A/N: Regina's thoughts will be in bold italic at the end of the chapter. I hope you like it.
Chapter 5 Wait (M83)
This morning was glorious, at least for some it would be. While limbs were moving upstairs, eyes blinking rapidly and welcoming another day down the hall; maybe heads plummeting back onto pillows right down the street, jaws opening and closing in the other side of town... the truth was that innumerable amounts of little existences were welcoming or cursing and throwing a shoe at this brand new chance. To start over again… or continue something magical, maybe stop something that hurts.
Emma had spent the night on the couch. It was her wife's couch and it was her couch; yet this morning it was only hers. Things were feeling less dense; the blonde could somehow feel more leverage in the air of her relationship with Regina. Emma went to bed thinking, over and over of how unfair this situation was. She thought of how she felt, but she could not help but to wonder how Regina felt. And the answer at the end of each looping though was the same. She felt hurt.
Emerald green eyes sprung wide open, the same way her body jolted awake.
"Wake up mama!" Her toddler screamed at the top of his lungs as he jumped on her. Jack wore his cozy red footie pajamas.
"Umph!" Jack had successfully knocked the wind out of her. "I'm up! I'm up…" Emma instinctively held on to her son as she gained awareness.
As soon as her consciousness kicked in, all the woman could see was a bright pair of eyes that mirrored hers. "Ugh… baby…" Emma tilted her sore neck to the side and rubbed patterns on his warm little back as he sat on her lap facing her.
"Good morning mama… I wake up see?" The boy lovingly explained.
Emma smiled groggily "I see baby boy… you're VERY awake, and mama is totally not"
Emma looked at the clock it was only five thirty am.
The woman stood up with her son in her arms and went into the kitchen.
"Are you hungry?" She asked the bundle in her arms as she sat him on the counter.
The boy nodded as she searched the cabinets and pulled out a box of cereal.
"I want pancakes"
Jack voiced and Emma froze, and then put the box back to its original place. "You do huh?"
Jack smiled and nodded.
The woman began to ready a bowl and find ingredients. Jack silently observed her from the counter.
"You know what?… life is just… so unpredictable" The woman said as she walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon of milk; Jack's eyes fallowed her attentively.
"Just when you think you have everything laid out perfectly… just in the right place you know? Like a stack of pancakes actually… or maybe like a stack of legos… " Emma rambled and began to mix the ingredients.
"When you put that last piece and you are just there you know?… looking at this really amazing thing you built"
Jack continued to stare at his blonde mother, his little mouth agape and head tilted to the side.
"… Boom!" Emma motions with her arms. "The blow comes and you realize that your life is just a multicolored scattered mess of legos… Your tower is gone… and have you ever stepped on a lego? I mean… it hurts! It hurts a lot" Emma finished her sentence and Jack confused scratched his head.
Emma stopped and looked at her beautiful boy and smiled "You have no idea of what I'm talking about do you?"
Jack smiled adorably as she leaned in and began to tickle him, making the toddler burst into giggles.
As she pulled back Jack placed both his little hands on each of her cheeks and looked into her eyes.
"But you are the best listener…" She smiled and tapped his nose. "Thank you for listening to me…" She told the tiny human. Jack continued to stare into her eyes, hands still on her cheeks.
"Mama…"
"Yeah baby?"
"I hungry…"
Emma laughed and kissed him.
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After eating a very very early breakfast with her son, Emma bathed and dressed him for the day. As he watched cartoons, she reached for a notebook and one of his colored pencils. The woman scribbled on.
"Ok… why don't you go and wake up Emy?"
Jack's eyes brightened and he jumped off his bed. As soon as the toddler entered Emily's quiet room, Emma walked down the other end of the hall and heard her son.
"Emy wake up!"
Emma smiled; she could picture her daughter jolt awake just as she had. The blonde walked into the master bedroom. Regina was still fast asleep and she looked just so beautiful. The blonde's lip curled into a soft sincere smile. She placed the note on the night stand and wanted nothing more but to kiss her wife. The blonde gently traced her finger tips down a few locks of hair and then walked out.
As soon as the door closed; Regina opened her eyes. She took a deep breath as her beautiful dark eyes scanned the room. She sat up and took the note nearby.
Regina,
I know that you are in pain, and there are not enough chances I could get in this lifetime to show you just how sorry I am that I caused you to feel that pain. I know that everything changes… that days turn into nights, that life can feel so good and that it can also feel like shit… I know that one day there is an inevitable end to all the good and the shit, I don't know why there is an expiration date on everything, I don't know why things just… transform into something else… but there is one thing I've always known, I am so in love with you. I am, and the only thing I want to do every morning is the same thing I've always wanted to do; to look at you and feel this.
Yours,
Emma.
P.S: I took Jack to my parent's house so you could have an extra hour to yourself.
