Please take note of the change in rating - up to M because now it's not just talk. We have ebineez01 to thank for this chapter - originally chapter 1 was a one shot, but then she suggested a possible way out of Jack's pain. And since I just *love* John, here he is. Mentioning Australia is my way to thank you, ebi. So is the style of this. Would never have happened if it wasn't for the stuff you write. Love. t.

"Jack!"

"John."

They looked at each other for another beat, and then Jack moved in. Grabbing John's head he kissed him fiercely, forcing him back into the house and against the first wall he could find. They fought for dominance all through that first kiss, and it ended when John got the upper hand and swung them around, slamming Jack into the wall this time. Pinning him there he panted:

"Nice to see you too."

Jack let his head fall back against the wall.

"Sydney? Really?"

John drew back a little.

"What?! I like the city. I happen to like this planet! But what brings you here?"

Jack kept his eyes on his ex partners' while he reached for John's belt.

"You."

John sagged against him.

"Not losing any time are you?"

"Are you complaining?"

John grinned.

"Nope."

"Good. So shut up."

So there wasn't any talk between them as Jack made quick work of John's pants, pushing his own out of the way and spinning John around.

"Down."

John dropped to his hands and knees. A moment later he felt Jack's iron grip on the back of his neck, and another moment later he was entered. Forcefully.

"Argh, good Lord, Jack!"

"What, now you are complaining?"

"Fuck you, Harkness. Just rein it in a little, will you?"

"No, I won't. Deal with it", Jack growled as he pulled out and thrust back in, setting a furious pace. He simply kept thrusting into the only person in the universe he could do this to, not caring about John's pain, forgetting for a brief moment about his own. John ground his teeth trying to cope, but he felt dizzy and sick and he could tell he wouldn't stand it for long. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was fighting the tears. He cried out despite his best effort not to – and that was what sent Jack over the edge. John collapsed under him, tears on his face now and his whole body shaking, and he knew he'd never been this grateful for another person's release.

Jack pulled out and moved away from John, dropping onto his back on the floor. John lay with his back to him, his face hidden in his arms. Jack felt like the worst scum that had ever come through the rift, and still he felt relief. Which only served to increase his guilt. He ran his hands through his hair. What was he supposed to say? I'm sorry? He was, but John would probably explode into his face. Jack propped himself up to look at him. Shallow breathing, sweat covered skin. Oh God, this was so wrong. He gently touched his shoulder.

"John?"

"Just...a moment. I just need...a moment."

Jack really didn't know what to do. The thought that at least John was conscious briefly crossed his mind. He didn't see it coming when John's fist connected with his face. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it he looked at him, a familiar pain telling him his cheek bone had given way.

"You motherfucking self absorbed bastard", John was hissing at him, lower lip bloody – no doubt from his own teeth – and cradling his left hand with his right. Jack could already feel his cracked bones set themselves, the pain shifting from his cheek to his temple. He'd have that headache for a while. He reached out for John's face, wiping the blood from the other man's lip with his thumb as carefully as he could, but still John flinched at the contact. Jack leaned in, completely aware of the fact that John would probably either head butt or bite him or both. He stilled millimeters from John's mouth. When nothing happened he closed the distance. A mere brushing of his lips against John's, caressing the spot where the soft skin had been torn. John's eyes closed.

"I hate you, Jack Harkness."

"I know."

Jack kissed him a little harder, but still trying to avoid causing him too much pain.

"I'm going to bed. Join me or not. Don't care."

Jack sat on the floor looking at the bed room door after it had closed. What the hell was he doing. He closed his eyes. He should go. Get out and leave John alone. Taking his own pain and frustration out on the other time agent had helped – for like two seconds. Now he felt worse than ever, and he realized he wanted to be on the other side of that door. Talk about self absorbed. He got up and opened the door, leaning against the door frame.

"You want me here?"

"Like I said. Couldn't care less."

Why on earth did that hurt? Because Jack cared. He wanted to be there. He wanted John in his arms. He knew he should turn and run, but instead he pushed off the door frame and closed the door behind himself.

~o0o~

Jack woke with a start. He'd never meant to fall asleep in the first place. Hell he hadn't even intended to be still there. He turned and found John looking at him, expression unreadable. Jack still didn't know what to say. And John leaning in and placing a kiss on his chest didn't help with that problem. Nor did John's skilled mouth traveling south. Jack closed his eyes. It was so easy to imagine it was someone else...the Doctor's hands on his body, his mouth on his skin. Jack turned onto is side, hoping so badly John would accept the offer, feeling guilty again for what he had done. He'd used John the night before, and he was about to do it again, albeit differently. A strong skilled hand trailing down his side and between his cheeks. He couldn't help his muscles tensing as he thought back to last night. John snorted out a laugh.

"Don't worry. I'm not as broken as you are, Jack."

John's hand was gone and then back, slick with whatever he'd chosen to use, and Jack relaxed and pushed back against that hand, taking him, caressing him.

"You want me inside you?"

"Yes, John. Please!"

When he felt John's cock stretch his hole he almost wished for pain, because this was too good, too intimate. He so didn't deserve this. He felt John's hand grip his hip, holding him in place as he buried himself in Jack. And all the time he felt John move inside him, so familiar and so good, he kept thinking of the Doctor.

~o0o~

"So who is it?"

Jack opened his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"You barely said two words and I could tell you weren't really here with me. Well I'm not complaining since clearly your best part was here, but still..."

"I needed you because you're the only one who knows me. The only one who can take it."

"So I'm right. I served a purpose."

"And magnificently so."

John rolled his eyes.

"Glad I could help. So you were thinking of someone else."

"I didn't actually do too much thinking at all."

They both knew it wasn't true, but John knew better than to keep pushing. How many times had he been thinking of Jack while being with someone else... So in the grand scheme of things – it was probably only fair.

TBC