A/N: Thank you guys for your lovely reviews, faves and fallows… they make me smile. Brace yourselves here it comes ;)
Also! Feel free to find me on tumblr, I'd love to fallow you, share and interact my tumblr name is xishmish
Chapter 2 Good Women. (Paul Thomas Saunders)
If given a life review, Regina had proven to be dauntless. Perhaps in both sides of the spectrum, yet this fact could never be denied. Today seemed to be no different; successfully burying herself with paperwork each morning for the past couple of weeks had kept her half sane. Emma had been her rock for the majority of her life; the one person she could bare her troubles and joy to, the one person who celebrated and called her on her bullshit; her life companion… and well that had been simply taken from her grasp in seconds.
Emma on the other hand felt utterly frustrated; muted and could not dream to succeed at even attempting to get her mind off her wife and children. Downcast and hopeless would currently describe her inner feelings, though she managed to keep her strong poker face exterior as always, but her sad eyes told the tale with no restrains. She was tired of sitting and waiting around… taking bullshit wasn't her style. This morning she would talk to Regina or at least try to coax the other woman to do so.
"Sheriff Mills… Good morning" Said Regina's secretary.
The young woman immediately felt tense; she knew why the woman was here, or at least she thought so… and that goal was the very thing her boss had specifically told her not to allow. Emma observed the behavior and rolled her eyes.
"Look… I know she doesn't want to see me, but I'm not going anywhere without talking to her first"
The younger woman felt for the sheriff. She looked like she had not slept in days, she could feel and see the pain she was dragging around and thinking no one else could perceive.
"Sheriff, I'm so sorry… I truly am but if I let you in… I lose my job. Simple as that" She looked up from her desk right into Emma's green eyes. "I can't afford that… I'm sorry" She finished honestly.
"I need to talk to my wife Jennifer…please" Emma pleaded holding onto the little dignity she had left.
The woman felt truly uncomfortable and simply caught between a rock and a hard place. She fidgeted; and honestly felt bad for the blonde… her chest regretting what her lips needed to out.
"Good morning Jennifer…" Came in from behind Emma.
They both saw the woman approaching.
"Mom… what are you doing here?" Emma said.
Snow smiled and placed her hand on her daughter's arm. A silent sign of support and comfort. The secretary bowed her head lightly. Even after all these years, Storybrooke's citizens still respected and saw the woman as their noble ruler. Snow had stepped down from the Mayor's chair and basically begged and intelligently convinced her daughter in law to take over the position ten years ago.
"Ma'am I really, really can't…" She tried sympathetically. Jennifer knew what Snow would ask of her.
Snow smiled "Actually Jennifer… you have a family emergency, but worry not I will cover for you" The woman winked charmingly. "Go ahead… take as long as you need, I'll speak to Regina" Snow finished peacefully.
Jennifer smiled and nodded, clearly understanding. She stood and walked out.
Emma smiled weakly and gave her mother a soft look. Snow squeezed her arm gently and gave her an approving look.
"Go honey… I'll be here if you need me." Snow finished.
Emma braced herself and simply entered her wife's office without knocking.
Regina sat on her desk as she examined some papers; holding a silver pen between her fingers. She looked up and immediately closed her eyes and took a deep breath; as she released the air from her lungs, she gave Emma dark glare; giving her pen a brief tight grip before putting it down on the expensive surface.
"What are you doing here?" She asked derisively.
Emma felt her heart wrinkle like an old raisin. She swallowed hard and armed herself with valor. The woman before her was her weakness; the love of her life… she was literally her life.
"Regina we need to talk about this… I can't take this anymore, please listen to me" Emma begged with her tired emerald eyes.
Regina bit the inside of her cheek and looked away for a few seconds. Collecting herself was imperative; she was not about to allow Emma to break her, and she knew that Emma could. She blinked quickly a few times pushing back swelling tears and cleared her throat.
"I don't think there's anything to discuss Emma. I saw more than enough, and if I remember correctly… you could not find words to justify your resolve then" She smiled bitterly "Or have you 'regained' your memories?" She finished sarcastically.
Emma took a few steps towards the brunette.
"Don't do that" Regina blurted out coldly.
It was difficult enough to be in the same room with her and not take her in her arms, to make everything disappear and go back to the amazing life they had. If only there were a way… Emma tightened her fists and tried her best to remember. She could do this… she had to; everything depended on it. The answer to her old life was on the tip of her mind… she could reach it. She needed to remember.
She couldn't.
Emma wanted to burst into tears of boiling frustration.
It wounded her but it was a reflect. Seeing the pain Emma was in was not easy; but this was not the case; she wanted to hold her and push her away at the same time.