Regina felt her heart expand and her eyes swell with tears. The gorgeous woman took a deep breath and simply felt herself smile.
The day went on with ease. Emma took on her usual tasks with a different attitude; the woman loved waking up in her own home again. Having shared the morning with her son, simply getting to make breakfast for him, hold him and talk to him… watch him eat and smile, things were definitely shifting. She had felt Regina's walls starting to slowly come down.
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The blonde sat at her office and stared at her phone that rested on the desk. She thought about it, actually she had been thinking of texting Regina all morning. The sensation at the pit of her stomach and feeling rushing through her veins all the way to her fingertips pushed her. In truth it wasn't a push, the action was not even near an obligation. Emma was honest with herself and all she wanted was to be with her wife. She just missed her.
Her hands tapped the surface anxiously; she bit her lip and simply took the item and began to type.
"Hey, how's your day going?" Emma typed and her heart hesitated briefly at the painful threat of getting stung; the woman simply stared at it and hit send.
Her leg trembled as she tapped her foot against the floor immediately after. Now came the wait, the last thing she wanted was for Regina to simply ignore her and continue to add to the pain in her chest.
Emma stared at the phone as if willing it to make a sound, buzz… anything.
Nothing.
"Ugh…" The blonde crossed her arms on her desk and let her head fall on them.
The phone vibrated and made a simple sound.
Emma's head jolted up and she stared at her cell; she quickly picked it up and swiped the screen.
"Insanely busy. I have not finished reviewing these proposals and have a meeting in a couple of hours"
Emma smiled, this was progress. The brunette had been more than civil the past several hours and she hoped it would stay that way.
"Why don't you take a break? Have lunch with me?"
"Actually, I won't have the time to even get near a meal. I must finish this and then go to my meeting; I might need you to please pick up Jack this afternoon"
"No problem I got it…"
"Thank you."
Emma sat there for a few minutes and immediately called the diner. After placing an order for her wife's favorite salad she placed one for her favorite burger and fries. It would buy her time to pick up the meals and get to Regina before she would have to enter her tedious meeting.
The blonde dropped off the salad and a piece of the strawberry cheesecake Regina could never ever resist. She left the items with a bottle of water with Regina's assistant. Emma simply left them there with a smile and turned on her heels. Jennifer smiled and watched her leave.
Emma wouldn't get to watch Regina look up from her papers and smile once Jennifer entered her office… but it happened anyway.
Afternoon had arrived and Regina was still stuck at her meeting dealing with suited up morons. The woman was simply dying to go home and be with her children… and who was she kidding? She was hoping Emma would be there too; perhaps the blonde would stay with Jack and Emily until the brunette got home… perhaps she could simply find an irrefutable excuse in order to see Regina… The woman shook her head lightly and caught her heart rambling wildly; she needed to listen to a different voice.
On the other side of town, Emma was stuck with another call of vandalism.
The blonde looked at the time and simply dialed.
"Em…"
"Hey ma… what's up?" Emily answered.
"I need you to do me a huge favor"
"Sure, anything…"
"I was supposed to pick up Jack this afternoon, your mom is stuck in a meeting and I'm in the middle of another vandalism call… Do you think you could please-"
Emma didn't even finish when Emily interrupted her.
"Don't worry… I'll go get him"
"Thank you so much kid… I'll see you soon"
"See you later ma"
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Emily and Frankie had successfully picked the toddler up. The two girls had approached the day normally. Frankie didn't want to bring up the topic and actually have a conversation with Em about their near kiss and their surfacing feelings for each other; she knew the other girl had so much on her mind already. All Frankie wanted was to be there for her. That didn't stop her from staring at her when she wasn't looking though; and even when she was looking.
The girls walked with the toddler near the pier. After finding a bench, they decided to settle.
Jack reached inside his multicolored backpack and pulled out his current favorite toys; a complete set of ninja turtles figurines. The boy sat on the ground and began to place each one on it. Frankie then sat across from him, Em stayed on the bench and furrowed her brows.
"What are you doing?" She said and laughed lightly.
"It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… I must" She said seriously.
Em rolled her eyes amused by Frankie's move, she laughed. "Seriously? Are you about to like play dolls with my little brother… right now?"
"Oh no Em, you do not get it. These are Teenage Mutant Ninja—"
"Turtles I know…" Em finished amused and she had to admit highly endeared.
"Em… They are human sized turtles that have mastered the fine and totally as-" Frankie looked at Jack and quickly corrected "Butt kicking art of ninjutsu"
The toddler smiled and looked at them. Emily continued to smile and listen to her friend.
