Confusion passed over the face of the male nurse. Firstly, he was surprised that she'd even allowed what was troubling her to spill from her lips. His previous attempts to see how the icy woman ticked had all been certain failures.

He cocked his head, moving on to try and suss the situation. "Jac..." He paused. His voice had trailed into nothingness as he took a moment to survey the woman in front of him. Over the years he'd known he'd known her, he'd grown familiar with her body, every freckle and scar, no matter how intimate, was catalogued in his memory. But he rarely saw her like this. There was pain in her eyes, of this he was certain. "Who died?" The words felt heavy and forcing them from his mouth tired him, a sigh swiftly followed as he saw the reaction he'd caused in her eyes. For a moment her gaze met his before she sharply turned her head, staring stubbornly at the floor.

"It doesn't matter." The words fell flat. "It doesn't matter to me. I'm fine."

"That's a lie." He pressed softly, expecting a volatile reaction. "You're not yourself, Jac."

Suddenly she was hissing, a torrent of angry words spat in his direction. "And how would you know? How the hell would you know, Jonny!? You don't know me. You gave up on me!"

"Hey-!" He reached out. Softly, he placed a hand on her arm. This was different from her normal defence mechanism. Sure, she was trying her hardest to hit out at him, scare him off, but at the same time the woman beneath the ice plated armour was clear to see. "I'm trying to help, Jac." His softly spoken words juxtaposed her angry snarl. "I'm not giving up on you now. Who died?"

This time the repeated question was met by a troubled silence. With a sharp intake of breath she lifted her head to look towards him. He froze, standing as still as a stone as he allowed her to scan his expression. He barely dared to breathe- it felt as if the smallest movement would be enough to spook her, like a wild fawn, and cause her walls to smash back up. It wasn't until her eyes flickered down to his hand which lightly caressed her arm until words finally left her mouth.

"Joseph Byrne."

The world seem to freeze as air flooded into her lungs and out with a dizzying pace. She stumbled back one step, and then another, breaking the tenuous contact she'd had with her previous partner. She couldn't bare the look on his face, it reminded her of the mask he wore when talking to the most vulnerable of their patients. It was kind, it was compassionate, hell it was almost understanding. It made her feel broken.

"Don't." The word fell out wrong, it was heavy and the way her tone twisted and broke would only draw him further in.

Another layer of concern filtered into his eyes as she choked out the singular word. He tilted his head. Normally, he had no trouble talking, he could happily chat away the most boring of graveyard shifts if he had a decent companion. He brought the hand which no longer held her arm up to his chin, rubbing it as he tried to summon the correct words. "Don't what, Jac? Come on, sit down, calm down now-"

He took a step towards her and she balked, her back against the wall. Her eyes were scrunched shut, acute pain on her face. He watched with growing concern.

She tried to slow her rapid gasping, appalled by the lack of control. She closed her eyes to hide Jonny's shocked expression. Ah- slowly the rising and falling of her chest reached an acceptable level. He was standing close by.

"Don't get yourself worked up." Joseph scolded gently. "That's my job, remember?"

Jonny frowned as he watched Jac's panic stricken expression smoothen out into an almost smile.

"Sorry." She said the words lightly, with a hint of mirth.

Jonny's frown deepened- he didn't understand. "Jac?" He called her name softly, daring to take another step closer.

"Careful." Joseph murmured to close to her ear. His voice was soft and smooth, like velvet or honey. She kept her eyes shut, Jonny at the back of her mind as she clung to the delusion. "You're worrying the nurse. You do surprise me, I never would've thought he was your type."

"And what is my type? Anal retentive heart surgeons, Joe?" She whispered, closing her eyes tighter as her heart lurched while she considered the scene Jonny was watching.

"Shh!" Now there was worry and sorrow in the fellow doctor's voice. "You can't keep on doing this, Jac. I'm sorry- I'm so sorry. You'll be okay in the end."

Her eyes flew open. Jonny stood least than a meter in front of her. "What was that?" He stared into the depths of her emerald eyes. "What were you saying?"

She gulped. "Nothing. You can go now." She pushed herself away from the wall and attempted to dart away from him.

"No-" He shook his head, taking hold of her arm with a grip that caused her no physical harm but prevented her from achieving the escape she'd been striving towards. He spoke again with a kind sternness. "You need to talk. You can try and push me away all you like but I'm not going to leave." He swallowed apprehensively. "Speak to me. I will not allow you to bottle this up, you hear me?"

She looked towards the hand which gripped her arm with wide eyes. She felt uneasy around Jonny while he was this determined, with a quick shake of her head she snarled. "Out of all people, why would I tell a Nurse?"

The snide remark bounced off him and he smiled. Then chuckled. She winced as she heard the sound, he must've been expecting her to react this way. "Because we have history, Jac." He spoke with a softness that hurt.

She wished he'd scream at her, at least then she'd be able to understand.

"I've seen behind that great big ice queen façade. You're a brilliant actress." He paused for a moment, his eyes flickering over her face as he tried to interpret her reaction. "But I can see through it, you know? I know, deep down, who you really are." He swallowed again, uncomfortably as he spotted the signs of the woman, who loved to pretend she was infallible, was crumbling. "I know you're hurting."

"Don't!" The words didn't sound like her own. They sounded desperate and pleading and everything she despised. There was an uncomfortable lump in her throat that prickled and caused her eyes to shine with unshed tears. "I am fine!" The first tear spilled over, forming a painfully ironic track across her porcelain skin.