Emma listened and her feet came to a halt.
"Tell me Emma have you?!" She asked loudly.
Emma took a deep breath, defeat in her eyes. She looked down.
"No I haven't… but Regina you have to believe me!" She tried back with force; she would fight with all she had. "Please believe in me" She continued softly and swallowed hard; almost not believing for sure herself she deserved such plea to be granted.
But there was a gleam inside. A light perhaps, it was the voice of her very own heart… the voice of reason, that faint little thing that can only be felt; the one that is everything you are. She knew she loved her wife with every single atom of her existence, she knew who she was and what she wanted. And she had never wanted anything but the very human across from her. And no one could take away that certainty. Not anyone.
"When people say you never know what you have until you lose it?" Emma scoffed "Well that's the biggest fucking pile of bullshit I've ever heard Regina… I know what I have! I've always known what I have… And I'm not losing it!" She blurted loudly.
Regina quickly reacted and stood from her regal chair.
"Had you mean… because if you think you still have me Emma, you are sorely mistaken" Regina finished staring into the blonde's eyes sternly. Tears glazed them.
Emma's eyes caught up with Regina's and expressed an equal amount of unshed liquid pain.
Emma bit her lip, trying not to break down. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose; trying to regain some ground.
"Regina you're my wife… I love you, I can't even understand the thought of wanting to be with someone else, let alone cheat on you! I feel hopeless… like I'm fighting against a fucking ghost because I don't remember sleeping with this woman! The last thing I remember is being with you" She said softly with a broken voice.
Regina smiled sarcastically as she tried to swallow her own tears. "Well I hope losing your family to a one night stand with a Jane Doe was worth it" Regina closed her eyes as images of that fatidic morning invaded her brain unfairly. She wanted to vomit. She wanted to volt. And Emma was now walking towards her.
"Regina… I swear!"
"I saw you Emma! You were lying naked on a cheap bed at the bed and breakfast!" She tried to fight back "Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel?!" Regina's voice broke.
"I'm Sorry! I am so sorry…" Emma tried ashamed of something she did not have any recollection of; it was unfair… but she also had nothing to give to her wife in justification "I'll say it a thousand times Regina, even if I don't remember getting there… even if I don't remember getting drunk into obliviousness! I don't know how the hell I got there! Please… please believe me" She begged.
"Regina…" The blonde took the brunette's hands in hers and pierced her gaze deeply "The first time I saw you… I loved you…" She whispered finally letting her tears fall in remembrance of that perfect night… Regina closed her eyes; ache plastered all over her stunning face.
"You are everything to me… I can't even describe with words the way you make me feel" She continued to plea; tears falling down her flushed cheeks.
"Look at me baby… please" Emma pouted and whispered as she cried.
Regina opened her dark eyes filled with fallen tears and for a second Emma saw forgiveness, love, compassion… The blonde narrowed the distance and looked down at her perfect lips. By now both women were breathing heavily. She pushed her against the wall; placing both hands on her cheeks. Lips trembling as she narrowed the gap more and more towards crimson red.
Regina felt weak, like a deer caught in the headlights… frightened and exposed. She felt Emma's breath on her lips; she could smell her familiar delicious scent, her warmth… her love… her wife. Emma finally kissed her. She opened her lips and captured Regina's with need. It was gentle yet deep… and brief.
Regina released a fresh badge of tears as she opened her eyes. She pulled away from Emma and could not even look her in the eye. Her body trembled "Don't… touch me" She managed with a broken whisper filled with betrayal… as broken as the look in her eyes.
The beautiful brunette walked passed Emma and stormed out of her own office.
Emma was consumed by her frustration. She hissed, rage bubbling up; picked up a nearby glass vase and threw it against the wall.
Her tired chest heaved rapidly; she placed her hand on said wall and bowed her head. The woman tried to collect herself.
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Walking out of Storybrooke High was Emily, the girl wore black tights and an oversized red blouse; her dark long hair danced beautifully through the wind as she held on to the necklace around her neck. It was Emma's. Her bag hung from her shoulder. Frankie rushed to catch her step.
"Hey Em! Wait up!"
Emily was taken out of her trance and looked over her shoulder.
Frankie was there.
Frankie.
Em smiled as the other girl caught up with her. Her friend wore her swimming team's black jacket and pants.
"Hey… I didn't see you all day" Frankie tried.
"I know… I'm sorry I had a horrible night, I didn't fall asleep until an hour before having to actually wake up" she said kicking an imaginary stone on the ground.
"Shit Em… I'm sorry… What happened?" The taller girl said honestly with a pained look on her face.