"Dude… they are mutant, eat pizza and fight crime… not to mention they have sickeningly awesome names… They are not just dolls Em, you need to get in touch with your definition of cool"
Frankie turned to Jack and continued. "Please tell me you have Splinter cutiekins"
Jack smiled and stood up, the boy reached into the small pocket of his pants and dug for it.
Frankie smiled at Em "Baby bro here knows his amounts of cool… give me five Jackns"
"Yeah!" Jack laughed and high fived the girl. Emily laughed and sat there as she watched them play.
After a few minutes, Emily had found her way a few steps away from them, the girl leaned on the wooden surface of the long pier's structure and watched the calm waters move. The sun reflected on it as the wind blew through her beautiful dark locks. Frankie observed the change in her friend's mood, she stood up and walked towards her.
The slightly taller girl walked closer to Em and gently leaned on the same surface, Frankie too wore her long black hair down, it blew freely along the breeze.
"Hey… everything ok?" Frankie asked as her stunning eyes tried to look at the setting sun; its blinding splendor making the girl's orbs look almost a whitening shade of green.
Emily turned her head and caught sight of her stunning gaze. She smiled and silently felt all the amazing things Frankie made her feel; she wanted so badly to just let them out.
"I am… It's just…" She shook her head and looked down; then back up and into the setting sun. "I wish things would go back to normal between my moms… she still must think I'm super pissed at her…"
Frankie turned and faced Em.
"Em… I've never met two people who look at each other like they do, hell even the way they are with each other… that's just so rare and so awesome, look… I know that right now everything just feels like it sucks but…" Frankie looked deeply into Em's eyes. "If I were your moms I'd fight… I mean…" The girl sighed overwhelmed by her own feelings for Em "They are so fucking lucky they have each other Em… and you know what… I hope they do fight… because if they have this luck… and simply don't, then what's the point of... anything?"
Emily smiled and felt her heart beat increase as she continued to get lost in Frankie's eyes.
Baby Jack had wondered to the pier's edge and dropped one of his ninja dolls; The boy squatted as perfectly as his little legs allowed; he stretched his arm and tried to reach the floating toy.
"Ugh…" He continued to reach closer and then turned "Emy… ugh… I can't get it"
He continued to try, his little fingers stretching for his toy.
Lost in the moment, Frankie and Emily stared into each other's eyes. The wind ferociously blew on their long hair. Both girls laughed.
Frankie walked closer "Here…"
She gently and almost hesitantly tucked a few strands of Em's untamed strands behind her ear. The girl could feel Frankie's energy pulling her in. They both smiled. Emily suddenly remembered and looked over Frankie's shoulder.
Her gorgeous face fell "Frankie… where's Jack?" She asked alarmed as she lost her colors. The girl looked all around and her baby brother was not in sight. The rest of his toys remained where only minutes before, him and Frankie had played.
Frankie's head turned and desperately searched everywhere. Emily's chest began to rapidly rise and fall.
"Jack!" Emily screamed and frantically looked around, tears already pooling in her eyes.
"Jack! Where are you buddy?!" Frankie yelled.
Emily quickly began to hyperventilate "Frankie…" She whispered brokenly as her breathing trembled.
She was desperate and in an instant she found Frankie's eyes.
The taller girl held onto her and looked into her orbs "Hey it's going to be ok, I promise" Frankie desperately tried to calm her down. She continued to look and finally saw Jack's toy floating by the edge of the pier.
Her eyes widened "Shit… shit shit Jack!" She quickly ran and sprinted, her athletic body aiding her resolve greatly.
Emily stood there frozen, thick tears fell from her eyes as her entire world began to disconnect… all she could hear was a beeping sound fading into her ears. Her beautiful baby brother had just been in her arms, smiling happily and now he was simply gone.
Frankie dove into the cold water and then came up after a few minutes.
Nothing.
She desperately looked around chest heaving; she took a deep breath and went back in.
Emily found a bit of coherent connection to reality and ran to the edge of the pier; she clumsily reached for her phone and called for help.
In that instant Frankie came back up to the surface, now holding an unconscious baby Jack.
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Regina was the first to arrive at the hospital, the woman was an emotional mess waiting to topple over. As soon as Emily saw her mother she called for her.
"Mom!" Emily voiced full of emotion as tears ran down her flushed cheeks.
Regina gasped as she turned and saw Emily running towards her; more tears began to fall.
Em crashed against Regina's body "Mom, I'm so sorry it's all my fault… I'm so sorry" She cried into her mother's neck.
Regina held her daughter as her eyes searched the place desperately. She pulled back "Where is he? Is he ok?" She asked her voice broken "Whale!" Regina screamed in the hall.
The brunette was in absolute pain. Emily managed to calm down a bit and talk to her mother "They took him in there… and haven't come out since"
Regina's eyes were ravaged and lost, but she knew she had to find her center and keep it together. She had to. For her daughter and her son.
