I could finish, though, someone tapped my shoulder to get my attention. I turned to see a trio of girls, two in the school uniform and one in a yellow... fox-shaped... coat.

"Murdoch, could we sit next to you?" the Japanese girl closest to me asked.

I smiled and pulled out the seat next to me. "Be my guest!"

They said their silent congratulations to each other and sat down.

"Wow, Murdoch," the fox-girl said, "You sure eat a lot for breakfast!"

"Such a typical boy!" the red-headed American girl in the middle of the newcomers said.

I looked over at their trays and cringed. The red-head was eating just a croissant, which, granted, was chocolate, the Japanese girl had a single fried egg, and fox-girl was only eating a freaking salad.

"Dear god, how do you people survive starving yourselves like this?" I asked, poking the Japanese girl in the side.

She jumped a little. "Well, uhh... I, umm..."

"I think we'll be alright," said the red-head.

"Because we eat a lot of snacks!" fox-girl cried, and DEAR GOD THE COAT'S EARS MOVED!

Houki then slammed her palms down on the table and pushed her chair out. "I think I'll excuse myself now," she muttered angrily.

You'd think she'd have gotten used to girls yelling all over the place by then.

"Oh, well, okay. I'll take care of your tray when I'm done."

"Sure. Thanks."

She then proceeded to stomp off in a huff.

The red-head leaned forward to get a better look at my face. "So you and Shinonono must be really close friends, right, Murdoch?"

"I heard you're even sharing a room," said the Japanese girl.

"Well I just met Houki yesterday, but I lived with her sister for a while before I came here."

"What? You lived with her sister?" the three asked in perfect unison. Seriously, how did they do that?

*Clap clap*

The sound came from right behind me, and I turned to see Chifuyu standing there in what looked like a track suit. Why a track suit, you may ask? The answer eludes even me.

"Less talking, more eating!" the Teacher From Hell, as she was called, shouted, standing akimbo, "Pilots have to eat quickly and efficiently!"

I took an absurdly huge bite of home fries and chewed while she talked. "For those of you idiots who don't know, I'm the freshman dorm supervisor! Anyone late to class'll do twenty laps around the school!"

Her eyes burned with a passion that told me that threat wasn't empty. And, while I was quite a runner, I really didn't want to have to run laps on my second freaking day.

Now I saw why everyone found her so terrifying.

And, despite everyone eating as fast as they could, I still finished before all the girls.

I wondered what lunch was going to be...

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