"I had a fight with my mom…" She said as they continued to walk down the cold street.
Frankie furrowed her brows and Em simply shook her head "I hate this… I feel like I'm caught in the middle and I don't even know why they're fighting"
"Does that have anything to do with your primitive form of transportation today?" The girl joked in hopes to cheer her friend up.
Em looked up and smiled "You're impossible"
Frankie smiled genuinely at seeing Em light up. "Actually it's kinda lame to be friend's with a princess that has to walk around her kingdom… walking princesses are kind of overrated Em… I mean you have Cinderella walking on glass shoes that shit's hard enough as it is… then Rapunzel doing it hobo style with no shoes... "
Em let out a small laugh. "You're right" She looked down and smiled "I do feel pretty lame to be honest" She said as her lip shivered. Winter was slowly creeping in and her attire was not of much comfort for said condition.
"You're freezing Em here…" Frankie unzipped her jacket and shrugged it off her shoulders, this leaving her only with a black tank top and another red one on top crossed in the back. Emily smiled, for a moment she could only stare at her friend's amazing arms and shoulders.
"Frankie you're going to freeze… don't"
"I'll be ok, I just ran a mile… I'll be plenty warm for a while" She tried.
Em looked at her and narrowed her beautiful brown eyes.
Frankie smiled "I promise… just take it ok…" She said honestly gazing into her eyes.
Emily took it and put the warm garment around her torso.
"Thank you…"
"You're welcome…" Frankie said as she put her hands in her pockets. "You'd make a terrible Elsa" She finished and laughed; Emily quickly punched her arm lightly.
"Ow…" She laughed as she rubbed her shoulder feigning pain. "Nice hook…"
They fell silent after a few minutes, before the air became awkward; Frankie's brained scanned the options quickly. She new nothing she said could actually help Emily feel better, because not even the girl herself knew what was going on. She could offer a bullshit speech of everything's going to be ok, but she hated when people did that when she felt down; as if they could actually feel exactly what you felt. The truth was, she didn't know what Emily was feeling… but all she wanted was to be able to take that feeling away, but she couldn't… all she could do was be there for her. Simply be there. As she was ready to break the silence, Emily joined her. Both girls chimed in simultaneously.
"Em"
"What—"
They laughed.
"Ok, you first" Frankie said.
Emily shrugged her shoulders and smiled "I was going to ask if maybe you wanted to come over to my house tonight… we could hang out… watch a movie maybe?"
Frankie smiled, she swore she felt her heart skip a beat, her piercing blue eyes gazed into Em's gorgeous brown and looked down.
"Sure… I'd love to" Ugh you idiot… 'I'd love to?' She scolded herself mentally.
"Ok… cool" Emily finished.
The girls continued to walk when both heard the sound of a car approaching. They turned to find Emma's black suv. The blonde stopped and got out of the vehicle.
"Ma…" Emily said enthusiastically.
Emma walked towards her daughter and held her. "Hey kiddo" She looked at the other girl "Hey Frankie"
"Hello Mrs. Mills"
Emma grinned "Please just call me Emma… That particular moniker makes me feel old"
"Alright… Emma" Frankie said still quite respectfully.
"Where's your car Em?" The blonde asked casually.
The girl rolled her eyes "Mom took my keys last night"
Emma smiled lightly, her daughter was the spitting image of her other mother and that always made her heart warm.
"She was pretty pissed huh?" Emma asked.
"She was seething…."
"let's go then…" She said as she walked towards the vehicle. "Where to Frankie?"
"Granny's… I told my mom I'd help grandma at the dinner for a couple of hours"
"Alright…"
They all got in, buckled their seatbelts and drove off. One of the common blessings or curse of living in a small town, everything was seconds away from everything. It could be truly suffocating for some; yet for these girls it was simply their home. After a short ride they had arrived at Granny's.
Frankie unbuckled her seatbelt and Emily turned from the passenger seat to look at her.
"Thank you Mrs—Er… Emma" She said and blushed.
"No problem… Please say hi to Red for me…"
"Sure…" Frankie looked at Em once again piercing her with her amazing blues. "I'll see you tonight… text me the time"
Emma quietly observed the interaction through her rearview mirror.
Emily smiled and nodded "Ok… see you tonight"
And just like that Frankie was out of the vehicle.
Emma furrowed her brows and smiled to herself. They drove off.
"Nice jacket Em" Emma tried knowing it didn't belong to her daughter.
The girl looked down and smiled, she had forgotten all about the garment.
"It is…" She simply said.
Emma nodded and continued to look at the road ahead dropping the subject.
