I Am Not What You Choose To See

AU story that centers around suicide and healing. Hope you enjoy. Please review and let me know.

I own nothing. Nothing.

Chapter Fourteen

Time passed and before anyone realized it a month had gone by since Genma's running. The broken man continued to work to put himself back together again and Kakashi remained still to the world. Many were fretting over the Copy-nin's condition, but no medical intervention seemed to work to wake the nin. Another problem was that one night Genma escaped again. Raidou discovered the empty room first on his daily, morning visits to Gen's window and freaked along with Ibiki.

"Stop," Tsunade ordered as Raidou and Ibiki were about to hit the hospital alarm, "Come see what I found."

Raidou shared a look with Ibiki and the two followed their Hokage…straight to Kakashi's room. Gai was trembling and crying his "manly" tears while keeping himself carefully hidden from whatever was happening inside the room.

"What is going on?" Ibiki asked before Tsunade offered a beaming grin.

"Is my Gen in there?" Raidou demanded before grunting as Gai hugged him joyfully, "Gah! Let go, Gai. Let me see."

"Look at the passionate youthfulness!" Gai glowed before scowling as Ibiki refused a hug, "Downer."

"Weirdo," Ibiki snapped back, "Move."

Raidou and Ibiki peeked into the observation window to see Genma sitting with a very much awake Kakashi. The two were sitting back to back on the bed while it looked like the Copy-nin was beaming as Genma was shoving at the other playfully.

"Genma's got a special seal on one of his wrist guards that I installed the first time he ran off to alert me if he runs again," Tsunade grinned out, "The kid somehow overheard a staff member talking about Kakashi's condition and Genma came to check up on the brat. I watched as Genma practically teased Kakashi right out of his state of unconsciousness. Kid just wouldn't take no for an answer and nearly pounced the man once Kakashi opened his eyes. Whatever you've been doing with Genma, Ibiki, he's turned on the brat. Kakashi is talking to Genma about just a few of the feelings that he's never admitted to before and Genma is telling Kakashi some of his own inner thoughts and feelings. The sharing is doing both of them a lot of good. This is the most I've seen Kakashi allow himself to admit to in years and Genma isn't holding anything back."

Raidou smirked as he watched Genma chipping away at Kakashi's shields and then beamed at his lover when Gen noticed him. Genma winked at the scarred jonin before shoving at Kakashi a little more.

"Always been a tease," Raidou chortled, patting Gai on the back, "Seems my brat has done your rival some good, Gai."

"Perhaps even enough to get rid of Hound," Gai sniffled as Ibiki snorted, "Don't start with me. Hound is the devil."

"Hound is your rival," Ibiki pointed out, "Hound is a necessary part of Kakashi's mind. One day Hound will disappear, but for now Kakashi might be able to deal with some of those emotions that he represses without hiding behind Hound. You realize that Genma reaching out to Kakashi is another breakthrough."

"I know," Raidou agreed, "Gen has always tried to help in subtle ways. His teases and words have other meanings. It feels like the Genma we've known for years is returning finally."

"Somewhat," Ibiki stated as Raidou, Gai, and Tsunade glanced to the man sharply, "Genma will be stronger than before. He's coming to terms with his abusive childhood and the rapes. He's finding himself and his old cocky ways are returning. I've had to confiscate so many senbon from his lips—you have no idea. He plays pranks on the psych ward staff all the time. I have no idea how he escapes as much as he does, but he always returns to his room. Genma wants to live and get better."

"And he's bringing Kakashi along with him," Gai cheered, continuing to watch the duo in the hospital room, "A most youthful and passionate person-Genma Shiranui."

"You got that right," Raidou agreed, feeling months of weight lifted from his shoulders as he returned a smirk Genma sent his way.

Later that night, Raidou was allowed a visit with his boyfriend. The two merely strung themselves around one another for a bit of time before the scarred jonin got up the courage to ask what Genma had done to wake Kakashi.

"Told him that he had to wake up again because I found him," Genma had replied as his boyfriend blinked, "Kakashi was hiding. I made him return to the game."

"Game, Baby?"

"Game of life, Rai," Genma hummed, "The one where sometimes things don't go just as they should, but only the strong survive the ups and downs. Kakashi and I are stronger now…both of us."

Raidou beamed and pulled Genma closer as the man snickered. Yes. Both Kakashi and Genma were much, much stronger now and the mischievous twinkle in Gen's eyes was back.

"I've missed you, Baby."

"I've missed you too, Rai. I want to come home. I…I mean I want to live with you."

"You don't even have to ask, Gen. My baby stays with me."

"Sap."

"Want me any other way?"

"Nope."

Epilogue:

One Year and Three Months After Genma's Suicide Attempt:

Raidou paced at the gate as Kotetsu and Izumo watched him.