"Whale!" She screamed again looking around for a nurse or a staff member. A nurse rapidly approached her.
"Ma'am please calm down, lower your voice"
Regina gave her the most lethal of her death glares, her eyes looked almost catatonic, the woman had to hold herself and not simply throw a fire ball at her. Regina's hand almost reached for the move, her fingers twitched as she held back and controlled herself. The nurse quickly walked away.
Whale came out of the room and approached both Emily and Regina. The brunette turned as he called her name, her eyes widened and she desperately waited for his words.
"Regina he's ok" The man straightly said.
Both brunettes took a deep breath of relief.
"Jack was fortunate to have Frances there… the girl performed cardio pulmonary resuscitation, and well, she kept the compressions and ventilations until the ambulance got there, luckily he wasn't underwater for too long… He's awake… at the moment a bit fussy and crying for you, but his vitals are perfectly fine… he should be up and running by tomorrow. I want to leave him overnight, and keep him in observation, just to be completely sure.
Regina nodded anxiously, feeling alive again.
"You may both go in and see him" The man said, smiled and left.
Regina and her daughter walked in and their hearts broke at the sight of the small boy flushed teary face. The woman gasped and ran to the bed.
"Mommy…" Jack voiced yearningly.
Regina took him into her arms and held on to him. "Mommy's here my love… it's ok, everything's ok… you're ok" She kissed the top of his head and comforted him.
Emily stood a few feet away looking broken.
The boy rested his head on his mother's shoulder.
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A few minutes later, Emily made her way into the room were Frankie had been checked and treated by a nurse. They were alone. Frankie sat on the edge of a bed, her long black hair damp, contrasted her milk like skin… she looked up as soon as she felt a presence in the room. Her eyes stunning as ever.
Emily walked towards her in silence. She looked into Frankie's eyes and quickly noticed the girl had lightly busted her brow, she had a small cut that was now patched up.
Frankie smiled softly and Em walked closer. Getting lost in her gaze.
"You got hurt…" Em said softly as she reached near the cut with her hand gently.
"It's nothing… just a scratch. The nurse told me Jack was ok" Frankie said and continued to look into Emily's eyes. The other girl nodded and smiled… "He's already playing with his mutant dolls again" Frankie smiled and Emily walked closer.
"I'm missing all the fun then…" Frankie said peacefully.
Another step.
Em gently reached for Frankie's cheek and closed the gap between them, sealing it with a slow yet deep kiss.
Frankie closed her eyes and welcomed the sentiment. Her lips moved softly. Tasting her for the first time.
Emily broke the kiss very gently, only the subtle intimate sound of its demise was heard. With eyes still closed Em rested her forehead on hers.
They did not move. They continued to breathe… Frankie gently opened her eyes and searched for Em's; gazing into them and then down to her stunning lips.
The taller girl placed her hand on the small curve of her lower back and pulled her in. She opened her mouth and deliciously embraced Emily's. the slightly shorter girl opened hers and felt Frankie's warm tongue mouth-wateringly tempting hers. Em whimpered into the amazing kiss.
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It had taken Emma a bit longer than Regina to get there since the blonde was all the way in the other side of town. She sped, then she ran through the hallway looking for her family desperately. Regina had already spoken to her on the phone and told her Jack was ok, but all Emma wanted was her wife and her baby boy in her arms. Safely.
The blonde's eyes lit as she walked in the room and saw Regina sitting by the bed caressing Jack's little hand as he peacefully slept.
The brunette saw the blonde and tears invaded her eyes again. "Emma" She breathed out.
Regina stood up and crashed her body against hers… Emma closed her eyes as their torsos collided and looped her arms around her wife. Regina was a trembling nervous wreck; she clung to the taller woman for dear life. She placed her hands on her small waist and took her in… she felt her.
That night they had stayed at the hospital. The room dimly lit, Emma slept next to Jack on the bed, The blonde's hand rested on his tiny chest… perhaps a way to make sure he was breathing and he was safe. Regina sat on the couch a few feet away from them and simply stared in silence, taken by the moment and its immense peace. She observed Emma's wedding band around her finger… each tiny feature with vivid clarity.
"That night as I waited for Emma to arrive, the minutes stretched for miles. All I could do was stare at my baby's tiny hand gently resting on the pillow. And I understood that we were all circumstances. The pink blush on his skin, reminded me that just as life was flowing within him, it had almost simply flowed out. Existence had been reduced to nothing but a collection of small chances that looped and faithfully clung from one moment to the next, full of hope... in order to be sustained. This thing that kept us all together was strangely fragile; it was strangely beautiful… and passing by with irrevocably high rapidity"
A/N: All mistakes are mine, I know nothing about CPR or drowning victims procedures so please keep that in mind. I'd love to hear your thoughts please review if you like the story…