"I was thinking we should talk, I know you want to know what happened between your mom and I… and I think you're right, you deserve to know the truth"
"Yeah… Ma I've actually felt like a sheltered baby these past few weeks, I'm not a kid" Emily reasoned.
"I agree… you're a young woman and I'm sorry I hadn't talked to you sooner… I… It's been so difficult and-"
"It's ok ma… you don't have to explain, trust me I know…" The girl finished widening her expressive eyes.
"Em… sometimes it's not easy for parents to look weak in front of their children, I know this is stupid, but believe me it is a thing amongst adults who think they are all knowing. Anyway…"
Emma said as she parked the suv outside of her parent's house where she was picking up baby Jack.
The blonde sighed and looked at her hands, trying to find the courage.
Emily saw her struggle and took her mother's hands in hers. "Hey… ma; relax it's ok…"
"Actually Emily, it's so not ok…" Emma said.
"Ma, you can tell me anything… I promise I'm strong enough to take it, you can trust me…" The girl finished sincerely.
Emma sighed.
"Two weeks ago, I went out on a call… there were some disturbances reported near the high school… So I went to check it out… some windows had been broken, and a wall vandalized… I met with the new principal"
"Ugh… I hate her" Em let out exasperated.
"Em, hate is a strong word…" Emma reasoned.
"Ok, fine… I don't like her… she's a major bitch… anyway, I'm sorry ma, please continue"
Emma furrowed her brows briefly and continued. "After that my memory starts to get foggy… I have mixed images in my head… some don't even make sense, actually the last thing I remember is being with your mom walking somewhere…" The blonde closed her eyes and shook her head, feeling a bit crazy.
Emily attentively listened to her mother speak.
"Em I don't know what happened, but your mom found me the next morning at the bed and breakfast…" She fidgeted and played with her wedding band. She found the courage and looked up "Naked… half unconscious in a bed"
Emily lost her colors, as she felt the blood being drained from her face and limbs, her heart began to race and her chest to heave rapidly.
"What?! Ma please don't tell me you cheated on mom" She finished in disbelief hoping her mother had a better ending for her tale.
"That's the problem Em… I don't know, because I don't remember anything…"
The girl's jaw hit the ground "Ma what the hell!" She tried still giving the blonde the benefit of the doubt; quite frankly she didn't understand… her mothers were sickeningly happy and still very much into each other… that she knew. Emily buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath as she looked around. "Ok… this doesn't make any sense ma, please please tell me you were not seeing someone else behind mom's back before all this went down"
"No! of course not! Emily I love your mother more than anything… she's… she's everything to me, you guys are everything to me I would never jeopardize that… besides… not that you want to know this but I am more than completely satisfied with my wife"
Emily flinched "Ok… ma stop! TRUST me I know you both are."
"I don't know what else to do… she's relentless and shit I mean I understand… I would have lost my mind if it were me, but… I just don't know how to fix this; I don't know what else to do…" Emma finished.
"I swear Emy… I would never hurt your mom like that"
Emily smiled softly "I know ma… I believe you" She said honestly.
Emma felt life come back into her body, the fact that her daughter believed in her; infused brand new hope inside her veins… she could feel the rush take over her body, giving her courage she thought lost.
Emma smiled and her eyes glazed with tears she swallowed back. Her daughter smiled and held her hands again; Emily narrowed the gap and hugged her mother.
"It's going to be ok ma… mom has to come around, she adores you"
"I don't know Em…"
"Ma… you're not a quitter, you guys are the strongest women I know… and I promise, we will help her come around"
"I know it sounds ridiculous, but in this sea of bullshit… I feel just lucky kid, you're kind of amazing"
Emily opened her mouth feeling insulted "Kind of?!"
They both laughed.
"Thank you… I love you Em" Emma said lovingly to her daughter.
"I love you too ma…"
Snow must have been watching them through the window, queuing the conversation, because a few minutes later baby jack ran out the doors and across the green lawn.
"Mama!" He said excitedly.
Emma's heart filled with joy as she got out of the vehicle.
"Hey baby!" She managed as her toddler crashed against her torso while she kneeled down.
Being this close to her children gave the blonde immense hope, hope to open her heart and believe, believe once more… this joy was made of everything that took her back to that night she had fallen madly in love with the fallen queen… the most stunning soul she had ever encountered. The warm tiny boy smiling carelessly in her arms was the proof… all the proof she needed, all the energy she had depleted recently. The gorgeous girl walking towards them with her mother's smile on her face… she felt lucky indeed.
"Hey Jackie boo" Emily said as she too kneeled down.