"Iruka bet us that you'd do this," Izumo snickered as Kotetsu snorted, "I refused to take the bet and so did Ko. We know you too well, Rai."

"I'm going after him," Raidou decided, coming to an abrupt halt, "My baby's late."

"By an hour."

Raidou groaned as Kakashi and Iruka idled over to glance at the path the scarred jonin had worn into the ground.

"Still makes Gen late, Iruka," Raidou hissed, "I should have gone with him."

"Genma's been fine on his team missions, Rai," Kakashi pointed out, "He's healed. You can't swaddle him forever. He's been cleared for field duty for months and I've seen him on missions. The man is professional and deadly. He's good, Raidou."

"This is his first solo mission since…since before," Raidou fretted, "I'm not trying to swaddle Gen…I just…he's my baby and I worry for him despite knowing he can handle himself just fine."

"Good to know, Fuss Budget."

Raidou stiffened and whirled to see Genma smirking at him from the gate with his senbon in place and wearing the leather arm guards that the scarred jonin had special made for his lover. The arm guards fit like fingerless gloves, but stretched to Gen's elbows with hidden pockets for Gen's favorite weapons and were a regular part of Genma's attire now whether on duty or not. The guards didn't interfere with movement and covered the hints of the scars on Gen's wrists while providing protection. The whole picture was fucking hot. Genma was still damn gorgeous and home so Raidou wanted to hug the man close, but shinobi's didn't do that in public.

"Iruka, here is my report," Genma blurted, handing the chunin some paperwork while Iruka nodded at the man in thanks, "Mission went without a hitch. Rai, get over here and take me home. I want food. Let's go."

Raidou knew he bounced when he bounded over to his lover. He heard the titters of his friends, but Genma was home and safe…and frisky once behind closed doors.

"Mm," Raidou hummed as his lover deepened the kiss before pulling back to suck on his neck, "Missed me, hm?"

"Yes," Genma agreed, straddling Raidou's hips on the couch, "I'm ready, Rai."

Raidou sobered and hugged his slightly smaller boyfriend close. They hadn't been intimate beyond heavy make out sessions since the rapes. Genma hadn't been able to handle that.

"I'm ready, Rai," Genma repeated, bucking his hips against his lover's, "I'm not scared anymore. This is the last step. This ends what they did to me. I'm not theirs. I never was. I'm yours, Rai. Make me yours."

"Only mine," Raidou insisted, pulling Genma closer, "You tell me if I need to stop. I always will, Baby. I will stop no matter what if you get frightened."

"I trust you," Genma whispered, "You're my Rai and my Rai will never hurt me again. I know that."

The scarred jonin grinned as his hands roved. Raidou cherished every grunt and moan he teased from his lover as he rocked deep into Genma once they'd finally moved to the bedroom. They fit and moved together perfectly, but there were certain unspoken rules. Never confine Genma when being intimate, especially by the wrists. Never, ever against a hard surface. Do not hold those lithe hips with both hands. Allow Genma to lead.

"I'm not frightened of any of this anymore," Genma sighed once they lay sated and Raidou did his traditional inspection and kissing of the fading scars on each of Gen's wrists, "Thank you, Rai."

"For what?" Raidou questioned, leaning over his lover, "For the sex? I thank you, Baby."

"No, Silly," Genma laughed, "For loving me even when I was broken. For helping me find myself again. For helping me learn to be a part of a family with my oneesan and otouto. For letting me go enough to be a shinobi again. For never giving up on me as I put myself back together."

"Just like you never gave up on me when I got a little lost," Raidou reminded, taking Genma's hand to lay on his scarred cheek, "As cheesy as this sounds, Baby, you complete me. You give me a reason to get through missions. I love you."

"I love you more," Genma purred, flipping Raidou onto his back, "My turn, Rai."

"Anything my baby wants," Raidou chortled, seeing the teasing glint in his partner's eyes.

"Always being labeled," Genma chuckled as Raidou glanced to him in question, "Only you are allowed to give me titles, Rai. I like being your baby."

"Be my baby forever," Raidou blurted, sitting up to gather Genma close, "Marry me. Be mine and bear my name beside of yours."

Genma stared at the other man in shock before relaxing with a grin.

"I can do that," Genma nodded out, pushing his gleeful Raidou back down to the pillow, "I said…my turn, Rai."

Genma cuddled his fiancé close after their love making, watching Raidou sleep. This man. This perfect man that wanted him, flaws and all, always labeled him. Cherished, wanted, adored, loved, needed, trusted, and the list went on.

"Genma Shiranui-Namiashi, husband of Raidou Namiashi," Genma tested out in his mind, "Now that's the perfect label. I can live with that."

And Genma did until the end of his time which was when he was old and grey with his husband right beside him. It was good to be who he was…very good.

The end.

Thank you for reading and reviewing.