Lavellan's POV
I wake in the middle of the night; to find my body so sore it is beyond description. I look around and see no one, but when I look down to myself, I see Solas. I smile, for seeing his face again fills my heart with joy. I reach out to touch him, only to stop half way. I cannot, I remind myself, not without risking waking him. He's fallen asleep next to the bed. Most likely he was afraid to harm me in his sleep. Oh my love...I'm sorry. Quietly and gently I remove my hand from his, and stand up from the bed, careful not to trip over him as I do. My armour is missing, but I guess that's understandable. In truth it's better this way. I will be quieter.
I struggle to walk, my lungs are burning, my ribs feel broken, but I continue. I cannot be here, not now...it is not safe. Gradually, I make my way to the eluvian, arriving just before sunrise. I hold myself up using the mirror's frame as a crutch, and stare into the sky. "May this sunrise bring light into this darkening world." I say aloud as I step through the mirror, and into the crossroads. As quick as I can, I stagger to Morrigan's eluvian and tumble through onto the other side...
There is chaos around me, on the other side of the eluvian. My consciousness fades in and out. I can hear Morrigan's voice shouting down into the courtyard for help. She sounds so concerned. What could be so wrong? I think, as I try to look around...but I can't. Why? I can barely keep my eyes open…soon I black out, only to wake up in my bed.
"What in the world, did you get yourself into Inquisitor?" Morrigan asks from the corner of the room.
"What do you mean?" I add, as I try to sit up. I am immediately met with agonizing pain across my body. Suddenly realizing that even my eyes feel heavy and sore. "What's wrong with me Morrigan?" I look to her with concern.
"Tis impossible to tell. You're body's fine, but...you might like to see it for yourself." she moves a standing mirror next to the bed, and motions for me to remove my covers.
Looking into the mirror I am met with a grim, dull face, but still, I do as she suggests. I gasp loudly, as I remove the covers from my body. What happened? I think shocked as I look down at my poor body. My skin has bruised all over, purple, blue, and green. My eyes are sunken in, black circles around them. The wounds that have yet to heal from weeks ago are pulled tight to their stitches; veins visible near the surface of my skin.
"What has happened to me Morrigan?" I whisper shakily.
"I know not what has occurred. Tis why I asked you in the first place. When you came through the eluvian, I was a little more then surprised. When I realized it was you, I called for help. Before they could come, you screamed in agony. Screaming at the top of your lungs about your head. "It's killing me" you yelled, "My head is on fire. Help me, please for the love of the gods, help me". I knew not the magic that would heal you, but thankfully I am not the only mage in this castle. Dorian came and heard your screams. He immediately took hold of your head and began to chant some ...spell. It must have worked, because you calmed soon after. However, only moments later you were asleep. We couldn't get anything out of you. The only thing I could understand was something about the Dred Wolf."
"So I ask again Inquisitor, what in gods name were you up to?" She asks again.
"I...I died, and Solas brought me back to life with an ancient elven spell. I know it sounds crazy... but it happened. I don't remember much, but I do remember being stabbed, here" I place my hand on my side to feel where the blade had pierced me. There is a bandage covering it now, they must have found it.
"I will let you sleep, and give Dorian the information. He wanted to know why your wounds weren't healing. Was the blade poisoned perhaps? I wonder... Alas, I will leave you now to your rest, Inquisitor." Morrigan says as she leaves, her footsteps echoing across the room.
I close my eyes and drift to sleep. That night there was a noise in my room. I groggily open an eye, and see nothing but darkness. The room comes into view slowly, and as I survey it, I see nothing. I look again and see movement over by the fireplace. There is a figure standing there, leaning against it. Hiding slightly in the shadow of the light.
"Why did you do it? You knew you were safer with me than here. No one knows the arts of healing as well as I do Vhenan." He turns from the shadows and into the dim light of the fire. His face is lit by the firelight, making his features appear sharp and melancholy.
"Was what I did for you not enough to show you that I care? You meant to destroy everything I had worked on for years. You threatened it so greatly that I couldn't bear to be close, for fear I might change my mind. Even though you could change everything, I still could not let you die. And yet still you ran away from me in the darkness of the night?" Solas says with a sting in his voice.
I hold the covers tight to my body, covering as much of my face and neck as possible. I don't want him to see me this way, to appear as a walking corpse. But, he cannot be real. Solas is far from here. How could he enter the castle without anyone knowing? "Go away spirit, you have no sway over me here. Be gone." I say firmly as I wave my hand in his direction. I close my eyes, and open them slowly. He is still there, unmoved from the fireplace.
"I am no spirit ma vhenan. I am here, as much as you are there laying in that bed across from me. Now answer me, because I need to know. Why did you run from me?" He walks away from the fireplace, and closer to the bed until he is sitting next to my legs.
"I…couldn't let you see me. Not like this. I couldn't let you hear the pain exploding inside of me." my voice cracks as I speak.
"Ar lath ma (I love you) ma vhenan, why would you not allow me to comfort you in your suffering? To heal your wounds, body and soul? What are you afraid of me seeing?" He places his hand on my leg gently, but even gently it stings. The nerves across my body have become so sensitive; every movement has become difficult to bear. He sees me tensing up as he touches me and pulls away his hand.
"Did you run away in fear?" he adds while looking away.
"No! I am in pain my love. My body was dead. Do you not understand? My flesh rotted while I was away from my body. The muscles began to pull away from my bones, the nerves in my skin died and my blood thickened. I am left to try to mend this, on my own. Who would want their love to stare at their dead body? I do not want to see pity in your eyes when you look at me. I want to see love, and desire...but not pity and sadness."
"You will never see pity in my eyes when I look at you ma vhenan. You should have stayed where you were. I could have healed you faster. Your body would have had rest, and you wouldn't have had to let others touch and prod your body. What could be so bad?" He asks agitated, maybe even jealous?
Why doesn't he understand? I think, "This, could be so bad Solas." I say as I pull the covers away from my body and expose my bruises to him. He stares at me while standing still, and unmoving. I've done it, suddenly devastated at my actions. I disgust him. This is the first time he's seen so much of my body and he will forever think of me as a walking corpse. I quickly pull the covers back over me, red faced. "Just leave Solas. My body will heal eventually, and I will return to hunting you down." I say with a huff
His face softens as he reaches for my hand. "Now why would I have come here myself if I had no desire to be here? I came here to take care of you, so let me." he kisses my hand lightly as a warm feeling passes from his hands and into mine. The bruises begin to heal.
I open my eyes to the morning light. It shines through the stain glass windows like that of a church. I look around the room in search for Solas, but he is not there. "Solas?" I say weakly. The room remains silent…But, he was here, wasn't he? I slowly sit up in my bed, and notice that my body is less sore then other days. I have been resting now for almost a week now, so maybe he was just in my head?