"Emy!" Jack jumped from Emma's arms into his sister's
Emma stood up as her mother came up behind her.
"How are you feeling honey?"
"Like I can breathe again mom…" Emma said as she watched her children laugh.
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Emma had dropped her kids off at the mansion right before Regina arrived. She wanted to avoid creating any tension the toddler could perceive. Emily took her little brother inside.
He dropped his small backpack on the floor and ran up the stairs.
"Come on Emy! Lets play!" The boy said excitedly with flushed pink cheeks that made his green eyes truly stand out.
"Dude… wait! You're making a mess… Jackie boo mom's gonna freak!" The teenager said as she picked up his back pack and then his shoes.
After fallowing her brother's trail, Em realized she was now upstairs.
"Ok let's play Emy! You can be hulk" The boy ran to his toy chest looking for his giant green hands; a toy flew over his shoulder, then another, and another as he continued to dig deeper "I'll be iron man!" He piped excitedly; his little head deep in the toy chest still searching.
Emily laughed to herself "Ok how about I play a movie for you and while you watch that… I'll go take a shower…"
The boy walked towards his sister and smelled her. She was kneeling down. Em choked a laugh.
"But… you don't stink Emy…" He concluded "Let's play!" he motioned with his hands dramatically…
"Jack… I know I don't… stink, but I have to take a shower because Frankie is coming over later"
His eyes widened and he burst into a fit of excitement "Really?! Ok! I take a shower too and we can play with Fanky!" He said as he began to undress himself quickly.
"Hey… hold it there stripper boy…" Emily joked "How about I give you a bath… and then you can watch a movie while I take my shower…?"
"And then we can play?!"
She narrowed her eyes and smiled poking his little stomach "Totally"
"Yeah!" he claimed victory as he ran to his bathroom.
Jack was sitting on the middle of his mother's bed Indian style watching a bunch of minions sing wearing only his pull ups.
Regina smiled as she entered her room allured by the sounds coming out of it.
"Mommy!" Jack quickly stood up and jumped from the bed right onto Regina. The woman had no option but to drop her purse and briefcase in order to catch her son from falling.
He looped his arms around his mother and kissed her cheek.
"Hey baby… it's so nice to see you too" She said as she smooched on her boy. "Where's Emy?"
"She's in the shower… cause Fanky is comin later to play with us"
Regina raised her brows "Oh… I see… Well how about we take this movie downstairs and you can keep me company while I make dinner my beautiful prince?"
"Kay mommy…" He said smiling.
"Alright my love…" The boy remained in his mother's arms as they exited her bedroom.
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Emily walked into her mother's bedroom looking for her brother. All she found was her mother's purse and brief case. She figured he was with her in the kitchen as she could smell something cooking.
Emily felt horrible… she couldn't even imagine how much it was taking for her mother to actually be able to keep it together after all she was going through. She felt like shit for the previous night's fight; so she walked into the kitchen and looped her arms around Regina. The woman was still wearing her elegant work attire finished with the simple touch of an apron. She stood by the counter tossing a salad.
The beautiful brunette slightly jumped but quickly smelled her daughter's soft perfume and smiled.
Emily kissed her cheek; placed her chin on her mother's shoulder and embraced her lovingly from the back. Regina placed her own hands over her daughter's and squeezed them lightly.
"Well hello to you too…" Regina said.
The woman turned around.
"You look beautiful…"
Emily smiled "Thanks… I just threw on some jeans and a sweater, no big deal" She said "coolly"
Regina nodded furrowing her brows "Aha… and… you smell very good too" She added.
"Mom… I always… smell good" Em said matter of factly.
"I can't argue with that dear…" Regina added and smiled.
Em looked down and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.
"Look mom… I…" She sighed "I'm sorry about last night…"
Regina shook her head and placed her hand on her daughter's cheek "Its ok my love I think we both allowed the circumstances to get the best of us… I am sorry too" Regina finished with a gentle smile and tapped her daughter's chin.
Emily wanted to comfort her mother so she went in for a hug. "I love you mom…"
Regina smiled "And I love you Em…" Regina's emotional eyes searched the room still engaged in the hug, she missed her wife.
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Regina had just finished putting Jack to bed, she gently closed his door and walked down the hall. All she could see was the light of her daughter's TV seeping through the door which was ajar. Regina quietly walked towards it and peeked in. She saw her daughter and friend comfortably lying on the bed; Em's head rested on Frankie's chest; eyes fixed on the movie that played. Regina's lip curled into an honest smile, she retreated to her bedroom to face the rest of the night alone.
Ah! Ok so what do you guys think? Please let me know! I love your reviews. By the way, the chapter names are song titles…