A/N: If you're unfamiliar with the acronym, F.I.N.E. stands for Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional, yet oddly the song of the same name didn't inspire this fic, a Seinfeld episode did. In case you haven't figured it out, Johnny messing with Pike is one of my favorite things.

I'm in edit mode for, "Bloodstains on My Hands." It's angsty...really angsty, but I promise there are some lighter moments (flashbacks) ahead. But until then, my brain needed a break. So enjoy and let me know what you think.

Paige pulled her final birthday gift out of the box and looked at Mike strangely. "You got me a skull? Should I be concerned?" Why would he buy her a calavera? She didn't celebrate the Day of the Dead. It also wasn't anywhere near October.

The room was filled with an awkward silence as the rest of their roommates waited for Mike to explain his choice in gifts.

"It's tequila," Mike explained.

"Tequila?" Paige asked. Alcohol? He seriously bought her alcohol for her birthday? Her annoyance level rose with each passing second. Could he have picked a more impersonal gift? Why not get her a gift card or something? Forcing a smile on her face, she put it back in the box and shoved the lid on. "Maybe we can do shots later or something."

"I have a feeling they won't be body shots," Johnny muttered.

"Johnny!" Charlie said, smacking him on the arm.

Johnny glared at her as he rubbed his arm. "You think they will be? Cause if they are, I want to see that."

Paige rolled her eyes at Johnny's immaturity, but he was right. Mike was not getting anywhere near her tonight.

"At least it's good tequila," Jakes said. "Levi, I want whiskey for my birthday."

Paige started shoving the rest of her gifts back in the gift bags. "Alcohol's such a versatile gift. Great for all occasions and all roommates." Especially the one he was sleeping with. Apparently.

Mike stepped closer to her, and lowered his voice, "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you? It's not like you forgot my birthday." Paige held up the box, "You even wrapped my gift." She wondered how much of a scene it would cause if she threw that skull at Mike. So maybe they weren't dating, but they had been sleeping together for weeks. And all he could come up with to get her was tequila? Okay, so she had to admit the bottle looked pretty cool, but still. Tequila? That could've been a gift from anyone. Jakes could've given this to her and she would've been happy. But instead he got her a pair of sunglasses because he knew she lost hers the week before. He even went to three stores to find her the exact same pair. Mike went to the corner liquor store. Probably picked up her gift while on a liquor run for Bello.

"Look, can we talk privately?" Mike asked. "I feel like I need to explain."

Paige tightly smiled at him, "Explain what? It's fine."

Everyone groaned at Paige's choice in words. Everything was not fine. "Come on MIkey, it's like you've never dated a girl before," Johnny said.

"We're not dating," MIke and Paige answered in unison.

Just because they were sleeping together, didn't mean they were dating. They were friends. Friends with benefits. But good enough friends that Mike should've been able to come up with a better gift than a fifth of tequila. Did he know her at all? Was that how he saw her? Just some party girl? She wasn't expecting a diamond bracelet or anything like that. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was expecting something that showed he knew her.

Briggs laughed, "You say that now."

Paige glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Right, keep saying that enough and maybe it'll be true. Mike, I know you have your own room, but you want might want to sleep downstairs tonight. No guns are allowed downstairs, but you might want to keep it under your pillow just for tonight. Or if you stay in your room, lock your bedroom door because your girl is pissed. Paige might say things are fine, but she's pissed."

Paige turned to face Johnny. Maybe she was trying to avoid an argument with Mike in front of everyone, but she didn't need to avoid fighting with Johnny. "I'm not his girl," Paige said, stepping closer to Johnny.

"The lady doth protest too much," Briggs added.

"Stay out of it," Paige said.

"I'm just pointing out, more so for his benefit than yours, that you two had a good thing going. But I'm wondering - Mike, he wasn't like a virgin or anything before you?"

"Oh my God," Paige muttered in disbelief. This conversation was really happening. It was like a bad dream. Or one of those reality shows. If this wasn't a house filled with undercover agents, she'd be looking for the camera crew right about now.

"No!" Mike defensively said, motioning for Paige to speak up. "I was not a virgin!"

"Was it like a dry spell or something?" Johnny asked. "Because if you screwed up this badly, I'm wondering how you ever get laid. This is worse than you burning Hector's."

It was her birthday. The guy she had been sleeping with bought her tequila and this conversation was never going to end unless she defended Mike's sexual prowess. She was going to kill him. But not right now. First she had to deal with Johnny. Paige patted Johnny's chest, "Trust me Johnny, he definitely wasn't a virgin. Far from blushing too. The first time we slept together he - "

"Okay, okay," Johnny said. "So he wasn't a virgin, but he still screwed up."

"Should you be this interested in our sex life?" Mike asked.

Now he could speak? After she defended his manhood, he found his voice? "Shouldn't you?" Paige asked, grabbing her things and heading upstairs. "Charlie, do you want to go out? Just the two of us? Impromptu girls night?"

"Sure, if you want," Charlie said, darting her eyes to Mike. "I thought - "

"Great, I'll let you know when I'm ready," Paige called over her shoulder.

Mike caught up with her on the stairs, "Look, I know you're mad."

"Why didn't you just give me cash? Or better yet, you could've taken me to the shooting range!"

