When i opened my eyes i know two things, One i am not in New York anymore and two i have a very bad hangover that is not helping me in this situation. As i look around i notice that i am in a very large field in the middle of nowhere. this field looks like rain and the sun has avoided it at all costs. It was brown like the grass back at home where if you leave it to long it dies.
It takes a few minutes for me to start really freaking out.
What the fuck happened last night? I asked aloud more to myself then anyone else.
"Are you in need of assistance my lady" I voice behind me calls
"holy shit i yelled as i turned around. You scared the shit out of me." i cried
When I turned around I found two old men (they are pretty old) standing there. One of the man was kind of tall in stature grey robe and tall pointed hat. He stood with a staff which took my eyes away from the long beard that he had. The man standing next to him was a complete opposite looks wise. The second man was a bit shorter than the wore all brown and on the side of his face he had some brown stuff which I was hoping was not cum. ( most people would think the same thing too. Don't judge me)
"My lady are you OK?" The tall man in gray asked me
"I'm sorry but, I am far from fucking OK." I saw trying to shake the hangover I had away
"You are not from here are you?" The same man asked
"What gave it way? I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"Well i have never seen clothes like your." He said still looking into my eyes
Oh, shit i thought to myself i forgot what i was wearing. It was a little black dress that left little to the imagination and it did not help that i was not wearing a bra (i know i know)
" Listen i woke up here and i have no clue where i am. Can you tell me where i am?" I asked hoping i can figure where i was.
" My lady we are not to far from Laketown." He said still with the same look on his face.
Wait where is that exactly?" i asked getting pretty scared at this point
"You my dear are in Middle Earth." He said
I swear to god that everything stopped at that very moment and i knew i was fucked. I did not realize that the two men before me were Gandalf the grey and Radagast the brown from the Fucking Hobbit books.
" I need to sit down." i said as i fell to my knees
"What is your name dear?" Gandalf ask me.
"Domino Harvey" I said while trying to figure out what the hell i am going to do.
"Well i am Gandalf the wondering wizard and this is my companion Radagast the brown." he said
"It is nice to meet you two, thanks for coming to whatever this is." I said moving my hands all around.
"How the fuck did i end up here?" i asked. "What is the last thing that you remember?" Gandalf asked me " I went out drinking with my best friend Jordan for his birthday. i remember getting to the club and drinking with friends that's all.
"Well dear we are on our way to Dale and i think that you should come with us. This is not the best place for you at the moment, there is a war brewing and you do not want to be here." Gandalf said with a smile on his face.
I got off of the ground because my knees began to hurt and after Gandalf's little pep talk i wanted to as far from here as i could get. I have seen the movies i know whats about to go down and i am far from a fighter. As we were walking i noticed Radagast lift his hat and a bird went into his hair. I stopped for a moment and thought so the whit stuff on his face is bird shit. (I already fucking hate it here.)