He took a moment, carefully considering, before he guided her to the seldom used sofa. He sat down and gently pulled her next to him. The world outside the office door had been completely forgotten.

She allowed him to lead her as a familiar numbness started to creep over her body. She didn't have the energy to force him to leave, in terms of stubbornness he almost encroached on her title

"You're not fine." He mumbled against her hair, pulling her against his chest. "But that's okay. No one would expect you to be able to shrug this off."

She sniffed, finally giving in as she allowed him to soothe her. She'd been aching for this, the company of another human, someone who could help her with the burden. Of course, that was something she never would have admitted.

He took hold of her hand, playing absentmindedly with it as he talked, gently bending her nimble digits. He had always loved her hands, they were the tools of her trade, they saved countless lives. "You are going to get through this though, I know you will."

She turned her head, hiding her face she burrowed it against his chest. He started to softly rub her back.

"You and Joseph were pretty serious." He commented, listening out for her reaction.

When she finally spoke the words were muffled. Her body shuddered with a shaky breath, she felt blood rush closer to the surface of her cheeks. "I didn't know love before I met him."

He sighed sadly, he knew that life has been less than fair on her. "Och, Jac. What are we going to do with you?" He looked down at the woman who lay against him. He hadn't seen her like this before. Had Joseph ever seen the woman they both cared for broken like this? He exhaled loudly as he considered the dead man who'd so successfully crumbled the consultant's defences.

Jac remained in silence, the visible evidence of her surge of emotion in the process of fading away. Eventually she broke the silence with a sigh. "The ward needs me."

Jonny relinquished his hold on her frame but still shook his head in disapproval. He spoke carefully, testing the water. "I don't think that's your best idea."

"Excuse me?" She arched an eyebrow pointedly, her reply immediate. "Are you questioning my professional capability?"

He held his hands up in an attempt to smooth the situation over. "No, no, of course not. I was just thinking that perhaps you'd be a wee bit more comfortable at home? It's been a tough day." He smiled nervously.

"My shift hasn't finished. Why on earth would I leave now?" She'd sprung to her feet and now stood in front of him, hands on hips, her walls firmly up.

"Because-" The nurse's voice twisted incredulously, his eyes large with exasperation and disbelief. "You're clearly not okay!"

A flicker of emotion passed over her features, faster than he could read. "I've told you, I'm fine." She spoke through gritted teeth, spitting out her most used lie.

He had to give her credit, if he hadn't seen her early display he would've fallen for it. He must've registered the simple words as truth dozens of times before. After all, her act was well rehearsed. "Stop lying to me." Sternness entered his tone. He took a deep breath to prepare himself. The words left his mouth quickly, tumbling out with passion and nerves. "You were mumbling, talking to him, Jac! How do you think that bloody looked? I know that you're hurting!"

She flinched, meeting his eyes with a stoic silence. He grimaced, his tone becoming a little softer as he observed.

"If anyone else had seen that-" He sighed, looking to the floor as he shook his head. "Well it's just, people aren't that understanding. You know?"

"Understanding of what, Jonny?" There was a distinct lack of emotion in her voice, judging by his reaction he was unnerved.

"You're grieving." He spoke carefully, his tone level. "A certain... lack of rationality is expected."

"I thought everyone already knew." Her hands clenched into tight fists and she turned her head to stare at the door, her escape route. Her voice became louder, twisted by bitterness. "I'm bonkers, Jonny. Everyone has always said it. I'm fucking crazy!"

"No, no-" He mumbled and tried to reach her, his eyes wide and expression shocked. "No one thinks that!"

But it was too late. She forced the door open, allowing it bang heavily against the wall then bounce on its hinges. Her eyes met his briefly before she turned away, breathing out shakily as she made her exit.

He watched her fiery hair flicker over her shoulder as she fled the office, before sinking down on the sofa. He leant forwards and put his head in his hands, a stream of profanities crossing his mind.

Mo cleared her throat from her position in the open door frame.

He flinched, quickly lifting his head. He sighed in relief once he realised it had only been his friend who'd been lurking.

"Blood hell, Mo." He brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing the stubble in a state of unease. "How long, exactly, have you been standing there?"

"Since the ginger twiglet stormed out." She crossed the threshold and sat next to him on the sofa which he'd previously occupied with Jac.

Unlike the other woman, Mo was easy to read. He half smiled. Being with Jac was so draining, a constant uphill struggle. Mo was simple and kind and nice. Her company offered a well needed spot of relaxation. "You couldn't have said anything sooner?"

"I could've." She tilted her head with a lazy smirk. "But you were doing a brilliant job of maintaining your position. I was judging whether you'd be a serious threat in an Effanga family musical statues tournament."

He shook his head with a laugh he was unable to prevent. "Oh shut up, mate."

Mo's smile slipped a little as she watched. "I trust your little intervention didn't go to plan?"

Jonny sighed, looking around the impersonalised office. "I was getting somewhere, I really was! But then she just closed up and I'm back at square one."

"Some people just can't be helped." She looked out through the door frame to the ward. After a moment she summoned her smile to return, leaning back to look at Jonny with a smug smirk. "You know I'd hate to say I told you so?"

Jonny rolled his eyes with an uncomfortable smile. "Of course you would."

Thank you for reading! I hope everyone has a lovely bank holiday, even if the weather is awful.

If you have time, please review, I appreciate each one! :)