"Did you want cash?" Mike asked as Paige continued to sprint up the stairs. This night was not going as planned. His uncertainty and hesitation about labeling their thing made him screw things up. He knew what kind of gift to get his roommate. Knew what kind of gift to get his girlfriend. Knew what to get a co-worker. But he had no clue what to get the girl he was sleeping with that wasn't his girlfriend but was his roommate and co-worker. This was one of those things he wished was covered in the FBI manual. Or in any manual. Sleeping with your roommate for Dummies or something.

Paige stopped in front of her bedroom, "No, I didn't want cash! Fuck, I just wanted something, I don't know. Just something that you didn't pick up at a liquor store!"

Mike placed his hand on the doorknob, "I'm sorry, I just - everything's all mixed up with us. I thought..." His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "Look, let me make it up to you."

Paige sighed and turned so she was leaning against the door. "Mike, it's fine. Really."

Fine.

There was that word again. Paige wasn't fine, she was livid. And unless he fixed it, he was going to be sleeping alone for the foreseeable future. "Let me take you out tonight." He'd take her to one of those clubs he hated because he couldn't hear himself think. He wouldn't complain once if she kept him on the dance floor all night. Maybe he should've done that in the first place. "Anywhere you want to go."

"I'm going to go out with Charlie. Blow off some steam."

He had a flash of jealousy at the thought of Paige blowing off steam with someone else. Not that she didn't have the right. They still hadn't officially had any sort of talk. But they were exclusive. They spent so much time together, they didn't have time for other people. But he hated the idea of Paige turning to some other guy because he overthought things. Mike stepped closer, effectively caging her body against the door.

"Mike..." Paige placed her hand on his chest, breathing his name out slowly. "I'm annoyed right now, but I'll get over it. I really want to go out with Charlie tonight. You can grovel tomorrow. And I expect a lot of groveling."

"Duly noted." Mike stepped back and Paige rolled her eyes when he didn't make a move to leave. She turned around and opened the door and turned on the light. He stood behind her, waiting for her reaction. Maybe he messed up downstairs, but he was hoping this would help make things right.

The six of them had gone out to dinner together, but he was the last one to leave the house, pretending he had an important call to take from Bello. As soon as she left, he hung up countless strands of white Christmas lights in her room, messing with the cords so when she turned on her lamp they would light up. Left her a bouquet of flowers on her nightstand. Orchids, because they were her favorite. There were other flowers in the arrangement, but he had no clue what they were. He just told the florist that anything but roses was okay. He felt like just getting her flowers was pushing his luck. A dozen red roses would send her running. Although, the tequila he had given her earlier, almost did just that.

"Happy Birthday," Mike whispered, pressing his lips to the back of her neck.

Paige turned around and smacked his chest. Laughing, he grabbed her wrist and she backed up, pulling him into her room with her. "I hate you. What was all of that downstairs?"

"Aside from a bad idea? That was me trying to keep things friendly." Mike reached for her hands, lacing their fingers together. He didn't really want to have this conversation now, but he wanted her to understand that he saw her as more. More than a hookup. More than his roommate. Friend. Coworker. But he also wanted to be respectful of the fact that he was clear on the rules of their arrangement. But the lines were so blurred between them. Paige wasn't just someone he hooked up with. They spent a lot of time together. Between work and living together and their thing, it was hard to just see her as a casual hookup. But they weren't dating. "I wasn't sure how to celebrate. When it's just us, things are different. And we're not technically dating..." Mike's voice trailed off and he lifted their joined hands to kiss hers. "It's your birthday and I wanted to make tonight special for you, but I didn't need everyone involved. I hope all this is okay."

He nervously waited for her reaction. He had been into Paige the first night he saw her. And now that they were together, but not technically together, he was more into her than he thought he would be. He wasn't sure how much longer he could go on sleeping with her, but not dating her. He wanted to revisit their earlier talk about their arrangement, but tonight definitely wasn't the time to do it.

"It's fine. And this time, I really do mean it's fine." Paige finally noticed the envelope on her bed and she opened it, pulling out a pair of concert tickets. "I can't believe you got tickets! I tried getting tickets but this sold out in twenty minutes. Thank you!"

Mike smiled, happy he got her real birthday gift right. "I know how much you wanted to go."

Paige set the tickets on her nightstand and motioned to the picnic baskets in front of her bed. "I'm guessing you have something else planned, but why are there two picnic baskets?"

"One is more casual. The other is a little more..." Mike hesitated, not wanting to use the word romantic.

Without waiting for him to finish, Paige started rifling through both baskets, pulling a bottle of wine and wine glasses from one and putting them in the other. "We'll have a casual more picnic."

Mike walked over to her, circling his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. He settled his lips on her neck as his fingers toyed with the hem on her shirt. "Are you still going out with Charlie?"

Paige turned around and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. "I changed my mind. I think I'll stay in. Blow off some steam. Maybe take a midnight swim. Have a moonlit picnic with a hot guy. Do you think Johnny's free?"

Mike shook his head. "I think he's busy."

Paige hooked her fingers on his belt loop, pulling him closer. "What about you? You free?"

"I'm all yours."

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google kah reposado if you want to see the tequila bottle Mike bought Paige. It's good tequila.