A/N : Thank you for all the reviews and reading up to here! Things are about to get messy; but rest assured that the story is far from over!

Spencer : Conscience

All my life, I've concentrated on what I wanted to achieve. I've never considered something like falling in love, or even thinking about dating. My career was just too important. And considering the dangerous job I was in, I could never bring myself to justify what I did for a living to a potential girlfriend. They wouldn't understand. Or they'd get in the way and try to get me to quit. Worse even, be in danger. I felt bad enough that my dad got dragged into this investigation. I worried about him every single day.

I tried to remember when I had decided to become a cop. My grandfather was a Marine. I vaguely recalled him telling me stories about war when he was still alive. I was eight when he passed away. Color me confused for taking a liking in dangerous missions and crazy, scary situations at such a young age.

Allowing myself to fall in love was never my plan. To fall in love with a lead suspect of a high profile investigation was definitely not in the plan either. To be honest, I never knew what it was to fall in love until I met her. I didn't know my knees could go weak and my breath could hitch like that at just the thought or sight of this girl. Even my heart did all kinds of strange things – from skipping beats to sometimes stopping altogether. When she was close to me it was racing – way faster than my car did even after I'd activated NOS. When her lips touched mine it felt like I touched heaven.

I wasn't sure when things have become so confusing. My objective was straightforward and very clear; befriend the Davies', get into the racing scene, get the evidence to prove that the Davies' were hijacking those trucks, take them down.

Instead, I fell in love with one, and tried to believe that the other one was innocent. By now I knew Kyla wasn't, and I had enough reason to believe that they were about to hit again, possibly right after their last races. But I still had a problem.

Ashley Davies.

I wanted her to be innocent in all of this. I didn't want her to be crazy. I didn't want her to get hurt.

But as my eye caught hers, I knew things were about to change. She looked worried and my guess was that she was uncovering some truths today that she'd rather have ignored for the rest of her life. I knew I was going to be one of them.

I'd lied to her for weeks. I used her and made love to her as a consolation prize – that's not what my heart told me, but my mind was cynical. I had doubts about her, doubts about her studying and the coffee shop – thanks to Kyla. As much as I didn't want her to get hurt by anything that was going to go down today, I knew deep down that the only person who was going to rip that beautiful heart of hers apart, was me.

I wanted to hurl.

Paula was right about me all along. I was not the right person for this job. I screwed up royally. I'd messed with people's hearts, with their lives. Maybe I'd give them Kyla in the end, but I could never give them Ashley. I was too weak for that. Too much of a coward. I did not deserve to earn that Detective Badge. Spencer Carlin, welcome to Precinct 59. You will be cleaning toilets here for the rest of your life… And live with the pain you caused Ashley Davies. It will hurt your cold heart until the day you die.